by SA Magnusson
The spell faded and the councilor studied Derek. “You have some talent. Perhaps it was enough for this.”
With that, the councilor stepped back. The bubble around us disappeared and everything began moving again. Noise that had been absent, leaving us in a strangely silent void, returned, dozens of voices suddenly vying for my attention.
“This location will be monitored,” he said, then turned and headed back out of the entrance to the ER.
Derek and I stood there, neither of us speaking. Finally, I grabbed his arm and dragged him back behind the desk and into the hallway. Thankfully, there wasn’t anyone else here, but we probably didn’t have much time alone, not without darting into an exam room, and that would open us to a different sort of question.
“You didn’t have to say that,” I told him.
“I’m here to keep an eye on you, Kate.”
I shook my head. “I don’t need—”
“I saw what you did,” he whispered. “I don’t know what it is, but it’s not the same kind of… talent… as what I have.” He looked down at me, his arms crossed over his chest. “What aren’t you telling me?”
Should I just tell Derek that I was a dark mage? He’d been a friend since the moment I’d met him, even if he had been assigned to watch over me by my grandparents. I’d seen him with patients, and I knew he didn’t rush to judgment, even with the most difficult seekers. That was a trait that not many nurses managed to hold onto, and he’d been doing it for years. Wouldn’t he understand?
Then I thought back to Tony and the magic I’d detected from him. More and more, I was certain that the spell used on him had been designed to burn off his magic and had been responsible for the change. He might be a dark mage, but what if he was like me?
Derek waited. After his confession had saved me, he deserved something.
I sighed. “My father was—”
I didn’t get the chance to finish. A door opened, cutting me off, and the wide form of Joan stepped into the hall. “Good. Dr. Michaels. I need you in Room Four. Multiple traumas. All hands on.”
Nodding, I started after her, with Derek keeping pace. There was something in his eyes that told me we would have to continue this conversation eventually, and I would have to come up with an explanation that not only made sense but wasn’t too much of a lie.
As we returned to the ER, a different chill crawled along my spine. Not magic, but the other talent I had.
Death.
I could always feel it when it came, something like a premonition. Too often, it left me incapacitated, and there had been times when I had been barely able to function, much to the amusement of my attendings and to my perpetual embarrassment.
Gritting my teeth, I followed Joan to Room 4 and the source of the feeling of death. If we were fast enough, we might be able to head it off.
At least it gave me something to think about other than the way Derek looked at me, and the curiosity behind his eyes. Was there something else to the way he studied me? Could it be fear?
I pushed away those thoughts and turned to the patient. “Okay. What do we have?”
4
I punched, throwing far too much of myself into the jab, striking the seventy-pound bag repeatedly. Master David watched from the side, saying nothing. He was only ten years older than me, but several degrees higher in his black belt training and had been practicing karate for nearly two decades. Long enough for him to have much more experience than me.
I jabbed again, striking the center of the bag. I kept my focus on it, pushing through it. That was one of the techniques that martial arts taught. You didn't strike the surface of something. You struck through it, trying to go beyond where your hand might be.
One of the things that my mage ancestry gave me was strength and speed, along with increased reflexes. It made me skilled in martial arts, and I had advanced rapidly. As far as I could tell, none of the others at the gym where I trained had any magical abilities, which made the fact that they were able to keep up with me during sparring sessions that much more impressive. If I had more time to devote to my martial arts training, I could advance even further, but with my erratic schedule, finding the time I needed was often difficult. Master David was kind enough to allow me that flexibility, but I suspected it was only because he thought I showed promise.
After another few kicks on the bag, I took a break and grabbed my water bottle. I wiped my forehead with my towel, trying not to think about the visit earlier in the day. After that, and then the series of traumas—each of them leaving me with the nauseating sense of death hanging over me for the rest of my shift—I had been ready to return home and sink onto my couch with a glass of wine.
Instead, I’d come here. This was probably healthier for me. Besides, coming here let me burn off some of the irritation I’d been feeling since the mage first appeared. Most of the time, I could throw myself into my training, beating on the bag or my opponent, and forget about who—and what—I was.
“You lost all technique,” Master David said.
I glanced over at him. “Sometimes I just want to punch and get that energy out.”
“Does it help?”
“After a week like I've had? A little.”
Master David had a way of standing that seemed more relaxed than I could manage, barely moving to sweep his gaze around the gym. “One of the things I teach my early students is self-control.”
“I have self-control.” If I didn't, I would've done something stupid in the ER, like snap at Roberts. It was bad enough that I had begun tormenting the faculty. Then again, I had done something stupid and had used my magic far more openly than I should have.
“What I mean is having self-control in all things.”
Master David might be ten years older than me, but he didn't look it. Most nights when I came to the gym, he had one of his five kids with him, and tonight was no different. His oldest, Eric, sat at a folding desk along one wall, working on his homework. Some of the nights I’d been here lately, Eric had been sparring with people ten years older than him. Even as lanky as he was, I doubted anyone would be messing with Eric in school.
“You don't think I have self-control in all things?”
“I'm not saying that. You have talent. It's the reason I've been as flexible with you as I can be, but you lack a certain focus. Like tonight when you came here, I could practically feel the irritation within you. You needed to strike that bag.”
“Like I said, it helped a little.”
“You shouldn't have that need. If you can find a way of maintaining your focus and calm, you wouldn't need to waste energy on things like this.”
I wiped the towel across my forehead again. “Sometimes a bad day is just a bad day.”
“And sometimes it's about more than that.”
I fell silent. “Today was a bad day. Really bad.” After the mage had left, I’d lost two of the traumas. There wouldn’t have been anything I could do, and the unrelenting sense of death continued to build, letting me know how futile my efforts were. Derek had needed to call the end to the code blue, practically pulling me away. He shouldn’t have needed to do that, but I didn’t want to feel when death finally came. It washed through the victim and left me nauseated and weakened, but also strangely refreshed. More than anything else about me, that troubled me.
He smiled. “The last few months, you've been off, even though you’ve made a better effort of coming to the gym. Some weeks, you're here every day. I figured I would make sure everything was okay.”
Maybe I had been off the last few days, especially today, but could I really have struggled over the last few months? The timing of his observation couldn't be chance. It had been months since I had seen Aron. Months since we had managed to defeat the demon king and thwart the Lexy and her dark mages. And months since I had begun to wonder whether or not there was a part of me that was something more than just a dark mage.
Once upon a time, I had thought that being a dark mage would ha
ve been the worst thing I could think of. Now there was something more I worried about.
Since that attack, I had been coming to the gym. I had increased my focus, wanting to be prepared if I was attacked by demons again, however unlikely that was. That attack had required something dramatic, the weakening of the protections placed on the city by the rivers, along with the death of two of the Carters.
“Yeah. Everything is fine. I’m just working on my unagi.”
“The eel?”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. Jen would have been so disappointed. “No. A Friends reference. I guess you didn’t get it.”
I couldn't tell him about what I'd experienced, just as I couldn't tell him why I had struggled in the last few months. I had thought that training, throwing myself into hopefully reaching the next level in my martial arts training, would have taken my mind off things. And it had, but maybe not quite as well as I had hoped. If Master David was aware of my struggles, how many others would be?
“I was more of a Seinfeld person.”
Opening one eye, I watched him for a moment. “It’s because you have a puffy shirt, isn’t it?”
He shot me a look. “If I did, I’d make it look good.” When he smiled, the warmth in it almost made me open up to him. “I'm always available to talk if you need someone.”
“I'm not sure you would be able to understand what I'm going through.”
Master David wasn't a part of the Veil. I couldn't reveal those secrets. It would draw the attention of the knights, mages who were dedicated to protecting the secrets of the council. There were fewer knights than there had been, several of them having been lost in the attack, sacrificed as part of the Dark Council’s attempt to raise the demon king, but even though I wasn't a part of the mage world, I had little doubt that the council would try to replace those who were lost, though it might take time.
Master David looked around his gym. “I get all sorts in here. Plenty of kids think to escape the inner city, wanting to learn karate so they can defend themselves against bullies. Quite a few are disappointed when I teach them the first rule of self-defense.”
“Run away,” I said.
Master David smiled. “Running is always the best course of action. It’s better to stay away from a fight and regroup. Most of the time, you can avoid a battle. There are times when that option isn’t available, when you have to stay and fight. When you’re young, it can be hard to tell the difference.”
“Are you saying I’m young or that I can’t tell the difference between the need to run and stay and fight?”
“I wasn’t saying anything. You’re the one putting meaning behind my words.” He nodded to the heavy bag. “Keep punishing it if that’s what you need. There are others here if you find a different need.”
When he was gone, I contemplated beating on the heavy bag a little longer, but I’d been in the gym for nearly an hour and my rumbling stomach warned me that it was time to eat. One of the problems with working shifts in the ER was the upheaval it caused in my daily routine, disrupting meals in particular. Gorging myself in my condo when I got home wasn’t good either.
I grabbed my things and nodded to Master David as I made my way out of the gym. From here, it wasn’t a long walk back to my home, just as it wasn’t a long walk to the gym from the hospital. That was the advantage of the location. I tried to walk as often as I could, enjoying the sounds of the city around me. There was something relaxing about it and tonight was no different, regardless of how chilly the air might be.
When I reached my complex, I hurried up to my condo, fishing the keys out of my purse. Movement behind me caught my attention and I spun, keys flashing out, my body tensed and ready for an attack.
At least I’d only prepared myself using my martial arts training and not magic. That might have been a disaster.
Derek held his hands up, watching me with wide eyes. “Hey. I just thought that the two of us could talk.”
“You thought to surprise me and force me to talk?”
He shook his head. “Not force, but after the kind of day we had, I knew you’d need to unwind and I figured you could use the company.” He glanced down at my gym bag for a moment. “I didn’t realize you did tae kwon do.”
“Karate,” I said. “I’ve been doing it since I was a kid. It was a way of redirecting my rage.”
“Your rage?”
I cocked my head at him, holding out my keys as if to stab him. “You don’t think I have rage?”
Derek smiled widely. “After the way you were talking to the mage councilor today, I guess I’d believe anything.”
I stared at him before turning to my door and quickly unlocking it, pausing as I stepped inside. “You can come in for a little bit.”
He followed me in, closing and locking the door behind himself.
We’d known each other the last two years, but we’d never seen each other outside of work. There was something different about having Derek in my home that changed the dynamic between us.
I studied him a moment. “Do you want something to drink?” I asked as I headed for the kitchen.
“What are you going to have?”
I paused and looked back at him. “Maybe a bottle of wine?”
He laughed, following me into the kitchen, his gaze sweeping over everything. “A bottle? Was it really that kind of day?”
“You know, I usually come home and have a bottle or two by myself while I cry myself to sleep.”
“That’s…”
“I’m kidding, Derek. Lighten up. I just wanted a glass of wine after a hard day. Don’t tell me you never do.”
“I’m not much of a wine drinker. I’m more of a beer person.”
I nodded toward the fridge. “I might have some beer in there too.”
“No. I’ll have a glass of what you’re having.”
I grabbed a bottle and made quick work of uncorking it. If nothing else, Gran made certain I knew how to open a bottle of wine. They might not have managed to teach me how to use my magic very well, but they made damned sure I knew how to do other things. This was more practical, anyway.
After pouring two glasses and raising it to a half-hearted cheers with Derek, I took a sip before resting my hands on the counter and looking at him. “What do you expect me to tell you?”
He paused with his glass at his lips before setting it down. “You were starting to tell me something when you stopped. I thought—”
“You thought I’d open myself up to you and you could save me? I know my grandparents asked you to watch over me, but I don’t need you to keep me safe, Derek.”
He shook his head. “That’s not it at all. I want to know what kind of magic you were using. It’s not the same as mine, and I might not know as much about magic as your grandparents, but I saw the power you used. What was that?”
The question was loaded, and he knew it. I took another drink from my glass, setting it down on the counter when it was nearly empty. He deserved an answer, only, I still didn’t know if he deserved the answer. What would he do with that information?
Maybe he’d only go to my grandparents, and if he did, seeing as how they already knew, it might not matter. What would happen if he thought to go to someone else on the council?
It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Derek.
“I never knew my father,” I started, choosing my words carefully. “My mother was a mage, and considering my grandparents, I suspect she was reasonably powerful, but I didn’t know my father. Whatever strangeness there is to my magic comes from him.”
“That makes sense.”
“What part of it?”
Derek took a drink of his wine and set it down, considering me for a long moment. “All of it? I’m surprised your grandparents aren’t able to identify what type of magic your father had.”
I looked down so that I didn’t look any more suspicious than I already did. “Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter. I don’t have much control over it, and whatever the other typ
e of magic I have is unusual enough—”
“That you think you need to hide it.” When I looked up, Derek met my gaze. The compassion that he showed with all of his patients shone in his eyes. “I didn’t understand it before, but I think I do now. You have talent. The kind of talent the council wouldn’t have ignored—and certainly not your grandparents. That tells me there’s some other reason for you to hide your abilities.” He studied me for a long moment. “You think it’s dangerous. Or they’ll think it’s dangerous. And when the mage councilor appeared, you were nervous.”
Derek was smart. I’d known that from working with him. Not only did he have a quick mind, he was decisive. There were times when I thought he’d make a good doctor, but we needed compassionate nurses like him, and I didn’t want to insult him by telling him that I thought he could be something else.
“I don’t know who my father was, but I worry that my magic is dark magic,” I said softly, lowering my eyes.
There. I’d said it. If Derek intended to report me to the council, then there might not be anything I could do anyway. Besides, it seemed as if he had already determined some of what my issue was, so what I was telling him now wasn’t news to him. It only confirmed it.
“That’s why you wanted to help Tony?” he asked.
I looked up. “What? I wasn’t trying to help him because I knew him or anything. I was trying to help him because he was my patient.”
“Kate—I’ve seen you with patients you want to help. You’ve never used magic on them before. There was something about this guy that was different.”
“Magic had been used on him. Nothing more than that.”
Derek took another drink of his wine, finishing it and setting the glass on the counter next to mine. “What did you determine from him?”
“Nothing.”
“It wasn’t nothing. If it was, you wouldn’t have paled the way you did when the councilor appeared. What was it?”
I was this far in already; what was a little further? Besides, having someone near me who understood who—and what—I was wouldn’t be a bad thing. It’s not like Aron, the only other person besides my grandparents who knew anything, had been around. Maybe Derek could be my confidant.