Gina King’s hospital room was lavishly appointed and filled with so many flowers, it looked like an English garden. The air was scented with perfume and rocked with laughter and eager conversations. After eight hours of labor, Gina herself looked exhausted but exhilarated. And as she held court over the family that crowded in close to get a look at the baby, the new mother practically radiated joy.
“She’s a beauty, Adam,” Travis said with a grin. “Lucky for her, she looks just like her mother.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Adam said and bent down to kiss his wife’s forehead.
Julie’s eyes were blurry with tears as she watched Gina’s parents, the Torinos, coo over their latest grandchild. Standing right beside them was Adam, who only managed to tear his gaze from his wife long enough to stare wide-eyed at his daughter. Jackson and Travis were both there, each of them delighted by their new niece. Julie had had a turn at holding the newborn and as she cradled that tiny scrap of life, she’d suddenly felt both a part of the crowd, and somehow distant from them all, too. When she handed Emma back to her doting father, Julie stepped back, so that she could see them all, watch the scene with an objective eye.
She didn’t begrudge Gina and Adam their joy, but as she watched her brother-in-law smiling tenderly at his family, she couldn’t help but wish that Travis would feel the same way toward her and the child they’d created together.
But she wasn’t foolish enough to try to lie to herself about it, either. Travis was doing what he considered the right thing. Julie knew he would make a life with her whether he’d wanted one or not. He would welcome their child and love it, but he would never love her.
And how could she stay with a man who only remained married to her because of his own sense of duty?
The answer was simple.
She couldn’t.
New tears filled her eyes, but she blinked them back. This moment wasn’t about her. Or Travis. This moment, this time, was for Gina and Adam and their daughter. There would be time enough later to talk to Travis. To tell him that no matter what he did, she wouldn’t be staying with him at the end of their year together.
But that decision was followed quickly by a horrible thought. What if he decided to fight her for custody of their child? What then? That thought gave Julie a cold chill that snaked along her spine and made her shiver. She wouldn’t have the resources to fight him in court. So whether she wanted to stay or not, did she really have a choice?
Must she just somehow accustom herself to the idea of living a half life—loving a man and knowing that he would never return that love? She’d trapped herself in a velvet box.
A cage with no bars.
She didn’t want to stay, but couldn’t leave.
“Are you all right?” Travis was there suddenly, right beside her. His voice was deep and soft, so that only she could hear him. He touched her face, fingertips light on her cheek and the buzz of heat shot through her at the connection, firing up her blood, easing the ice around her heart.
“I’m fine,” she lied. “Just tired, I guess.”
His eyes were worried, but he smiled at her just the same. “Not surprising. And now that the show’s over, I’ll take you home. You should be getting some rest anyway.”
She loved the way he wanted to take care of her. She only wished it was because he loved her.
“Probably a good idea,” she said, suddenly so fatigued she didn’t know if she could stay upright another ten minutes.
They said their goodbyes and left the private room to walk along the hospital corridor. In the middle of the night, the lights in the hallways seemed harsh. A baby wailed in the distance and two nurses huddled behind a counter, looking over a chart. Machines beeped, families paced the corridors and the sounds of their shoes clicked loudly against the linoleum.
Travis took Julie’s hand in his and tried to find his equilibrium again. He’d lost it sometime during the long night they’d just passed. Watching Adam, usually a rock of emotional calm, turn into a harried, frantic man standing on the edge of panic had warned Travis of exactly what awaited him in just a few short months. He’d felt Adam’s nerves, experienced the fear right along with him and then the amazing joy that had followed all the terror.
And staring down into the face of that tiny, beautiful baby girl, Travis had felt something else. Something he hadn’t expected to hit him so hard. Something he was still dealing with.
Love.
Rich and full and complicated. The baby had been alive less than an hour and already, it was as if she’d always been here. She was a King. His brother’s daughter. Travis knew that if it came to it, he would lay down his own life for that child.
So, he had to wonder, how much bigger would the feelings be for his own baby? He couldn’t even imagine emotions that huge.
“Quite a night,” he said as he stabbed the elevator button.
Julie nodded. “Gina was amazing.”
“She was.” Travis tucked a strand of dark red hair behind Julie’s ear and indulged himself by then cupping her cheek in his palm. “You are, too.”
She laughed shortly. “I haven’t done anything yet.”
He shook his head and laid one hand against her belly. “Haven’t you? You’re making a child, Julie.”
“Travis,” she said as the elevator dinged and the doors swished open. “Are you okay?”
He wasn’t sure. He only knew that as he looked down into those green eyes that had haunted him from their very first night together, that he was feeling something different. Something…
“Yeah. I’m fine.” He took her elbow and steered her into the elevator for the short ride from the second floor to the first. He pushed the down button, the doors closed and a moment later, the world dropped out from beneath their feet.
Julie’s scream seemed to echo forever.
Only seconds later, though it felt like hours, Travis picked himself up off the elevator floor and crawled to where Julie lay sprawled in a corner. The elevator hadn’t dropped all that far. Just the one floor. But the jolting crash had sounded like a sonic boom and had clearly stunned her.
Dust drifted down from the ceiling and the elevator light flickered wildly.
Travis’s head hurt, his body ached and nothing was more important to him than reaching Julie. Her eyes fluttered open when he called her name.
“What happened?”
“I don’t know,” he muttered, running his hands up and down her body, checking for breaks, for bruises. “Are you hurt? Can you move?”
“Everything hurts,” she said, her voice catching in a way that tore at Travis’s chest. “But I think I can move.”
He held her as she shifted to sit upright, back braced against the wall. She lifted one hand to her forehead and a jolt of pure fear ripped through him when he saw a tiny rivulet of blood rolling along her skin.
“You’re bleeding,” he muttered and quickly patted his pockets for something to stop it with, even knowing he didn’t usually carry a handkerchief tucked into his jeans pockets.
“Oh, boy,” she whispered and rested her head against the wall. “My ears are ringing, too.”
“That’s the alarm,” he said, glancing up and over his shoulder as if he could see the source of the sound and shut it down with the force of his will alone.
“That’s good.” She laughed a little, hissed in a breath and then gasped.
“What?” he demanded. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
She lifted her gaze to his and in the flickering of the overhead light, shadows filled her green eyes and glistened in the sheen of unshed tears. Grabbing his hand, she held on tight and whispered, “I think something’s wrong. With the baby.”
The overhead light flickered again and went out, plunging them into blackness.
Hours later, Julie hurt all over.
It turned out that the elevator cable was frayed and had given way. Thankfully, they’d only fallen one floor. If they’d been on the fourth floor when the elevator had dropped, things might have been different for them. As it was, Travis had a few bruises but was mostly unscathed by the accident. Julie was still waiting to find out exactly how badly she’d been injured.
But the aches and pains in her legs and arms didn’t worry Julie. The only thing bothering her now was the cramping that had her praying frantically for the safety of her child. It had taken what felt like forever for the Birkfield fire department to arrive and extricate them from the elevator car. Through it all, Travis had been there, holding her, talking to her, trying to ease her fears while they sat huddled in the dark together.
When they were finally free, Julie had been whisked off to be examined. The doctors had run tests and taken blood and now had her hooked up to an IV that made her feel as though fear was filling her, one drip at a time.
Why did she need the IV? Was the baby still with her? Had it already given up its tenuous hold on life and was even now sliding free of her body?
Tears filled her throat, choking her, making each breath a victory. Dread and worry were her constant companions. She’d been so happy earlier, enjoying the celebration of new life with the rest of the King family. Now, everything was different.
Here in her lovely, private hospital room on the medical floor, there were no babies’ cries to comfort her. Only the silence of night broken occasionally by the conversations of nurses. Travis had gone—at her insistence—to tell Adam and Gina what was happening, leaving Julie alone, trapped in her bed, waiting to hear if her child would live or die.
And if she lost the baby? Grief welled up inside her. Misery both for the loss of a child she dearly wanted and the loss of Travis.
Over the last few days, since he’d found out about the baby, Travis had been amazing. He’d made her love him even more and though she’d like to pretend that his actions were prompted by his love for her, Julie knew better.
He was solicitous. Kind. Concerned.
Overbearing.
Dictatorial.
But…he didn’t love her. He was only doing what he thought was right. Taking charge of the woman who was carrying his child.
And with the loss of their baby, all of that would end as well. He wouldn’t want to continue their marriage once the reason for it was gone. So she would lose everything. Gently, she lay both hands on her belly, as if she could keep her child safe, convince it to stay with her.
For all their sakes.
A standing lamp in the corner threw out a puddle of soft gold light that reached for her from the shadows. The machine on her right beeped and clicked and measured each of her heartbeats.
And still she waited.
When the door to her room opened, she expected to find a dour-faced doctor standing there. Instead, it was Travis. Backlit from the hallways, she couldn’t see his features, but every line of his body was tense. He walked to her side quickly, took a seat beside her bed and gathered up one of her hands in his.
“How are Adam and Gina?”
“Worried about you,” he said.
“They shouldn’t be,” she told him, shifting her gaze to the dimly lit ceiling above. “This is a night they should be celebrating.”
“We’ll celebrate together after we hear from the damn doctor,” Travis assured her.
Celebrate what? she wondered. The loss of everything that mattered? Would he be relieved? Sad? Was he feeling what she was at all?
“You haven’t seen the doctor again yet?”
“No,” she said with a careful shake of her head, that still caused an eruption of a headache.
He fired a dark look at the closed door. “What’s taking them so long? How hard is it to look at ultrasounds? Why can’t they just tell us?”
“They can’t tell us. The doctor has to. So we have to wait.”
Turning back to her, he reached across, touched the bandage on her forehead and asked, “Are you in pain?”
A single tear spilled over and rolled down her cheek. Pain? She was in so much pain it was a wonder she could draw breath. But the small cut on her forehead had nothing to do with this pain. This particular agony went soul deep. “I’m fine.”
“Of course you are,” he said tightly, giving her a nod that said she was definitely all right and he wouldn’t accept anything less. “Everything’s going to be good, Julie. You’ll see.”
“Travis…” She wanted to tell him she understood that he was only there because it was the right thing to do. That he didn’t really want the baby that she was desperately trying to keep. That she didn’t expect him to stay there with her. To not make promises he couldn’t keep.
But she couldn’t make herself say the words to let him go. For as long as she had him, she wanted Travis with her. When he brushed a kiss across her knuckles, she savored the contact, holding it close.
The door opened again and this time, the doctor stepped inside. Instinctively, she grabbed at Travis’s hand and held on tight. The doctor walked to the end of Julie’s bed, glanced at the chart in his hand then looked up at her and smiled. “Your baby’s fine, Mrs. King.”
Julie released a breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding. Relief and gratitude swept through her in such an amazing rush of sensation, she was nearly blinded by her own tears. She had to blink them away to see the doctor clearly. “You’re sure?”
“Absolutely. That’s a tough kid you’ve got there,” the doctor told her. “Stubborn and determined to be born.”
“Naturally he’s stubborn,” Travis said, grinning like a loon. “He’s a King.”
“He or she is definitely healthy, so I don’t want you worried,” the doctor said, gazing meaningfully at Julie. He glanced at her chart again as if reassuring himself. “Doctor’s orders.”
“Thank you.” She was still holding on to Travis’s hand, still drawing strength from him, still relishing the touch of his hand on hers.
“Yes,” Travis added. “Thank you. But what about my wife? How is Julie? Is she going to be all right?”
“Your wife is fine, Mr. King.” The doctor tucked her chart under his left arm and smiled benevolently. “A little bruised, a little battered and I’ll want her to take it easy for a couple of weeks…but she’s going to be fine.”
Travis dropped Julie’s hand, jumped up, pumped the doctor’s hand like a wildman and said, “Thank you. I’ll see to it that she rests.”
Julie watched him as Travis walked the doctor to the door. When it was closed and they were alone again, Julie realized that she’d never known a person could be both happy and sad at the same time. She was grateful for the safety of her baby, but now she knew she would remain trapped in a marriage with a man who didn’t love her.
Her heart broke a little as she imagined the long empty years ahead of them. And she wondered how long it would be before her soul, denied love, beg
an to die a little each day.
Travis came to her side and gently eased himself down onto the edge of the bed. He smoothed her tangled hair back from her face and leaned down to tenderly touch her lips with his. When he sat back again, he looked into her eyes and said softly, “I’ve never been so scared in my life. Hell, I didn’t know it was possible to be that scared.”
Touched, Julie patted his hand. “I know you were worried, Travis. So was I. But thank heaven, the baby’s fine. You heard the doctor.”
“I’m not talking about the baby.”
She blinked up at him as if trying to understand. “But—”
“It’s you Julie. You I was terrified for.” He took a breath, blew it out and stood up abruptly as if he knew he was too tense to sit quietly on the edge of her bed. Stalking off a few steps, he whirled around to look at her, silhouetted by the golden lamplight. “Do you know what it was like to feel that damned elevator fall? To hear you scream? To look across the floor of the car and see you laying there in obvious pain? To be helpless? ”
Before she could speak, he held one hand up for her silence, then stabbed that hand through his hair. Shaking his head, he said, “Of course you don’t. I never thought I could feel so much. Fear so much. Always in my life, I’ve charted my own course. Been in charge of my own destiny. Things happen when I want them to happen.”
“Travis—”
He stared into her eyes as if willing her to believe every word he said. “Suddenly, there was nothing I could do. Everything was taken out of my hands. You were hurt and I couldn’t help you. I could hardly breathe until I touched you. Couldn’t think until you opened your eyes and looked at me. Couldn’t live until I knew you were alive.”
A bubble of hope began to swell in Julie’s chest, warming her through, filling her with the kind of wonder a child found on Christmas morning.
“My own heart stopped, Julie,” he said, his words coming fast and furious in a deep whisper that shook her to her core because they were so obviously torn from his soul. He slapped one hand to his chest. “I felt it. The world stopped until you looked at me. Until I could wrap my arms around you and feel your warmth.”
Marrying for King's Millions Page 14