by Crowe, Liz
By the end of the afternoon, the small boats everyone had made to memorialize Blake were disappearing along the horizon. He’d set bonfires, and brought out the Blake’s Brew for toasts. Katie was sitting on Rob’s lap, her head on his shoulder, and they seemed to be talking, finally.
He looked around and saw Sara huddled with her parents. Her mother was dry-eyed for a change, and Matthew had his arms around them both. Ella and Adam had the boys up at the house, and were feeding and, one assumed, staving off the usual state of World War Three that existed between them. Lila was sitting across from Suzanne holding her hands and talking. Both women had tears on their cheeks, but they were laughing. Mo stood alone, hand over her eyes, gazing out as the tiny rafts became random blinking lights against the velvety night sky.
He looked up and saw a new person at the top of the steps. A male figure, tall, was all he could make out in the growing gloom. He realized who it was the second he took a step down. “Jack,” Rafe shook his hand once he made it down to the deck. “Where is…?”
Jack pointed down where Mo now sat on the sand, knees tucked up under her chin. “I’m going to fix this,” Rafe said to him.
“What about,” Jack started.
“Ella was the one who called me and invited me out. Insisted on it actually telling me if I didn’t come and start making her mother smile again she would quit the team.”
“She likes that threat,” Jack smiled at the man.
“It works. So, here I am.”
“Go,” Jack said, pointing again. “Make her smile.”
“I’m sorry, Uncle Rob,” Katie snuggled into his chest. Rob sighed with contentment.
“No, I’m sorry Katie. I should have talked to you more. But I….”
“You were too sad about Uncle Blake. I know. I was being selfish.”
“No, you were being honest about your feelings, and I get it. Like I said, I was mad at me too, for a long time.” He looked over and saw Lila talking with Suzanne. She glanced up and blew him a kiss.
“Are you going to marry her?” Katie asked.
“If she will say yes I am.” He said, running his hand down Katie’s long brown hair.
“She will, Uncle Rob. Me and Maddie will make sure she does. Maddie’s excited about another little brother, too.”
He listened to the soothing familiar sounds of her chatter, not even bothering to correct her that it could be a sister. It reminded him of Blake, and the time they had with her as a baby, a toddler and then as a little girl. And instead of making him want to bend over double with the pain of his loss, it made him smile with the memory.
“Hey,” he said, when Lila put her hand on his shoulder. Katie shifted and climbed off, giving Lila a huge hug before running towards her grandfather. “Come. Sit with me.”
She slid into his lap, her small frame fitting perfectly into his. He kissed her once, softly, tasting her tears. “It’s okay now. He’s at peace.” She nodded, and tucked her head under his chin and they sat, quietly listening to the muted conversation around them.
“I hope they can work it out,” he pointed towards the tall male figure that walked over to where Maureen sat. “She needs him I think. He’s good for her. An old soul.”
Lila nodded, kissed his neck, making him shiver. “I will marry you Robert.”
He looked up at the black sky full of twinkling pinpricks of light. “Goodbye, my love,” he thought. Then looked down at Lila. “Good.” He said. “Let’s make it happen soon, before you change your mind,” he said resting his hand on the bump under her shirt.
Rafe kicked his sandals off and let the soft Lake Michigan beach sand cool his feet as he made his slow way over to her. Still reliving the phone call he got from Ella, where she came just shy of insubordination as far as he was concerned, telling him to get his “god damned ass to Manistee and to her mother so she could smile again” he dropped down beside her. That order, coming on the heels of Jack’s reminder that he was being a shithead, broke through all the extraneous clutter he still harbored after his resolution to break it off. He propped his elbows on his knees and stared into the lake.
She didn’t even flinch. “Hey,” she said, not looking up.
He stuck his toes into the water and stayed quiet. After about five minutes she leaned into him, and he put his arm around her. She gripped his thigh. His hand found her face, and their lips met. At that moment, they had no complications, no guilt, nothing but the pure light of need. She grasped his hair, tugging it free of the leather tie, and he cupped her breast as her hand made its way up his leg. But he broke away, cradling her face in his hands, brushing at the tears with his thumbs.
“I hate to see you unhappy.”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry.”
“No,” he stopped her with a soft kiss. “No one is sorry. We are together now, and I am going to make sure we stay that way.”
“But,” she started to pull away but he held her tight, close to his side.
“Ella called me today. Told me to get out here, be with you, and make you smile again.”
Maureen put her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook with sobs, and he let her have the moment. He had no frame of reference for her loss, nor the loss being mourned here by all these people. But he respected it and had no intention of replacing her late husband. They had a special bond, young lovers, and young parents of twins.
“He died, right in front of me. I was h-h-hholding his hand.” She shivered. “I was screaming, yelling at them to move the car, to let him go. He was fine…kept talking to me for about thirty minutes. But they wouldn’t. I know why now, but remember being so fucking angry. I couldn’t understand it. He finally just stopped talking and laid his head on the hood of the car, closed his eyes like he was s-s-s-sleeping.” Rafe rubbed her neck and listened his heart clenched with misery for her. “I woke up in the hospital. I’d been asleep for two days from the sedative they used to make me let go of his hand.” She looked up at him, her blue eyes swimming with tears. “I will never forget him.”
“Good.” He said and pulled her close again. “If you did, I’d worry about you. All I want…,” he tilted her chin around to face him. “all I ask, is that we make new memories together.”
“You are amazingly perfect.” She lifted her face to accept his kiss.
He stopped, thumbing her chin and making her meet his gaze. “I’m hardly that Maureen. We will have our difficulties. But, I will be damned if I let you go again. End of discussion…for now.” He slanted his lips over her, parted her lips with his tongue and eased her back onto the soft sand, sighing with relief when she responded, threading her fingers in his hair and arching up into his touch.
“Grandpa.” Matthew Thornton looked up from his careful study of the horizon trying to fight his way out of the numb cocoon he’d been encased in all day. Beth needed him, Sara needed him and now, this gorgeous granddaughter had apparently latched onto him in the months since Blake’s death in a way he treasured, despite the reason for it.
“Yes, my love,” he held out his arms and she climbed into his lap. He kissed her hair, let her cry a little more. There had been enough tears shed today to fill a dry riverbed. But Beth seemed to be rallying, now that they’d hit the two-year mark. And, since they’d relocated back to Ann Arbor, she truly did have some light in her eyes again, mainly when she was holding her grandson or making cookies with Katie.
“Can we go fishing tomorrow?” She sniffled into his shirt, already wrinkled from earlier tears.
“Sure, honey. Let’s do it. Should we do it right? Leave really early so the fish are biting or is this just a sit in the boat and hang out kind of thing?”
“Early.” She insisted, sitting up, her green eyes piercing him right in the gut. Everyone he loved had those eyes, including the son he’d lost. “And just you and me, okay?”
He pulled her back to him, patted her hair. “Sure.”
“Hey, Dad?” Sara stepped into his line of vision and sat in the empt
y low-slung Adirondack chair next to him. He held out his hand and she took it. “I think we found you guys a place. You want a condo right? On the golf course?”
“Sure, whatever.”
“Well, we’ve got it lined up I think, in Stonebridge. Just under four hundred, plenty of room with a finished basement.”
“Yay!” Katie declared, wrapping her arms around his neck. His heart pounded. He was so lucky especially when he realized how he nearly threw all of this away with two hands, and between the legs of too many women to count in the early years of his marriage. The presence of Gabe made him feel even more blessed because he considered that little boy as much a member of his family as his other grandkids. He was a part of Blake, no matter what. He loved the kid’s serious manner, even as a toddler. The way he took no shit off Brandis, who was a class-A shit giver—Matthew should know, being one himself.
“That’s right,” he said into his granddaughter’s outdoorsy-smelling hair. “A place for you and Brandis and Gabe to come every weekend if you guys want. Maddie, too. And you know I make a killer Belgian waffle breakfast.”
Sara looked at him. “You sure have taken to the Grandpa thing well.”
“So will he,” he nodded to her husband who sat, staring into the fire. “Someday.”
“I know. He’s already working the good dad angle.”
Matthew smiled into the dark night. “I figured he would.”
“I’m glad you guys are back,” Sara said after a few minutes of easy silence.
“Me, too,” Beth said putting her hands on his shoulders. He held onto Sara’s hand, touched his wife’s and closed his eyes as Katie’s breathing settled into a sleep pattern against his chest.
“Thank you,” he whispered, kissing Beth’s hand. The things he’d thanked her for since catching himself and realizing what he had all those years ago had been myriad. She knew what they were.
“You’re welcome.” She said, leaning down to press her lips to his cheek.
Chapter Twenty-Six
When Lila took her first step onto the white rug that seemed to flow like a river between the rows of chairs her knees nearly gave out. But she took another, then another, and another. She walked alone, because she wanted to. She needed to. The baby gave a tiny fluttery kick, making her smile. When she locked eyes with him—Robert, her husband after today her heart pounded in her ears. After almost a year of joy as three, then two years of nearly complete misery as two plus a baby, all she saw now was him, his deep brown eyes, bright yellow hair, grown long just as she liked it, over the collar of his crisp white shirt.
Jack was next to him, his smile nearly as wide as his friend’s. Suddenly, there she was, exchanging vows, simple rings and a kiss so intense it nearly took her breath away. And then there was clapping, and the party on the lawn, the small band, the tent, the music all flowing around her. By nine p.m., she was dead on her feet. But saw him, dancing with Maddie, and then afterwards holding Gabe while the boy drifted off to sleep. She put her feet up and groaned. A huge glass of water appeared on the table in front of her, as Sara, Mo, Suzanne, and Julie dropped into the chairs around the table. Julie held up her beer bottle. “To marriage,” she said. The rest of them clinked glassware.
“To the wedding night,” Sara declared, and they did it again.
Lila rolled her eyes, and shifted, already feeling far too unwieldy to be sexy. But she caught Rob’s eye then, somehow sensing his gaze, and the look he sent her way made her positively wet between the thighs. How did he do that? She felt her face flush.
“So,” she leaned into Suzanne on her right. “Thanks for the pep talk earlier.”
The other woman smiled and patted her hand. “No problem. I won’t let anyone make the same mistake I did once.”
Craig appeared behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders. She leaned back into him.
“Next wedding?” Sara nodded towards him, sipping her wine.
“Maybe.” Craig said the same second as Suzanne.
“God, how cute. I may throw up,” Julie declared finishing her beer and standing, a little wobbly on her feet. Lila looked at Sara, who stood and guided Julie over towards Evan.
Lila stretched her feet out in front of her. “What’s your date?” She asked Suzanne.
“October twentieth. I’ve already scheduled it.” Craig put Suzanne’s knuckles to his lips. “She’ll have a nice, uncomplicated C-section.”
“And the wedding?” She kept her eyes on Suzanne’s. The woman looked away.
“Soon,” she said, looking over at Craig. “I promise.”
“So what’s all this I hear about a Cooking Channel show?” Craig said, taking a seat and pulling Suzanne over to his lap.
“Yeah, Lila,” Jack joined to group as the party started to quiet down around them. “Spill it.”
She shrugged. “A local PR agency owner is a huge fan and regular at The Local. He was sitting at the bar one day when Rob went on one of his classic asshole-ripping rants back in the kitchen. It’s funny, as long as you aren’t the one getting ripped. We laughed it off but he came by the next day with a proposal he wanted to send to the Cooking Channel people. Something about ‘the brewer slash cook slash miracle worker slash jerk’.”
“Only way better looking,” Rob joined them with Gabe draped over his shoulder sound asleep. Lila smiled up at him and took the boy from his arms. He handed her a fresh glass of water then pulled a chair over next to her, leaning in to kiss her cheek. He grabbed Jack’s beer bottle and downed it.
“Hey, dude, there’s more and if not I know where we can get some.” Jack protested. “So, you’re out in LA this week, meeting an agent, opening a bank account where they can put all your money when you make it big?”
Rob laughed, and draped a hand around the back of Lila’s chair. His finger traced a line from her neck to her bare shoulder. She shifted Gabe to her other arm, surprised at how much her body as reacted to his light touch. She glanced over and met his deep brown gaze. He winked slowly, and then leaned in to her ear. “Wedding night time. Let’s blow this pop stand.” She leaned into him, shutting her eyes and thanking god she decided to say yes.
“Nope, I’m all set.” Rob stood. “Time to take my lovely bride to our hotel. Who’s got kid duty tonight?”
Sara raised her hand and finished her wine. “We do,” she pointed to Gabe. Jack grabbed the floppy tow-headed toddler from his mother’s lap. “We have him all week, with Maddie. Go forth and have honeymoon time.”
“Let’s go little, Rob. Your nemesis awaits you over there in the portable crib.” Jack said, smiling at his friend.
The ride to their overnight hotel was short, but Lila sensed herself fading. It had been a long day, and she felt weighed down with the pregnancy already. Rob held her close. They were quiet all the way up to the suite. She stopped outside the door, suddenly frozen, a combination of sadness and pain gripping her chest. Rob tossed her bag inside. Their suitcases for the week-long west coast vacation were already in the room. He let her stand, running his hands down her bare arms.
She shivered and tried hard not to cry then decided not to fight it. She turned and buried her face in Rob’s chest. “Shh…my love,” he whispered, but his voice was hoarse, too. She looked up at him. “Oh, Lila, we won’t ever forget him. Stop trying.” He picked her up in one quick motion and carried her into the room. “It’s okay.” He kissed her, laying her back on the giant bed. And she let herself be loved, unconditionally, by her husband.
Rob held her, kissed her, soothed her, running his hands down the curves of her newly lush breasts, the sexy swell of her belly. She grabbed his hair, and kissed him back with an urgency he hadn’t felt from her in a while. “I need you,” she whispered, her voice breathy. She pushed him back on the bed, pulled his shirt off with no concern for the buttons that went all over the room. He smiled, let her take charge, loving the feel of her small hands all over him, fisting his cock.
“I’m all yours,” he said, lying back
and tugging her face down to his as she straddled his hips. “Ah, yeah, baby that’s it.”
She shifted and took all of him into her, propping one hand on his torso and other on his thigh. Rocking slowly against him, gripping him tight, she never broke eye contact. He pulled her down, sucked one of her full nipples between his lips and tried not to come too fast. He’d been waiting for this moment a long time. And, although Blake had been on his mind all day, it wasn’t an unpleasant memory—not anymore. This was what he wanted. He released her nipple, licked his way up her neck and found her lips. “Come for me Lila. I need to feel you.”
She groaned and arched her back then pressed back down against him. He felt the clutch of her pre-orgasmic spasm, smelled her, tasted her and groaned when he joined her.
She slipped off him and nestled into the crook of his arm, their breathing slowing and their bodies cooling. “Damn,” he said. “Sorry.”
“For what?” She asked trailing her fingers along his chest.
“Knee-jerk ejaculation?” He groaned as his brain started to fuzz over with a familiar sleepiness.
“Hmph, I’m good.” She said. “For now.”
“Hardly grounds for divorce, I’d say.” She giggled and they both slid into a contented rest.
The jangle of his phone woke him. He sat up, confused about where he was. He grabbed it, noted it was already ten a.m., and that the call was from the west coast. He patted Lila’s hip. “Honey, hit the shower, we’ve got an hour before we need to go to the airport. Hello?” He climbed out of the bed and watched the lovely sway of his wife’s bare ass as she made her way into the bathroom and then had the surreal conversation with a woman who wanted to represent him for the Cooking Channel pitch. She had arranged all their travel, first class accommodations and top shelf itinerary full of amazing restaurants and studio tours. How the hell had he gotten here anyway? The phone beeped in his ear, indicating another call.
“Okay, Vicky, I’m gonna let you go. We’ll see you later today. Need to take another call.”