by Barbara Park
But my feet would not stop bouncing!
That's how come Mr. Scary finally gave up on me. And he held my hand. And both of us led Room One to the gift shop!
I zoomed in the door as fast as I could.
Then I ran straight to Table Five.
But wait till you hear this!
There was only one Squeez-a-Burp left!
I did a gasp at that situation.
Then I quick grabbed it!
And I hid it in my sweater.
And I zoomed to the gift-shop lady speedy fast.
“Quick! Hurry! Put it in a bag,” I whispered. “I don't want people to see me buying this. Or they might call me a shellfish.”
The gift lady looked odd at me.
Then I handed her my money.
And she put the burp in a bag.
And no one even saw!
I hid the bag in my sweater pocket.
Then I walked real calm to Table One. And I picked out five sets of tattoos.
And guess what?
Everyone in my family got their own special kind! 'Cause Grampa Miller got dinosaurs. And Mother got dragons. And Daddy got pirates. And Ollie got kitty cats. And my grandma Helen Miller got the nice variety of swamp animals.
“She will love these things,” I said. “There's a swamp animal to match every occasion.”
After that, I skipped to the gift lady. And I gave her the rest of my money.
She put them in my same bag.
I smiled when I looked in there.
“These are the bestest gifts I ever bought,” I told her.
The gift lady nodded. “Yes,” she said. “Tattoos and a belch. Your family will be delighted.”
I did a happy giggle.
Then I ran to the door of the gift shop. And I lined up to go back to Room One.
“I'm all done, people! I'm all done with my shopping!” I called out.
May walked by me. “This isn't a race, Junie Jones,” she said.
I made a face at her. Then I sat down on the floor. And I waited and waited and waited.
Room One is the slowest shoppers you ever saw.
Then … finally … Mr. Scary said it is time to go back to our room. And so everyone lined up behind me. And I led them back.
All of us were buzzing very much. 'Cause after lunch would come the party, of course! And the party meant HA! WE GET OUR SECRET SANTA GIFTS!
Mr. Scary hurried to the back of the room.
“Boys and girls, all of the paper sacks you decorated yesterday are lined up here on the back table,” he said. “When I call your name, you will walk back here, and I'll help you find the right bag, okay? Then you'll secretly drop your Secret Santa gift inside and walk back to your desk.”
He smiled. “We don't have much time. So we've got to be orderly,” he said. “The rest of you will stay busy writing or drawing in your journals. And remember … no peeking!”
He called Lucille's name first.
She skipped to the front of the room. And did a twirl.
“This is just in case anyone missed seeing my expensive party dress today,” she said.
Then she skipped to the back of the room with her gift-shop bag.
I looked over at May. She was getting out her journal and not paying attention to me.
Very sneaky, I reached my hand in my backpack. And I pulled out the baggie with her coal inside.
Then I bent over very secret—and I dropped the coal in my gift-shop bag.
The plastic made a crinkle sound.
May turned her head to see.
I smiled.
She was too late.
The coal was ready to go.
10
Pressure
Just then, I felt a poke.
It was May.
“Are you getting excited, Junie Jones? I'm getting excited,” she said.
Lennie heard her.
“Me too,” he said. “I'm getting excited, too.”
Herb and José both nodded their heads.
“Me too,” they said together.
May squirmed and bounced around in her seat.
She was acting like a regular kid.
“Having a Secret Santa makes you feel like you have a best friend,” she said very giggling. “Right, Lennie? Huh? It makes you feel like you have a best friend, doesn't it?”
Lennie looked funny at her.
“But I do have a best friend, May,” he said. “My best friend is José.”
José smiled. “Back at'cha, Len,” he said.
Herb pointed at me. “And my best friend is Junie B.,” he said.
I poked him very fun. “And my bestest friend is y-o-u, Herbert!”
Just then, May stopped bouncing and squirming. And her face lost all its happy.
“Oh,” she said real soft. “Right.”
Her shoulders slumped a little bit.
“Well, anyway … that's what it makes me feel like,” she said. “Having a Secret Santa makes me feel like I have a best friend, too.”
After that, all of us sat there very still.
The mood did not feel happy anymore.
Very slow, Lennie and José turned back around in their chairs.
Me and Herb turned around, too.
We didn't talk again. We just sat there and waited for Mr. Scary to call our names.
Finally, he called José … and then Lennie.
May started to get excited again.
I heard her whispering to herself. “It's almost my turn! It's almost my turn! It's almost my turn!”
Just then, Lennie came back from the gift table. And May sprang right up.
“Me! Me! It's time for me!” she hollered.
Then she grabbed her gift bag. And she ran right back to Mr. Scary.
Pretty soon, it would be my turn, too.
I picked up my gift-shop bag, and I peeked at the coal.
My stomach felt a little bit sickish at the sight of it.
I wonder if Santa's stomach feels sickish before he gives children coal?
May skipped back to her chair. And she started singing “Frosty the Snowman.”
I closed my ears. And I tried not to hear her being happy.
Finally, Mr. Scary called my name.
“Junie B.?” he said.
My heart pounded real hard.
I picked up my gift bag and walked to the back table.
Mr. Scary winked at me.
“Do you need any help?” he asked.
I shook my head real fast. “No,” I said. “No help! No, thank you. No help, Mr. Scary. I can do this all by myself.”
My hands felt sweatish and clammish.
I wiped them on my skirt.
Then I waited very patient for my teacher to walk away.
After he was gone, I picked up May's gift sack. And I held it in my hand.
It was the beautifulest sack on the table.
It was covered with shiny gold stars and sparkly red glitter. Plus also, there were beautiful green bows all over the sides.
I did a gulp.
I wondered how it would look with the black coal inside it.
I wondered if May would be sad when she saw it.
I did another gulp.
I wondered if she would stop singing “Frosty.”
Just then, I heard my name again.
“Junie B.?” said Mr. Scary. “Are you sure you don't need any help back there?”
Then oh no! Oh no!
Before I could even answer, I heard his feet!
He was coming back to help me!
I felt pressure in my head.
There was no time left!
And so, boom!
I did it!
I grabbed May's present out of my gift bag! And I dropped it right in her sack!
Then I hurried back to my desk speedy fast. And I plopped down in my seat.
I took some deep breaths.
It was over.
And that was that.
The end.
May's Big Surprise
Room One went to lunch.
I did not eat my sandwich.
Also, I did not eat my carrot sticks.
'Cause how can I even swallow stuff when my stomach still feels sickish?
I kept thinking and thinking about what I did.
Only it didn't even matter anymore.
'Cause now it was too late.
After we got back from lunch, Mr. Scary put on a Santa hat. And he passed out cake and cookies and punch. Plus also, he gave everyone a candy cane.
After that, he went back to our gift sacks. And he folded their tops shut.
“Okay, everyone! This is the moment we've all been waiting for! Ready for me to deliver the Secret Santa gifts?” he said.
“READY!” hollered Room One.
Mr. Scary smiled. “When I give you your gift sack, please keep it on your desk,” he said. “Then—when everyone has their sack—we will open them all together.”
May jumped up and clapped.
“That is a deal, mister!” she said real silly.
Then she sat back down.
And she sang “Frosty” some more.
And all of Room One started singing with her!
Except not me.
Because I still did not feel cheery about what I did. And there was nothing I could even do about it.
Pretty soon, Mr. Scary handed May her sack.
She stood up and skipped around her desk again. She was still belting out “Frosty.”
I drummed my fingers on my desk.
“Okay, now her joy is actually getting on my nerves,” I said to just myself.
Finally, Mr. Scary gave me my gift sack, too.
“Thank you,” I said.
Only I didn't actually feel that happy. 'Cause May's gift kept staying on my mind.
As soon as all the sacks were passed out, Mr. Scary walked to the front of the room. And he beamed real big.
“Okay, everyone! When I count to three, we'll open our gifts. Ready?” he said.
“READY!” we shouted.
Mr. Scary started to count.
“One … two … three!”
Then whoosh!
All of the children pulled out their gifts at once.
Except not me, again.
And not May.
Instead, she just stared into her sack. And she sat there real frozen.
Her face had shock on it.
Lennie turned around to see what she got.
But May didn't move.
“What did you get, May?” he asked. “What's wrong? Huh? What's wrong?”
May didn't answer.
Then José turned around, too. And so did Herb. And Sheldon. And Shirley.
“What's wrong with May?” they said. “Is something wrong with May?”
May kept staying frozen.
Finally, Mr. Scary came back to her desk. And he bent down next to her.
“May? Is there a problem?” he asked real quiet.
May did a big swallow. Her eyes had a little bit of tears in them, I think.
Then, very slow, she handed him the gift sack. And he looked inside.
His mouth dropped open at that sight.
“Oh,” he said. “Oh my.”
He gave it back.
May looked up at him. “I can't believe anybody would do this,” she said real soft.
“Do what, May?” asked Sheldon.
May breathed real deep.
Then she reached into her bag. And she pulled out her gift.
Everyone gasped real loud.
They could not believe their eyeballs, I tell you!
They waited to get their breath back.
Then everybody started shouting all at once.
“THE SQUEEZ-A-BURP! THE SQUEEZ-A-BURP! SOMEONE GOT MAY THE SQUEEZ-A-BURP!”
“That thing costs a fortune!” called Shirley.
“Squeeze it!” yelled Sheldon.
“Yes! Squeeze it!” yelled the children.
May started to grin.
Then she stood up kind of slow. And she gave that thing a squeeze.
And HA!
It burped beautifully! Room One laughed their heads off. “Do it again! Do it again! Do it again!” they shouted.
And so May burped again.
And Room One laughed again.
And they kept going on and on like that.
Finally, May sat down for a second. And she fanned herself with her hand.
“I think I'm being popular,” she said very stunned.
Then she quick stood up again. And she skipped around the room. And she kept on squeezing her burp.
It felt happy to watch her, sort of.
Also, it felt hard.
'Cause I really, really wanted that toy, that's why. I wanted it real bad.
Only it didn't even belong to me now.
And it never, ever would.
My gift sack was still sitting on my desk.
I put it on my lap and looked inside.
“Crayons!” I said very surprised. “My Secret Santa bought me brand-new crayons! Who even knew that I needed these things!”
All of Room One turned around at once.
“Everyone,” they said.
I opened the box and breathed their new-crayon smell.
Then I lined them up on my desk. And I smiled real happy.
'Cause greenie was not a stubbie!
And my red's head was perfectly pointy!
I smiled even bigger.
Then I drank some punch and ate a cookie.
My stomach felt better now.
Pretty soon, May skipped back to her desk. And she fanned herself again.
“Whew! Being popular really gets you tired,” she said. “Right, Junie Jones? Right?”
I looked back and nodded.
“Right,” I said kind of quiet.
After that, May sat down. And both of us ate our cake. And we licked our candy canes.
It was very peaceful of us.
We were having goodwill, I believe.
After May finished, she wiped off her mouth with her napkin.
“Well, I'd better get back to my skipping now,” she said. “I have a lot more burping to do before the bell rings.”
She jumped up from her chair.
But instead of skipping away, she just stood there with the Squeez-a-Burp. And she smiled at me.
Then, all of a sudden, she reached across the aisle. And she put it on my desk.
“Want to try it, Junie Jones?” she said. “Want to do a burp?”
I raised my eyebrows very shocked.
“Really, May? No kidding? You would really, really let me do that?”
Then—before she could change her mind—I quick picked it up. And I squeezed that thing as loud as I could.
And WOWIE WOW WOW!
It was the biggest burp of the day!
May clapped and clapped.
“Ha! That was a good one, Junie B.!” she said. “You did good!”
The words floated inside my head.
I smiled.
I did good.
After that, May picked up her toy. And she started to skip away.
Then—WHOA! HOLD THE PHONE!
It hit me like a brick!
I jumped up, and I grabbed May's arm.
“Wait a second, May! Did you just say my B.?” I asked. “'Cause I really, really thought you said my B. just now! I'm almost positive you did, in fact!”
May tapped on her chin.
“Hmm. Really?” she asked. “I said your B.? That's funny.”
Then she did a little smile. And she skipped away.
I sat there a second.
Then my whole face got happy. Only I don't even know why. 'Cause I still really wanted that Squeez-a-Burp, I tell you! And so how come I felt so good inside?
Maybe—when I got home from school— Philip Johnny Bob would help me figure it out.
But for right now, there was only one t
hing I was really, really hoping for.
I picked up my new black crayon. And I opened my journal.
BARBARA PARK is one of today's funniest, most popular authors. Her middle-grade novels, which include Skinnybones, The Kid in the Red Jacket, My Mother Got Married (And Other Disasters), and Mick Harte Was Here, have won over forty children's book awards. Barbara holds a B.S. in education from the University of Alabama. She has two grown sons and lives with her husband, Richard, in Arizona.
DENISE BRUNKUS'S entertaining illustrations have appeared in over fifty books. She lives in Massachusetts with her husband and daughter.
Text copyright © 2005 by Barbara Park.
Illustrations copyright © 2005 by Denise Brunkus.
www.randomhouse.com/junieb
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Park, Barbara.
Jingle bells, Batman smells! (P.S. so does May.) / Barbara Park;
illustrated by Denise Brunkus.
p. cm. — (The Junie B. Jones series; #25)
“A Stepping Stone Book.”
eISBN: 978-0-307-55714-8
v3.0