by Glover, Nhys
Her eyes burned brightly then, and it was as if she looked deep into his soul. Shifting uncomfortably on his seat, he waited for some kind of response.
‘You have your wish. I am not calm anymore. I feel awash with emotions that I have no idea how to control. Julio tells me it is normal. Well, normal for what is happening. Not normal for me, or my world.’
‘What did Julio say? I haven’t met that guy yet. He’s Jane’s guy, right?’
She nodded soundlessly as she stared at him. He wished she’d just let out some of those emotions she was dealing with. It was driving him crazy, having to sit here, watching her showing so little emotion.
‘Yes, Julio is Jane’s Bonded.’
‘What did he say, Faith? Tell me, please, so I can understand, too.’
‘He said that being with Jane was like having a bandage removed from a wound. It hurts a lot, but it is necessary. All the pain comes rushing to the surface. All the pain from long ago, that you thought you had come to terms with, comes rushing to the surface again. For him, it all came back because of Jane.’
‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I’ve caused that to happen to you.’ He wanted to leave now. It was better that he got away from her now. Obviously, he’d caused her much more harm than he thought his rejection and condemnation had. He started to rise, his heart sick with guilt.
‘But he said that he now feels lighter and happier than he could ever remember being. Like every cell in his body is firing and alive. And he feels whole. Jane makes him feel whole. It was hard for him, because he had never been loved. He was a street kid in Brazil before the Plague. Life had always been about survival for him. Feeling loved hurt a lot at first.’
He sat down again. ‘I understand what that feels like – life being about survival. I get that.’
She tipped her head to the side again, as if she was trying to understand him. So he decided he owed her an explanation, what there was of one.
‘My father was an angry man. He’d come to the States thinking he was getting a new start in wonderful America, where everyone was treated like equals. But he quickly found that the same kind of prejudices existed in the New World as they had in the Old. The only work he could find was down a coal mine. And my mother… well my mother was a Prussian minor aristocrat, who married beneath her. She married a Polish labourer on her father’s land, and was disowned. My father loved her. I have no doubt that he loved her. But he also hated her for what she represented. He hated her for being better than him. And he made her pay.’
For a long time, he couldn’t go on. The memories filled his head, and they wouldn’t let go of him.
‘How did he make her pay?’ Faith asked quietly, after a long time of shared silence.
‘He hit her. He’d get drunk and hit her. I was too little to stop him. By the time I was old enough to protect her, she was dead. I think she gave up on life, and died. They called it pleurisy. Said she wasn’t strong, and that the winter had been hard. But I saw the hopelessness on her face, day in and day out. She was happy to die.’
He swallowed back the tears he could feel building in his throat.
‘Did he hit you too?’ Her voice was so soft he barely caught her words.
‘Yeah. Once she was dead, he needed another punching bag. Someone else to blame for his shit life. I was fucking terrified of him. Even after I was bigger than him, I still let him beat me, because I was too shit scared to defend myself.
‘Then, one day, I’d just had enough. Something tripped the detonator, and I exploded. I fought back. I nearly killed him. See, once the fear was gone; there was nothing to stop me. I wanted to make him pay for the life he gave my mother. For the pain he caused her. For my fear.
‘And that was the day I left to join the army. I got me a place to channel all that anger I’d let loose. Anger that I didn’t know what else to do with. And it was probably the only thing that saved me.
‘See, that’s what I’m scared of. I’ve got no outlet for that anger here… It’s the only way I know how to survive. I don’t know… what to do with it here.’
Before he realised what she was doing, Faith was on the floor in front of him, her head resting on his knees. Tentatively, he reached out and stroked her silky hair. He had missed the feel of it on his skin.
‘I don’t mean to take it out on you, Faith. You don’t deserve it, any more than my mother did. But I need an enemy I can fight. It’s what I am, it’s all I’m good for. I don’t know how to be any other way.’ He almost chocked on the tears that fought their way up.
‘There are programs here. Martial Arts has a strong component of mental and emotional self-mastery that you might benefit from.’ She spoke softly, never lifting her head from his knees, as if she was afraid of what she might see if she looked at him.
‘I’ll try anything. I don’t want to be fighting shadows, looking for the slightest reason to snap. I’ll do anything to make this work. I never thought I could have this kind of life, with someone like you. Men like me … don’t get happy ever afters.’
Faith lifted herself up on her knees, and leaned in between his legs so she could wrap her arms around his neck. Her beautiful, grey eyes were storm clouds filled with rain as they looked into his.
‘I want one of those happy ever afters with you, Lukas. Being with you makes me feel complete, for the first time in an exceptionally long life. I’m scared of the way you make me feel, but I want what Julio and Jane have found. What Cara and Jac have created for themselves. I want that with you. I know it won’t be easy. But it feels right.’
Luke leaned in and gently brushed his lips over hers. The sensation was electric. With more tenderness than he thought he possessed, he drew her long, beautiful hair back over her shoulders, away from her face. Then he cupped her face between his hands, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs.
‘Can we try the love-making again? This time I promise not to worry about clowns or clones. Just you and me.’
She smiled, so that her eyes shone silver. ‘I would love to make love with you again, Lukas. You are truly an expert in that field, too.’
‘Too?’
‘Something else you are good for?’ She reminded him of his earlier statement.
‘I guess there are more ways than one to burn off a bit of aggression.’ He smiled, as he brought her face in close, to kiss her lips again.
‘Testosterone has its benefits…’ She mumbled when they came up for breath.
‘Test…osterwhat?’ He had to ask, even though his brain was already going off line, as his senses filled with her.
‘Male hormones. More you have, the more you want to fight and have sex.’ She leaned in and kissed him more aggressively, as if to demonstrate their purpose.
‘Got my share then.’ He deepened the kiss until they both became breathless. Then Luke drew her to her feet, his lips still clamped on hers, her body still pressed to his. ‘Let’s go get comfortable, huh?’
Faith was lost. And the sensation was like being set adrift on a boat on a sundrenched ocean, rudderless, at the whim of the tides and the currents that pulled her inexorably along. She was drugged by his taste, his smell, his touch. Listening to his sexy voice growl at her sent her nerve endings into overdrive. Everything about this man overwhelmed her.
And he wanted her. All her fears about him rejecting her because of her clone were gone. He wanted her.
She led him into her bedroom, and made quick work of her tunic and shorts while she watched him do the same. His body was so beautiful: All muscle, sinew and hard, angular lines. Running her hands down his tight abs, onto his flat belly, sent her heart rate off the charts.
If she had the nerve, she would have moved lower and touched his arousal, which was hard and pulsing. But she’d lost her confidence. The way he’d reacted to her taking control the last time, had told her he didn’t like that in a woman. He liked to be the dominant partner. And she could live with that. He could only be who he was.
Her hands ran bac
k up his torso and across his well-defined pecks. He frowned. ‘What?’ he asked, catching her hands and drawing them down to his belly. He looked at her, trying to read her face.
‘What what?’ she replied, trying to look away.
‘You were going to touch me, and then you ran away like a scared rabbit. What’s that about?’ He stroked her hands with his thumbs to take the sting out of his words. ‘Don’t you want to touch me?’
She jerked her head up and met his eyes. How did he do that? No matter what path she took, it was always the wrong one.
‘You did not seem to like me taking the initiative the last time, so I… I backed off. I know your time had very clear lines about what was appropriate for nice girls and women. I do not want you to disrespect me.’
He pulled her into his arms and hugged her hard, rubbing his cheek against her hair. ‘Oh Angel, you don’t have to second guess me all the time. I did have you pigeon holed as a sweet, little innocent, and your sexual confidence surprised me, that’s all. I don’t disrespect you for it. I like it. I want you to do exactly what you want, to me.’
Listening to the low rumble of his voice with her ear pressed to his chest, sent goose bumps up her arms and a tingle down her spine. She gently pushed away from him with her hands and looked up into his eyes. They were hooded and sparking blue fire.
Very slowly she took him at his word. She brought her hands down, and wrapped her fingers around the hard length of him, and watched his face transform. Oh, yes, this was what she needed to see. Her man in her power! She had felt so helpless for so long, so needy. And now she held him in her hands, and the need was his.
She stroked him gently, listening to his harsh breath as she coaxed more sensation from him. His hands came up and tangled in her hair, dragging her face to his, and kissing her so thoroughly she wondered if his need could be any more. As his tongue trust into her mouth, she matched her hand movements to his tongue. His groan, half pain, half pleasure, had her own pulse racing.
He dragged her head back, so he could get to her neck, and then kissed and grazed his way down it until he gently bit her shoulder. She felt her legs go out from under her, and he caught her, swinging her around, so he could drop her gently onto the bed behind him.
For several long moments, he stared down at her.
‘You are so beautiful,’ he finally managed to get out, before he dropped onto the bed at her side. Then he began to take his kisses lower, until he claimed one waiting nipple. Sucking it had her arching her back to meet him. The sensation was electric. It shot from her breast to her core, and ignited what was there. Heat rolled off her like a storm, and she was so close to coming it was like teetering on the edge of a knife edge clifftop. No matter which way she leaned she would surely fall.
‘I have thought of doing this again every night and every day for the last week. You taste so good…’ He tugged at the ripe tip, and she moaned her pleasure, her hands finding him again and stroking him harder now, wanting to push them both over the edge.
‘Enough of that, little lady, or I won’t be able to hold back. And there are too many fascinating places I have to explore before this ends.’ He drew back out of her reach and kissed her lower, down her stomach, into the soft space of her pelvis, and across her maiden hair. She squirmed in delight everywhere he touched her. And the pleasure was excruciating. With a little gasp, she let herself go, let herself fall, knowing he would be there to catch her.
When the explosions of delight had finally calmed, she lay exhausted on the bed, his head pressed against her core. He was breathing her in, as if she was an exotic flower. And that was enough to send her spiralling over the edge once more.
‘Dear God, what is happening to me?’ she said with a gasp, as she came to earth once more. Luke looked up at her and smiled like the Cheshire Cat.
‘You have a hair trigger, Angel. And ain’t that just fine.’
She felt her face getting hot with embarrassment. This was so unlike her. This unpredictable, overwhelming excitement, this passionate need – it wasn’t her.
But if not her, then who? If Julio hadn’t warned her, she would have been sure she was crashing and burning. This feeling left her so out of control.
‘It is not fine. It is… frightening. I do not know myself anymore. This is not me. I do not have a hair trigger, as you put it. I …’
‘Babe,’ he interrupted her panic. ‘This is not a bad thing. This is a very good thing. Let yourself go. Let it happen. Watching you explode like the fourth of July has me so close to the edge I’m hanging on by a thread. I want in so bad; I wouldn’t last if I did. Just lay still for a minute. Let me get my shit together…’
He dropped back onto her maiden hair, his cheek rubbing against the soft curls he found there. She forced herself to calm down. It wasn’t a terrible thing, this passion. It didn’t hurt. It felt incredible. Why was she so scared of it?
Because, it felt as if she was losing herself. The person she had always been, the calm and gentle woman who saw the world as a beautiful place, was being transplanted by a volatile sex addict. That’s what she felt like. And the more he rubbed against her like that, the more she needed her next fix.
His face was buried in her curls now, and she squirmed beneath him, even though she wanted to keep still because he’d asked it of her. But her body had other ideas. She mewed softly as she undulated.
With a growl that frightened her, he sprang up and aligned their bodies. In one quick movement, he impaled her, and the sudden thrust of heat sent her over the edge again so quickly and so intensely, that she almost blacked out. He rode her then, hard and fast and she met every thrust with her own, wanting more, needing more of this wild ride. When he finally cried out, she let herself fall again, this time dropping so deeply into the electrical storm of pleasure that she did black out.
When she came back, Luke was still imbedded inside her, and he rested on his elbows, keeping the weight of his body from her. His head hung low, his nose pressed into her neck, and he was breathing hard. Running her hands over the muscular contours of his back, she felt the fine sheen of sweat slick her palms.
‘I blacked out,’ she admitted, trying not to feel aroused by the feel of his breath on her neck.
‘I do not doubt it. That was one hell of a ride. What you do to me, woman, should be illegal.’
Faith giggled at his outrageous statement. Illegal? Yes. If the other citizens of New Atlantis knew what they’d done, what they’d experienced, they would probably want to ban it. Thank goodness for soundproof walls. She was sure her cries would have been heard half way to the next precinct, otherwise.
Luke shifted off her, and she made a half-hearted effort to stop him. Losing him from inside her, made her feel empty. But he settled in with his head on her breast, his shoulder and arm curved possessively over her body. It felt almost as good.
‘I want to get involved in your mission,’ he said, stroking a length of hair that fell across her shoulder.
‘Really? That would be wonderful. We have come to a standstill with preparations. We cannot see a way forward.’ Her heart kicked up a notch as she thought about Luke on her team. He would make it work.
‘You wouldn’t think I was pushing my way in?’
She giggled. ‘You can push your way in any time you want.’
He chuckled and found her nipple with his teeth, and gently tugged on it until she squirmed.
‘No, no more. Please. I can’t feel my feet.’ She pleaded playfully.
He turned his head, so he could lie down again. ‘Don’t make offers you can’t meet, Angel.’ His chuckle filled her with joy.
‘So, what do we do? About the mission.’
She ran her fingers across the soft spike of his hair. It felt incredible, and so she did it again.
‘I will have to talk to Cara and Jac, but as Cara had mentioned it to me already, I do not think it will be an issue. I think I will take you through the VRS, and see what you think.’
&n
bsp; ‘VR what?’
‘Virtual Reality Simulation. It’s an artificial construct of the planned events based on the data we have collected thus far. I have not taken you to the Knowledge Centre yet. We have the most realistic recreations of the past, holographically displayed there.’
‘Is that what Jane was talking about taking me to? She said I could go into a room that would make me feel as if I was in the Twenty First Century. Before the Dark Age.’
‘Oh, Jane took you there…’ she couldn’t keep the disappointment out of her voice. She had wanted to be the one to show him the wonders of that centre. But then, she’d lost that role in his life, hadn’t she.
‘We’d just got there when I asked about you, and she said you were sad and blamed yourself for failing. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to see you. So, no, she didn’t get to show me the Centre. Can you feel your toes yet?’ He shifted down her body, so he could play with her toes. It tickled, and she screamed as she tried to get away from him.
Luke held her down as he tickled the bottoms of her feet. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t squirm away from him. He was everywhere, and extremely heavy, and she was laughing so much she could barely breathe.
‘Stop, stop, I can’t breathe!’ she pleaded.
He stopped and came back up to lie at her side. ‘So shower and back to the Knowledge Centre. Is that where I can get this martial arts program?’
‘Yes. We can do both, if you like. The download only takes about ten minutes. Of course, then you have to use it. That will take a lot of hours. But I am sure you will enjoy the physical, as well as the mental, aspects of the training.’
‘So, let’s get a shower and get going, huh? I seem to have more energy than I’ve had for weeks.’
Faith groaned and pulled the pillow over her head. He wrestled it out of her hands, as they laughed. ‘Give it up gorgeous, or I’ll find another way to use up some of this energy. And this time you won’t be able to feel your legs, not just your feet.’