“I don’t care about any of that.” Sue spoke earnestly. “I don’t judge people. I just want to meet her.”
“Well, it’s not going to happen.” There was a pained expression on Zeke’s face.
Sue swallowed hard and turned to look out the window. Quietly, she asked, “Are you ashamed of me?”
Zeke immediately pulled her into an embrace. “Oh, honey, no!” He stroked her hair with a gentle touch. “I’m ashamed of her. It hurts me to talk about it. Can’t we just drop the subject?”
Sue’s heart went soft at the affectionate name and the vulnerability in his voice. “Of course we can.” She tipped her face upward for a kiss, but he only brushed her forehead with his lips. Her heart, soaring seconds ago, fell at the unfulfilling touch of his mouth against her skin.
She had wanted so badly to meet his mother to assess the level of the woman’s power over her son. Now that she’d gathered the courage to bring it up, Zeke refused to introduce them. It seemed she would have to accept the situation, no matter how much it frustrated her.
She hid her feelings and decided she’d have to find happiness in just being near him, looking into his eyes, and listening to his voice. She told herself it was enough, but deep inside she hungered for more. She hoped their relationship would move to the next level. She hoped there was a next level.
‘Hard’ Work
The woman who demanded so much of Zeke’s time was, in fact, not his mother. Her name was Edwina Harrington, a wealthy socialite with a penchant for young men. Often while Sue pined for him in her bedroom across town, Zeke was busy between the thighs of Mrs. Harrington. Being a man with voracious appetites, he could not maintain any kind of celibacy for long.
Zeke smiled at the thought of Sue’s devotion to him. She was his newest project, and he was bringing her along slowly, working her, finessing her. To what eventual end, he hadn’t yet decided, but he knew potential when he saw it.
One thing was for sure, though; Sue was ripe for a hard fall, a sweet apple at the height of savor, burgeoning with readiness. The invisible bouquet of her eagerness and inexperience was a pheromone, advertising her condition as clearly as a neon sign.
In the meantime, Mrs. Harrington provided a roof over his head, a miserly allowance, and an outlet for his cravings. She didn’t care what he did as long as he was available when she wanted him. The arrangement suited him at this time.
The day was already warming when he bounded down the stairs, grabbed a banana from the kitchen, and peeled it as he strolled to his van in the driveway.
Mrs. Harrington called to him from her rose garden. “Ezekiel. Aren’t you off at noon today?”
“Yes ma’am,” he said around a mouthful of fruit. “But, I have something to do.”
“Something? Or someone?” She arched an eyebrow.
Zeke paused, aggravated, refusing to answer. She stripped the gloves from her hands and tucked them into her pocket. She lifted a basket filled with roses and propped it on her hip. “Cancel whatever you had planned. I need you here this afternoon.”
“Yes, mother,” Zeke mumbled under his breath.
“Excuse me?” Mrs. Harrington stared hard at him.
“I said, that’s fine. I’ll be here.”
“Good.” She smiled with superiority and turned to enter the house.
Zeke glared at her retreating back and defiantly tossed the banana peel into the shrubs before climbing into his van. He’d have to cancel his lunch date with Sue.
As he backed out of the drive, he hoped an evening event wasn’t on the agenda. Mrs. Harrington enjoyed showing Zeke off at the country club and would dress him for the various occasions in clothes he never would have chosen nor been able to afford. He was, at best, a temporary pet for the wealthy widow.
A clear blue sky stretched overhead, and the sounds of summer filled the air. A lawnmower growled its way across a yard, kids played ball in the park, and birds tweeted happily in the trees.
Zeke drove slowly to the bookstore, windows down, breathing deep of the fresh morning air. He stopped at a convenience store to buy a cappuccino, winked at the pretty clerk as he paid, and meandered back into the sunlight. Pausing, he took a moment to appreciate the day, especially the bold green color of the trees. Green like money.
When he arrived at Re-Books, Sue was waiting outside, hovering. Zeke forced down his annoyance and pasted on a smile.
“Hey, bunny. What are you doing here?”
She walked meekly toward him, a hopeful expression on her face. “I just wanted to say hi before class.”
“Well that’s really sweet of you.” He looked her up and down. “You look great today. Is that a new shirt?”
Sue blushed. “Yes, I got it yesterday. You told me purple’s your favorite color.”
Zeke slipped an arm around her waist. “Wow. Can’t believe you remembered that.”
He stared at the ground, forcing a look of regret onto his face. “Hey, I hate to do this, but I’m gonna have to change our lunch plans. Mother needs me to do some repair work around the house.”
Sue choked back her disappointment and bravely offered, “I could help.”
“Ah, Sue.” Zeke pulled his arm away and looked pointedly at his watch. “When are you going to understand that’s not possible? Maybe we can get together later.”
Sue stood awkwardly. “So you’ll call me?”
“I’m gonna be late. I gotta go.” Zeke strode to the door of the bookstore, unlocked it, and pulled it open. Over his shoulder, he called back, “Later, Sue.” Then he disappeared inside, leaving Sue standing on the sidewalk, arms hanging at her side. Tears stung her eyes, but she wiped them away and walked briskly to her car.
From inside, Zeke peered out the window and watched her reaction. He shook his head, grinned, and went to the back to clock in.
As Zeke put the open sign in the window and entered his code to gain access to the register, he reflected on his situation. He hadn’t been entirely happy with the arrangement at Mrs. Harrington’s for a while. His chief complaint was that everything had to be on her terms and at her whim. Zeke could exert no control over the old broad. She was shrewd, mature, and totally unmoved by romantic overtures. She knew what she wanted and got it. She was no fun because he couldn’t play her.
The manager called from the back room, “I’m here, Zeke. Can you give me a hand carrying some books up front?”
“Sure.” Zeke hustled to assist the man, and they worked in silence, shelving books.
The morning passed quickly. Zeke managed to pocket an extra ten dollars when a gushing woman didn’t bother to count her change, another victim of his charming smile.
Less than an hour after clocking out, Zeke lounged face up and naked beside the pool. Mrs. Harrington watched him with amusement as she massaged suntan oil onto his lower body. He felt lazy in the hot sun and glanced around at the evergreen bushes and shrubbery that gave them complete privacy. He was relaxed, basking in luxury.
Mrs. Harrington’s hand was bringing him around, when he caught a movement out of the corner of his eye. Partially obscured by the weeping willow near the corner of the house was the gardener, a dark, quiet man named Lazlo.
“Did you know Lazlo is watching?” Zeke squinted against the sun, checking Mrs. Harrington’s reaction.
She glanced over her shoulder, her hand still moving rhythmically, and noticed Lazlo in the green shadows beneath the tree.
“So he is.” Her reply was casual. Her breasts rocked slightly with the motion of her hand as she rearranged herself on the chaise so Lazlo would have a better view.
“Doesn’t he have some trimming to do or something?” Zeke stretched his lean body, thrusting upward slightly.
“I didn’t hire him for his green thumb. I was more interested in a different appendage.” Mrs. Harrington smirked. “Maybe I ought to invite him to join us. You don’t mind sharing me, do you?”
Zeke didn’t answer. He knew the question was rhetorical. There was no
doubt that she would have Lazlo when she was finished with him.
Zeke gazed at her heavy bosom, her thickening waist, and her bushy tangle of pubic hair. She was no beauty, but for an older broad, she wasn’t bad either. Of course, her body could in no way compare to his sweet young Sue with her supple limbs and slender frame.
Thinking of Sue brought him to his release, and Mrs. Harrington smiled her approval as she squeezed out the last drops. She then gestured to Lazlo who parted the willow branches and followed her obediently into the pool house.
Secret Love
“I brought you a cappuccino.” Zeke handed Sue the paper cup as she slid into the van. The warm mocha scent filled the interior of the vehicle. A hot smell on a hot day. “Ever had one of these?”
“No.” Sue frowned. She didn’t like the mocha-flavored candies her grandmother always kept in a cut glass bowl on her dining room table.
“Try it. It’s really good.”
She was touched he had brought her a drink; in fact, she was unreasonably flattered. She took a sip and instantly recoiled.
“Hot.” Patting her upper lip, she tried to hide her aversion to the beverage. She drank it slowly, not wanting to hurt his feelings.
“Do you like it?”
“Well, I’m not a big fan of mocha, but I love that you thought of me.”
He looked so disappointed; she put a smile on her face and stoically took another drink. Maybe it would grow on her.
They drove to a nearby lake and parked in a secluded spot surrounded by trees, an area not favored by people fishing or swimming because there was no easy access to the water. Gusty wind blew from the lake and whispered through the leaves around them. Swaying in the breeze, tree branches swept at the scattered clouds like giant green brooms, and the summer day enclosed them in its warm hand. Windows down, Zeke lit a cigarette and leaned back, lazy in the heat.
“Tell me about your friends.” He gazed sensuously at her through half-closed eyes.
Sue squirmed a little and thought about inventing a list of friends to impress him, but it was hard for her to lie. Keeping secrets was easy, but telling outright lies made her uncomfortable. “Well, I know a lot of people. But I guess I mainly have just one friend. Joyce.”
“Are you close?” Zeke leaned forward just a bit, as if his interest had been piqued.
“Not so much anymore. Joyce has a lot going on right now. She tutors on top of her regular class schedule.”
“You haven’t told her about me, have you?” His voice was casual, but she detected an uneasy undertone.
“No, not yet.” She felt compelled to lie, wishing she’d never mentioned Zeke to Joyce. At least she hadn’t told her much, not even his name.
“Well, don’t!” He stared at her, gaze intense. “I want your word, Sue. Don’t tell anyone about us.”
“Okay.” A lump rose in her throat. She wanted to tell. She wanted to boast. She wanted to scream it from the rooftops, walk through the mall on his arm, go to dances and movies with him like other couples. However, if it ever got back to him that she’d told, he might dump her, and the thought of that was unbearable. “I just don’t understand why us being together is a secret. What would it hurt if anyone knew?”
Zeke frowned and tossed his hair back in annoyance. “It wouldn’t hurt anything. But, Sue… Well, I hate to say it so bluntly, but it would make me wonder about your maturity level. You know what I mean?”
Sue stiffened. She didn’t want him to think of her as juvenile. “I guess.”
“You’re not some teenager who has to sit around and gossip about boys. You’re a woman and I’m a man. Our time together is no one else’s business.” His features hardened. “I mean it, Sue. It’s important to me.”
“I understand that. I won’t say anything to anybody.”
A gust of fragrant air passed through the open windows of the van and cooled her skin. She grew thoughtful as she watched Zeke exhale, smoke drifting out, carried away by the breeze. He turned to look at her, his eyes knowing and shrewd.
“No, Sue. I’m not married or in another relationship,” he said in response to her unspoken question. “I just really value my privacy.”
“It’s alright, I don’t spend that much time with Joyce anyway.”
“It does sound like she’s too busy for you. Sometimes friends lose touch with each other. Life moves on and people get caught up in it. Before you know it, you’re wondering why you ever hung around so-and-so in the first place.”
His words made her wonder. Why do I hang out with Joyce? And has she dropped me? Uncertainty swelled inside her.
“Sometimes people find out when they grow up that they really don’t have anything in common with their childhood friends anymore. Sometimes you just have to cut the ties because you’ve moved beyond them. It’s like you’re traveling in different orbits or something, and it gets harder and harder to make your orbits intersect. Pretty soon, it’s a hassle to keep forcing something when you should just let it fall away, die a natural death. I know; I’ve been there.”
In a few short sentences, Zeke had described her relationship with Joyce. Sue looked at him in amazement, impressed with his ability to pinpoint the truth and bring it into the light. She felt almost ashamed of her friendship with Joyce. Why had she hung onto a zero like her? Zeke was right. They really had little in common. And now that Sue thought about it, Joyce hadn’t dumped her; Sue had simply moved on. “You’re smart about people, Zeke.”
He shrugged. “I just see what I see. Joyce just had to let you go, that’s all. She’s grown beyond the need to have you clinging to her all the time.” He crushed his cigarette in the ashtray and turned to smile at her.
Sue felt her insides roil as the blood rushed from her face. Joyce had to let me go? I’m the loser? There was no way to hide the hurtful shock she felt and Zeke pounced on it like a lion on a kill.
“Don’t take it so hard, Susie. People let go of each other every day. It’s not a bad thing. You yourself said Joyce was a loner. She was just using you so she wouldn’t be completely alone. Now she has all the people she tutors and doesn’t need you. I say big deal. You don’t need her anyway.”
Sue struggled to keep her composure but tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. “I don’t think she dumped me. We just grew apart.”
“Let it go, bunny. Like I said, you don’t need her. You got me, don’t you?”
Sue tried to hide her pain and embarrassment. “Tell me about your friends.” She grabbed the chance to change the subject.
“Don’t have any around here,” he said simply. “They’re all back home in New York. To tell the truth, I don’t think about them much. If it’s meant to be, we’ll hook up again someday.” A faraway look came into his eyes.
Sue didn’t like the dreamy look that always came over Zeke when he talked about the city. She felt threatened by it. To distract him, she took a huge gulp of her mocha cappuccino and tried to turn her grimace into a smile. “Hey,” she said brightly. “Want to share this with me?”
“Nah, I had some already.” He stared out the window as if he’d forgotten she was there.
Sue suspected he was thinking of his old life. It hung over her like a bad diagnosis, a disease waiting in the wings to destroy her happiness. He would leave someday. She tried to ignore the looming threat and all it implied.
When Zeke took her back to her car, Sue clutched his arm. “When can I see you again?”
He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “Soon.”
She got out of the van and watched him drive away, her heart fluttering. Was he growing bored with her? Or were things still fine between them? The doubt ate at her as she got in her car to drive home.
Body and Soul
Zeke and Sue reclined on a blanket spread over a lush growth of weeds and wildflowers, looking up at mountainous white puffs of cloud drifting in the blue sky. The drone of insects and the chirping of birds provided music. A soft breeze whispered suggestively thro
ugh the trees as it gently caressed their bodies. Warm sunlight played over them as they lay beside each other, holding hands.
For being a transplant to the region, Zeke certainly knew the area well, always finding out-of-the-way places where they could be alone. This time they were in an old cemetery just outside of town. Sue hadn’t even known it existed before Zeke had taken her there. They had hidden the van behind a row of evergreens and carried their picnic lunch past the tilted tombstones into the pasture beyond. There, they hollowed out a secret room within the tall vegetation. Sue felt drugged, heady with sensory overload from the beauty of the day and the presence of Zeke by her side.
They talked quietly of everyday things, before the conversation turned to issues of money.
“The bookstore doesn’t pay for shit. But I guess it’s better than nothing until I sell some of my poems.”
“I know what you mean. I have to keep my job at the nursing home for now. It doesn’t pay much either, but at least they’re willing to work around my class schedule.” Sue sighed deeply. “I’m still looking at three more years of college.”
“College is expensive.” Zeke closed his eyes to the sun; the tiny veins in his eyelids looked so delicate her heart ached with the desire to kiss them. “We won’t have as much time together as I’d like. Besides, it’s a damn shame you have to work while you’re going to school. I think it’s hard on you.”
“I guess I wouldn’t have to work,” Sue admitted. “But I’m trying not to dip into my savings.”
“Savings?” Zeke turned on his side and propped his head in his hand.
“Sure. I’ve always saved for college.” Sue felt Zeke’s penetrating gaze and elaborated. “It’s like this. My folks had a rule while I was growing up. I always had to put half of my money in savings, unless I got it for my birthday or Christmas. But if I earned it babysitting or whatever, half went into the bank and I could spend the other half any way I wanted. It was a good idea, and I still do it. Before I got a regular job, my dad would match my deposits. And when I was born, he made automatic deposits into the account from his weekly checks, not much, but they added up. The total’s accumulated nicely over the years.”
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