by Jackson Kane
To their credit my parents only went nuclear after I told them I was pregnant. That was a two hour conversation that took ten years off the end of my life. My parents weren't Luddites, they had seen the pictures of Myles with the two women online. Any leeway they might have given him evaporated.
It didn't help that I tried to defend him through most of it. I still had such mixed feelings about the whole thing. I had trouble accepting the pictures as being real. I really felt like I knew him. Myles wasn't a bad person. He had his flaws, but this event that he went to seemed to fly in the face of everything he was trying to accomplish. I wish I knew what was going on with him.
Him? I was the one having a baby!
I pressed my palms into my forehead. This couldn't have happened at a worst time. I did the math in my head I'd be taking my final exams toward the end of my second trimester. Was it even possible to study with “baby brain”? These next few months were going to seriously suck.
I was so angry at everything! Myles had obviously moved on if he was already sleeping with other women. Thinking of him being touched by anyone else made me feel sick. It didn't matter that I dumped him, I still hated it. I didn't want to leave him, it just seemed like that was the only way to accomplish my goals.
Now I wasn't so sure it was the right decision.
It was more than just anger, the thought of giving birth all alone made me sad and afraid. How was I going to do this all by myself? I would have to move back in with my parents and lose the freedom I was so proud of. One of the happiest pre-Myles moments in my life was the day I left home.
My parents were very strict: their house, their rules. I liked not having a curfew. I liked playing my music loud and eating whatever I wanted. If I decided to go out drinking all night there was no one at my apartment to judge me. Moving back here, even if it was with a diploma, felt like I had failed.
Oh, God, what was I going to do?
A tap at the window near my headboard startled me. The wind was picking up. A small piece of ice probably dislodged from a tree and— another tap, then another.
What the hell?
I got out of bed and pushed aside the curtains. I looked out my second story window into an unnatural darkness. Usually there were diffused lights through the trees from the neighbor's house or some moonlight or something.
Then the darkness shifted and I realized I was staring directly at a person's shirt. Someone was nearly pressed up against my bedroom window.
“Hi,” the muffled voice said through the glass.
“Ahh!” I screamed and fell backward. I was freaking out that Silas had come for me or sent some sort of assassin! I needed a weapon to defend myself so I grabbed the flashlight that I kept on my nightstand.
“It's me,” Myles whispered, calmingly. He tugged down the scarf that he wore over most of his face and lit himself with his cellphone light. “I'm not going to hurt you.”
I had to read the words on his lips because all I could hear was the thunder of blood pumping in my ears. My heart strained against my ribs, threatening to explode. I struggled to my feet with a hand over my chest. I don't think I’d ever been that scared before.
As soon as I unlocked the window, Myles had it open. I shivered against the cold gust of wind that followed him. It felt arctic to me because I only wore a sleeveless shirt and flannel pants. Myles saw my discomfort and closed the window right after.
“Are you out of your mind?!” I shouted at the top of my angry whisper. “Coming in here like Batman? What is wrong with you? You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack!”
“Sorry. But knowing how your parents feel about me, I knew this was the only way I was going to get to see you.” Myles unraveled his scarf and pulled back his knitted cap.
From his cargo pants to his insulated coat to the turtleneck beneath that, Myles wore all black. The only color on him was his crisp blue eyes; they were little pools of Caribbean water. I always felt like I could escape in those eyes.
“I didn't mean to interrupt anything.”
“Interrupt?” I asked. It was nearly four in the morning. What could he possibly be interrupting besides sleep, and I wasn't getting that anyways. Myles's eyes flicked down to the weapon in my hand. My face flushed in horror when I realized I wasn't holding my flashlight.
Really, Nicole? I cursed myself and my flashlight, which still laid innocuously on the nightstand. I sprang backward like I was pulled by a wire and stuffed my veiny blue dildo beneath my pillow. I was so embarrassed.
“Or were you waiting for me?” Myles's stupid handsome face creased in a wickedly playful smile.
“No!” I blushed. My face and chest were scalding with so much embarrassed heat that it made me wish for that window to still be open. Awkwardness aside, I was still angry at him and I wasn't about to let this silliness distract me. “Don't change the subject. What the hell are you doing here?”
“I came to explain. I had to see you.” Myles's signature mischievous smile wilted into an appeal. He looked me over almost mournfully.
My God. Had he really missed me as much as I missed him?
Myles opened his mouth to continue, but the footfalls in the hallway silenced both of us. There was a knock on my bedroom door. In a panic, I pointed under the bed and Myles gracefully dropped and rolled. By the time the door cracked open Myles was fortunately gone.
“Are you alright, Nicole?” My mother asked, groggily wiping the sleep from her eyes. “I heard you scream.”
“Sorry. I was having a nightmare.” Was I really that loud? My father became a lumberjack in his sleep and sawed wood so loudly that my mother had to wear earplugs.
“Is your stomach alright?”
“Yes, I'm just a little stressed out that's all. I didn't mean to wake you. I'm alright now.” I started to close the door but Mom caught it and opened it wider.
“Let's talk for a minute, Honey.” Mom walked into my room and turned on my bedside lamp.
Crap crap crap!
She went to sit down at the head of my bed, dangerously close to my dildo, but I was able to slip by her and sit there first. With Myles hiding under my bed I couldn't deal with the added stress if her accidentally stumbling across my vibrator too.
What a surreal night.
“I want to apologize for earlier,” Mom said. She took a moment, then continued. This wasn't like Mom. She always made me feel loved, but Dad was the big softy of the two. “Your father and I came off harsher than we meant too. We know that you're going through a very difficult time right now.”
Oh, if she only knew...
“Mom, it's okay.”
“No it's not.” She frowned. “We've always been a little hard on you, but that was only because we knew that we couldn't always be there to protect you. It's a mean world out there, and we wanted you to be tough enough to survive, to thrive even. But,” Mom sighed and placed a hand on my stomach. “You're our only daughter and we want you to know that despite whatever happens we are here for you if you need us.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I didn't expect such emotion from her, and it made me tear up.
“I love you, Honey,” Mom's lips pressed together into a white line and she fought back tears of her own.
“I love you too,” I hugged her tighter than I had in years.
“Okay,” Mom wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up. “You need your rest. We'll talk more in the morning.”
I nodded as she closed the door behind her. I exhaled, trying to compose myself. Everything was crazy now, but I felt so much better knowing my parents weren't mad at me. I always knew they loved me, but it was really nice hearing it out loud every once in a while.
Myles soundlessly crawled out from under the bed. I was so lost in the moment with Mom that I briefly forgot he was still beneath the bed. Myles showing up like this reminded me of a fantasy I had growing up where the boy I had a crush on in high school would show up in the middle of the night and tap on my window.
In retrospect I'm
glad he never did, that guy turned out to be such an asshole.
“What was that you and your Mom were talking about?” Myles asked softly.
Oh shit. Of course he heard everything, he was literally a few feet away!
I thought over the conversation. Did we say anything about the baby? I was too caught up in the conversation to remember the exact words. I didn't want Myles to find out about my pregnancy by overhearing it; I wanted to be the one to tell him directly.
It was such big news that I didn't know how to even form the sentences. A worry stabbed me in the side. What if I told him and he abandoned me or wanted me to have an abortion?
“There's another reason you came home, isn't there?” his words hung ominously.
“I—” I hesitated, choking on the words. “There's something I need to tell you.”
Chapter 24
Nicole
“You brought the DeLorean?” I asked, prompting a small smile from Myles as he opened his car door for me. It was unsettling how easy it was to be happy around him, even when I was still angry.
It was better that we left the house for our talk. I didn't want to risk my parents waking up and flipping their shit about Myles being there. They were not his biggest fans right now.
“I'll be spending a few days in Chicago and wanted to drive something familiar so I had it flown in.” Myles closed my door then walked around and got in himself. He parked far enough away that my parents wouldn't hear the car start up and take off.
“If I'm Batman,” His voice was hot, liquid gold. Once we hit a main road he gave the car some serious acceleration then glanced over at me. “Wouldn't that make this the Batmobile?”
Crap, I was hoping he hadn't heard that.
My nerdy interests must have seemed childish to a cultured yet wild man like Myles. Although the more I thought about it, the more I understood why I was so hopelessly attracted to him. Billionaire, CEO Myles Quill, who was orphaned at a young age, had the blue eyes, dark hair and square jaw of a superhero. How had I not seen that before?
He was virtually Bruce Wayne.
“I think I missed my calling,” he continued, enjoying the game. “I should've taken more Karate classes when I was a kid.”
“It's not that simple,” I sighed. I tried to cover the budding smile that was betraying my anger, but it wasn't working. “You'd need a utility belt too.”
“Unnecessary belts are more your thing.” He glanced back over at me, raising all the little hairs on the back of my neck.
Hot, sticky memories of the first time he jerked me toward him while I was wearing only my thick belt. Being this close to him knowing what he used to do to me in bed started to make me sweat. I missed his strong, soft hands moving me around like I was made of paper.
My smile had spread unabashedly across my face. It was like no time at all had passed between us. I even made a move to slug him on the arm like I used to when he poked fun at me. Then I caught myself and stopped. Steamy joy had faded my features.
Time had passed.
As much as I wanted to pretend otherwise, I did leave him and he had moved on. Those pictures online were proof of that.
In truth, I wasn't angry at him; I was just disappointed and sad. What was I expecting? Just because I was having his baby didn't change anything that had happened these past few months. We weren’t together, not anymore.
Once he found out that I was pregnant nothing would ever be the same again.
Myles saw the dramatic shift in my mood and slowed the car to a stop. He pulled us slightly off the road to a vantage point that overlooked a lake. He left the car on for the heat, then gave me his undivided attention. Neither of us said anything, the night was completely still save for the engine softly humming like a purring cat.
“I'll go first,” Myles started. “I know you've seen the pictures by now of me in the Valley Chez.”
“Not just me,” I added with notes of bitterness. It was hard to face him now. He didn't owe me anything, but that didn't lessen the sting of seeing him with other women. “My parents have seen them too. Not to mention anyone else with a pulse and a computer.”
“I didn't do anything with those girls.” Myles looked at me earnestly, his eyes never left my face as he made his plea. “In the short time we've been together I've never let anyone get nearly as close as I’ve let you. I can't prove anything but I hope you know me better than that.”
I did feel like I knew him, I really did. I desperately wanted to believe him.
My jaded, cynical side reminded me that I didn't want to see the signs when Tempest was cheating on me either.
Argh! I stopped myself from going down that train of thought. Even if Myles was lying, which I didn't really believe he was, I broke up with him! We weren’t together!
I was having his baby and we weren’t together... That struck me like a falling anvil. I felt awful and immediately had to stifle tears.
“I've never come between the media and their speculation before. Nothing they've ever printed about me, whether true or not, has ever bothered me.” Myles reached for my hand. I let him take it but I couldn't look at him. “Nicole, I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks, but I needed you to know the truth. Those pictures were a set-up.”
“What do you mean a set-up?” A conspiracy? That wasn't at all what I was expecting.
“I don't know why yet, but for whatever reason Silas Murrin set the whole—” Myles paused when he saw me cringe at his old friend's name. “You know Silas, don't you?” Myles studied my face. “I meant to ask you the night I brought you to his office.”
Tears rolled down my face, there was no hiding it now.
“You do.” Myles's tone dropped like the temperature when a cold front sweeps in off the NYC Bay. He looked away, his eyes narrowed on a point in the middle distance. “Did he touch you?”
“No,” I said at length. I felt gross just thinking about it. The scary part was that he could have. “Silas broke in to my apartment. He's—”
I couldn't get the words out. I hadn't told my parents or anyone else what had happened. It was a combination of not wanting anyone to ask more questions and it being extremely embarrassing.
“He did what? Why?”
I took a deep breath. This was happening. I finally needed to lay it all on the table even it would make things worse.
“He's blackmailing me.” I bit my lip then pulled away from his grip. It would crush me if I felt him physically reject me. I clenched my hands together. Just say it, Nicole! “I used to be a stripper. That's where he knew me from.” I swallowed hard and finished my thought. “But I never did anything more than lap dance. I swear.”
Myles went silent.
I knew Myles used to be no stranger to strippers. When I researched him while being driven to his holiday party I'd seen the pictures of him in those clubs. I knew that he'd hooked up with them before meeting me. Sex was one thing but dating a stripper was something else altogether.
I never lied to Myles but I felt like I had by not telling him. He thought I was an innocent college girl when we met, would he have even invited me to his party if he knew what I had done?
I wasn't like some of the other girls. It didn't matter how much men like Silas offered me, my body wasn't for sale. I hoped that part of my life would just disappear.
Apparently I was wrong.
“I'm sorry.” My voice was barely a whisper. The weight in my heart tripled, it forced my head to slump forward. Now I couldn't look at Myles for an entirely different reason.
“What?” Myles sounded surprised. “You don't have anything to apologize for.”
“I'm not who you thought I was.” With a wary heart I looked at him. Was he serious?
“You're exactly who I thought you were, Nicole. You're kind, smart, funny and nerdy. I don't care what you used to do.” Myles managed a sharp but warm smile. “I bet you, pound-for-pound, I’ve got far more baggage than you have.”
And just like that I
felt lighter.
“I should've told you sooner.” The weight on my heart was lifted. I crashed into his arms and felt accepted again. My tears of relief dampened his neck and shoulder. I got lost in his manly scent like it was the first time. “I'm sorry for leaving the way I did.”
“Don't be,” Myles said softly. I could hear the words vibrate in his neck. I never wanted to break from this hug. This was where I belonged. He kissed me on the forehead. “I loved starting a relationship with you before, and now I get to do it all over again.”
I peeled myself back enough to see his face. Myles brushed away my tears then pressed his lips on mine. The kiss was so emotionally charged that it crackled with electricity. I'd forgotten what a thrill it was to clip his teeth against mine as our tongues explored one another.
We kissed long and passionately, the way two estranged lovers would. There was only him and I, and everything seemed to make sense again. It was a dream I never wanted to wake from. Finally we broke apart.
“I promise you that I'm going to find Silas.” Myles paused to choose his words deliberately. “And when I do I'm going to hurt him. Badly.”
I believed him. There was a hardness in Myles that I’d never seen before. It wasn't like him flipping out in front of a room full of people, this wasn't him lashing out against stresses that piled up on him. This was heavy and deadly; it was a vengeful vow.
I fully believed Myles about those pictures. Silas was far more cunning and ruthless than I thought him capable of. I hated Silas for what he was doing to me and for what he'd done to my relationship with Myles.
I wanted to see that son-of-a-bitch hurt.
“No, please don't.” I sighed, hating what I was about to say. “If you attack him. It will look terrible for your image.”
“I don't care,” Myles growled. “I am so goddamn tired of my fucking image.”
I felt for him. I really did. I couldn't imagine so many people having an opinion about how I lived my life. Even the thought of it made me angry.