by Holly Hood
Slade steps forward. “Come here.”
My feet are moving but everything feels unreal. Kidd clears his throat guitar at his side all of a sudden. “Come on. Let’s bury him the right way.”
Karsen wipes at her eyes smiling at me.
I take Slade’s hand. If I can do anything to honor my dad this is it. I swallow down the little voice wanting me to fall on my face and lose it. And I start to sing. The song about a woman taking another woman’s man, I sing his favorite song, and I sing as loud and proud as I can while Kidd strums along.
When it becomes too much and I start sobbing Slade takes over and keeps going. He squeezes my hand, belting out the lyrics until I’m back and not drowning in sadness and I sing along. I keep my eyes closed afraid of reality because it hurts more than it has in a while. Its hurts more than anything has ever hurt before.
Saying goodbye is the hardest thing I ever did and I didn’t even get to say it right. I don’t know if the hole in my chest will ever fill back up or if I can feel normal again.
I open my eyes and everyone standing in front of me has smiles on their faces. Nobody is sad, I’ve made them all happy, even Elliot and Easton.
I step forward, envelope in hand and drop my goodbye letter. It sails away from my fingertips and lands on top of the casket like I prayed it would. I blow a kiss and back away so everyone else can give their final goodbye.
Slade squeezes my shoulder. “My mother once said there are a lot of things you can destroy but love isn’t one of them.” He puts an arm around me.
24
I sit on the middle of my floor in my bedroom holding the envelope Claude gave me. I haven’t opened it yet because I have been waiting for some alone time. I ate the comfort food all the neighbors sent over and sat with my brothers for a little while and when everything seemed to be going back to normal I snuck upstairs to my old room ready to open the final thing Nona gave to me.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to leave?” Slade asks. He’s sitting on my bed and he looks exhausted. It has been a long day for all of us.
A day I could have never made it through without him.
“No. I want you here.” I slide a fingernail through the envelope and pull out a piece of paper. I read it over, and then I read it over again. I look up at Slade once I’ve read enough. “There’s no way.”
“What?” He drops down on the floor beside me and takes the paper out of my hands. “That’s a lot of money.”
“Yeah it is.” I drop back against my bed and sigh. “More money than I would ever know what to do with.”
Slade hands the letter back to me. “You can make your dreams come true just like she said she wanted in this letter.”
She always believed I could go far with my singing and dancing.
“One of them already has come true. And it didn’t take money for that to happen,” I inform him, grabbing him by the shirt and pressing my lips into his.
He touches my face. “Let’s get married.”
I raise an eyebrow and kiss him again. “What?”
“What the hell is stopping us?”
My dad and Nona are dead. That is one very apparent thing to me. The other being I didn’t expect my marriage proposal to pan out on the bedroom floor of my childhood home.
The other thing about his marriage proposal that bothers me a little is that I inherited a shit ton of money and now I am being asked to wed. I smirk.
“What?”
“Should I get a prenup?”
Slade taps me on the shoulder pushing me down on the floor. He climbs on top of me. “What an asshole.”
“I’m sorry, it just was a little out of left field.”
“My marriage proposal?”
I nod.
“We connected today, beyond anything I’ve ever imagined. It just feels right.” He leans in and kisses me.
“Everything is right when you’re with me,” I tell him. “But you don’t have to say it now because I’m devastated.”
“I’m saying it because there’s nothing else I would want to be doing other than devoting myself to you for the rest of my fucking life.”
I press a finger to his mouth. “Such dirty words for a proposal.”
He bites my finger. “Forget I said anything.”
I frown. “Slade.”
He shakes his head. “We have a lot more moments. And I see what you’re saying. I just want you to know I’m here and always plan on being here for you.”
I smile. Of course I know he’ll always be here. There’s nothing I am more confident about than that fact.
He sits up and gets serious. “There is something I want you to do for me.”
I stare up at the ceiling. “What?”
“I want you to kill Hutch. For everything he has put you through.”
I sit up, carving a hand through my hair and look at Slade. I’m not hearing things, he just said he wanted me to kill Hutch.
25
I unbuckle my seat belt and look around. “Where are we?”
“Far away from getting caught,” Kidd says hopping out of the car.
I can’t believe Karsen let him out of the house without as much as a question.
They want me to kill Hutch and I am beginning to wonder if this is really happening when I step out and find myself looking at an old barn in the middle of nowhere.
“Who started a fire?” I ask, afraid to go forward. “And I was pretty sure he would be far away from here by now.” I step through the weeds and debris.
Kidd is behind me and Slade leads the way.
“Did you really think we would just let him go after what he made you do?” Kidd says. “The guy is going to pay.”
I cross my arms, the farther we walk the more I am creeped out. I’m waiting for something to jump out of the darkness and attack me.
“What can I do? He’s supernatural.” I sigh. The thought of killing Hutch after all the pain he has made me endure in all the days I have known him doesn’t sound so bad.
“Anything you want,” Kenny says meeting up with us at the door. He waves us in. “I got guns, hammers, chainsaws, whatever you can imagine it’s here.”
I look around. Kenny moves to the center of the barn and rips the sheet off of Hutch. He’s in a chair bound at the ankles. His arms behind his back tied at the wrist.
Kenny pulls the blindfold off of his eyes. “Don’t be rude. Say hello to Hope.”
Kenny kicks the chair. Hutch lifts his head, staring me down but he doesn’t say anything.
Slade steps forward. “Whatever you want to say or do now is the time.”
I look away from Hutch. “I don’t have anything to say to him. He doesn’t deserve my words.”
Slade shakes his head.
I look at Kenny. “I thought you were just an asshole.”
He shrugs. “There is always an exception.”
That exception is me. For some reason even Kenny grew a soft spot in his heart for me. I step forward, and think about what I want to do to Hutch.
He lifts his chin and stares me down.
And I realize I have no idea how it could be possible to hurt him as much as he has hurt me. There is nothing I can do to ever make him feel anything that I have because he is soulless. He is a miserable waste of skin, he feels nothing.
I shake my head. “Just let him go.”
Everyone looks at me. Like I’m nuts.
“What do you mean let him go?” Kenny shakes his head. “This guy has fucked you over time and time again and you have a chance to end him and you’re just going to let him go?”
I shake my head. “Ending his life isn’t going to fix anything.” I look at Slade. “He got what he wanted. He can leave us alone now.”
There. Letting Hutch go makes me feel less evil. Taking justice into my own hands and torturing Hutch isn’t going to make me feel better.
“Fuck that,” Kenny says. He takes off for Hutch and throws him and the chair down. “You might not want to k
ill this asshole. But I will. For you, for your granny and for you father.” He motions for the gun. Kidd brings it over.
I shrug. “Do whatever you want to him. I just want to go home.”
Slade nods. He takes my hand and follows me to the door. A barrage of gun shots echo the night, and it doesn’t make me feel any better or worse. I’m just happy I am not a part of it.
I just want to move on.
26
It’s been almost a month since the funeral.
And I have never been so into my life and my goals than I am now.
“You’re doing a great job,” I tell my class of girls at the dance academy I am working at. “Now practice for another ten minutes and we will start on the next half.”
I wave at Slade and grab my water bottle. He pulls me into the hallway and kisses me. “I thought ballerinas wore tutus.”
I roll my eyes. “I thought you were recording in the studio, Mr. Hollywood.”
Kidd and Slade did such a good job at one of the clubs in town they were given studio time and working with a producer. It’s great for them. Big things are coming for both of them and they are even planning on bringing the rest of the family to Georgia to put the band back together.
“I brought lunch,” he tells me lifting a white bag. “And a coffee.”
I take the coffee and smile at him. “You’re really amazing do you know that?”
Slade nods in agreement. “And you spend six hours every day with ten year olds. You are more than amazing.”
I like my job, teaching young girls ballet is very fulfilling. It’s something I never imagined liking, but to instill the same passion in young girls and to show them they can do anything if they put their mind to it, it’s worth the hectic schedule.
“Most of them are seven.”
Slade isn’t listening to me. I turn around, hoping nobody wrote on the mirrors with marker again.
“Oh my god,” I say. My entire class is standing in a perfect line. Every little girl helping hold part of a sign, I shake my head as I read. “Forever. You and Me.”
I turn back around and Slade is on his knee. He takes my hand. “You’re shaking.”
“Because I never saw this coming.” I cover my mouth watching him tug the ring box from his pocket. My class of tiny ballerinas giggling behind us.
“I told you we would have more moments.” He kisses my knuckles and looks at me growing serious. “I’d do anything for you. You are my heart, you are my soul. The only thing that makes sense is you being mine for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?”
I shake my head. “Of course I will marry you.” I jump into his lap and kiss him.
He opens the ring box and I am in awe. It’s the most perfect ring I have ever seen.
“It’s a black princess cut diamond.” Slade smirks. “Karsen made sure I knew what the hell it was called. She threatened my life if I didn’t get it right.”
I can’t take my eyes off the stone. “It’s amazing.”
He lifts my chin bringing my gaze back to him and only him. “I have something else I want to ask you.”
I raise an eyebrow, touching his face. “What more could there be?”
“I want you to be the girl in our video.”
I search his eyes. “What?”
“We wrote a song, and they want to make a music video. And I want you in it.” He waits. “So what do you say?”
“I say yes. As long as I don’t have to twerk.”
Slade sighs. “Shit. So you won’t wear a grill either huh?”
I shake my head.
“No gold chains?” He kisses my forehead. “I’ll let you get back to your students.” He steps inside and gives them all a thumbs up. “She never suspected a thing. I owe you all ice cream.”
They clap and squeal for Slade. I kiss him once more and wave goodbye.
To the guy I will soon be marrying.
27
I’ve never had a professional do my makeup. I imagine it’s what the celebrities feel like.
“That eye shadow looks amazing on you,” Karsen says from her seat beside me.
I knew Karsen would be a part of the music video. She is Kidd’s fiancée. Of course she is going to be included in the video.
I turn the page of the bridal magazine I have been looking at and study myself in the mirror. “It’s not anything I would ever wear but I like it.” The black eye shadow and the dark lipstick make me feel beautiful in a different kind of way.
Not only am I a woman, I am also a witch. I am also going to be a bride.
“You really need to find a dress,” Karsen tells me. She says it every day of my life now. “If we are going to pull off a double wedding you need a dress.”
I roll my eyes. “I will find a dress. When the time is right I will know it is the one for me.” That and I have all the money I could need to buy the perfect dress when I want to.
And for once I am excited about something going on in my life. Karsen and I are getting married on the same day at the same time. To the most amazing guys we could ever ask for.
She fluffs her extensions staring at her blonde locks in the mirror. She scrunches her nose when her makeup artist starts adding red lipstick to her lips. “I hear this stuff stains.”
I shake my head at her. And once all the finishing touches are added to my hair and nails I stand up and take in the girl in the mirror.
“Holy shit,” Kidd says behind us. “I think it’s safe to say we have the hottest soon to be wives I have ever seen.”
“I look like a dominatrix cockatoo,” Karsen says blowing at the feather and leather cuffs on her wrist.
Kidd comes up from behind and wraps his arms around her.
I look around. “Where’s Slade?”
Kidd throws a thumb over his shoulder. “You know him. He’s back there reading over the lyrics.”
I smirk. He is forever trying to perfect everything he does. I follow the long hallway past the winding cords and equipment.
It’s hard to walk in the big heels I am wearing but I do my best to remain graceful and hold on to the wall for added support.
“Hope,” Someone says. But when I turn around I realize I am the alone in the hallway.
I hear my name again, crossing my arms because my arms are covered in goose bumps. And if I am not mistaken I just heard my dad’s voice.
I trip over my own feet and almost smack my face on the ground. I steady myself and stand back up. A shadowy figure slips past my sight and disappears around the corner.
I sigh, I’m not in the mood for jokes of any kind. Or to be scared to death but I follow after the shadow. When I turn the corner the aroma in the air takes me back to every day of my entire life.
I can smell Jack Daniels, my heart races and my knees shake. I kick off my shoes and chase after the shadow as it rounds another corner. I know I am supposed to be on set but I need to know I am not losing my mind. I know I saw something. I know I smell my dad’s favorite drink.
It’s a dead end. I’m staring at the parking lot through the glass doors. And it’s dark. I step a little closer searching for anything. And just when I am about to turn away and go back I see him. In the reflection, against the moonlight, I’m looking into my dad’s eyes.
I touch the glass and I swear his hand meets up with mine. I fight the tears because I don’t want to ruin my makeup but I am looking at my father. He smiles back.
“Hope,” Slade says. He’s behind me now. “I was wondering where you went.”
The only thing I see out the door is the pale beams of moonlight. He’s gone. I take my hand away and turn around. “I thought I saw something.”
He slips a hand around my waist. “What was that?”
I purse my lips following him down the hallway. I don’t know if I want to tell him I saw my dad. I just want things to be perfect.
“Nothing.” I kiss him on the cheek and hurry past him for my shoes. “Let’s get in there.”
Slade smiles,
looking me over. “You look beautiful.”
I walk up to him and grab him by his skull belt buckle. He’s even hotter than ever before. My love, decked out in all black and leather. Skulls and chains and everything that makes him not only bad ass but exactly who he is for the world to see. This is his moment. And it’s a good one for once.
I gently press my lips into his giving him a slow kiss that turns into more than it should right before shooting his music video. He grips the back of my head probably ruining my hair but I don’t care because I can never get enough of his lips.
“You’re going to need reapply that lipstick,” Slade says pressing his head against mine in agony because we can’t go any further. I wipe at his lips, focusing on his lip ring.
“And you need a wipe down.” I smirk and we attack each other again until Kidd whistles down the hallway telling us to get our shit together.
We do as he says so he doesn’t have a panic attack. I look over at Slade.
“You look like a bad ass,” I tell him. “A totally hot bad ass.”
He smirks. “Soon enough you will be Mrs. Bad ass.”
Kidd shakes his head when he spots us. “You two can never keep it in your pants.”
I allow the makeup artist to fluff my hair and apply my lipstick again. Another one hurries to clean up Slade’s mouth. He smirks at me and I hold back my own smile.
The guys climb on stage. Everything is so organized and there is someone for everything telling all of us what to do.
I move around one of the various cameras and wait to be instructed.
“This is our moment,” Karsen says. “Our first music video.”
“It’s kind of weird being the girls in the video,” I admit to her watching Kidd adjust his guitar.
“It’s kind of awesome,” she says. “We better do these things while we can.”
I make a face. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Karsen looks down and places a hand on her stomach. “It’s kind of tacky to be a video chick when you’re a mother.”