More Than Memories

by Kristen James

Softly he sat next to her and put a hand on her back. “Damn it all, I love you and I’m going to be right here with you.”

  Molly didn’t move or respond.

  “Did you hear me, Molly Anderson? I love you. I’ve loved you since the second grade and it’s grown stronger every day.”

  He felt her shake. Saw her shoulders rise and fall as she tried to gasp for breath. “Shouldn’t you say Molly Williams?”

  He almost laughed. Good old Molly. He knew better than to remind her they hadn’t legally changed her name yet. That wasn’t the point. She was Molly Avery Williams, his wife, the only woman he’d ever loved. The only woman he would ever love. Heck, the only woman he’d ever even kissed. She was it for him, all he ever needed.

  Trent leaned down on his side, his arm around her small waist, but he didn’t try to get to her talk. Wanting to comfort her, he ran his fingers through her hair, remembering all the times he’d done so.

  She cried for a long time before she turned to him and nuzzled her face into his chest.

  “Are you going to tell me what made you scream like that?” he asked.

  “Yes, but not tonight. I need to think on it a while.”

  He could live with that because he trusted her, but one question he couldn’t wait to ask. “Do you think you’re in danger from Webb?”

  “No,” she whispered. “He’s dead.”

  “The only thing keeping me alive the last four years was the thought that I might find you.” Trent broke the long silence as the daylight outside faded. He brought his face down to the crook of Molly’s neck and nestled there.

  Molly thought maybe she should stay mad about the marriage and him not telling her, but things between them were so long standing, connected, and strong. She remembered their childhood teasing and growing friendship. The awkward times in junior high as they dealt with their growing attraction. The first time they danced in the seventh grade, how she’d been the same height as him. She reached to him, thinking of their hungry kisses in high school. They’d been completely consumed by each other. She wanted to have that love again. She felt it but she also felt tentative because they’d been apart.

  “I want to go back to Ridge City, to that little pond with cattails and black birds.”

  “You miss our little town?” Trent slowly drew the back of his knuckles down the soft skin of her cheek.

  “Yeah, I do.” Verbalizing it felt good. She reached around his neck and pulled him closer to kiss him softly and then harder, asking, meeting him tongue to tongue, and that started a train in motion that didn’t have a brake.

  He mumbled at first in surprise, and when he freed his mouth, asked, “You forgive me?”

  “I’m reserving the right to be mad.” She pulled his mouth against hers again, arching to feel her body pressed to his.

  He kissed her back, hard, then pulled away. “I’m confused, Molly.”

  “You turned me down because you said I wanted to wait. Well, we’re married, and, darn it, I’m not waiting. I’ve been alone for too long.”

  He met her halfway in a frenzied kiss that brought back the memory of their wedding night in Reno. He’d gone through high school waiting for that moment, and being with her now fulfilled a lifetime of need.

  The few days they spent together after their wedding night poured into Molly’s mind. They’d forgotten the world and everything outside of each other, spending their time in bed expressing their need and love. She needed this and needed Trent, and she wasn’t too proud to admit that, at least not to herself.

  Time had played some funny tricks on her before, maybe because her amnesia kicked events out of order. Now time cycled around. This felt like their wedding night as she pulled his shirt up over his head and he pulled her clothing off. They could have those honeymoon days back, have them again. Touch, explore, and please each other.

  “I need you!” she rasped as they pulled and tugged clothes off, running their hands all over each other.

  She was suddenly in ecstasy. Nothing else mattered. Them, together, this is what her heart wanted. Her arms felt so right wrapped around him. Their bodies were made to go together. He moved slow and sweet at first as if to treasure the moment, like she was. She liked making this new memory, one that took them into the future but also connected them to their past.

  “You are worth waiting for, Molly Williams.” He kissed her and loved her and showed her how he felt. Trent filled her mind, offering a pleasant escape and amazing adventure at the same time.

  When they lay spent, wrapped up in each other, he murmured into her ear, “I love you, I love you.”

  Strands of her hair lay across her face but she couldn’t move to brush them away. She couldn’t move at all, actually, thinking about how he’d put her way up on a pedestal and expected her to be the same as before. What if she couldn’t be his old Molly?

  A minute passed before she realized he was waiting for a response. “Trent, I-” She couldn’t say it. Strange emotions held the words in. Instead, she listened to her breathing, to his, to the light wind playing against the house.

  She couldn’t believe how much she loved him either, but she felt this crazy pressure and didn’t know why. She felt so right with him but scared senseless at the same time. Had she really fixed things by regaining her memory? She’d reached the prize she’d been chasing these last four years, yet didn’t know what to do now. She couldn’t panic again. Taking a deep breath, she realized she just needed space to adjust.

  “Trent.” His name was just a breath. “I have to tell you, this was more about need than anything else.”

  “What?” His head lifted. She felt guilty at seeing the confusion in his eyes.

  “I need you, I’ll admit it, but I have so much to think about. I might still be mad at you.”

  “Funny way of showing it.”

  “Didn’t I say that before we ...?”

  He didn’t speak and she couldn’t hear him breathe. Panic squeezed her as she thought he must be mad at her.

  “Why, Mol?”

  “I’m sorry. After all this, I feel—” She didn’t have the right words to describe everything that had just ran through her head, but she said, “Unstable. I think I might say things I don’t actually mean. Caught up in the moment.”

  “I don’t think we’re in a moment.” He kept his voice quiet.

  “I want you to stay here tonight. Stay with me. I’m just saying don’t expect your old Molly back instantly.”

  “You’re scared? It’s okay.”

  She exhaled and realized she’d been holding her breath.

  In answer, he pulled her closer against him and stroked her hair as they fell asleep.

  “Dead?” Karen repeated the next morning, “And that’s all she said? So she must have regained her memory.”

  Trent and Karen stood in the kitchen by the brewing coffee pot, both needing some caffeine after a troubled night of wondering about Molly. Karen had taken the day off from work and came over bright and early.

  The pot finished and they each poured a cup. Trent sighed, rubbed his face, and went to sit on the couch in the living room. “Such a bare house. No wonder she didn’t remember anything here. Now I’m sure her parents didn’t want her to.”

  Karen sat in the recliner. “And it must have something to do with Kenneth Webb, who’s dead. It doesn’t sound good, but I’m sure she’s just upset and wanting to figure it out. She’s probably got a lot of memories to sort through.”

  A lifetime, Trent thought. Her childhood, their romance, her friendship with Alicia, and whatever she knew about her birth father. He wondered what it felt like to discover your parents had lied to you on so many different accounts. He remembered them as warm, caring people who indulged their only daughter’s many crazy whims. The description Karen had given didn’t sound anything like them.

  They both looked to the doorway as they heard soft steps on the stairs. “Hey Karen, Trent.” Molly saw their coffee and headed for the kitchen. Trent ju
mped up and told her to sit, he’d make it.

  “Just—”

  “Sugar, I know.” He knew all those little things about her, and she knew them about him. Those memories had been locked away inside her head but she’d still known. He came back with a hot cup and sat down next to her on the couch, putting an arm behind her shoulders. The dark color under her eyes said she hadn’t slept much, either.

  Karen sat quietly and patiently. Trent had a harder time waiting as he tapped on his mug. Molly sipped her coffee and said, “There’s suddenly so much in my head I don’t know where to begin. I spent all night sifting through memories, remembering new things, putting things in order, and then I finally fell asleep and dreamed about it all.”

  She paused, turning and looking up into Trent’s face. He saw a look he hadn’t seen since before she had disappeared: she knew him, knew all about him, and knew him inside and out just like he knew himself. They used to look into each other’s eyes and communicate without a word and he felt that again.

  She continued, “I thought about you the most, and I can’t believe how much time we spent together growing up. You were like another best friend to me.”

  “One that always had a crush on you.” He felt more like himself now that she remembered all the times they shared, but he saw her face darken and knew she must be thinking about the end of that summer four years ago.

  She leaned into Trent, glancing at Karen and him. “It’s worse than I feared.”

  “About your real father?” he quietly asked. Karen, though leaning forward, remained silent.

  “I didn’t know about him until he showed up in Ridge City. I don’t know if I can tell you about it.” She shuddered and had to set her coffee cup on the table because she kept shaking.

  Hesitantly, he asked, “Can you tell me how he died?”

  Pushing her eyes shut, Molly let out a breath that sounded panicked. Trent felt awful for making her think about it, but he needed to know. For a minute, the three of them sat still, like moving would disturb a pond full of her memories and send them rippling away. She pulled her knees up to her chest.

  In a whisper so quiet they could barely hear her, Molly said, “Arnold killed him.”

  Arnold killed him?

  “What?” Karen asked from across the room. Molly’s eyes opened to look at her.

  At last, Molly tried, but couldn’t look at either of them while she spoke. “I went home to get some things and see how my parents were doing. I wanted to test the waters before Trent and I shared the big news.”

  “Kenneth was there?”

  “Not at first. A man came to the door while I was in my room. I came partway down the stairs because he sounded upset, yelling to see his daughter. I thought he was crazy and had the wrong house. I didn’t think he meant me. Mom was at the front door, trying to keep him out and yelling for dad. Kenneth forced his way inside the door and pulled a gun from behind his back. I screamed, and he yelled at me to come down. Dad ran in from the backyard right then.”

  “Did he fire the gun?”

  She shook her head, but didn’t speak for another minute. “Kenneth asked if I knew him, but of course I didn’t. He went ballistic, kept yelling that Arnold wasn’t my father. He said he wanted his family back and that Arnold had stolen us away from him.” Molly’s voice broke and she turned her face into Trent’s shoulder.

  “It’s okay. It’s over now, all in the past.” Trent wasn’t sure how to comfort her, but now he realized whatever happened must have been in self-defense, and that was a relief. “Arnold maneuvered the gun away from Kenneth?”

  She shook her head, “No, Kenneth kept it, but dad had a knife. Kenneth tried to make me and my mom leave with him. When he grabbed me to pull me outside, Dad jumped up and stabbed him. Dad wrestled the gun out of his hand. Blood dripped all over the floor.” She stopped there and he understood. Looking up, he saw Karen looked awfully upset.

  “This sounds like self-defense. Arnold was just trying to save his wife and daughter,” he said to both women.

  “How did you get away from him? What happened?”

  “Kenneth didn’t let go of me; they jerked back and forth. I got my arm free but I tried to help Dad. Kenneth and Dad knocked into me while they were struggling. I remember hitting my head.” Her hand went up and touched the spot. “The banister, I think. Or the stairs. It happened so fast. I don’t even know where Mom was at that point. The ceiling turned black. Next a loud noise jarred me as if I’d been sleeping. That man, Kenneth, fell down and died right there.”

  Karen had moved onto the couch with them and put a hand on Molly’s back to let her know she was there for her.

  Trent wanted to ask what they did with the body, why Molly was willing to run like that, but decided to let her share at her own pace. He had a lot of questions as her husband and friend, and the detective in him wanted to get all the pieces and understand what happened too. At least their business in California was done. They could return to Ridge City and have the police there handle the case.

  Maybe Molly saw the wheels turning, because she asked him, “Am I in legal trouble? I’m not sure if I did anything wrong.”

  “No, no you didn’t. You were a witness, and Arnold acted to save his family and self.”

  “But they didn’t go to the police.”

  Yes, that was a problem. “Do you know why?”

  After a moment’s thought, she said, “I remember packing, feeling scared, but I don’t actually remember anything we said. I had this feeling we were packing to get out of there, a trip, because we had to leave for a while. I don’t remember thinking we wouldn’t come back. I don’t remember the trip to Redding, either. I don’t know why we ran.”

  “They must have thought they did something wrong,” Karen offered. “I can understand if they panicked. Kenneth was dead, after all.”

  Trent knew the restraining order was on record, giving even more credibility to their story, so he couldn’t imagine what they were thinking. Whatever the Andersons had thought, they weren’t around to explain. He asked, “Now do you think your parents’ accident was just that, an accident?”

  Molly’s head rose quickly, then her shoulders slumped. “Kenneth couldn’t have killed my parents. At least not from this side of the grave. So it must have been a mean twist of fate.”

  “Not having someone to blame doesn’t mean you can’t be mad,” he said. “But now you know, and you wanted that, didn’t you?”

  “I guess I did.” She picked her coffee back up. “So what about the rest of it? What do I do?”

  “We do need to report this,” Trent said. “Back in Ridge City. The only loose end is locating the body.”

  “I don’t remember seeing…” Where or when they hid or buried the body. She shivered.

  “But there’s some good leads from your story.” He gently pulled her against him, wanting to lend her his strength. “It’ll be up to the authorities now.”

  Molly placed her mug down on the coffee table without taking a drink. Her hand lingered there as she became lost in her thoughts. “About going back to Ridge City. I want to close this part of my life first.”

  Trent tilted his head but waited for her to explain.

  “I have to finish things here before I move on. I have to get rid of all this stuff, pack what I want, put the house up for sale. That is, if Cindy doesn’t want it back.”

  “I can stay a while and help you with all this.” Trent stood and paced. “I still have concerns about your neighbor. I’m having his prints ran.” He explained about the sunglasses he found on her porch.

  “But so far, they haven’t found anything on him?”

  “No, so it’s probably just a guy with a crush, but I’m making sure he’s harmless.” Ironically, as he spoke, a distinct noise started up softly in the distance. The police sirens grew louder until he couldn’t ignore them. Trent’s cell rang. “Hello?”

  “Williams. Quinn. We’re heading to your neighbor’s house. Your f
eeling was right. The prints got a hit because there’s a warrant out for his arrest. Looks like he was hiding here, just like your Andersons.”

  Quinn didn’t say more, but hung up the phone as the sirens reached Justin’s house. They stood together at the window, watching the scene next door. He didn’t want to get in the middle of someone else’s jurisdiction and planned to find out the details when things quieted down. As they watched the officers go inside, he told her, “Your neighbor’s been running from a warrant.”

  Two officers dragged Atwood from the house, cuffed and yelling. They put him inside a squad car and left. “I want to go talk to them. See what they’ll tell me.”

  “I’m coming with you,” Molly said. He gave her a look that meant he didn’t like that idea, so she added, “It is safe now, right?”

  They approached the house together, and Quinn apparently had given the okay already because an officer allowed Trent inside the house.

  “Come see this.” The officer led them upstairs to a bedroom to show them a wall of pictures, some of Molly coming and going from her house, around town, and a few taken in Ridge City over the last few weeks.

  Molly crossed her arms and looked at Trent in horror.

  “He won’t bother you after this, I promise.” Trent clenched his fists, but told himself the law would take care of it. He asked the officer, “That’s what the warrant was for, isn’t it? He’s done this before to someone else?”

  The officer nodded. “Several times. He’s not dodging this one.”

  Chills ran up his back. “Mol, let’s get out of here.”

  She nodded and turned on her heels. He followed her back to her own house at a quick pace, where he asked, “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m okay. I just want to get all this taken care of soon so I can go home.”

  Home. Their home.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Thanks again,” Molly told Cindy over the phone before they hung up. Glancing around the bare house, she sighed in relief. It was one of those long, end of the journey type sighs. She had wanted her aunt to take the house back, but Cindy wouldn’t have it. They finally compromised by agreeing to split the profits from the sell. Cindy would take care of the furniture. She’d originally left it in the house and then the Andersons had moved in and used it. Molly didn’t want anything to do with it or any other reminder of how her parents had hid things and lied to her. She wanted to remember her life with them before Kenneth Webb found them.