by Rylee Swann
As I unlock the door, tension builds in the air. He’s silent, and I glance up to find him gazing down at me. I meet his eyes and I’m done for. His smoldering expression shoots flames straight to my core.
Resistance is futile, the hidden geek in me gleefully whispers.
I want him, and I know he wants me. To hell with the consequences. Like Scarlett O’Hara, I’ll think about it tomorrow.
Throwing open the door, I grab Jayson’s hand and pull him inside. He smiles in that sexy way of his that always drove me mad with desire. Now is no exception. My panties grow damp, my clit throbbing with need.
He crosses the threshold and kicks closed the door without looking back. My mouth drops open at how freaking sexy that is and in less than a heartbeat our lips are locked together in a kiss that penetrates to my very soul. Maybe Jayson was always right. Maybe we are soulmates.
Walking backwards, I tug on his hand and lead him toward my bedroom. His chest presses to mine and my nipples harden and poke through my shirt. The friction as we move drives me wild. Yet, nothing compares to his tongue forcing open my lips and assaulting my mouth. He uses his tongue like he’d use his cock, and I moan around his thrusts, rational thought fleeing fast.
The backs of my legs hit the bed and he pulls back to glance around. My bedroom is tastefully decorated with gray transitional-style furniture. The walls are a dreamy shade of blue that I painted myself. The accompanying beach-themed knickknacks complete the picture. On the wall that faces the bed is the only thing that isn’t ocean or beach-related—a tall, framed image of David Bowie. I like the idea of him watching over me as I sleep.
“Nice,” Jayson nods his approval at the photo.
He returns his gaze to me even as my hands frantically work open the buttons of his shirt. I need to see him, devour him…now. When all the buttons are undone, he shrugs out of it, letting it drop to the floor. His chest and abs exposed, I gawk at him. His muscles have more definition than I remember but his shoulders are as deliciously broad as ever.
Reaching out, I place the palms of my hands on his chest. Let them trail down to his washboard abs. “Dear god,” I murmur.
He chuckles and grabs me by the back of the neck, pulling me in for another kiss.
I’m drowning in sensation as he reaches under my shirt to palm my breast, and tweak my ripe bud. I gasp into his mouth. Reaching down, I fumble with the button and zipper of his pants and am finally rewarded when his thick, hard cock springs out. I love Jayson’s cock. It has a slight curve to it that unerringly hits my G-spot without any trouble. I thought I’d never see it, hold it again. Yet, here it is. Smiling into his mouth, I release him from the confines of his jockeys and wrap my hands around his length. It’s his turn to groan into my mouth.
Pulling away, I look into his eyes. They’re shining with lust, and I image mine are the same. “I need you inside me now. We can have foreplay, you can tease me all you want, the second time. Fuck me now, Jayson.”
“Temptress.” He growls and throws me back onto the bed. Following, he presses his weight down on me, his hardness drilling a hole in my belly. With a rough yank, my shirt is pulled over my head. Another yank and my breasts are released from my bra as he pushes it down around my torso. He palms my right breast, squeezing, and my nipple puckers so hard it almost hurts. He dips his head down and tickles it with his tongue, swirling his tongue in teasing circles.
I arch my back, breathless. “No foreplay. Stop teasing.”
He laughs and stands, undressing while I drink in every glorious chiseled inch of him. Just before he’s done, I quickly wriggle out of my jeans and soaked panties. When I reach around to unhook my bra, he places his hand on mine, stopping me.
“No, leave it on. It’s sexy that way.” His voice is rough, so deep with lust that I almost come from the sound of it.
Returning to the bed, he settles on his side next to me and carelessly moves a finger over my nipple.
I want to cry, the torment is too much. I open my mouth to again demand a good and righteous fucking, but he places two fingers over my lips, silencing me.
“For ten years, this is what I’ve dreamed of. This is what kept me going during the hardest parts of my battle for sobriety. The thought of this. Of you.” He’s gazing into my eyes with such intensity, such fire, I think I might spontaneously combust. “So, December, when we’re done here, don’t you dare say this was a mistake. Don’t you dare take this away from me or sully its memory. In this moment, we both want this. Need this. It isn’t a mistake. We’ll figure out what happens next when it’s time to.”
He toys with my nipples, moving from one to the other and scrawling lazy circles around and over them. My body responds with shivers, my flesh pebbling in goose bumps, my pulse quickening.
He bends his head to my ear, his tone low and seductive. “Agree and I’ll continue. Express any doubts and I stop. What will it be, my beautiful December?”
I turn my head to meet his gaze. I realize that this is a moment I’ll forever look back on as one of the most important in my life. Once upon a time, I gave him everything, even more than I had to give. It drained me, weakened me, destroyed me. It wasn’t until I was far from him in both distance and time that my power returned. My clipped wings unfurled anew. What happened between us was many years ago. Dare I finally let go of it all? Dare I trust this man again? There’s so much to consider, and I understand why he’s making me decide now, before we go any further. Despite my body screaming for more, I refuse to let my hunger for him color my judgement. This isn’t just about a moment of passion—it’s about all the days to follow.
I hold his gaze, wanting him to see that I’m taking his words seriously. Then, slowly, I raise a hand and place it on his cheek. “Don’t hurt me again,” I say in a faint voice.
Sorrow flits across his face, darkens his eyes. “I won’t. I promise.”
I pause for one more beat, searching his face, his eyes and, heaven help me, arrive at my decision.
My voice nothing more than a whisper, I give him his answer. “I agree.”
His face transforms with angelic light, his smile beatific as he gazes down on me. I smile back and he climbs atop me, his expression morphing into that of a lust-filled animal, fangs barred. Anticipation thrums through me as he positions himself at my entrance. He pauses, tilts his head until I bang an impatient hand on the bed. Grinning like a mischievous devil, he grabs my legs and positions them over his shoulders. I’m fully open to him and escape is impossible. Not that I want to, but this is a wicked position, one that hurts yet gives such amazing pleasure at the same time.
There’s no hesitation in him now. With one powerful thrust he’s deep inside me, my slick walls grabbing tight to his cock as it drives relentlessly into me, over and over.
I cry out, clutching his arms. My nails rake across his skin as I struggle to accommodate his size. My hands slip from his arms, fingers twisting in the blanket. Teeth gritted, my face no doubt expressing the mingled pain and pleasure. This is a quick, hard fuck as I’ve asked for and it takes only minutes for my body to surrender. To soar to oblivion. I come hard, wracked with earthquake-sized tremors, back arched to the breaking point, lungs seized. When the orgasm releases me, I scream out a shuddering breath. Falling back onto the mattress, I’m rewarded with a few more powerful thrusts. Finally, gratefully, Jayson’s face contorts and he holds himself inside me, his arms braced on either side of me shaking, until the heat of his release floods me.
He lets out a growl, a rush of air from his lungs, and releases my legs. They fall to the bed, limp, as he throws himself down beside me. The quick rise and fall of his chest matches my own. His flesh glows with a light sheen of sweat. I place a hand over his heart, the fast but steady vibrations comforting.
When he finds his voice, he chuckles. “That was nice.”
I lift my hand and swat him on the chest. “Come up with a better adjective fast,” I say in mock warning.
He laughs and puts h
is hands up, pretending to cower. “Beautiful, amazing, spectacular. Take your pick. However you want to classify it, you did not disappoint.”
I tsk at his macho bravado but I’m smiling. “I think spectacular will do.”
Laughing harder, he turns to me. “Give me a few minutes and we’ll get to that teasing foreplay sex you promised.”
I nod and give him a deceptively sweet smile. “Alright, but you better not disappoint.”
Loud guffaws follow me as I get up and go into the living room. There, I grab two bottles of water and return to bed, handing him one.
We both drink deeply, needing to rehydrate.
“By the way,” he says between gulps. “I should have said this earlier, but I’m clean. As in clean bill of health from a local doctor. I thought you should know. You are the only woman I’ve ever been inside of without a condom.”
“I know,” I say softly. “I wasn’t worried.” Should I have been? I never gave it a thought. In this I always trusted him.
“I couldn’t bear to use one now with you.” He turns to me, a glint of worry in his eyes. “I can show you the test results.”
“I believe you.” I know this is something he would never lie about. “Weren’t you concerned about me though?”
“Nah.” He screws the top back onto his empty water bottle and tosses it to the floor.
“Nah?” Surprised by his response, I laugh. “Why not?”
“I’m trying to be romantic,” he says in a toe-curling, low voice.
Not very romantic laughter erupts from me. “Well, I’m clean too by the way.”
“Good.” He takes my almost finished bottle of water from my hand and sets it on my night table. Taking my now empty hand and guiding it to his cock. The rod I missed so much stirs and twitches under my caress. “Ready for the slow, teasing fuck?”
I nod and he covers me with his body. The passion of his lovemaking over the next hour or day or year—I lose track of time—is the most exquisite I’ve ever experienced. I come not once, but twice, and he makes me work for each one. Dragging it out, bringing me to the edge again and again before letting me freefall into ecstasy.
He doesn’t disappoint.
When I’m once again coherent, I turn to him with an exhausted smile. “Wanna stay the night?”
He nods, his face joyful. “I’d like that.”
We fall asleep in each other’s arms.
10
Jayson
I rise with the sun, get out of bed, and gaze down at Dee. I don’t want to turn away, fearing that this is a dream, a mirage, and she’ll dissipate like the ghost of her that lives in my memories. That would kill me.
Frankly, I’m a little in awe that I’m here. With her.
If this is a dream, or the matrix, or I’ve fallen into some odd alternate reality, please don’t let me wake up.
Nudging her gently with a hand, I smile when she opens her eyes and stretches. She’s like a cat, so lithe, so elegant, so beautiful. An angel.
Fuck. I’m such a little girl.
“What time is it?” she asks before hiding her mouth behind a hand and yawning.
“Early. I’m going to go. I don’t want you to feel obligated to make me breakfast or entertain me.”
She nods and looks away. Too late. I caught her pensive expression.
“You’re not allowed to say it,” I say, reminding her of our deal.
She sits up, holding the blanket demurely over her naked body.
“I know. Am I allowed to say that I’m terrified?”
She’s breaking my heart. I have so much to make up for. So much I regret. I lean down and kiss her lips, smooth back her hair. “Just give me a chance to prove myself to you. Okay?”
She nods and offers a small smile. “Okay.”
I smile and kiss her again. “Thank you. I’ll call you later.”
Back in my austere, tiny apartment, I want to call December and talk to her for hours about nothing. Like we used to when we were long distance lovers. I stop myself from doing it though. I’ve only been apart from her for an hour and it wouldn’t do to appear so needy. She appreciates strength and today I’m the strong man she’s always wanted.
Instead, I get ready for work. I’m already late and will only make it to a scheduled staff meeting if I skip shaving. Rubbing my hand over my scruffy chin, I chuckle. Dee hates facial hair. I love it, since I’m a lazy-ass who’d rather wait until my beard is so thick I need five or six disposal razors to get through it.
I’m just settling into the driver’s seat of my rental when my phone rings. Could it be Dee? Wishful thinking, I know. She’s playing it cautious, regarding me, and I don’t blame her one bit. Pulling my cell out, I my brows rise in surprise at the number on the display.
I swipe to answer the call. “Desk Sergeant Chris Kenney, what’s up, brother?”
“Morning, Fox. Hey, that’s a mouthful. Let’s keep it to Chris, okay?”
“Sure, sure. You can keep on calling me Fox if you want to,” I joke, then fall silent, curious about why he’s called.
He chuckles into the phone. “When I introduce you to the missus, I’ll remember that. Anyway, Sally says she’ll be making her cobbler on Saturday. We’d love for you to join us for dinner. Say around seven?”
I’m elated. I genuinely like Chris and it’s nice to get confirmation that it’s mutual. It’s been lonely here, not knowing anyone. Now, I’m on more than speaking terms with Dee and am establishing friendships. Life in Upstate New York is looking good. “Yes, that sounds great. Is it okay if I bring a date?”
“Ah, I knew you were a sly fox. Sure, the more the merrier. I’ll let Sally know it’ll be four for dinner.”
“Thanks, I’m looking forward to it.”
The rest of the day goes by in a busy blur. I make it to work just in time for our staff meeting, after which I co-counsel a group session with another addictions counselor, then have a private meeting with my supervisor about Isaac. He’s pleased that I took the initiative at the police station and offers his assistance if and when I need it.
Then paperwork. So much paperwork. The only downside to my job.
Before I completely drown in it, I pull out my cell phone and call Dee. While it rings, I’m stunned by how easy it is to contact her again. To hear her voice whenever I want. To see her. I remind myself not to get too carried away before I’ve earned her trust.
“Hello?” her precious voice says into my ear, her tone wary, cautious.
“Hey, it was good to see you yesterday.”
“And, this morning.” Her tone lightens in amusement.
“Yeah.” I’m relieved that she seems glad to hear from me. I’m still a little gun-shy, thinking she’ll reject me at every opportunity. “I didn’t want to be a dolt and thank you for last night.”
The sound of her laughter sends a quick twinge to my cock. “It’s a good thing, what you’re doing for Isaac. I spoke to Gemma earlier. You got through to her and he’s very unhappily grounded.”
“Good, I’m glad to hear that. He’s a good kid, salvageable. Anyway, I was wondering, if you’re not busy tomorrow afternoon we could get together?” I find myself holding my breath as I wait for her reply.
“Umm, tomorrow afternoon?” she asks noncommittedly.
Sweat pops out on my forehead like a kid asking his high school crush on a date. “Yeah, I haven’t seen too much of the countryside yet. I thought, maybe, we could take a drive, do a little hiking. If you’d like?”
There’s a long pause then finally, “You want to go hiking? You?”
I laugh in relief. She wasn’t thinking of the best way to turn me down. She was shocked by the details of my suggestion. “I’ve ahh…grown fond of physical activity.” I don’t want to say, I’ve changed. That would be much too cliché. Nor do I want to remind her I used to never want to do anything or go anywhere that would interfere with drinking.
“Wow. Well, okay. Does around two p.m. work for you?
“Yes, that works.” I do my best to keep my enthusiasm to a normal level. “I’ll pick you up then.”
I hang up and sit at my desk, grinning like a mad fool. I have a date with December.
The next day dawns dark and dreary. I slept like the dead, but when I get out to my car, it’s wet, as are the streets. Mentally crossing my fingers that it doesn’t rain again this afternoon, I head off to work.
I’m only working a half day, and it goes by quickly, yet at the same time crawls by in agonizingly painful microseconds. I can’t wait to see Dee. When she and I lived together, I took for granted that she was always there. I didn’t take advantage of every single second I had with her. There were good times too. So many amazing moments. I hope I can make her remember them fondly. Some nights we’d talk until dawn, just laughing and goofing around.
Once, she decided she wanted to learn how to play World of Warcraft. I’d gotten hooked on it a couple months before and got good enough to get a part-time job with the company. I loved how she wanted to share in what was occupying my time. So, with me on the desktop and her on her laptop, I helped her create her first character. When she couldn’t get it to do anything but moonwalk backwards, I laughed so hard tears came to my eyes. She laughed too and it became a joke between us for a long time. That was her first and last foray into WoW—it wasn’t for her—and that’s when I backed away from the extra hours I was putting into the game. At least, that’s how I remember it.
I spend most of my morning thinking about her and the good times—it’s much too dangerous to dwell on the bad—and, finally, it’s time to leave to pick her up. Grabbing my jacket, I dash from the office amid some teasing from my coworkers, who I’d told about my successful quest for a date with Dee.
She smiles when she answers the door, looking me up and down with a raised brow. “So, we’re really going hiking?”
She’s surprised I’m dressed for the outdoors, in black Timberland boots, black jeans, and a long-sleeved white graphic tee under my navy windbreaker. Not clothing she’s used to seeing me in. I’m all about style and the outdoors these days.