by E. A. Copen
A new scent entered the air, smelling like salt fish. The Arctic Ocean lay ahead, close enough she could taste the salt on the air even through the magick. Here, the wind still howled, making the snowflakes dance and spin at a furious pace. With the renewed snowstorm, she couldn’t see the ocean until she was almost on top of it. As soon as she saw the dark water loom up in front of her, she slid to a stop and glanced over her shoulder.
The Mahaha closed, nearly within reach now. “Give it back! It’s mine!”
Jackie turned back to the ocean, took a deep breath, and jumped.
Her feet came down on ice. How thick, she had no way of knowing. But she kept on going, choosing her steps more carefully now. The Mahaha stepped consciously out onto the ice after her. It had the advantage of those large feet, distributing its weight over more area, making it less likely to fall through on the thicker ice. Judging by size, however, it probably weighed more than her, so if it found a weak spot, it will go through.
Jackie kept going until the ice underfoot was thin enough to see through. She looked down into absolute darkness, and tried to calculate the depth. Was it hundreds of feet? Or just a few inches? Was it enough?
When the ice was so thin that it began to crack under her feet, she stopped and spun around to wait for the Mahaha, spitting out the severed arm. It rolled a few inches and stopped between them. As soon as she stopped, the Mahaha had also drawn to a stop.
“You think you’re so smart,” said the Mahaha in its distorted voice. “You think you’ll lead me onto the thin ice, and that I’ll fall through. I am not that stupid.” The Mahaha walked forward.
No, not the Mahaha; Tara. She had to stop thinking of her as a monster to be slain and do as Osha had instructed.
Jackie took a step back. Icy water lapped at her heel.
“There’s nowhere to run,” said Tara, closing on Jackie.
Tara was right. With nowhere left to run, and no good options left, it was time for a bad one. Jackie braced herself on the edge of the ice shelf, focused on the wolf inside, and began the Change.
Normally, the Change took a long time. The fastest she’d ever managed it was in just over eight minutes, more than long enough for the Mahaha to rip her to shreds while she was on the ground and vulnerable. But there were ways for some werewolves to speed up their Change. They could draw on pack bonds, for one, an option that wasn’t readily available to Jackie. She had no pack and no alpha from which to pull strength and speed. At least, not in the traditional sense.
The other way a werewolf might Change faster was to draw strength from their mate. The mating bond was a powerful thing, and if Bo was right, as involuntary as love itself. Like any other relationship, there were billions of varieties, each bond as unique as the werewolves who formed it. David and Tara’s bond had been very one-sided, as it often was when werewolves took humans as mates. It was hard for them to understand and accept the full spectrum of what such a bond meant.
It wasn’t easy for Jackie, either. She’d been fighting its pull since first coming to Barrow, even without knowing it. Her wolf was a solitary beast, whose privacy was paramount. To have another tugging at the walls she’d spent so many years building up, even if by accident, had left her confused and lost.
That was what it had been with Nic, the unsettling draw, the churning in her stomach and the spark in her chest whenever their eyes met. It wasn’t love, or even lust, but something else, something…unexpected. It frightened her more than the monster before her ever could.
But there was no denying it, not anymore, not if she wanted to save Tara. And now that Nic had given himself over completely to Amarok, there was even more power to draw on. Of course, that came at a price. Somewhere inside of the giant wolf, Nic slept. If she wanted to save him, she would have to pull him out as well.
So, Jackie opened the link that had been forming between her and Nic. However weak it was, it was her only hope of surviving.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
A lance of pain, sharper than any he’d ever known before, shot through Nic’s skull.
It staggered Amarok, who had struggled to his feet to trudge slowly through the snow after Jackie. The great wolf—and Nic with it—fell sideways into the snow. He barely felt the fall thanks to the lightning ripping through his system. Bolts of agony extended down his spine, shot into his arms and legs, and back through every organ, of which he was suddenly acutely aware. It felt like the lightning took forever, working its way through his nerve endings and muscles and down into his phantom limb, but it passed in a fraction of a second, leaving him breathless.
He lay there, expecting it to happen again for a moment before he realized something else had changed. It was hard to put a finger on exactly what, but the world felt different. Every snowflake blowing past felt like more than a snowflake. It became a tiny world of ice, spinning on an axis all its own. Each snowflake was a world on a crash course with a trillion others. He watched as pairs collided, split, gathered in sets of four and five, all before landing on the ground to be melted into a greater whole.
A euphoria followed the realization, much like an adrenaline high, but stronger, more potent. On the tail of that high came a scent, like pine trees, strawberry shampoo, and car exhaust all rolled in one. Jackie, he realized. But why was he smelling her? She wasn’t anywhere near him. .
Then, suddenly, he was no longer shivering and bleeding in the snow. He stood in a blank room with no walls, floors or windows. Yet he was able to stand as if gravity still worked in this strange place by some miracle. The emptiness stretched on as far as he could see in all directions with nothing, not even his own shadow, to break it.
Nic turned a full circle before looking down. He was human again, naked, but warm. His missing arm was no longer missing. Now I know this is some kind of fever dream, he thought at finding himself whole.
“It’s not a fever dream,” Jackie said from behind him.
Nic spun around again and found her standing at his back. She wasn’t dressed as she had been the last time he saw her. She’d changed out her winter weather gear for a plain, short-sleeved blue shirt and a comfortable pair of blue jeans. It was the first time he’d ever seen her in something other than a sweater or a coat. He’d expected her to look smaller, but the change of wardrobe didn’t diminish her in the least. If anything, she looked better, more comfortable.
“At least I don’t think it is.” She smiled.
“What is this?” Nic gestured around him using his right arm. He could get used to having that back.
“I don’t know what this place is called, or why we’re here, but I know why it’s happening.”
Nic lowered his eyes from the neverending white around him to hers. Seeing her smile made his heart pump faster, and there was a strange pull at his gut, as if someone had tied a rope around his stomach and was trying to pull it out of him. He’d been having that feeling a lot around her. At first, he’d chalked it up to sexual attraction. She was a beautiful woman, the first new face he’d seen in a long time. It’d been a long time since he’d been with a woman, and she pushed all the right buttons for him. But now he was sure it was more than that.
Why am I thinking about that now? He tried to think about something else, anything else.
Jackie put a hand on his arm. “It’s okay, Nic.”
Instead of offering more reassuring words, or further explanation, she rushed forward. The side of her head slammed into his chest with enough force it moved him back a pace. Her arms wrapped around, fingers digging into the back of his shoulders in a tight hug.
He hesitated a moment, not sure how to react. The hell with it, he thought and returned her embrace.
The moment like the one earlier with the snowflakes repeated itself, except it felt like someone had turned the dial to eleven. The white emptiness around them was suddenly full of other things: a blazing fireplace, a coffee table with two cups of cocoa, blooming forsythia trees. A gravel path wound its way through the space, pa
ssing under their feet. Park benches sprang up with lanterns hanging over them. Nic watched with wide-eyed wonder as prismatic lights light up the sky in a rainbow of colors, as magical as the first time he had ever seen them. The world rebuilt itself around them, beautiful, imperfect, and strange all at once. It grew and bloomed until no white space remained.
He was afraid when Jackie pulled away that the beautiful world would disappear, but it remained, even as she smiled up at him. “I need something from you, Nic. It’s important.”
“Anything.” His voice felt small and inadequate.
Her palm caressed his cheek, and suddenly, he could smell everything. Every flower, every splinter of wood in the fire, the birds and the rabbit he couldn’t see. It was sensory overload, and it made him stagger back. Except when he took a step, it was with paws and not feet. In the space of a moment, he had Changed. And not into Amarok either, but himself. God, how he appreciated being himself all over again, even if only in this dream. Though he couldn’t fully understand how, he didn’t question it in the moment. After all, if trees and paths could spring from nothing in this place, why couldn’t he shift from man to wolf in the blink of an eye?
But it wasn’t just him that had shifted.
Jackie stood before him as her wolf, light gray peppered with streaks of black. She rubbed her nose against his neck in the form of another embrace and then stepped back. Without any words at all, she spoke to him and it all made sense. She was his now and forever, and he was hers.
She lowered her head and turned to walk away.
As quick as he had been pulled away to the strange place, Nic fell back into his body. All the aches and pains returned, and he found himself missing his right arm. Not only that, but someone was dragging him through the snow.
He struggled to get free of the grip and found himself looking into a wolfy Bryce’s eyes when he let go of Nic’s coat. Coat? How’d he gotten back into that? Bryce and the others must’ve put him in the emergency kit they kept in the back of the ATV. Yeah, he recognized the ratty old sweat pants and coat two sizes too big from there.
Bryce had been dragging him along through the snow. They must’ve gone quite the distance, too, since the twin lights of the ATV’s headlights were now in sight.
Other wolves made their appearance as well, walking out of the snowy mist one by one. Aspen and Vince had come too, a pair of twin black wolves distinguishable by the single red spot on Aspen’s chest. Only Donna and Mandy were absent, left behind to look after Bo.
“You idiots,” Nic groaned and collapsed in the snow. “I told you not to come after me.”
Breathing heavy, Nic fought to his feet and staggered toward the ATV. Jackie. All that mattered suddenly was getting to her. He had to be with her. If Tara touched one hair on his mate’s head—
Mate. It was strange to think of her in those terms, especially since he hardly knew her. The word fit, though, and it was the realest thing he had felt in a long time. It was as if he’d been down in a deep, dark canyon, hanging from a branch about to let go and she’d thrown him a rope. It was strange and beautiful at the same time, but if he didn’t hurry to her side, it would be short-lived. Tara would kill her.
The rest of his pack followed him. He paused and looked them over. He didn’t want to drag all of them out into the snow after Jackie, risking their lives. He turned to Vince. “The place where you found me, search the area. Justice is there. Bring him back, alive or dead. Understand?”
Vince gave a rough bark and nudged Aspen. The two of them trotted off in the direction Bryce had dragged Nic away from.
Bryce reached the ATV before him and jumped in as soon as Nic opened the door. He settled into the passenger seat and turned to give Nic an expectant look as if to say, “Well?”
Nic slid into the driver’s seat and struggled to attach the seatbelt one-handed a moment before giving up. He gripped the steering wheel with his left hand and reached out with his right…until he remembered he had no right arm. It took some work to figure out how to shift with his left hand, but he managed, and the ATV sped off.
Visibility was still almost impossible, but he didn’t need to see to know where he was going. He could feel Jackie out there, her heart beating like a beacon. Nic homed in on that and pressed the gas to the floor.
Chapter Thirty
J ackie shivered and curled into a ball. The biggest downside about being a werewolf was definitely going from wolf to human. Without her fur, she was sure to freeze to death in the subzero temperatures. This had better work.
“What’s this?” Tara — the Mahaha — stopped her advance. “How did she do that?” The creature tilted its head to the side and blinked. “You were a wolf. Now you’re a woman?”
“My name is Jackie. You know me.” She had worked to keep her teeth from chattering. “You’ve just forgotten. You let your beast take control, just as some werewolves do. You need to take control back, Tara. You need to fight it.”
“I’m not like you. I like what I am.” She took another step.
“That’s not true,” Jackie said. “It’s never too late to change.” Jackie hauled herself up to sit. She’d already lost feeling in her toes and her lips. A few more minutes, and she’d be dead from exposure. She had to make this fast. “Things can still go back to the way they were. You can have your life back, Tara. You just need to remember who you are.”
Tara’s upper lip curled. “And how exactly do you propose I do that?”
Jackie nodded toward the water. “Look. And if you like what you see, by all means eat me. Kill me. Do whatever you want. I can’t stop you. But if you look down there and you don’t like what you’ve become, I can help you.”
Tara stared at her a long moment. Jackie wasn’t sure she’d go for it.
“You told me before you just wanted to be happy,” Jackie said. “Ask yourself if that’s the face of happiness.”
Tara turned her head toward the water and took two steps to left. She leaned over the open water and peered down.
Jackie had no idea what she saw. It was too dark for true reflection, especially with the snow.
But she must’ve seen something, because she backed away from the water, eyes wide, mouth agape. “What have I done?”
“It’s not too late. I know someone who could help you. He can help anyone who wants to change.” It was a lie, a good one, but a lie nonetheless. What she needed was to get warm. Fast.
Tara touched her twisted face with the Mahaha’s long fingers. “David. My David… God, what have I done? What have I done?” She clawed at her face and looked around, panting. All there was as far as the eye could see was snow and ice. Her eyes fell on Jackie curled into a ball, shivering in the snow. “Tell Nic I’m sorry. He deserved better.”
Then, before Jackie could say anything, Tara turned and ran headlong to dive into the water. Jackie waited for her to come up, but Tara never resurfaced. All that remained was a thick chasm of black ripples.
Jackie tried to move and couldn’t. She was out of time. It was either shift back now or die. She reached for her wolf and tried for the Change, but she was too weak and tired to go through it one more time. Every breath became labored and her head felt fuzzy. She was dying, freezing to death, just like Nic had warned her about.
Fitting, she thought with a smile, that my last thoughts should be of my mate.
###
They found her at the northernmost point, far beyond where Nic could take the ATV. That didn’t stop Nic from darting out of the ATV as soon as he knew her she was and running at top speed for her. She was lying on a patch of ice maybe a foot thick. It cracked and groaned under Nic’s added weight. He didn’t care. He had to get to her.
Jackie was naked, in her human form. The exposed skin on her fingertips and toes had already blistered, but she was breathing when Nic knelt next to her. He ripped off his hat and coat, putting them both on her. He couldn’t lift her with only one arm, so he grabbed her by the ankle and dragged her back towa
rd where he left the ATV.
All the way back, he watched for any sign of Tara but found none. He couldn’t afford to look for her. He’d just have to wait till Jackie woke up to find out what happened.
Bryce was waiting, pacing back and forth impatiently. When he saw Jackie, he bounded through the snow toward her and immediately began sniffing at her, assessing the damage. It was all Nic could do to drag her the last few feet. By the time he reached the ATV, he was exhausted, bleeding again from his arm stump, and half frozen. With help from Bryce, he managed to get her into the back seat of the ATV. Then he opened the door for Bryce and got in the front himself.
Nic leaned heavily against the steering wheel. The world was a blur. Consciousness slipped away from him.
Not now, he thought. Not when it’s so close to being over. All he had to do was drive the ATV back to Barrow, the pull into the hospital emergency lot. In clear weather, the drive would take him fifteen minutes. In this weather, he’d be lucky to make it in an hour. And there was no way he was staying awake an hour. He tried to tell Bryce that he needed to change and take the wheel, but the words just came out of slurred nonsense. Hopefully, Bryce would understand if he took a nap.
Chapter Thirty-One
B o swallowed a gulp of air and waited for the laughter to return. It always did. There were moments when it let up just long enough for him to suck in a good lungful of air, but as time waned on, those instances became less and less frequent. It’d been nearly a day now, and already he didn’t know how much longer he could hold on.
The worst part was that Jackie was not there with him. Only the omega, Mandy, had come to his side during all of this. Her presence should’ve been comforting, but he found it more depressing than anything.