“Yeah,” I squeezed out when I managed to find my breath again. “You look amazing!”
“Thanks. You look pretty fucking hot yourself.”
I wore a black cocktail dress, a pretty simple one, with a red shawl over it, but he seemed to like it. I kept staring at him.
“I honestly didn’t think you owned a suit.”
“I don’t, actually. It’s Mac’s. Must admit I have no fucking idea when he’s used it, but he said I needed to look proper at the ballet.” He put an arm around my waist to get us out to the elevator. “Don’t get used to it.”
“I won’t,” I said with a nod. “But I’m really glad you did it for me. Thank you.”
“I’m taking you out to dinner afterwards, too.” He winked. “And I took Mel’s car. Didn’t think a truck was the right thing for the ballet.”
Mel’s car explained how his dad knew he was wearing a suit. Then there was the dinner, too, and it was… astonishing. I’d half imagined him to just show up in his usual outfit, drag me there, and then drag me home, but he’d really made an effort to make it special for me. I’d been more than happy just that he’d just offered, and later that he’d made good on the offer and was prepared to take me there. This wasn’t just making a ballet bearable; it made it pretty damn great. I was about to tell him how grateful I was when his phone beeped again.
“More penguin jokes?” I asked when he smiled.
“Yup,” Mitch answered after looking at the phone. “And he wonders what we’re going to see.”
“I don’t know how if it will help him, but it’s ‘Giselle.’”
“Do I wanna know what it’s about?” he asked as he started the car.
“Might help you follow the story. Giselle is a peasant girl with a weak heart who loves to dance. She’s in love with a man named Albrecht. But a man named Helarion is in love with her, and he’s suspicious of Albrecht’s noble manners. When a hunting party shows up in the village, it turns out Albrecht is actually a nobleman in disguise, who just pretended to be a peasant in an attempt to win Giselle’s heart. It’s also revealed that he’s engaged to Princess Bathilde. When Giselle finds out about his engagement to another woman, she goes mad and dies because of her weak heart. That’s Act One.”
“Sound exciting. What happens in Act Two?”
I laughed. “She’s dead, and Albrecht goes to her grave where she’s risen from the dead to become one of the Wilis or a Vili.”
“Wilis?” Mitch asked and looked at me. “That’s the fairy thingies?”
“I’m impressed. Yes, one of those. How did you know?”
“I read Harry Potter to Eliza when she was a kid. They have something similar with a similar name in them.”
“I didn’t know that. I haven’t read Harry Potter.”
“Have you read anything that hasn’t been turned into a ballet?” he chuckled.
“Yes I have,” I answered and glared at him. “Want to know the rest?”
“Yes, tell me the rest,” he laughed.
“When the leader of the Vilis finds out who Albrecht is, she wants to punish him for his betrayal against Giselle by making him dance to death, but Giselle saves him, because she still loves him. It ends with her joining the Vili and when morning breaks, Albrecht collapses in his fiancée’s arms.”
“The chicks in ballets are very forgiving.”
“They are,” I agreed. “They also all die, so I’m not sure it’s a good thing to be that forgiving.”
“No. I’m starting to see why Eliza chose to write her essay on a the portrayal of women in classical ballets.”
“You know,” I said, “I think I’d like to read it. It should be interesting.”
“I’ll ask her,” he said. “She loved the book you gave her, by the way.”
He talked more about Eliza on our way to the ballet. Like how she often called him when she couldn’t sleep and how they took rides or just hung out, and about a time when they’d been stopped by the police, and some other stories about his family. By the time we arrived, I was laughing, and I realized that he’d told me a lot of it to make me relax.
He took my hand as we walked inside, and every time I squeezed it, he either stroked his thumb over my hand or turned around and smiled.
“I’m not gonna keep asking you if you’re okay, so if you want to turn around, you’re going to have to tell me.”
“I don’t,” I answered. Hopefully I sounded more sure than I felt. “I want to do this. I need to do this.”
“Yes, you do,” he said with a smile as he opened the door for me. “You’re gonna have to take our girl to ballet classes soon.”
“She might not want to dance ballet,” I objected and then halted and looked around. Everything was just as I remembered it. It even smelled the same.
“She might not, but I’m going to guess that she’ll love it just as much as her mom does.”
I hardly even noticed that comment because I couldn’t stop staring at everything. Even if I wasn’t used to seeing it all from the audience, I still had the same feeling in my body as I’d had before a performance. Like every muscle was tense and ready, and I was trying to stop myself from starting to stretch. I was jumpy, and Mitch kept talking, but I wasn’t listening. He didn’t seem to mind my absent answers to his questions, though.
We went to our seats, good seats, and… how to describe it all once it finally started, the feeling, the music, all of it. I cried, but it wasn’t horrible. It was actually quite nice. I missed it, and my heart was aching, but not as bad as I had expected. Mitch helped by asking me questions in a low voice. Some of them were about me, but that didn’t bother me at all, and it kept me grounded.
When the first act was over, I stood up and realized I had been squeezing Mitch’s hand through the entire thing. I dried my cheeks and smiled at him.
“Think you’ll stand another act?”
“Sure,” he smiled and put his arm around my shoulders. “Think there’ll be any explosions?”
“No,” I laughed as we started walking to the bar next to the foyer. “If you’re lucky, there might be beer, though.”
I took him to the bar and managed to get him a beer.
“What do you think?” I asked.
“It’s just as I expected,” he answered.
“So that would mean ‘horrible,’ wouldn’t it?”
“No. Just boring,” he admitted. “But it’s okay. I’ll survive, and I like seeing you liking it.”
I’m pretty sure I blushed when he said that, and I was very happy when it was time to go back.
The second act was easier, and I started to truly enjoy it. The female lead was good, but the man, who was Victor, an old friend of mine since I had danced in Phoenix, was amazing. I knew that Irina was there simply because she knew I was coming, and she invited us backstage once the show was over, so we went.
Mitch was impressive, really nice, shook everyone’s hand, and it wasn’t half as uncomfortable as it could’ve been. I was sure it was strange for him, kind of like it had been for me when I had gone to my first party at the clubhouse, but he was handling it a lot better than I had.
When one of the dancers told me how honored she was to meet me, it got very difficult for me for a second, but then Mitch was there and managed to get me out of the situation with his usual charm. I talked to one of the trainers who had been there since I was in my early teens, and we talked for a while but were interrupted by Victor, who caught me in a long hug.
Victor had been one of the male dancers in my dance class when we were kids. He was just a boy back then, and my clearest memory of him was how jealous he had been when we received our pointe shoes. It was his biggest wish that he’d be allowed a pair, but they weren’t for boys. Every year when they came to fit shoes for us girls, he’d begged until they’d let him try a pair. I’d seen him a few times since I’d come back to Arizona, but he was so busy, so it was hard to find time even for a coffee. I understood, though, I’d been the same w
hile I was working.
“You look amazing,” Victor laughed and pointed at my belly. “Very nice.” He turned to Mitch. “And this is the father?”
“Yes,” Mitch answered and wrapped a possessive arm around me. “We need to be on our way, or we’ll lose the table,” he said to me.
I looked at Victor. “I’ll be back soon, I’ll talk to you then.”
“You better, honey,” he answered and leaned forward to give my cheek a kiss. I knew Victor, and I knew he was doing it just to piss Mitch off. “Have a nice dinner.”
I knew what Mitch was doing, too, without a doubt, and it angered me. He was basically whipping his dick out. He might argue that I was having his kid and for some reason belonged to him, but I was pretty damn sure he was having sex with other women, so why shouldn’t I be able to do the same? Not that I wanted to have sex with Victor, and even if I did, he was gay and lived with another dancer, but I wasn’t about to tell Mitch that. I was perfectly fine with letting him think I intended to screw Victor’s brains out. So I moved away from Mitch, and gave Victor’s cheek a big kiss.
“I’ll call you.” And then I went to find Irina to say goodbye—leaving Mitch behind.
I talked to Irina for a while; it was mostly her making sure I was okay, which I was, apart from being angry with Mitch—again. About ten minutes later, he’d obviously had enough and came to get me.
The dinner was so awkward and strange. We hardly said a word before our meal came. Then I decided I’d had.
“What’s your problem?” I asked.
“Are you dating him or something?” he retorted.
“Dating who?”
“Don’t even try, you know who I mean.”
“No. We’re friends. We were in the same dance groups when we were kids.”
“Are you having sex?”
“I’m not asking you who you have sex with, so I honestly don’t think you have the right to ask me that.”
He glared at me, and I could see the muscles in his jaw working even through the beard, so that was probably not good.
“Ask me,” he finally snarled.
“Ask you what? Who you’re having sex with?”
“Yeah. Ask me.”
“No. I’m not going to ask you.”
“Why not?”
“Because I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!” I yelled, and the next second I realized that everyone in the fancy restaurant was looking at us.
“Is there a problem here?” the waiter asked when he reached our table at the speed of light. “Miss?”
“No. No problem at all,” Mitch said and stood up. He threw a few bills on the table. “We’re leaving.”
I’d just barely had time to taste the food, which was wonderful, but I didn’t want to stay either. I was much too embarrassed after my little outburst.
If I’d thought the beginning of the dinner was awkward, it was nothing compared to what the ride home was like. After about ten minutes of silence, my head drifted off to its own place, which was a relief. The train of thought wasn’t the most relaxing one, but it was better than the furious aura emanating from Mitch.
When I found out I was pregnant and decided it was better to be just friends with Mitch, I’d thought it would make things easier, but it had turned out to be the biggest problem. That was what we argued about, or at least what led to us arguing. It was confusing and it hurt, and I was scared. I felt a bit like a coward, but a part of me was pretty okay with me being coward if it meant not getting hurt by Mitch. Another part kept telling me that I was hurting now, so what the hell was my problem?
There were other things about him, too. He used to be a pretty carefree guy, but he hadn’t been lately, and I didn’t know how to ask him what the problem was, because I didn’t think it was just about me. I was sure there were other things, too; things that had to do with the club.
It felt like I had been getting to know him better the past month and a half, but at the same time things had continuously become more tense between us, and I didn’t know where the boundaries of our relationship—or whatever it was—were. We had a… weird thing that had started out with sex, and I’d been pregnant before we even really knew each other.
If this was partly due to club business, I had no idea what to do. I’d never asked him about it, just the one time I ended up being his alibi, and then I’d shielded myself from it all, thinking it didn’t matter.
It did matter now, though, and I hadn’t figured out how to deal with that yet. He and a lot of the others were trying to pull me into the family, and quite often ‘family’ had a slight mafia ring to it. I also had feeling it wasn’t just because they wanted to make sure I felt like I belonged, that it was somehow to protect me, too. Which, weirdly enough, made me feel more scared. Probably because the mere fact that I needed protection was frightening, so obviously Mom’s talk about women paying the price had left some nagging doubts behind.
When Mitch stopped outside my house, I turned towards him.
Looking at him, I felt horrible. He’d made a real effort to make this night special for me, and I’d yelled at him at a restaurant. Sure, he’d been somewhat of a jealous asshole, but I could’ve just told him the truth—that Victor was gay and I wasn’t looking for anyone else. I’d been a drama queen, and I hated when I did that. I sighed.
“I had a good night, you made it good, and I’m sorry that I didn’t show it in a better way.”
“Just get out of the fucking car,” he muttered. “I can’t fucking deal with this right now.”
“I know I’m not your favorite person right now, but thank you for coming with me.”
His initial response was a dry laugh, and his grip on the steering wheel hardened.
“Anna…” he growled. “Just get out.”
I started to cry, but nodded. “Okay.”
I managed to get inside and into my room before I really started bawling.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Say That Again
-o0o-
Mitch was fuming. He was so fucking pissed he was about to explode. So much for trying to… do whatever the fuck it was he’d been trying to do. It wasn’t just her fault, but he’d seen red when that cup-wearing asshole in tights had pushed up on Anna. Mitch had been with her for the full fucking night, watching something excruciatingly boring for her sake, while wearing a fucking suit. He’d even booked them a table at fancy fucking restaurant, and the second that ass talked to her, she’d looked like he’d given her a million bucks.
Mitch pulled out his burner and called Mac.
“Hey?” Mac answered. “Shouldn’t you be seducing the mother of your child right now?”
“I need to get high as fucking kite, and I need you with me.”
“I’m on my way.”
That was another reason why he loved his brother. The man was more hung over than he’d been in years, but he didn’t even question him. Mitch had told him he needed him, and he was on his way.
By the time Mac arrived, Mitch was already feeling slightly better.
“So,” Mac said as he sat down and lit a joint. “What went wrong?”
“I got jealous, she got pissed and started yelling at me at the restaurant, so I took her home.”
“Jealous?”
“One of the ballet jerks got all… touchy.”
“You know most of them are gay, right?” Mac laughed. “Maybe not all of them, but I’m pretty sure a lot of them are.”
Mitch actually hadn’t thought about that. “Fuck.”
“Well, the bright side would be that she’s most likely not fucking him now, so go back to her tomorrow and try again.”
“Look at you, finding the silver lining in everything.”
“I know. It’s my superpower. You should also keep in mind that you could’ve knocked up some bitch you hated. Like in a frustrating hate fuck.”
“My hate fucks are strictly anal.”
Mac lost it and started laughing until it ended up coughing.
; “That’s probably a good plan,” Mac said when he managed to catch his breath again.
“I’m a smart guy. As long as I’m not trying to tell a woman I love her.”
He hadn’t thought he’d said that out loud, but he had, and he looked at Mac. He’d expected to see a lot of things, but not the big smile Mac was sporting. The honest, and to Mitch’s horror, slightly proud smile. Kind of like the smile his dad had given him a few days earlier when Mitch’d explained why he was taking Anna to the ballet. It had been slightly disturbing on Brick, but it was downright creepy on Mac.
“Maybe you should practice saying that a few more times and then just tell her,” Mac said. “It tends to shut them up, at least the first time you say it.”
“Yeah, ‘cause that’s not gonna make me feel like an idiot, practicing saying ‘I love you’ in front of a mirror.” He took a long drag and held it in for as long as possible before exhaling. “I worry. About her, about going away while Hump is around, and… fucking everything. I don’t think I’ll be able to convince her to stay with Mel, and it feels like I’m going insane about all this shit.”
“I know, man,” Mac mumbled. “I worry, too. Have you even asked her to stay with Mel while we’re away?”
“No. I need to figure out how to convince her before I even try.”
“I’m sending Vi to stay with Mel while we’re away, too. I know Anna likes her, so you could try telling her that. But if she won’t, maybe you should have Wrench staying with Anna?”
He’d thought about it but hadn’t brought it up with Brick. Bucket and his family would be staying with Mel, since he’d volunteered to stay behind, but Wrench was free to stay with Anna if that turned out to be necessary. Mitch just wasn’t sure how to bring that up with her, or how to explain why she needed it.
‘This guy is pissed and thinks it’s my fault he lost his hand, so he might try to kill you.’ He honestly didn’t think saying ‘I love you’ just before or after that would make any difference.
-o0o-
Mac hadn’t left until four in the morning, so when the doorbell rang at ten, Mitch was feeling like shit. He hadn’t really come up with any great ideas regarding Anna, but he still thought he needed to go talk to her, and he needed to do it as soon as possible. It was not a good idea to let the shit from the day before fester, and he almost hoped it was her who had come to have a go at him. It would at least get the discussion started.
Center of Gravity (Marauders Book 3) Page 28