The thoughts stopped once the next contraction hit me. I kept my eyes closed and imagined the air going in and out of me—down to the lungs, through my body, and out again. The next time I took notice about anything but my breaths and the pain was when I felt a hand on my arm.
“Come on, we’re here.” Mac put an arm around my waist and pulled my arm over his shoulders. “This okay?”
I nodded while breathing. Even if I wasn’t mid-contraction, I was still in some pain, so I kept it up. Mac pretty much carried me inside, and from somewhere far away, I could hear him screaming at people. He seemed to get them going, so I kept shutting things out. I did hear one thing, though, and it was Doctor Boyarov’s voice.
“A bit early, Miss Dobronravov,” she chuckled. “Open your eyes.”
I did, and she gave me a stiff nod. I noticed I was in a bed, but before I had time to wonder how that had happened, she spoke up again.
“The gentleman who brought you here is waiting outside. He said you’d been in an accident, but I didn’t want him in here until I’d had a talk with you in private. Who is he?”
“Mitch’s brother, and I’d like to have him with me. At least until Mitch gets here. I don’t want to be alone.”
“Okay.” She turned her head and nodded to a nurse. “You’re almost fully dilated, so you’ll soon feel a need to push, but you don’t push until I say it’s okay.”
Mac turned up next to me, and he took my good hand in his.
“My hand?” I asked Doctor Boyarov.
“We’ve called a specialist, but one thing at a time. Let’s get this girl out first, and we worry about the other things later, because she’s not waiting.” She turned to the nurse. “Get everyone ready. This is happening fast.”
I didn’t like the sound of that, and I stared at Mac who looked as worried as I felt.
“Don’t leave me,” I whispered. I was terrified of being left alone.
“Not going anywhere,” he assured me. “I’ll be right here until you tell me differently or until Mitch comes and kicks me out.”
“Thank you.”
“Nothin’ to it,” he smiled and stroked the hair out of my face. “We’re family, and he’d do the same for me.”
“I’m scared,” I whispered low enough for only he to hear me.
“I know,” he nodded. “It’s gonna be fine, and before this day is over you’ll have a baby girl—born on the same day as her dad. He’s getting the best birthday present anyone can get.”
I smiled. “I hadn’t thought of that,” I said, just as I felt the next contraction coming, and now I wanted to push. My entire body was screaming at me to push, and I looked at the doctor. “Can I?”
“No!” she barked. I felt her hand between my legs, and I tried to relax, but it felt impossible. “Almost there.”
“Please,” I groaned. “I can’t.”
Something she did hurt like hell, and I screamed, at the same time she yelled, “Now.”
And I pushed.
The last thing I remembered was her voice when she screamed, “We need blood.”
-o0o-
I opened my eyes, and it was so terribly hard. The next thing I noticed was the pain surging through my body. When I moaned, I felt a hand on mine, and once I managed to focus my eyes, I noticed Mitch on a chair next to my bed.
“Mitch,” I croaked.
“Hey,” he leaned closer and stroked my cheek before resting his lips against my temple. “You’re back.”
“What happened?”
“I’m not sure exactly, but you lost a lot of blood. I think they said it was placenta abruption.”
“Probably because of the kicks.”
“Probably. According to the doc, it had been bleeding for a while, which might have been some of the reason for your back pain. They sedated you, but they said you’d be fine.” He choked and leaned his forehead to mine. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to say, but I’m so sorry, babe.”
“The baby?”
“She’s fine. They needed to check up on her, since she’s a bit early, but they said she’d be fine, too.” He sighed when I put my hand on his cheek. “We’ll all be fine.”
“How are you?”
“Better than you are.”
“Mitch,” I warned him. “Tell me.”
“They got the slug, and Lisa stitched me up. I’ll hobble along next to you for a while, though.” He looked up, and there were still tears running down his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault. I didn’t listen to you, and they got to me.”
“They would’ve gotten to you anyway, honey, so you did nothing wrong. Nothing at all. I’m sure this was set up to happen on my birthday, so they would’ve gotten to you anyway.” He turned his head and kissed my palm. “And it was my fault.”
“No,” I shook my head. “It wasn’t, so don’t say that. Have you seen her?” I wanted us think about Sprout—or Alma. Since she was born, she was Alma now.
“No,” he smiled. “They were in here about five minutes ago and said she’d be here soon.”
“Did Mac see her?”
“No. When you started bleeding they pushed him out of the room. He wanted me to let you know you picked a bitch doctor, and I’d be pissed, but one of the other doctors said it would’ve been a lot worse if she hadn’t been there. She patched you up well.”
“My hand?”
“They brought in some specialist while they had you sedated to fix you up, and he said there won’t be any permanent damage. It might take a while, but no major nerve damage, they fixed some tendons or something… I’m not sure, baby, but they said it should heal up nicely, and he’ll come and talk to you later today.” He sobbed and I pulled him closer to me again. “I’m so sorry.”
“Honey, it wasn’t your fault,” I tried again.
“No matter what you say, it was. This wouldn’t have happened if…” He shook his head.
“It wouldn’t have happened if I never met you, but that’s really the only way to have avoided it, and that’s not something I’m sorry about. We have a girl we’re about to see, so please don’t. Don’t ruin this by saying we shouldn’t have met.”
“Okay, but I’m still sorry.” He sighed. “Thirsty? They said you might be thirsty.”
“Yes.” I watched him stand up to get a pitcher, and when he walked he definitely had a limp. “It’s pretty sexy.”
“What?” he turned around and it was the first smile he’d given me since I woke up.
“The limp. It’s pretty sexy.”
“I know,” he smiled. “But I’m glad you noticed. Now you know one of the reasons I find you hot as fuck.”
He held a glass with a straw in front of me, and I couldn’t help notice the way he studied me.
“Something wrong?” I asked and returned back to the straw. I was really thirsty.
“I’m just… I’m glad you’re not angry, and I’m wondering if it’ll last or if you’re gonna get angry with me soon.”
“Mom warned me that women always pay the price of men’s deeds. No matter how I feel about Anita, she was right about that, and you didn’t think about it. You thought it was Hump, because it never occurred to you that he wasn’t the only one whose life you destroyed.”
“And you paid the price for that,” he mumbled.
“That was the point with her plan,” I whispered and pulled him closer. “But it’s not just about paying. I’m getting things, too—good things. Don’t forget that.”
“Okay. I love you.”
The door opened before I had time to answer, and a nurse came in pushing a clear bassinette in front of her. In it was a pink bundle.
“I’m glad you’re awake,” she smiled at me. “You don’t wanna miss this little miracle.”
I reached out my hands and managed to completely ignore the soaring pain in my back; I just wanted to hold my girl. The nurse picked her up with a big smile and took a step towards me.
And then
I had her.
“Welcome, Alma,” I mumbled and held her closer.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She was the most beautiful baby I’d ever seen. I pushed the blanket further out of the way to see her entire face. Mitch reached and carefully pulled off her tiny pink hat, and we both chuckled. She had thick, black hair—a lot of it.
“That’s gonna kill Mac,” he whispered, and I felt him sit down next to me on the bed.
“You’re an ass,” I laughed.
“She’s perfect.” He gave my shoulder a kiss. “So perfect.”
“You need to keep an eye on her,” the nurse smiled. “It’s not uncommon for premature children to have jaundice. It’ll show in a day or two. There are no real risks involved, but it’s important to keep an eye on it anyway.”
I could only nod, but still refused to stop looking at her.
“Any other risks, since she was born early?” Mitch asked.
“She was almost in week 37, and it’s just one week from what we consider within the normal range, so I’d say there’s no need to worry at all.”
She left us, and we sat in silence and just stared at Alma, and suddenly I couldn’t hold back anymore and sobbed.
“She’s beautiful.”
I couldn’t stop myself and stroked her little lips with my thumb before continuing up over her incredibly soft cheek. Her lips tensed into a sour face, and we both laughed. She had tiny tuffs of hair at the top of her ears and Mitch chuckled when he noticed. We’d both stared at her for a really long time when she opened her eyes with a mewl and a stretch, and we both drew our breath. She had bright blue irises with a dark outer ring.
“Amazing.”
“We did a good job,” Mitch laughed and gave me a kiss. Alma started crying. “Think she wants to be fed.”
“I’m not sure how to do this,” I admitted.
“She probably does, just put her at the right spot and it’ll solve itself. Hopefully.”
He helped and made sure to cover the cast on my hand with a pillow, and then she was there, right at my breast. It seemed like Mitch had been right, when she was in the right spot, she opened her mouth and started. I wasn’t sure if she was getting anything, but they’d told me it might be a bit tricky in the beginning.
“That’s kind of hot,” Mitch said.
“Eww,” I laughed.
He looked at me and his facial expression changed to a slightly tormented one again.
“I’m sorry,” he said. I didn’t answer and pulled him closer for a kiss. He would keep saying that no matter what I said to him. “I can’t help thinking that… I almost lost you both.”
“You didn’t,” I mumbled. “I’d say that under the circumstances, I’m excused for not having bought you a birthday gift.”
“I’ll have the perfect gift every fucking year from now on. My girl will get one year older with me.” He took a shaky breath and I turned to look at him. “You better not tell anyone I cried.”
“Never,” I smiled and leaned over to give him another kiss. “Your secret is safe with me. Don’t think they’d blame you for it, though. It’s been a pretty intense day.”
“No shit.”
“Are the others waiting for you and her?”
“Yeah, but they can wait. She’s feeding, and I think we’ve deserved a little time alone.” He stroked his hand over her head. “Does this mean your tits are off limits for me until she’s done with them permanently?”
“No, might have to be a little careful with them, though.”
“I can try,” he smiled. “Think you can make more room for me in the bed, or would that hurt?”
I moved over, and he helped me the best he could. It meant my breast slipped out of Alma’s mouth, and she wailed in protest.
“Impressive lungs,” I noted. “Strong lungs and clenched fist—she’s a fighter, and she’ll be fine,” I said and carefully stroked her hand once the nipple was back in her mouth.
Mitch was right next to me, and while I watched Alma, I could feel him relax next to me. Five minutes later, he was sleeping, and I decided that the others could wait a while longer. I was sure they’d understand.
-o0o-
When I woke up the next time, Mitch was back on the chair next to the bed, and he had Alma in his arms.
“Are they still waiting?” I asked, and he smiled.
“No. I’ve been there. Mac was totally jealous about her hair.” He looked very pleased. I laughed and tried to turn to my side, which hurt like hell. “Fuck, babe,” he mumbled.
“Don’t tell me you’re sorry again,” I muttered. “You should’ve told me about his hand. If you’d just told me that…”
“I know. I should’ve told you about a lot of things. I think I didn’t want to tell you that we’d done that on purpose to someone.” He looked at Alma, and it was clearly an attempt to avoid looking at me. “It’s one thing that you know we’re… not exactly legal, but another to give you details about how we deal with things.”
“I didn’t really want to know, either,” I admitted. “But I think I need to know things from now on.”
“I know. I’ll tell you. I’d say you’ve seen the worst already.”
“I’m guessing this isn’t the end of it. It was just one guy and… Like, Amsterdam, what’s going on there, and what do I need to worry about regarding that?”
He chuckled. “I’m not even sure I know myself what we need to worry about as far as Amsterdam goes. There’s going to be a lot of things going on in the club for a while.”
“Things like this?”
“No. Not things like this, not guys who are out to hurt me, but there’s always gonna be people who might be out to hurt the club.” He finally looked at me, and he gave me a wobbly smile. “I think you knew that, though.”
“I knew it, but it’s one thing to know and another to experience.” I reached out, and he took my hand. “I’ll never lie to you, and I’m scared, and you need to tell me things. A lot more than you have.”
“We’re setting up a deal with the Dutch, and part of the deal is that we’re going to expand. Start new clubs,” he explained, and it sounded like he just wanted everything out in the open. So, when he kept talking, I stayed quiet. “Eventually, that could lead to problems. A lot of problems, but we’re all going to be on high alert, and we’re gonna be quick to bring everyone in to a lockdown.”
“What’s that?”
“We bring everyone to the clubhouse, post guards, and keep them there until we’ve dealt with the problem, whatever the problem is.”
“And you’ll keep me informed about all of it?”
“All of it,” he nodded. “Every nasty detail. I’m not making this mistake again. I’ll keep you fully informed, and I’ll tell you who to talk to when I’m not around, too. Dad, probably. I’d say he’s the first one you talk to if I’m not around.”
“I’d like that. Maybe not the knowing everything part, but I’d like to be able to talk to your dad.”
Mitch chuckled. “I have no idea how the old fucker does it, but every young woman in the club loves talking to him and trusts him.”
“He’s got that thing about him,” I admitted with a laugh.
He looked at Alma. “We’ll get through this.” He leaned down and gave her a kiss. “Won’t we, Cupcake?”
I looked at him, and I was fascinated with the look on his face when he looked at Alma. He’d keep her safe. It was probably odd that I thought that while my back and leg were aching from the kicks I’d received by people who’d done it just to punish Mitch, but I still believed it. We’d both learned our lesson, and if it meant I’d be more able to keep Alma safe, it was worth it.
-o0o-
“Cupcake’s hungry,” Mitch whispered next to my ear.
It had been a week, and my body was still aching, but Mitch had been amazing. It was probably still due to guilt. It didn’t matter what I said, he still kept telling me how sorry he was, and did everything he could to help me. I was g
rateful, though, because my back was still a mess, and my hand was in a cast, which made it really tricky to use the cane. I had to hold it in the ‘wrong’ hand, but I was starting to figure that out.
The most amazing gift I received at the hospital had been from Sisco and Bull. They gave my cane back to me. I’d thought I’d lost it, but they’d found it in the car Anita had dumped at a parking lot. I’d cried until Bull eventually turned bright red of embarrassment, but I hadn’t understood until that moment how much it meant to me. Apparently they had, and just thinking about those two big bikers having had the thought that I should get it back choked me up. It was such a sweet thing to do.
“I didn’t even hear her wake up,” I mumbled to Mitch and laid Alma next to me.
“I was up, so I’d taken the baby monitor to the office.” He lay down behind me with an arm around us both. “She’s changed and ready for food. And for the record, she might be cute as hell, but her poo is a biohazard.”
“Yes, it is,” I laughed.
“And I swear to God, she looks totally pleased when she’s had a dump and you open the diaper.”
“Sadistic little kid.”
I was slumbering a little. It felt okay, since Mitch was there to take her back to her bed when she was done. People kept telling me there wasn’t really any danger that you’d accidentally roll over on a baby next to you, but I still didn’t like to sleep when she was in bed with us. She protested when the breast was empty, and I turned us over. That way we were facing Mitch, and he smiled at me.
“How’s the back?”
“It’s okay. It’s getting better. Probably because you’re spoiling me. Not sure what I’ll do when you get back to work.”
“Not gonna happen in a while. Dad’s already told me to take whatever time I need. There might be some club stuff, but for now they’re in agreement that we’ve earned some time together.” He stroked my cheek. “And they know you need help.”
“I do,” I admitted.
“The other Old Ladies will help you once I go back to work, too. So don’t be afraid to ask them.”
Center of Gravity (Marauders Book 3) Page 40