“No thanks, I’ve already got someone in mind. I just don’t know if he’ll do it.”
“What do you mean? Who?”
“Jack Martin, the F.B.I. man whose daughter Davey found.”
“Carol, he’s a Fed. He’s not allowed to take private cases.”
“He retired from the Bureau, now he and his fiancée run their own consulting business. I wonder if I could get him to help. After Davey was—after Davey went missing, Jack came here to offer his condolences, oh and he brought his daughter with him. Al that Cathy is the cutest thing and he owes getting her back all to Davey.”
“Well, I guess Alison helped too, hey have you heard about her?”
“No, what nutty thing did she do now?”
“I don’t know how nutty it is, but she just up and quit her show. I wonder if what happened to Davey has anything to do with it? She really was crazy about him.”
“Alison is just plain crazy. If she left her show it was probably to chase after some man.”
“What do you want to do with Davey’s things in his room here?”
“I’ll leave the room as it is. I’m still hopeful that June will come back home. This is her home, not that museum of Blake’s. I love that girl like she’s my own sister. I don’t know what she’s going to do without Davey. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
They sit quietly for a time, just sipping their beers. When Al next looks into Carol’s eyes, he sees that she’s crying.
He reaches across the table and takes her hand. “Honey, what is it?”
Carol says, “My brother is dead. Davey’s dead.” as her face contorts from the effort to hold back the sobbing. When she finally relents to the pain, the tears come in a huge cathartic wave of howling.
Al kneels beside her chair, holding her as she cries. This is the first time that Carol has said the words. “My brother is dead.”
Now she can start to heal. Al thinks. Now maybe she’ll smile again.
“Shhh, it’s Ok honey. It’s going to be OK. Just let the tears come.”
Good advice, Al thinks, as he feels tears roll down his own cheeks.
27
June hears a scream come from somewhere back at the house and pays it no attention. Someone always seems to be screaming.
The thump of music blaring from the massive sound system reaches her and she wonders how anyone can have a conversation over that noise.
A party, there’s always a party going on. When every day is a party what do you do to celebrate? Maybe they realize that there’s nothing to celebrate and that’s why they party, so as not to have to think about it.
June looks down at the water three hundred and eighty feet below and begins to cry. She stands at the back edge of Davenport Manor where the Hudson River flows steadily by the cliffs of the Palisades. There is wind today and the rushing water now and again will show a bit of white as it’s churned. Here and there she can make out a boat off in the distance.
The wooden safety railing is behind her, and now all that stands between her and the water below are despair and intent, both of which she possesses.
Maybe I should have left a note. I think you’re supposed to leave a note. No, it’s not necessary. They’ll know why and they’ll understand. Without David, there’s nothing here for me.
June takes her engagement ring off her left hand, after kissing it, she bends over and places it upon the wall she stands atop.
Barefoot, she stands on the very edge of the two-foot thick wall and prepares to end her life. With eyes closed against her stinging tears she feels the wind billow her hair and the only sensation that spoils the illusion of flight is the feel of the craggy stone wall beneath her feet.
June lifts her right foot to step into eternity. I’m coming David.
Venango County, on a farm just outside of Plum Borough in northwestern Pennsylvania
Through the window he can see the trees and notices that the sun is just beginning to set behind them. It occurs to him that he has lain here every night for as long as he can remember. He has.
He looks down and sees the white shriveled thing that is his right leg and grimaces, remembering the abrasive sound the saw made as the man cut off the cast earlier. The man doesn’t like him. He’s as sure of that as he is just as certain that the woman loves him. The man doesn’t like him but he does whatever the woman asks him to do. Maybe the man loves the woman.
He can hear them now as they talk outside his room but cannot make out their words. He reaches up with his left hand to feel the scar. On the left side of his head he feels the long, straight wound above his ear and once more remembers the pain that used to come from touching it. The pain is gone now and his growing hair will soon cover even the scar itself.
Outside his door the man raises his voice, something about the woman throwing her life away, he strains now to listen. No, they’re talking normally again and he can’t quite make out what they’re saying.
Tired, why am I always so tired? He thinks, and then fades off to sleep.
At the precise moment June lifts her foot from the wall at Davenport Manor, he awakens and screams. “Nnnooooooo!”
The woman and the man rush into his room and stand looking at him, dumbfounded. He feels terror beyond imagining as tears roll down his face and he breathes heavily. He sits up in bed shaking and crying as the woman settles beside him on the bed and caresses him.
“Shhh, David everything’s fine. You’re safe and you’re going to stay safe. You must have had a bad dream, but at least you’re talking now. You are talking now, aren’t you?” The woman says, as she looks searchingly into his face.
She is so beautiful. “Is that my name, David?”
“You don’t remember your name? What do you remember?”
“Nothing beyond this room, except you, I remember you caring for me.”
The man shouts. “Oh this is just perfect, absolutely fucking perfect!”
It frightens him to hear the man yell.
Why doesn’t he like me? What did I do to him?
“Frank be quiet! Can’t you see that he’s already scared to death from his nightmare?”
“Fuck!” The man bellows and slams the door as he leaves the room.
“It’s OK David. Frank just likes to yell. What was your nightmare about?”
“It wasn’t a nightmare; it was an emotion. I felt absolute terror from out of nowhere…but…it’s passing.”
The woman lies beside him. “Oh it’s so good to hear you talk, I was beginning to believe you were brain-damaged. You seemed fine these last few weeks but you just wouldn’t talk.”
“Just like…just like…someone, that sounds very familiar, someone not being able to talk even though they were fine. Who was it…?”
“Shhh, you just rest now.” The woman pushes him to lie flat as she snuggles up against him. Her scent smells so good, so recognizable. “We’ll see how that leg’s doing tomorrow, you haven’t walked on it in eight weeks.”
“It was broken wasn’t it?”
“Yes you were hurt badly, but I found you and I saved you and now you’re all mine again. I was given a second chance.”
“A second chance for what?” David asks, as he feels himself slipping away to sleep again.
“A second chance to love you David. I love you.”
“I know you do—what’s your name?”
She kisses him on the lips. “Alison, David I’m your Alison.”
David smiles and fades off to sleep. Alison lies there with him in the darkening room and rests her head upon his gently rising chest.
28
June, with eyes closed and crying, lifts her foot to step out into a burgeoning dusk and an endless night. I’m coming David.
“June if you jump I swear by all that’s holy I will jump in after you.”
June is startled by the voice behind her. She puts her foot back down on the wall and turns to find Simon running toward her from the right.
“Simon
go away. I just don’t want to live anymore. I want to go to David.”
“David is not down in that water. He’s in your heart; he’s a part of you.”
“David is dead Simon. I want to be with him.”
“June, maybe David is dead, but if he were he would not want you doing this…this abomination. Please come down off of there. You’re scaring me.”
“No! Go back into the house. I’m sorry you saw me, but I haven’t changed my mind. Living has become unbearable.”
“Very well then,” Says Simon, as he climbs up onto the wall.
“What are you doing?”
“What I told you I would do. I swear to you that if you jump I shall follow you in.”
“You’re lying. Why would you do that?”
“I don’t want to stay in a world where a beautiful creature like yourself can’t exist. You are very special June, you’re the only good in this family. You have a beautiful soul that fate seems intent on crushing, if it’s finally succeeded then all beauty will have left my world.”
“I’m not special. I’m nothing. Without David I feel like there isn’t any point to living.”
“You’re wrong, you are a very special girl and you must stay and use yourself to help people. It’s the only reason we’re here June, to love and help each other. What you think to do now is born out of pain but it’s a very selfish act. How do you think this will make Dr. Manning feel? That woman loves you, I can tell. She’s more sister to you than your own are. If you do this it will devastate her. After David’s disappearance, do you think she needs any more pain?”
June answers quietly. “No.”
“No, she doesn’t. I know what it’s like to lose someone you love. When someone I loved died in a plane crash years ago I went out and bought a gun to shoot myself with, I had even picked out the day and time to do it.”
June looks down at the water. “What stopped you?”
“April and May, they were only teenagers then but already getting into trouble with boys. I stayed to care for them. I could not leave those girls to fend for themselves. I told myself I could always kill myself when the girls were grown, what was the hurry?”
“But Simon I have no one to care for, I’m all alone without David.”
“Then find something or someone, there’s a whole world out there that needs caring for, find something to care about.”
“David cared about missing children. He was going to start some sort of agency to help people find them.”
“You could do David’s work, you could make it your own, but please, let’s get down from this wall now.”
June looks at the water and doesn’t answer. Simon sees her right knee tremble slightly and knows she is still thinking of jumping.
“June when I bought that gun I was thinking how happy I would be when my lover and I would be reunited. I was also hoping I would be reunited with you, thinking you were dead, but I was wrong June. You’re alive. What if David is alive? There’s always hope. You taught me that by returning to us after twelve years, there’s always hope.”
June stands upon the edge of the wall looking at the water. Simon watches horrified as she lifts her right foot, but then is elated to see her turn and jump to the ground.
June retrieves her engagement ring and places it back on her finger. Simon jumps from the wall, landing next to June, and takes her into his arms as she weeps softly.
“David once told me the story of how you found him by listening to your soul. Let go of your fear, ignore your pain and listen to it now. Hear only your heart, quiet your mind and listen to your soul.”
June opens her mouth to protest but then closes it. The feeling that led her to David in the first place had dissipated as her mental awareness had increased. It led her to David knowing he would take its place as her caretaker. It is gone now, still, she listens.
Simon holds June gently as she lets her mind empty of pain and despair.
Many long moments pass and then she feels a tingle as the familiar but long dormant sense of clarity returns to her.
David!
She now feels his presence about her and his love inside her. He is near! No. Not near, but not far, and certainly, oh so gloriously certainly not dead.
Now she concentrates to locate him. Which direction?
God this is so hard now. It was once as natural as breathing as she crossed the country in her journey to reunite with him. Nothing. The feeling is fading, but she now knows with an absolute conviction that David is alive.
Simon feels her shudder in his arms and believes she’s sobbing, then he hears the sound of joy erupt from her throat and knows she has felt him. David is alive. June looks up at him and smiles the first smile he’s seen on her face in weeks.
“He’s alive! I felt him Simon. David’s alive, alive! How did you know to tell me to do that? How did you know I would feel him?”
“I can do it too, you have it much stronger than I, but I can do it too. It’s how I’ve always been able to tell you girls apart. I can feel your souls.”
“He’s alive. David’s alive! He’ll come for me. David will come back to me. He’s alive. David’s alive. He’ll come for me. David will come back to me. He’s alive. David’s alive. He’ll come for me. David will come back to me.” June repeats this litany all the way back to the house, while smiling with a strange light in her eyes.
Simon guides her through the house and past the partying hordes that April and May have inflicted upon this home on a regular basis. He takes her into his room and closes the door. He then reaches into his top bureau drawer and takes out a business card left to him by Dr. Meyer. He dials the doctor’s cell phone number that she had written on the back.
Behind him, sitting on the bed, June repeats her litany, only now she is almost whispering it. “He’s alive. David’s alive. He’ll come for me. David will come back to me. He’s alive. David’s alive. He’ll come for me. David will come back to me.”
“Yes, Dr. Meyer? It’s Simon at Davenport Manor.”
“How is June, Simon? Is there a problem?”
“Yes doctor, please come immediately, I…she, she needs you.”
“I’ll be there shortly.”
Simon hangs up and guides June to lie on the bed. She is becoming quiet now, but still smiles with that strange look in her eyes. Simon holds her hand and soon she is sleeping. She has been in hell the last eight weeks and now her heart has released her into heaven.
June now knows with certainty that David is alive and knows with an equal conviction that he will return to her someday. June sleeps peacefully, safe in her hope of the future on the day she had wished to die.
Alison softly closes the door as she leaves the room where David sleeps. Frank Brooks sits sullenly at the kitchen table as Alison takes the seat across from him. He is a big man, six-foot-four and just over two hundred pounds. His brown hair is combed straight back, enhancing the view of his startling green eyes.
Alison smiles at Frank, but after reading his face, she frowns.
“Can’t you at least be happy for me? David’s going to be fine.”
“Fine? Alison he’s amnesic, that’s not fine, unless you mean fine for you.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I mean that now he won’t remember what a bitch you are.”
“If I’m such a bitch why are you helping me?”
“Because I love you, and if you don’t know that by now than you’re a stupid bitch.”
Alison stares at Frank while nibbling her bottom lip. “I told you when we first started going out that I only wanted to have a few laughs. I told you that I was in love with someone else, I never led you on.”
Frank walks over to the kitchen counter, where he pours a cup of coffee.
In addition to the large kitchen that opens to the outside, the farmhouse has three bedrooms and two baths. David’s room, the master bedroom, is larger than the others and contains its own bathroom.
Frank sit
s back down at the table and looks across at Allison. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry about what?”
“About calling you a stupid bitch, I love you Alison but God you can drive me crazy.”
“I’m not trying to hurt you. I know what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t love you back. But can’t you see that this is my second chance? As soon as David is well enough to travel we’ll take him to Mexico. We can spend the rest of our lives there happy and the law will never catch him.”
“What do you mean, ‘We’ll take him to Mexico.’ You think I’m going to follow you like a puppy dog to Mexico? To do what? To watch you screw some other guy for the rest of your life?”
“I didn’t mean it that way. I just don’t want to see you go. I care for you Frank, it’s not what I feel for David, but I do care about you.”
“What you feel for Manning is more than love—it’s obsession.”
“Then it’s my obsession that will heal him and keep him out of jail. Jesus, Frank for all we know whoever wanted him dead still wants him dead, so he should stay dead. Maybe being dead is the only thing that’s keeping him alive.”
“What about his family? Will you ever let them know that he’s alive?”
“No, let him be dead to them too. Carol will be fine in time and June…”
“June’s his girl right? He mumbled her name all the time I was driving him out here. He also kept saying something about a damn mouse. I guess he was delirious from the head wound.”
“Mouse is June’s stupid nickname. June will be fine. From what I read in the papers she’s now a very rich woman, she’ll have plenty of men around her.”
“I should have never helped you. When we walked into that apartment and found him lying there I should have just called the damn cops.”
“I would have let you too. But when Carol called me back hysterical, begging me to tell her if I knew where David was, I knew we couldn’t. When Carol said that June’s father was dead, I knew something was rotten. If not for me David would be in jail right now.”
“How can you be so sure he didn’t have the girl’s father killed in order to speed up her inheritance?”
Double or Nothing Page 21