In Over Our Heads

by CJane Elliott

  Chapter EIGHT

  MY EYES popped open at some ungodly hour, and I groaned and flipped over to try to go back to sleep. No such luck. I hadn’t slept well as it was, having nightmares of sinking under the ocean only to have Ursula the Sea Witch catch me in her purple tentacles and squeeze the life out of me. Trust me to turn any Disney fairy tale into a horror story.

  Dinner the night before had called forth peak Gloria Gaynor-ness, given it was an exercise in survival. The food had been divine, but the ambience? Cute couples—not just at my table, where Marco and Jonny gazed dopily at each other and Sophia and Patricia murmured and flirted, but all over the dining room. No one had so much as looked at me. Not even our cute and obviously gay waiter had given me a second glance. Tragic! I’d felt like Cinderella in her drudge days, but older and uglier, and had pined for Miles the Beautiful with his adoring glances. I’d also spent a lot of time cursing Walter for screwing that up, like he’d screwed up my life.

  In the light of day, I could see I’d been overdramatic last night. Even though emotions were my friends and I didn’t have a stoic bone in my body, I wasn’t usually this doom-and-gloom. Jeez. This vacation was being anything but, so far. I couldn’t wait to get through this scuba-diving ordeal so I could get drunk and pick up someone cute and fun. And leave Walter Elkins where he belonged—in the rearview mirror.

  The door burst open, and Sophia sailed in with my morning cappuccino. She was humming under her breath and had that telltale postsex glow about her. I tried not to hate her too much.

  “What’re you doing in here with me, doll? Don’t you have a sexy dive instructor to entertain?”

  “She had to leave early.” Sophia handed me the mug. “She’s taking her group out on the ocean dive too, and she had to go to Back Bay to get the boat ready.”

  I took a restorative sip of cappuccino. “Ahh. Well, I hope you didn’t tire her out too much last night. Or vice versa.” I winked at her, even though I didn’t feel very winky.

  “Guilty on both our parts, I’m afraid.” Sophia smirked, then perched on the side of my bed. “Can we talk more about what’s going on with you and Walter?”

  “Going on?” I blinked and buried my nose in the cup. “I mean, I told you guys last night. What more do you need to know?”

  “Whatever it’ll take to help you and him figure yourselves out, because second chances like this don’t come around often.”

  “God, not you too. You and Jonny need to start a group for incurable romantics.”

  She straightened, her dark eyes snapping with intensity. “Caro! You’re the one who talks about destiny. This is your destiny!”

  I sighed. She was so over the top sometimes. Must be her Italian blood. “Maybe my destiny is to be reminded to never let a guy walk over me the way Walter did.”

  “I…. Look, Marco has a good point, and I agree with him that Walter needs to apologize. It was awful of him to drop out of sight. You so don’t deserve to be treated that way.”

  “Right.” I put down my cup, having lost my taste for the cappuccino.

  “But you two were barely out of high school. So young! People change. It certainly doesn’t seem in character with how he is now.”

  “Doesn’t it?”

  “Well, I mean, Walter seems so conscientious and thoughtful. Yes, a little gruff, but not someone who would knowingly hurt you. But maybe… safety seems to be a huge concern to him. And maybe he couldn’t stand that you almost drowned, and he couldn’t face you after that? Did he ever explain it to you?”

  “No. I begged him to tell me why, and all he would say is ‘I’m not good for you. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.’ I guess the safety thing is the most plausible explanation. Because other than that, it’s bizarre that he would walk away and throw away a great thing. We were….” I paused, hit by an unexpected wave of grief. “Damn it, Soph, we were really good together. Yes, we were young, but we complemented each other so well. Like, I brought him out of his shell, and he calmed me down. And he took me seriously. He listened to me in a way no one but Jonny ever had before.” My eyes betrayed me by welling up.

  “Oh, Anthony. That’s lovely. I can tell he still does. Take you seriously, I mean. He hasn’t been able to stop staring at you the whole time we’ve been around him. It’s obvious he still cares.”

  Sophia’s words threw little daggers at my silly heart. Jonathan had said essentially the same thing. If they both thought Walter still cared for me, maybe it was true. And God, if it was true, I was in deep waters. I knew I should stiffen my backbone and armor myself with outrage. But I couldn’t. Still hung up on Walter Elkins? Guilty as charged. Convicted. Lock me up and throw away the key, because I had no hope of rehabilitation. I put my face in my hands for a moment. What a hopeless sentimental fool!

  Luckily for my humiliation factor, Marco came barging in with a brilliant grin. “All right, darlings! Today’s the day! Scuba diving or bust! Get ready for the adventure of your lives.” He stopped short and peered at me. “You okay?”

  Pulling myself together, I returned his smile. “Fabulous, doll! Off to the reefs we go to swim with the fishies!”

  Jonathan poked his head in with a big grin. “Ready?”

  I had to laugh because I was so proud of him. Talk about being sad and hopeless—Jonny had been in that place for years, not a few days like me. And look at him now! Hunky, happy, and in love. Maybe there was hope for me after all.

  “Ready as I’ll ever be, dollface!”

  “Yay!” Sophia leaned over to kiss my cheek, then stood. “Get dressed and meet us outside, fish-man!”

  I jumped out of bed with alacrity, because I was about to do this ridiculous thing with three of the people I loved the most in the world. And the man who was going to guide us through was only the lost love of my life. If that wasn’t a movie screenplay, I didn’t know what was. Time would tell if it was to be a romcom or an angstfest. Whatever it turned out to be, I felt ready, if only in that moment. Bring it on!

  WALTER STOOD in the middle of Back Bay when we walked in, his arms crossed over his chest—appearing, if anything, more uneasy than I felt. He had his usual frown on his face, his lips pressed so tightly together I had the urge to run a finger over them to loosen them up. At Sophia’s and Marco’s effusive greetings, he raised a hand, then turned on his heel and marched to the back of the shop.

  I felt Sophia’s eyes on me and turned to give her a weak smile and a “what’re ya gonna do?” shrug.

  A young Latina emerged from the back, pulling a wagon with our suits and gear. Walter introduced her as Camila, his assistant for the day. She nodded at us, then got right down to business distributing our equipment.

  In the changing room, I donned my wetsuit in something of a daze, still not really believing that I was going to scuba dive. I tried to remember details from yesterday, reminding myself that I’d mastered the regulator breathing and had been able to swim underwater for minutes at a time. But that was in a pool with sides and a bottom readily available.

  Walter’s voice interrupted my anxious musings. “Everyone ready?” He looked serious, but his eyes were downright warm when he pinned them on me.

  “Almost.” I sat on the bench to put on my flippers.

  His lips did that small curve. “Bring ’em with you. Use your regular shoes to get on the boat.”

  Oh. Duh. We followed Walter through to the back dock where a large powerboat was anchored. There were three of these boats in a line; Sophia stood next to another one, talking with Patricia, both of them fetching in their wetsuits.

  Walter wasn’t wearing one, but I bet he had one stashed away on board. He’d told us he would be staying on the boat, watching to make sure everything was going well. He couldn’t seem to resist glancing at me as he said that. Big brother Walter is watching, Anthony. Don’t fuck it up!

  As we stepped into the boat, my heart raced—I was so nervous it was like an out-of-body experience. A strong hand under my elbow made me focus.
Walter was guiding me to a seat. Suck it up, I told myself in my fiercest tone. You’re being a big baby!

  I pulled out of his grasp and plopped down on the bench, already winded.

  Jonny sat next to me and knocked shoulders. “We got this, Tony.”

  “Oh, sure.” My voice came out in an embarrassing squeak. I cleared my throat and lowered it several octaves. “Piece of cake.”

  Sophia bounded on board, all smiles, and sat on my other side. “Caro! We’re gonna have so much fun!”

  “If you say so, cara.”

  She took my hand. “I’m so proud of you.”

  “Yeah.”

  Camila placed our tanks, masks, and flippers on the boat deck as Walter heaved the anchor and readied for sailing—or chugging? Whatever verb goes with a motorboat. One minute away from no returning to shore for me. I supposed I could still refuse to jump in when push came to shove-Anthony-over-the-side, but I didn’t want to give Walter the satisfaction. Pettiness wins out over terror!

  Marco leaned over Jonathan and grabbed my arm in a bracing grip. “So stoked you’re doing this, Antonio!”

  Stoked? My God, was that another one of his pep-talk words? I bared my teeth at him in a sickly grin. “Right on!”

  Whatever expression I was wearing must have been comical, because all three of my former friends cracked up. I glared at them until their laughter died down.

  The engine suddenly vibrated under our asses, and soon Walter piloted the boat away from the dock. He called back over his shoulder, “It will take about fifteen minutes to get to where we dive. Camila will help you on with your tanks.” He gazed upward and outward. “Pretty good weather today. Conditions should be okay.”

  I scanned the horizon, pretending I was interested in the “conditions” for sailing, and gave a sage nod. Camila came over with vest and tank and asked me to stand up. She helped me strap on the vest and adjusted my regulator. I jammed it in my mouth, mostly so I wouldn’t have to say anything else. She hadn’t turned on the air yet—but maybe pretending I was doing my “in, out, in, out” would keep me from hyperventilating, both now and later when we descended into the deeps. Oh God!

  All too soon we were fully outfitted and the boat had slowed to a stop. Camila had put on a wetsuit at some point. She helped Walter with the anchor, then slung on a tank, adjusted her mask, stuck the regulator in her mouth, and jumped in. I leaned over to watch her sink.

  Walter appeared at my side, watching with me. “She’s going to scope everything out, make sure this is the right spot for the dive.”

  A steady stream of bubbles rose to the surface, but Camila was nowhere to be seen. My God, this was stressful. “Is… are the bubbles how you tell everything is going okay?” I’d wondered how Walter was going to be able to tell what the frig was going on while we were underneath the surface. He wouldn’t be able to tell my bubbles from everyone else’s, right?

  “Yeah. As long as the bubbles are happening, she’s okay. I’m going to have you and Sophia dive on one side of the boat and Marco and Jonathan on the other. Camila will watch one pair and I’ll watch y—the other.”

  “Ah. Okay.”

  Camila’s head broke the surface. “Looking good down there. I checked both sides.”

  “Good.” Walter reached down to help her clamber back aboard. “Okay, everyone, final dive instructions.”

  We gathered around Walter, Sophia putting her hand in mine and squeezing tightly. I noticed Jonathan trembling, and Marco was massaging his neck.

  “So.” Walter unknit his eyebrows a bit, which I guess was his way of giving us an encouraging smile. “You all have your partners. Each buddy is responsible for the safety and well-being of the other buddy. Any concern at all, and you both come up to the surface. Understand? Don’t wait and try to work things out yourself. Don’t panic. Keep breathing. Your air won’t fail you.” He cast a grim glance around. “Any questions?”

  “Jeez, yeah,” I couldn’t help retorting, humor covering panic. “Are we allowed to have fun?”

  Camila snorted out a small laugh behind Walter, then put her hand over her mouth.

  “Safety is the most important goal,” Walter said stiffly. He loosened up, his shoulders dropping a notch and an actual smile touching his face for a brief moment. “But yes. All you have to do is get down there, and you’ll see. You’ll be having the most incredible experience of your life. The reef is magical.”

  I did a double take at this practically poetic verbiage coming out of Walter.

  Marco nodded. “It truly is. You guys are going to love it!” He slung an arm around Jonny and hugged him to his side. “Ready, pesciolino mio?” he asked in a tender voice.

  Jonathan gazed at him, adoration pouring out of his cute blue eyes, despite his obvious trepidation. “Sì, tesoro. Sono pronto.”

  “Bene.”

  Speak English, you cheeseballs! I thought but thankfully didn’t yell out loud. Anger was the other way I handled being scared out of my gourd.

  “I’m so psyched, caro!” Sophia gave me a hug of her own. “Are you ready?”

  “Yep.” My voice wavered, and Walter gave me a sharp glance as though he was trying to see inside me with his X-ray vision. “Let’s do this thing!” By then all I wanted was to get it over with.

  Jonny and Marco waddled over to one side of the boat, Sophia and I to the other. As I’d expected, Camila went with them while Walter stayed with us.

  One final adjusting of my mask and checking the straps to my tank, and then I inserted my regulator while Sophia did the same. Walter helped us up to the ledge on the side. “You’re going to do fine,” he said in my ear. “I know it.”

  I grunted an incoherent response, then faced Sophia. We took hands, nodded to each other—oh God oh God oh—and jumped in.

  Through a fresh wave of terror, my training kicked in. Walter had made us practice the descent a bunch of times yesterday. “Breathe!” I could hear him saying. In, out, in, out. That’s all I concentrated on in the first terrifying moments. Sophia held her nose, which reminded me to hold mine to clear the pressure in my ears. My God, so many things to deal with!

  Then the novelty of being in the ocean deeps took over. Sophia and I faced each other, our trusty bubbles coming in a steady stream, nodded, and started to swim slowly along, hand in hand. Amazement filled me. I was under the frigging ocean, surrounded by beautiful fish and anemones and waving coral! I almost laughed but caught myself. Sophia squeezed my hand, let go, and pointed to a school of silver-blue fish turning as one in a synchronized dance. So this was what Walter—and Marco—had been talking about. It was magical.

  We spent several moments just swimming, gazing at the colors and movement of this underwater world. We weren’t that far underneath the surface and could still see the bottom of the boat through the clear water. Walter had cautioned us to stay in sight of the boat at all times, the better for him to keep an eye on our bubbles. It wasn’t a problem because there was so much life to explore.

  I caught sight of a fish that looked like it’d stuck its fin in a socket. It was electric! After I pointed it out to Sophia, we swam closer to get a better view. That took us into a darker part of the water, although the surface was still visible.

  When our electric fish swam around a bend in the reef, we followed and beheld what seemed to be an entire meadow of multicolored fish and corals. I felt like I’d dropped into the middle of Finding Nemo. This was wondrous! I grew almost giddy with the joy of seeing this spectacle—a sight I would never have seen had it not been for that dratted Marco bugging us all to do this. I seriously owed him a mudslide when we got back to shore. And I owed Walter one for teaching me so well.

  A few minutes later, my view was blocked by something big and black, and all my rosy feelings vanished. A shark! I immediately went into survival mode. But no, the “shark” was Walter in full scuba gear, wetsuit and all, gesturing us over to him. What the heck? I’d almost panicked because of this jarring interruption to my pleas
urable dive, and I had to retreat to “in, out, in, out.” Walter pointed to the surface. Dang! We were supposed to have an hour, and it could only have been fifteen or twenty minutes. What was the problem?

  We followed him up slowly, adjusting our air and all that stuff he’d drilled into us, finally getting our heads above water. He pulled himself into the boat, then put his hand down to yank us in after him.

  “Was it time already?” Sophia asked, a trifle breathlessly.

  “Yeah, what was that all about?” I could feel myself pouting.

  “I told you to stay in sight of the boat. Your bubbles disappeared!” Walter’s face was a thundercloud.

  “Our bubbles… what the hell? We were right there and doing just fine!”

  Walter jutted out his chin and put his hands on his hips. “I couldn’t determine that, because you went too far from the boat.”

  Such classic Walter—always the party pooper with his caution. No wonder I’d made it my mission to loosen the guy up once upon a time. But that was then. This was now, and I was pissed.

  I put my hands on my own hips and glared at him. “We were a few feet away! We followed an electric fish because it looked cool! We weren’t in any trouble.”

  “I couldn’t tell. Rule one: your safety is paramount.”

  Ugh! I was too angry to reply.

  Camila said, “Why don’t you go in with them, Walter? There’s still plenty of time, and that way you don’t have to worry. And Anthony and Sophia will get their dive.”

  Screw that! I didn’t want Walter tagging along. But it was his boat and his dive, and he made the rules.

  “Okay. That all right with you two?” He couldn’t even meet my eyes.