"What happened yesterday, then?” Eva asked skeptically.
"Well, I finally told someone that I gave up on life and never wanted to get better. Straight up, I said this. I got it off of my chest. I didn't try expressing myself through self-absorbed poetry on my web-site," Diego smiled.
"I said that I had given up trying to improve my life because there was no reason to continue. Every day for the last year or two, I shrugged my shoulders at life. Threw my hands up in disgust. I didn't even try to take the necessary steps to be happy and not be morose all the time. And I knew the steps. I knew how to get better, but I purposely disregarded everything because I was tired of wanting things I could not get.
"I was too afraid of venturing into the unknown. Tired of having falling-outs with women and never talking with them again. Tired of working in a factory, where I get burned out every day. Tired of not having money to help my family. Tired of not having a degree. Tired of my defective personality – the thoughts and memories that make up who I am. Tired of being unable to follow through with creative ideas.
"Tired of losing my willpower. And all of that is the TIP of the iceberg. I could tell you so much more, but I don't want to dwell on these things anymore. It’s useless to think about these things over and over in my head."
Sean and Eva were taken aback by his frankness. But they were still doubtful.
"I know what you're thinking – this is just me vowing to be happy and focused. It will last for two days before something stressful happens, and then it's back into despair. But let me tell you something – I've been washing my dishes after I use them now. I've been putting my clothes in the laundry basket. I've been setting realistic expectations for myself one small step at a time. Yeah, I know it sounds lame that I pat myself on the back for throwing away the newspaper as opposed to leaving it on the table for six months.
"But for me, someone who was born with a mental disability and has been trying to re-integrate myself into society even though I am treated like an outsider, and act like an outsider, these little things are small accomplishments. I'm taking things day by day, minute by minute. I have no NEW philosophy. I have not had a spiritual revelation. I did not read a self-help book. I did not meet another girl.
"I just got tired of being tired. I have no grand expectations for myself. I just want to continue to be a good person and not dwell on things I can't have or ever be. I do believe in reincarnation, and believe it or not, I think I'll be reborn without a disability next time. I don't hurt people. I care about people's feelings. I care about the world and what happens to it."
Sean stood up and took a breath. "Lemme call Richard, and see what he says. This never has happened before. Once a person is finished...once they have willingly surrendered to the stress and uncontrollable world around them, our machines detect that person. The machines do not detect people with the potential to get better.”
Eva added, "Many people – they bounce back from the abyss and their depression, or stop their indulgences in vices and sin, or cease their skewed delusions – so they never register on our machines. Strong people – the heroes – they don't accept society, they fight it, and they try to make changes. We…we can sense if someone has lost it or not."
Sean said, "There's a probability factor built into our computers. You were at zero percent. When ‘dat happens, there is no bouncing back. With the mysticism, our machines could see into the timelines – possible futures. When there is no positive path available, when all avenues of hope have been extinguished, we come.”
Diego said, “I’ve been an exception all of my life. My expectations for changing my attitude are not through the roof. They are reasonable. I know I’ve reverted back into hopelessness in the past, but at least now, I will make a sustained effort, knowing that what will be will be. I’ve accepted many things that others spend lifetimes struggling against. I don’t expect a storybook ending and every day to be perfect and joyous, but I can at least take things with stride.
“From what I have read on the message boards, you and the Auctioneer wouldn’t really be giving me a new lease on life. Once my soul is gone, I would just be a lifeless automaton, serving the selfish whims of the buyer. I wonder what actually happens to my soul … I never even believed in souls until I saw you today. Who would I be? What is “I”?
“If you take free will from me, it wouldn’t be living. I still want to try and make a nice life for myself. I think I’ve shown you that I still care about myself and your 'infallible' machines are wrong.
Sean said, “I … let me talk with Richard. I’ll explain the situation. I jus’ want to shake yo’ hand, Diego. I don’t think Eva and I are needed here. I’ll be right back.”
Sean left the house and dialed the Soul Patrol’s leader Richard Wright.
Back in the house Eva asked Diego what motivated him to call an escort.
“I just wanted to talk with someone and pretend that she was my girlfriend. Sex really wasn’t on my mind in all honesty. I had some extra cash available. I just felt outgoing. I’m tired of my shyness,” Diego said.
“By the way, Eva … how the heck did you know that I called an agency, and set me up like the way you did?” Diego laughed.
“We had your phone tapped, and we cancelled the brunette’s appointment with you. It was easy from there,” she replied.
“Why didn’t you wear a black wig?” he asked.
“I knew either way you’d open the door. I just didn’t feel like wearing one of those awful things today. It’s too hot out for it,” she smiled.
“Diego … I’m sorry this happened today. You do realize that we are blood-bound to do this.”
“Where is your free will, Eva? Where is all of your free will?”
She couldn’t answer that one.
“Diego, you know if I actually had a social life, I would probably be your friend.”
”Thank you.”
“I have a good feeling about this, Diego. We’ve never had a zero percenter show the spark that you’ve shown. The flame is still there, and I hope it won’t be extinguished,” she said as she put her hand on his.
The front door opened, and Sean Brown slowly walked in. He was poker faced, as usual. Diego and Eva were both smiling quietly, anticipating Richard Wright’s good word.
But Sean didn’t day anything. He simply shook his head … “no.”
Buy Now!
Velvet Mask Short Story Collection Series:
Part 1 -- Origin of the Dream Seeker
Part 2 -- Dream Seeker Tales
Part 3 -- Nihilist Tales
Part 4 -- Soul Patrol Tales
Part 5 -- Shadow Gentleman Tales
Part 6 -- Realtor Tales
Velvet Mask (Dream Seeker Short Story Collection: Vol. 1, Parts 1 - 6)
Other Dream Seeker Collections:
Return of Joshua (Dream Seeker Novel)
Parabola (Dream Seeker Short Story Collection: Vol. 2)
Visit the Dream Seeker Online at:
realdreamseeker.com
Table of Contents
Part IV – Soul Patrol Tales
Introduction
Who
Part
Chapter
2:
3:
4:
5:
Soul Patrol Tales Page 3