I get out of the truck just in time to see Silas smile and laugh to himself as he’s lowering the tailgate of the truck.
“Sure, laugh at the helpless injured man in the back of your truck,” I hear Joseph tease as I round the corner at the tailgate.
It’s not hard to see why Silas reacted this way. Joseph looks a bit ridiculous wrapped up in numerous blankets with pillows behind his head, all of which take up the majority of the truck bed.
Jake pulls himself up over the side of the truck and sits down in the corner next to Joseph. “You have a front row seat to the end of the world,” he says jokingly, though as I follow his gaze and look out across the valleys in the distance, I can actually make out what looks like dark plumes of smoke on the horizon.
When I look back to Silas, I instantly see that seriousness and focus have returned to his face. He takes the small black duffel bag from the bed of the truck and turns away to walk down the hill toward the intersection.
“Wait,” I call out as I run after him, but he swings around and holds out a hand to stop me.
“You can’t follow me,” he explains. “It’s too dangerous.”
“What if you need—”
He crashes his lips to mine, pulling me against him with his free hand, savoring every second that we’re connected in this way. I feel the reluctance with which he withdraws from me even before I see it written all over his expression as he looks me directly in the eyes.
“We’re making the right decision,” I say encouragingly, desperate to believe my own words.
Something changes in his demeanor. The aura of uncertainty he was emanating just seconds ago is completely gone. The strong and confident man I love is back with me in this moment, ready to bring this plan to its completion.
“No matter what happens,” he says decisively as his palm cups my cheek, “I’ll always protect you.”
He takes my breath with him as he lets go and walks away from me down the rocky dirt road. I remain still and watch him for just a moment before turning back toward the truck.
It’s hard not to smile when I see Jake now lying out on the truck bed nestled up next to Joseph, their arms entangled and their hands connected between them. It’s taken three days of recovery for Joseph to fully get his color back and look and feel more like himself again. We all still worry. We know there are still risks, but for right now, we’re taking the optimistic view that he’s going to be okay.
Exchanges of gunfire erupt in the distance, though they’re barely audible at this range. I know that means they must be far enough away, but that doesn’t make the situation any less disconcerting. These sounds of war and death have become too regular in the last couple of days, as if they’re just a part of the landscape now, as normal as the sounds of nature and the wind rushing through the trees.
The gunfire puts my nerves back on edge the entire time Silas is getting everything set up on the hillside and on the ridge above the road. There’s inherent danger in what he’s doing, but I know he’s taking every precaution to make sure he’s safe. Relief floods through me when he’s done and carefully works his way back down to the road.
He begins to walk up toward us trailing a long, thin cord behind him. When he reaches the halfway point between the truck and the intersection below, he stops and turns around to look at us. Even at this distance, he’s trying to gauge my face, looking for a definitive answer that I’m okay with what he’s about to do, even though I’ve already agreed to it and encouraged it more than once.
I beam a somber smile at him and nod, giving my assent as I cover my ears. He doesn’t hesitate. He immediately turns back around and in the same movement flicks the trigger on the detonator in his hand. A flash of fire and a deafening boom cause me to flinch as dirt and brush erupt from the hillside, exploding out from under the ridge in a landslide across the bottom of the road just before the place where it meets the intersection. The violent sound of splintering tree trunks quickly follows, and within seconds various large pine trees come crashing down over the unearthed dirt and debris now covering the road.
When it’s over, everything’s completely still in front of us except for the plume of dark smoke rising into the sky. I uncover my ears to find everything’s quiet other than the sound of distant gunfire still playing its soft, but threatening soundtrack in the open world around us, serving as a reminder of why we’ve made this decision, why we’re going down this path.
As I look down at the bottom of the road now, its entrance is completely blocked with a mountain of dirt and fallen trees, and its sides are still inaccessible because of the ridge on one side and thick forest on the other. It quickly starts to hit me just how serious our situation has become. We’ve cut ourselves off from the world, opting to help ensure our safety by blocking the only road with access to our house tucked away in the mountains.
We’ve also blocked our only exit.
There’s still threat of attack by foot. The militia or even random people seeking shelter in the mountains could still bypass the blocked road and walk up to our doorstep, but we can rest easier knowing that no convoy of vehicles can drive up to our gate and overwhelm us as happened when the farm was lost. We’ll live off the supplies and resources we have for as long as we can before we’ll venture out into the world again, and maybe by then the ash from its destruction will have settled, and the threat won’t be as great.
Silas begins to walk up the road toward us, wrapping up the remainder of the cord as he moves. He sticks the cord and detonator in the black duffel bag hanging at his side then lifts the bag off of his shoulder and discards it on the ground before he reaches me.
I immediately step forward into his arms and embrace him, releasing the pent-up breath I feel like I’ve been holding for too long. My muscles loosen as I relax into him, allowing myself to be fully enveloped by the warmth he provides out in the cold air of this harsh world.
“I can’t believe we just did that,” I comment as I watch the smoke continue to dissipate into the open air.
He pulls back enough to see my face, but keeps his arms wrapped around me. “I did it for you,” he declares, all hints of doubt completely gone as he looks perfectly content to be on this side of the blocked road with me. “Everything I do from this day forward is all for you.”
I feel the need to kiss him, so I press up against him and connect my lips to his, and suddenly warmth is spreading throughout my chest like it does every time my heart reminds me just how much I love this man and how lucky I am to be in his arms.
When I step back and open my eyes after our kiss, I look into Silas’ olive eyes and see my own happiness reflected there, but I know there’s still darkness within him. That twisted side of him that tortured me and haunted me in my early days and weeks with him lingers somewhere deep inside and will likely never go away, but I’ve accepted that it’s part of him. It’s what brought us together, the connection that made understanding and acceptance and love possible between us. I’ll never get rid of the darkness inside me, either, but I’ll continue to conquer it every day.
I breathe out a sigh of contentment as we turn toward the truck, catching the final moments of a soft but passionate kiss between Joseph and Jake. They both smile as they slowly pull back from each other, seeming reluctant to have stopped. Warmth swells within me again to see them happy like this, being who they are and loving the person whom they want to love with no fear of the world judging them or inflicting hate on them.
I know we’re going to thrive here despite the difficulties we’re about to face. We have everything we need to survive, and even though it won’t be an easy path, we’ll at least have each other. Our greatest source of strength is the connection and love we share. The bonds we’ve formed and the endurance we’ve built up will get us through the brutal winter and the many difficult months and years to come.
Silas will hold me tight and never let me go.
And I don’t want him to.
Author Notes and Ack
nowledgements
People told me I wouldn’t be able to write after having my second child. For a while their predictions became my reality. It took me over a year after my second son was born before I had the time and mental energy to write this book, but I finally did it.
For almost two years now I’ve had this story brewing in my head. I never had to write down notes or make an outline because I’ve thought about it so much for so long that it’s been absolutely ingrained in my brain this whole time.
Yes, I’ve had something this dark and twisty consuming my brain for almost two years now.
It was, of course, a guilty pleasure for me to write this story just as it was when I wrote The Ransom Series. I hope my readers feel the same way while reading these darker books, the sort that people are often afraid to pick up or ashamed to enjoy.
There’s nothing wrong with indulging in a guilty pleasure or two.
I’d like to give a special shout-out to Marisa Shor of Cover Me Darling (covermedarling.com) for the amazing cover she created, one that turned out to be perfect for this book. She has incredible talent in her photography and design skills. It was such a relief for me to let an expert take that burden off my shoulders for the cover of this book.
I’m eternally grateful to C.L. Comeaux, the editor who polished this book and taught me the absolute importance of working with a professional editor. She took the heaviest weight off my shoulders, aiding me in my continual struggle toward perfection that is impossible to achieve on my own. She showed me that no matter how much online research I performed and no matter how many grammar books I consulted, there was simply no replacement for having a professional edit my work. It was a pleasure working with her, and I look forward to the opportunity to work with her again in the future.
I have to say thank you to the bloggers and readers and other authors out there who help spread the word in social media land about works by indie authors. I’m grateful for everything that community has done to help me, and I hope I can continue to give back in some way by helping spread the word for others.
Thanks for reading and giving me a chance to help you escape the real world for a while. I hope to give you many more opportunities for escapism in my other books that are already out and in those that are waiting to be written in the months and years to come.
Other Books by this Author
The Ransom Series:
Beyond Ransom, Beyond Revenge, & Beyond Resistance
New Adult Romantic Suspense
My body is broken.
My life is shattered.
Everything I’ve ever known is gone from me, yet I’ve discovered something beautiful.
I didn’t expect to be taken. I never dreamed that love would find me while my life was slowly stripped away. With him something new and alive stirs within me, and I am completely changed.
Though battered and broken-down, I’m not alone. The most unlikely man protects me and gives me strength.
I will survive this for him. I will find a way to save us both.
While they hold me, he holds my heart, and I’m not willing to pay the price to get it back.
~ ~ ~
Someone to Listen
New Adult Contemporary Romance
Abby wanted a fresh start, a new life thousands of miles away from her four difficult years of high school and the rumors that followed her. As she begins her college experience in Boston, she finds friendship and love she didn’t expect, people who show her that she doesn’t have to be alone.
She is torn between two paths, inexplicably drawn to two completely different guys. One understands her and reminds her of who she used to be, the broken shadow of a person wandering through life but not truly living. The other is the key to her future, the guiding hand that she waited for years to pull her out of the darkness and into the light.
When Abby’s newfound happiness and renewed existence are threatened, everything changes. She can fall back to that dark place within her or fight to save her future.
She faces the same struggle she has all along: getting someone to hear her, finding someone to believe her.
All she ever needed was someone to listen.
About the Author
A.T. Douglas embraced her renewed passion for reading by diving into the self-publishing world in 2013. Fueled by her love of music and her addiction to the Young Adult/New Adult genres, she strives to turn daydreams and the realities of life into words the world can read. She lives in New Hampshire, USA, with her husband and sons and wishes desperately that there were more hours in the day for family, reading, and writing.
Follow her news and random musings online:
Facebook: www.facebook.com/a2tdouglas
Twitter & Instagram: @a2tdouglas
Goodreads: www.goodreads.com/atdouglas
Blog: atdouglas.wordpress.com
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