“Jaena, wait. I’m sorry.”
“Oh, go take a running jump!” And she left him standing there.
*********
The next day Jaena found a note tucked into her letterbox. So he knew where she lived. Well she wasn’t going to accept his apology. Blue eyes or not she didn’t need some narrow-minded bigot in her life. She’d met enough of them in her lifetime as it was. As far as she was concerned Mitchell Gallagher was just some kind of revolting insect and she was better off without him. She didn’t care if he jumped in the river three times and only came up twice, she told herself, knowing that she didn’t really believe it.
He found her three days later in the cafeteria and tried to apologise. She picked up her books and walked away without a word. He tried again in the Women’s Literature class that they shared. She shred his note before his eyes. But when they found themselves together in the kitchen doing the dishes after morning tea at church on Sunday, she had to hold her tongue.
“How about a walk?” Mitchell asked quietly as he hung up the tea towel he’d been using.
Jaena glanced at the other occupants of the kitchen and saw them looking at her curiously. She nodded, not wanting to give anyone any reason for gossip. Besides, her anger was spent by now and even if they couldn’t be friends they could at least be civil.
They were barely out of the church building and had only just begun to cross the car park to enter the small park beyond when he began. “Jaena, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was wrong. Please, if you don’t want to see me, I’ll understand, but at least accept my apology.”
Jaena removed her jacket and slung it over her shoulder. “Okay.”
“Okay you don’t want to see me, or, okay you accept my apology?”
“I accept your apology.”
His face lit up. “Whew! I don’t understand why you were so upset in the first place but – hold on, what did I say this time?”
Jaena had grabbed her jacket and flung it against his arm. “That’s the problem with you and your family. You think you know everything and you don’t.”
“What do you know about my family?”
“Enough to know that you’re prejudiced and judgemental.”
“What?”
Jaena stormed away and Mitchell had to run to catch up with her.
“What are you talking about?”
“My mother. Madi Johnstone. Your grandfather,” Jaena spat the word out, “judged my mother without knowing the whole story. You judged her and you don’t know the story; just prejudice that’s been handed down from one generation to the next.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Am I?” Jaena turned to face him and she knew her eyes were blazing. Uncle Marcus had always laughed at the way her eyes fairly blazed whenever she was angry. And was she angry now. “You knew who my grandfather was when I mentioned his name.”
“Of course. It’s part of our family history.”
“And my mother.”
“I know she’s the reason that my grandfather and your grandfather parted company.”
“But you don’t know the whole story.” Jaena stamped her foot.
“I know that she walked out on her marriage and that’s the reason your grandfather had to leave the ministry he started with my grandfather.”
“As I said, you don’t know the whole story.”
Mitchell grabbed her arm and led her towards a seat. “Tell me. Tell me the whole story.”
“Why should I? So you can throw more stones?”
He winced. “Because I want to understand. Truly I do. Please.”
“You’ll just use it against me.”
“I won’t. There are gaps in our history, too. My grandfather has always regretted the loss of your grandfather’s friendship. There are things he didn’t understand, but he did what he thought was right at the time. Don’t judge him the way he judged your mother. Help me to understand. I really want to. Please.”
Jaena looked around. It was just a tiny park that was hardly ever used. On one wall that bordered the park someone had obviously tried to paint over obscene graffiti but the words still showed through in places; the swing set was rusty and broken; and the grass was way too long. It was hardly an inviting place for children and for a few moments Jaena wondered why spaces for children had to be so stark and boring.
“Jaena?” Mitch was waiting for an answer. Waiting for her to tell him her mother’s story.
“I can’t. I’m sorry, but I just can’t.”
She stood up and walked away and left him there. Again.
*********
To her surprise, Mitch didn’t pursue the subject. The few times they ran into each other on campus or at church he was polite, but nothing more. Jaena was astounded to discover that she not only missed their sparring: she missed him. He had been a worthy opponent and she suspected that despite their differences, they had a lot in common.
Mitch appeared to have taken up with a separate group of friends at church. There were some rather pretty girls in the group and Jaena hated herself for feeling jealous. What a ridiculous emotion – it wasn’t like they’d been dating or anything. They’d only talked a few times – well argued was closer to the truth. He probably didn’t even classify the two of them as friends. But he was handsome and she had enjoyed listening to his voice. And now that he was gone she was sorry that they hadn’t gotten to know each other.
It was her fault. She knew that. There was nothing she could do about it now. Well, she could apologise but she didn’t think she had anything to apologise for. Not really. He had asked her something and she hadn’t been prepared to bare her heart at that stage. No, it was time to move on. Mitch had and now she needed to as well. It was silly to have any regrets. This was life and sometimes it didn’t turn out the way you hoped.
And yet …
She was sitting under one of the huge trees on the university campus watching the wind stirring up the fallen leaves, and marvelling at their array of colours now that the seasons were changing when someone came up behind her. Without turning her head she knew it was Mitchell. It was the way her heart had skipped a beat that told her.
“Hi.”
Twisting her head she looked up at him and smiled. “Hi.”
He held his hand out and she took it and he lifted her to her feet.
“Care for a walk? Or do you have a class soon?”
“No, I’m finished for the day. I was just waiting for a friend and we were going to walk home together.”
“It’s quite a walk.”
Jaena shrugged. “The exercise will be good.” She glanced at her watch. “She doesn’t finish for another forty minutes though.”
“Good. I was hoping we could talk.”
“What about?”
He sighed. “I keep getting on your wrong side. I keep saying the wrong thing – when I don’t mean to. I seem to have a bad case of foot in mouth. Don’t laugh. You know it’s true. But I want to understand. After that last time I realised that you were right – I am prejudiced. I have judged your family. But I want to change that – if you’ll help me.”
“You want me to tell you my mother’s story?”
He nodded. “Please.”
“Okay.”
“Okay? Just like that? Are you serious?” He sounded as excited as a child on Christmas morning.
She almost smiled. “Yep. I think it’s time, don’t you?”
Jaena dropped back down to the ground, leaned against the tree trunk and patted the ground beside her. Mitch sat down where she indicated.
“I’ll tell you about my mother. I’ll tell you Madi’s story.”
Madi’s Story
Chapter Two
It rained the day Damien proposed. A gentle falling rain that carried the salt from the ocean and released the scents from the nearby flowering bushes. Madi thought he couldn’t have chosen a more romantic time or place than the little pavilion beside the beach with the rain providing a ve
il around them. They’d met in this pavilion, just a few short months previously, at a concert that the youth from her church had performed on New Year’s Eve. She’d been one of the leaders and had been busy encouraging the nervous teens in her charge and had not at first noticed the handsome young man that had stopped to listen. That very night he had professed a newfound faith and he and Madi had become inseparable from almost that moment. As he slipped the solitaire ring on to her finger she thought she must be the happiest person alive. Damien Hamilton loved her!
Only one thing marred it. Her parents. She loved them deeply, but they just didn’t understand. She knew her engagement hurt her father especially. He’d suggested she take more time.
“But I have taken time, Daddy. I prayed about it just as you said and I know that this is the man that God has chosen for me.”
“Sometimes we get our own desires confused with what we think God wants.”
“But I know this is what God wants.” She spoke with the confidence of youth. Damien was what her heart longed for. God had brought them together. Why couldn’t Daddy understand?
Daddy had sighed. “Marriage is for life. It’s a life long commitment that you make before God and man.” “I know, Daddy. I know. I’ve heard you preach about it often enough. And you’ve always told me that most anything can be reversed but marriage was never meant to be. I know all that.”
Daddy had been silent, and then with tears in his eyes had said, “One of the elders has offered us a house at the lake to use anytime we need it. Why not go away for a week and spend some time seeking God? And really pray about this?”
So she had. And she’d missed Damien terribly. She’d spent the whole time writing him letters saying how much she missed him and couldn’t wait to return. She hadn’t spent a lot of time in prayer – except to ask God’s help to get her through the one lonely week – but then she’d already prayed about their relationship and she was really doing this just to please Daddy.
When she returned and told Daddy her decision, he was disappointed. And resigned. And so the wedding plans had gone ahead. They had become man and wife and had set up home together. They should’ve lived happily ever after.
*********
“You’ve been out today. The car’s still warm.”
Madi looked at her husband in astonishment, unaware that he kept such close tabs on her.
“Yes. I had an appointment.”
“You didn’t mention anything this morning about an appointment.” Damien’s voice was accusing and Madi shrivelled inside.
“No. I wanted to be sure first.”
“Sure about what?” Damien lowered himself into his favourite chair and picked up the remote for the television.
Madi rose from where she was folding washing on the floor and moved closer to her husband. “Sure about the signs.” She took a deep breath. “Damien, I’m pregnant.”
“You’re what?”
She was unprepared for his anger. “I’m pregnant. A baby. We’re going to have a baby.”
“What makes you think I want a baby?” Damien stood up and moved away.
Madi stared at him helplessly. “I – I – don’t know. I just thought – I thought that we’d have children one day.”
“Well, think again. I don’t want children.” He spun around and his eyes bored into her. “You planned this. You did this deliberately. You went behind my back.”
“No. No.” Madi shook her head. “I didn’t plan it. It’s taken me by surprise, too. But I’m happy about it. I thought you would be too.”
“Well, I’m not and I want you to deal with it.”
“Deal with it?” Then she moaned and sunk down to the floor as the full meaning of his words hit her.
Damien grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to her feet. “I’m the head of the house and I say we’re not ready to have a baby. I don’t care where you go or who does it, but sort it out. Immediately.”
“Damien, don’t ask me to do this. This is wrong. Please.”
“How dare you tell me what to do!” His hand came from nowhere and she staggered back against the sofa, holding her hands to her stinging cheek.
She looked up at him in disbelief. He’d never hit her before. Yelled at her, sworn at her and called her foul names, taken her car keys and made her a prisoner in her own home, even barred her from using the phone, but never had he used his physical strength against her. Until today.
Her head whispered that this was not the action of a loving husband, but her heart whispered that she should forgive. After all, she had provoked him by dropping this bombshell. Perhaps he’d had a hard day at work. She only vaguely understood what he did, but she knew his job was stressful. She should have thought of another way to break the news. It was her fault.
She swallowed and dropped her eyes to her lap so that he couldn’t see her disappointment or fear. After a few seconds she heard movement and lifted her head. He was turning away, picking up his car keys from where he’d dropped them when he’d first entered the room.
“Damien?” She didn’t want another fight to end with him running off. The last time he’d been gone three days.
“Deal with it,” were his last words before going out the door and slamming it so hard that the china in the cabinet rattled.
Madi clutched a cushion to her chest and cried.
*********
“Madi, honey, I’m sorry. You just took me by surprise. If you want this baby, then I want it too.”
Madi rolled over in bed, her eyes swollen from weeping herself to sleep, and stared warily at her husband. She had no idea what time he’d arrived home but she knew it must’ve been late. Showered, dressed for work, he looked once more like the handsome man she had fallen in love with.
“Do you mean that?”
“Of course I do. I tell you what: let’s go out and celebrate as soon as I get home from work tonight.”
Madi remembered the hand on her cheek the previous night and shook her head. Immediately Damien’s eyes hardened. Quickly she tried to explain. “I – I just need some time to get used to the idea, too. Perhaps we can do it another time. What – what time did you get in last night?” She didn’t know why she asked – the last thing she needed was to make him angry again – but she needed to change the subject quickly and it was the only thought that came to mind.
“Late. You were already asleep. I went to my parents – the family get-together, remember?”
She’d forgotten. She hoped he wasn’t angry with her about that, too.
“How – how did it go?”
“Everyone missed you. I told them that you weren’t well because of the baby.”
“You told them about the baby?”
“Yes. And get this: Marcus has accepted a transfer down south. He’ll be out of our lives for good.”
Madi had never understood Damien’s relationship with his cousin. He’d asked Marcus to be his best man and Madi had assumed that they were close, but on the other hand, Damien often acted as if Marcus was some kind of nasty insect that was forever getting in the way. In reality, the truth was that they’d rarely seen Marcus since their wedding day and the few times that they had he had always managed to do a service for them. Madi knew, though, that if she voiced her thoughts Damien would only get angry.
“Well, that’s good for him,” she offered tentatively.
“Good for us all. Good riddance, I say. Well, I have to get to work, but I’ll see you tonight.”
A quick kiss on the cheek and he was gone. Madi went into the bathroom and studiously avoided looking at her face as she prepared for her shower. Undressing she was surprised to see bruises on her legs. She must have caught the edge of the sofa when she’d fallen backwards. They were the first bruises that she’d received at her husband’s hand, but hopefully they would also be the last. Holding her breath she turned to face the mirror and examined the bruise on her cheek. It didn’t look too bad but it did mean, however, that she couldn’t go to see her
parents and share her news until it had gone.
Stepping under the shower it was a long time before the water on her face was no longer mixed with her tears.
*********
“How are you doing, honey?”
Madi put down her book at her mother’s voice and tried to smile. “I’m bored. I’m tired of being cooped up in here. I want to go home.”
“You have to wait until the baby’s born before you can go home. It shouldn’t be too long now.”
“I’ve been here six weeks already. I’m sick of it.” She didn’t want to say that she missed her husband. He had rarely visited her in all that time.
“I know. But you want what’s best for the baby, don’t you? Of course you do. And you know that the doctors think it’s important for both you and the baby to stay here in Hospital until after the birth. It shouldn’t be much longer now.”
Madi sighed. “I know. They’re talking of doing a caesarean on Friday unless I go into labour before then.”
“Well, there you are. It won’t be long at all. Soon you’ll be able to hold your beautiful baby in your arms and this will all be a distant memory.”
Madi nodded. She wanted to ask her mother to make sure Damien knew about the caesarean but she was ashamed for her parents to know how little he visited her. It must be her fault that he stayed away. Of course, he was busy – she knew that – but she was hurt, too, that he hadn’t made the effort even on his days off. He had even seemed angry with her as if she had deliberately chosen to be admitted to Hospital weeks before her due date. Still, she would be a better wife when she returned home. The best wife any man could have. She would give him no reason to regret marrying her. And they would have the most adorable baby and be the happiest family that had ever existed.
The Scent of Rain Page 2