I shrugged my shoulders. ‘I dunno. I got a shock and then I suddenly felt dizzy and then I just fell over.’
Coco looked concerned. ‘Are you sick? Do you need to eat?’
I shook my head. I was as confused as she was. ‘No. I just suddenly felt so strange. I’ve never ever felt like it before.’
She narrowed her eyebrows. ‘What were you doing?’
‘Just getting my wallet out of the bag, and looking over there.’ I pointed with my chin a bit towards the girl and her palomino. My eyes flicked from her to the horse, and then seemed to dance around a little bit, out of my control. My mouth moved and some words came out but I didn’t really know what I said until Coco answered me.
‘Where’s who?’ said Coco.
‘What?’
‘You asked “where is he?“’ said Coco. She was looking at me with the weirdest expression on her face, halfway between a massive smile and an ‘I can’t believe it’ face.
‘I did not. Why would I say that?’
Coco turned her face out to where I was looking and scanned across the crowd of people, floats and horses.
‘It’s him, isn’t it?’ she said triumphantly.
‘Who?’
‘That guy over there.’ She gestured with her head, because Coco never, ever points. If we go out to the shops and Mum dares to point at an outfit she likes, Coco looks like she might sink into the floor with embarrassment.
‘That guy?’ I opened my mouth to speak but the words got all jumbled up and my tongue felt thick. All I could do was swallow a few times and grab for some support. My eyes were firmly stuck; they weren’t going to move, but my chest felt like someone had stomped all the air out of it.
Coco was right. There, just fifty metres away, helping the little girl take the saddle off her palomino, was a boy. And he was a boy like I’d never seen a boy to be before. He was tanned, dressed in a hat, boots and jodhpurs and he was smiling and chatting to the little girl he was helping. I felt my mouth open on its own but I didn’t bother to close it. Even if I’d caught a few flies in it, it wouldn’t have mattered. Nothing would ever have mattered ever again if that boy was in eye shot.
I heard fingers snapping and then Coco’s head came into my view.
‘Hey? Charlie?’ She grinned. ‘I think you’re in love.’ Then she started singing. ‘Charlie’s crushing on a far-mer, Charlie’s crushing on a far-mer.’
I sat up. The spell, if that’s what it had been, was broken. ‘I am not. I am going to get a drink.’ I grabbed my wallet from my bag, sprang to my feet and strode off, leaving her laughing behind me. ‘I’m thirsty, that’s all.’
The gravel crunched under my boots and the dust swirled around my toes as I walked away, in the opposite direction from the boy. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw James walking over to Coco with a curious look on his face and Tessa’s head turn to see what they were talking about, but I didn’t care. Coco had it wrong, and I wasn’t going to stick around for her to start teasing me. I checked my wallet. I had a five dollar note and a few stray coins. That was enough for a drink. And maybe a snow cone too. I’d get hydrated and refreshed, then we’d pack up and go home with Dad. I’d feel better and Coco would forget about whatever it was she thought had happened.
I walked up the hill, through the day-time stalls, which were mostly closing down, with people packing things off tables into boxes and taking down signs. I was heading for the food stalls, which were lighting up brightly for the evening. Music was pumping from the vans that sold hot dogs and hot chips, and chiko rolls and all the greasy food you only ever want to eat at the show, when it’s warm enough to raise a sweat in the shade, and dust is in the air and in your hair.
I headed for the slushie bar. Crushed ice and sugar syrup would do the job for sure. I lined up behind a family who seemed to have more kids every time I looked down at them. It took them about seven minutes to even decide what they wanted, and at least another three or four for the guy behind the counter to fill the cups and pour the syrup on top, and then to take the money and give the change.
Getting bored, I started to look around me. In one direction the vans were selling pizza, doughnuts and cappuccinos for the parents. In the other direction, skinny men and tattooed women were calling passing kids to come and ’ave-a-go on the rifle shooting or the duck catching games. I gazed further, down to the dodgem cars and the ride where you spin so fast you nearly puke, and then it happened again. My eyes found That Boy and my knees buckled underneath me.
‘Oof,’ I said, nearly hitting the ground. The little kids in front of me stopped their whinging for a good two seconds and looked at me like I was some kind of alien. I stood up again, straightening myself out, and carefully peered down in the same direction as before. It was definitely him, and even though I was trying really hard to stay in control, I still felt my heart beat faster.
‘Can I help you?’ called the slushie guy, and my head jerked around to the front. The family with multiple children had taken their cups and disappeared. The guy looked impatient.
‘Oh, sorry.’ I stepped up to the van. ‘Um, maybe just a blue one, please?’
‘Three bucks fifty.’ I scrabbled around in my wallet and passed him some money, then whirled my head back around so I could see down the path.
‘No. Three fifty.’
I looked down at my hand. I had given the guy a two dollar coin. I was going nuts. ‘Sorry.’ I threw my five dollar note at him, picked up my blue snow cone and walked away.
‘Change?’ he called out behind me, but I waved it away. It wasn’t important. The only thing that was important was to make sure He stayed in my eye line. Everything else seemed trivial and stupid. Watching him was the only thing I could do. He moved from side show to side show with a couple of friends, laughing and talking, and I stayed about thirty metres away, hugging the edge of the path. If his face ever pointed in my direction I pretended to look at whatever I was standing next to. He can’t see me, I thought. He can’t know I’m looking at him. My breathing was short and shallow and I wasn’t even tasting my snow cone, even though I was sipping it through the straw.
Just as he was moving away down the path and back towards the dodgems, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I whirled around in shock, only to find Coco and James behind me. Coco’s eyebrows were so high they were practically part of her hair. She was laughing. ‘Where did you go? Dad’s here to get us.’
‘Really?’ I swung my head back around to see if the boy was still there, but it was too late. There was no sign of him or his friends. Everything sank a little inside my chest.
‘Are you still looking at that guy?’ Coco asked. She had a grin as wide as her face.
‘What guy?’ The words snapped out of my mouth. They sounded a lot more defensive than I meant them to.
‘What guy?’ Coco laughed to James. ‘Look at her.’
He smiled, but only a little bit. ‘Don’t be mean to her.’
‘Do you even know who he is?’
I shook my head. I didn’t trust myself to speak.
She gave a tiny shrug, like she was trying to say ‘sorry for teasing’. ‘I’ll find out for you.’
11
Chapter 11
Dad sounded chirpy in the car on the way home and there was a spring in his step as we put Cupcake away and cleaned out the float. ‘Mum’s better today. Lots better.’
I put on some speed and rushed into the house before Coco had even pulled off her boots. ‘Mum? Where are you?’
The house was quiet and still, just like usual.
‘Mu-um?’ I raised my voice.
There was a weak reply from behind Mum’s door. ‘Is that you, Charlie?’
I bumped down the hall, dragging my bag with the ribbons in it. ‘Mum? Are you still in bed? Dad said you were heaps better.’ From the door I saw her face, still pale and so much thinner than it used to be. She was in bed, just like I’d seen her every day for weeks.
‘I was. I even got up. But I
think I used up all my energy.’ She sounded drained and weak, but she put a smile on her face anyway. ‘Did you have a good day? Did you do well?’
I sat down on the bed next to her. ‘It was good. I was so close but Baylor just edged me out in the end. See? I got a second.’ I pulled my Reserve Champion ribbon out and stretched it over the bed cover.
She took a deep breath in and let it out again. ‘You did so well, sweetie. Were you proud?’
I nodded. ‘I missed you though. It hasn’t been the same.’
‘I know. I’m sorry.’ She patted her stomach. ‘It’s the baby, though. She won’t let me just yet.’
‘She? Do you know what it is?’
She smiled and shook her head. ‘No. But I have a strong feeling it’s going to be a girl. And I think she’s going to be a lot like you.’
I forced a smile on my face. ‘Oh.’ I changed the subject. ‘Do you want anything?’
Mum shook her head again. ‘No thanks. If there’s nothing else to tell me, just give me some quiet so I can sleep, okay?’
I sat back and dropped my hand down by my side. So much for being better. I had so much to tell her, but I couldn’t even get half of it out. And now I wasn’t even sure I wanted to tell her anything if she was only focusing on a baby girl who was going to be just like me. I stood up. Don’t make a fuss. ‘Okay. See you later.’
She closed her eyes and waved a hand limply at me and I backed out of the room and shut the door. In the hallway, Coco jumped on me, all bright eyes and excitement. ‘Did you tell Mum about you know who?’
‘What?’ I gave her the best cranky look I could muster. ‘Who?’
She grinned like a mad woman next to me. ‘The Boy. You know who! The boy who made you fall over on the grass. It’s something I’ve never seen before—Charlie in love.’
‘One, I am not in love.’ I tried to put on my most dignified, you-aren’t-bothering-me-in-the-slightest kind of air. It usually worked when I wanted to get Coco off my back. ‘And two, I did not tell Mum about the “boy”, whoever he is, because even though, yes, he’s very good looking, and yes, I may have been a little bit watching him, I’ll probably never see him again in my life, and even if I did, he probably wouldn’t be interested in me anyway.’
‘Why not?’ Her grin was really getting on my nerves.
‘Why not what?’
‘Why wouldn’t he be interested in you?’
I dropped my bag on the ground and gave her a look. ‘I don’t know. Because, well, because …’
‘Because nothing. Because you’re so heaps ugly that no one would ever love you? Nope. Because you’re a terrible rider? Nope. Because you have a really boring personality? Nuh-uh.’ She danced around me. ‘I’m gonna find out who he is. And then I’m going to make sure he notices you. And then …’
‘And then nothing!’ I picked up my bag and swung it at her. ‘It’s none of your business, okay?’
She jumped away from me, looking a little shocked. I made my voice quieter. ‘I’m sorry. But don’t bug me about this. It’s not even important.’
In bed later, I didn’t sleep. Instead, I turned over and over until I almost got horizontally dizzy, if there is such a thing. I looked at the photo of me on Fozzles, pinned up on one wall, and then turned on the other side to look out the window. Even with the curtains closed, there was light sneaking in through the gaps. The moon seemed extra bright, with silver tendrils reaching into my brain and jumbling up my thoughts. I thought about Mum and the stupid baby. I thought about Cupcake and Baylor, and how close I came at the show. I thought about Fozzles and her stomach, growing bigger every single day.
The thoughts swirled and tossed and just when I thought I might be able to let it all go like I normally do, another thought came in, pitched a tent and set up camp in my head. It was him—that boy with the hat and the boots and the jodhpurs, the one who did strange things to my breathing and my balance. He stood there, laughing and chatting in my brain, and didn’t want to leave. Or maybe I didn’t want him to leave. Either way, he stayed, and while one part of me was happier than I’ve ever been before, another part of me was super-annoyed. Was this boy, whoever he was, going to derail my plans?
I thumped my fists into my mattress and sat up. I wouldn’t let him. I was going to win the competition and beat Baylor, and nothing—no babies, no pregnant horses and especially no boys—were going to stop me.
At lunchtime on Monday, Baylor was showing something on her phone to her group of giggling girls when I walked up to them.
‘Good job on Saturday, by the way, Baylor,’ I said, when there was a gap in the conversation. ‘You rode awesome.’
‘See? Pictures of the prize giving.’ She smiled, kind of patronisingly and showed me her phone, with a picture of her, Napoleon and her Champion ribbon at the end of the day. ‘Maybe you’ll do better next year.’
Something in her voice woke up the part of my brain that wants to win, and for some reason, I didn’t shut it down. ‘It was close, for my first competition ever.’
‘Close? It was a good win.’
I looked straight in her face and smiled. ‘It’ll be closer next time.’
There was a gasp from the girls around us, but I didn’t pay any attention to them. Instead, I smiled again and walked down to the oval. I needed to play soccer; my feet were itching to run and kick, and I’d already decided to try to get into whatever game was going on down there, whether they wanted me or not.
A bunch of year seven boys were getting into teams and when I asked to join them they looked almost too nervous to say no, so I put myself on a team, scored three goals and gave them all high fives when the bell went at the end of lunch.
I was wiping my face down and getting a drink from my locker when Coco came running up to me, her face anxious. ‘What did you say to Baylor?’ She half whispered it, looking around her as if she was scared someone might see her.
I shrugged my shoulders. ‘Nothing. Why?’
‘She’s saying stuff about you.’ Her voice was worried.
‘What sort of stuff?’
‘Like, you threatened her. She’s kind of hinting that you cheated in the competition, and it sounds like you said she was, I don’t know, a loser or something.’
I made a face. ‘Really? That’s nuts.’ I shrugged. ‘I don’t care, though.’
A tremor went through Coco’s whole body. ‘You have to care.’
I leaned back against my locker. ‘Why?’
‘Because this is school. Because I don’t know if you realise it, but Baylor is one of the opinion makers around here. Because if she says something, people agree with it and if she hates someone, everyone hates them too.’
I took in a breath and let it out. I could feel a headache starting to press its way up the back of my neck and reach its little hot fingers down into my ears. ‘I was fine to Baylor. I didn’t say anything. Seriously. Nothing bad. And nothing she didn’t ask for, with what she said to me. She can tell what stories she likes. It won’t change what’s true. It was a close result and next time it’ll be closer. If she wants to make up lies, I can’t change that.’
‘But you should go stick up for yourself,’ said Coco, almost pleading now. ‘Or make peace. Do something.’
‘I don’t have the energy for games like that. It’s Baylor’s problem. If she wants to argue with me or be mean to me, she can come do it to my face. If not …’ I shrugged my shoulders, ‘whatever. Anyway, it’s not like I’d know what to say to make it up to her. I’ve just been honest. You’re the one who’s good at all that “she said, no she said” stuff. I just want life to be simple—say what you mean, be honest, don’t get offended.’
I went to maths, I went to English, and I went to textiles. I went home and came to school and went home again, times five or ten or twenty, and I ignored Baylor and whatever she was apparently saying about me. Coco looked anxious and upset, but I ignored that too. It was all too much to deal with so I refused to think about it.
I put my energy into jumping and getting ready for the next competition, practicing every afternoon on Cupcake, down at Ness’s round yard, and I would have been totally focused if it hadn’t been for that boy from the show, who still snuck his way through a door into my head, sometimes at the most ridiculous times. I’ve always been someone who can concentrate, even in the boring classes, like maths. Now though, I found myself forgetting even basic formulas like the circumference of a circle or how to calculate the volume of a cube, just because I was admiring his hat and his laugh and his smile in my head.
‘Get it together,’ I growled to myself, almost out loud, more than once, slapping myself on the cheek. ‘You’ve got to sort this out.’
I decided I didn’t want to think about him and his hat and his smile. And every time I caught myself opening the door to him to say ‘hi’, I pinched my leg really hard.
Ow.
The first time I did it so hard I nearly cried.
Ow, ow, ow.
It worked, mostly, and I’d nearly gotten rid of him, until Coco popped into my room one night, her laptop in her hand, and a sparkle in her eye.
‘I tracked him down,’ she announced, her voice sounding all, ‘clever-me-aren’t-I-great’.
I put my book down on my bed, let out a big sigh and feigned interest. ‘You tracked who down?’
‘Your boyfriend, of course.’
I made a face at her but I didn’t hit her. Even though she was super annoying, she was also heaps cleverer than me at anything to do with people, and much as I wanted to get him out of my head, the very second Coco mentioned him, I realised I also wanted to find out every single thing about him. Starting with his name.
‘He’s not my boyfrie—’ I began half-heartedly, but she didn’t even let me finish.
‘He’s Jake Smith.’ She bounced down onto the bed and pushed her laptop into my face. ‘He’s got a sister in the under twelves section—Talia Smith, in case you wanted to know—and he’s fourteen. Exactly our age!’
I blinked. It was hard to see what was in front of me when everything was so close, so I pushed it back and away and focused on the photo in front of me.
Charlie Franks is A-OK Page 7