Too bad he looked miserable. For a moment she feared she’d completely ruined everything between them. She leaned close to say something reassuring...and froze.
The words going off like fireworks in her head literally made her knees weak.
She’d almost admitted she loved him. The truth stole her breath. She backed up a step. It wasn’t possible to fall in love that quickly. Any fool knew that much.
But then she’d never been in love. Puppy love, yes. In lust, yes. Infatuation, probably. But not real love. Not the crazy, stupid feeling that made your head fuzzy enough to give away your gold watch. How many times had she considered pawning the Rolex to pay rent, buy food and gas, get the credit card companies off her back? She’d tried that one time, and hastily reclaimed it. At the end of the day, she’d decided she’d rather live in her car than give up her grandmother’s cherished gift.
But she knew Tanner needed to keep his buckle, and she hadn’t thought twice. Letting the impulsiveness of her actions sink in, she still had no regret. Given the chance, she’d do it all over again. Was that love?
The sudden noise startled her. Sherry had let out a squeal. Chet’s abrupt laugh bellowed off the walls.
Stunned, Lexy realized she’d missed the last play of the game. She couldn’t see Tanner’s face, so she risked a glance at J.D. Her heart lurched. He didn’t look like a man who’d just lost a ton of money. But then, he didn’t seem happy, either. Which confused her all the more.
Chet clapped Tanner on the back then gave her a huge hug that had her gasping for air. Only then did it sink in that Tanner had won. The final card hadn’t needed to be dealt because J.D. had folded.
Tanner leaned back in his chair and pushed his hands through his hair. He turned to look at her, his expression suspended somewhere between shock and relief.
She smiled, then got out of the way when Sherry threw her arms around him and nearly lifted him out of the chair. Rocky stood, put a hand on J.D.’s shoulder and said something only he could hear. In spite of everything, Lexy felt bad for the man. Not so much about losing the money, but because everyone seemed overwhelmingly glad for Tanner.
To his credit, J.D. simply shrugged, his mouth curved in a faint smile as he sat there watching everyone else celebrate. Rocky moved off to congratulate Tanner, and J.D. glanced at her. She hadn’t meant to look directly into his dark, hazel eyes. She expected resentment, but saw only pain.
He averted his gaze, leaned over the table and picked up her watch from the pile of chips. Very carefully he used the hem of his plaid shirt to polish smudges off the crystal, then held out the Rolex to her.
She took the few steps to reach him, her heart still pounding out of control. “Thank you,” she said, accepting the watch, touched by his thoughtful gesture.
Nodding, he pushed away from the table. “Will’s a good man,” he murmured quietly. “No thanks to me.” He rose abruptly, giving her the impression he wanted to avoid coming off as sentimental. “Seems you two really have something. Don’t take it for granted.”
He met her eyes again, and gave her a small nod as he pushed his chair to the table. Lexy moved back to give him room to exit. Apprehension flickered across his face and he turned back with a worried frown. Calmly, he picked up the cards he’d left facedown and slipped them into the remaining deck.
Lexy wasn’t trying, but she saw the aces before they disappeared. Little as she knew about poker, she understood that Tanner’s father had folded on a winning hand.
* * *
BEHIND HIS SUNGLASSES, Tanner squinted at the highway sign for Amarillo and stifled a yawn. Lexy unscrewed the thermos of coffee and passed it to him. He swore the woman had some sort of radar.
“For the record,” she said, “I still think we should stop at a motel so you can get more sleep. I feel better that we’re already in Texas. Don’t you?”
He wouldn’t feel better until he’d told her the whole truth, made it to the auction, bought his grandparents’ ranch and got to Houston in time for the silly photo shoot. Then, and only then, would he be able to relax. This morning he’d sworn to himself she’d know everything before they left the hotel. But he kept thinking about what she’d done last night. For him. He still had trouble believing it. Would she feel he’d deserved her sacrifice once she knew how he’d misled her?
When he’d initially learned of the auction, he could justify his decision to not tell her everything. Easy, since he’d been in the dark himself. He’d also been protecting her from unnecessary worry. He’d known they’d get to Houston in time.
But then things had changed quickly between them. It seemed that in the space of a day Lexy had become important to him. She wasn’t a good-time gal looking to pass a few pleasant nights with a rodeo champion. They’d told each other stuff, they’d gotten up-close and personal about their pasts and feelings.
He breathed in deeply. And yet he hadn’t been able to admit what was troubling him the most. He’d failed Pop and Nana. A truly good grandson would have known the ranch was in trouble. That’s what hurt the most. He’d tried his best, but obviously his grandparents hadn’t believed they could count on him.
Had he been too busy worrying about taking his last ride as a winner to notice they’d been scraping by? He’d won two world championships. Thousands of guys never came close to that honor, couldn’t even make it on the pro tour. He’d been damn lucky. There was no shame in stepping aside for the new crop of cowboys who wanted to fulfill their childhood dreams. Just as he had done. That was the way of things. But even that wasn’t the issue.
Man, he couldn’t be that guy who chose the rodeo and his ego over his family. That was his father. Not him. And yet that hollow feeling in his gut wouldn’t let him off the hook. If he was the man he thought he was, Pop and Nana wouldn’t be in this predicament. They would’ve reached out to him.
The bitter truth was hard enough to swallow. Now he had to face the sorry fact that he was also a friggin’ coward. He’d purposely duped Lexy, and she didn’t deserve that. He should’ve laid out the problem as soon as he knew what was what. If she decided he was a lousy grandson and a bastard for lying, so be it.
And now he wasn’t sure how to clean up his mess without causing more damage.
After taking a gulp of coffee, he gave her back the thermos. She smiled, and for a moment he convinced himself that everything would work out fine. As long as he was successful at the auction, and then got them to Houston in time, that’s all that mattered. He rubbed her arm, enjoying the silky feel of her warm skin. His good luck had run beyond poker and winning championships. How was it possible he’d found this amazing woman?
“Tanner, I’m serious. You had only four hours’ sleep last night.”
“So did you.”
“But I’m not driving. Although maybe I should. You’ve had quite the heavy foot today.”
“We’ll stop in an hour and see how we feel.” He eased off the accelerator and returned his hand to the wheel. “I promise.”
It had been more like three hours’ sleep, but she didn’t need to know that. Adrenaline had kept him revved long after the game had ended, long after she’d dozed off in his arms. He still couldn’t believe she’d been willing to give up her watch for him. With all her struggles, she could’ve sold it, made her life easier for a while. She’d refused to give in. Yet she hadn’t hesitated to jump in when he was in need.
The thought slapped him with another coat of shame. When she’d first offered the Rolex he’d felt humbled. But part of her argument reminded him he didn’t have a chance at winning another gold buckle. He knew what she’d meant, but it had upset him at first. And even if she had been trying to tell him he was washed up, it was the truth. She wasn’t the coward, he was.
“I’m glad you left some money for J.D.,” Lexy said out of the blue.
Tanner sighed
. “I hope he took it.”
“Me, too,” she murmured, almost to herself, then glanced at her phone.
Again, he had the feeling she was keeping something from him, too. He’d sensed it yesterday and earlier this morning. But he’d chalked it up to his own guilty conscience. Or maybe her shifting mood had to do with her brother. The jerk still hadn’t told her about moving up the photo shoot. Or returned her call.
“Of course it depends on how the bidding goes tomorrow. But anything I don’t need I’m returning to J.D., and then—” From his peripheral vision, he saw her turn sharply to him. “What? I didn’t want to play against him. I was desperate. I’ll still give him back most of the money, even though, technically, I won it fair and square. I’m not a total bastard.”
She was still staring at him. “You said tomorrow.”
His mouth went bone dry at his mistake. “Tomorrow what?”
“The auction. Don’t you mean in three days?”
Had he actually said that? He couldn’t even remember what lie he’d told. Only that the deception had swelled in his throat and now he was having trouble swallowing. He saw a sign for a travel stop five miles ahead. “I’m gonna pull off at the next exit and we’ll talk.”
“So the auction is tomorrow.” Her voice drooped with disappointment. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Can we please wait for me to park so I can explain?”
“Why not?” She turned to stare out her window. “You’ve waited this long.”
“Lexy, don’t.”
“Don’t what?” She looked back at him, her brows raised, one shoulder lifting in casual indifference. “Be disappointed? Be angry? Feel like an idiot?” Her eyes closed briefly. When she opened them again, her expression was so bleak, it hurt to look at her. “So many things make sense now. You never planned to go to Houston, did you?”
“That’s not true. I told you I’d go and I meant it. I didn’t know this thing would happen with my grandparents.” Someone behind him honked. He looked at the speedometer and winced. He must’ve braked and disengaged cruise control because he was driving like an old lady. He pressed the gas and brought them up to the speed limit. “The second the auction is over, we’ll drive to Houston. We’re going to make it on time. I give you my word.”
Her sigh of disgust spelled out just how little his word meant to her. Much as he deserved her disappointment, it still hurt. Man, he hoped she was just overtired, that they could talk this out. He was willing to own the mistake, but would that be enough?
“Lexy, there’s something else about the auction I didn’t tell you.”
“Gee, what a surprise.” She slipped on her sunglasses before turning back to him. “Look, you’re doing this for your grandparents. You had to make a hard choice. I get it. I do. I even admire your loyalty. What I don’t understand is why you couldn’t be honest with me. Instead, you manipulated me...just like—” Her voice broke and she faced the window again.
Like who? Her father? That wasn’t fair. “I never manipulated you. I just wasn’t quick to tell you the whole story—” He paused to exit the expressway, the confession sticking in his throat. “It’s their ranch. The one I’ll be bidding on. They lost it to back taxes.” He kept his eyes on the road, hoping to avoid more of her disappointment. “So yeah, admiring my loyalty to family? Scratch that off the list. I had no clue they were in trouble. I’m a damn lousy grandson. What can I say?”
“Lousy... What, because they didn’t come to you for money?”
He shrugged, suddenly bone weary.
“Perhaps they didn’t ask for your help because you’ve already done so much for Doug, and I’m guessing for them, as well?”
“So? We’re talking about their ranch, not a broken generator. Yet they didn’t feel they could discuss it with me?”
“Sounds familiar. Avoidance must run in your family.”
Tanner clenched his jaw. His playing loose with the truth wasn’t the same thing. He was always going to tell her, it had been a matter of timing. And his intention to make it to Houston had never wavered. They would still be there for the photo shoot. That had to count for something.
“You don’t understand why I’m upset, do you?” Lexy asked the second he parked the truck outside a convenience store. She waited until he looked at her, though both of them were hiding behind their sunglasses. “From the moment I rejected Harvard, I had to fight for my individuality and freedom and not allow my father to dictate my life. I struggled financially, emotionally and many times I came close to crumbling because I wasn’t prepared to give up the privileged life I’d taken for granted.
“But I didn’t give in, and it about killed me to go to my father for a job. I told myself it wasn’t groveling because it’s a family business. It didn’t matter. It felt like begging, and I hated every second sitting in that office, suffering his condescension while he mapped out this ridiculous plan to humble me.” She sucked in a shaky breath. “Now you tell me...after all that, do you really think I need you deciding what’s good for me? You should’ve trusted me with the truth and not fooled yourself that you were saving me worry.” She paused, and lowered her chin. “I deserved to be given a choice about Houston. I still would’ve done anything to help you.”
He studied her ashen face. “Would you have?” he asked, and her brows rose above the dark lenses. “I mean, it’s easy to play Monday morning quarterback. And I don’t doubt you’d like to think you would’ve made that choice. You and I both know me showing up at the photo shoot is a joke, yet you’ve gone to extraordinary lengths to get me there. So maybe we’re both fooling ourselves.”
Her lips parted and color returned to her cheeks. She didn’t speak, just stared at him from behind the dark lenses.
He sighed, trying to figure out if he should regret digging a deeper hole. Hell, she wanted the truth. “I wish I could undo the past few days. I can’t, but I can try to make things right with us.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Lexy, I get it. I was wrong and you have every reason not to trust me. I understand.”
She stayed silent, but what did it matter? He’d known this thing between them would end sooner or later. He slept in a trailer. She liked suites. His carefree lifestyle suited him.
He didn’t have to answer to anyone and he had a lot of fish to catch in the near future. Screw it. Why complicate his life now?
“I don’t think you do,” she said softly. “I don’t think you understand at all.”
“Sure I do.” He restarted the engine. “What I did was kinda like you throwing your watch in the pot. Pretty big decision you made for me. No question your intentions were good. But if I’d lost that hand, I would’ve felt like shit for a hell of a long time.”
17
ABOUT A MILE down the gravel road Tanner turned left into his grandparents’ narrow driveway. Lexy couldn’t see the house yet, but she knew it was a small brick ranch with three bedrooms on forty acres because Tanner had told her that when the tense, silent ride had gotten to them. Three hours seemed like a lifetime when two people didn’t have much to say to one another.
The town was so small it hadn’t taken long for him to track down his grandparents. They’d been staying at a friend’s house while they packed up the last of their belongings at the ranch. Tanner knew they were there now, finishing up. He was in a terrible mood, and not just because of his earlier disagreement with Lexy. He’d learned that Archie, the neighbor who’d called him, had passed on wrong information. There was an auction, but it had nothing to do with back taxes. That’s all she knew.
A few minutes later she saw the house with its wide porch and cheery flower garden. An old, white truck was parked in front, and beside it, a blue compact car that had Tanner shaking his head and muttering. She didn’t bother asking. She just looked around, until she saw the chestnut gelding and bay mare playing in
the corral. The chestnut was a real beauty. Reminded her of Sir Galahad, the horse she’d been given for her twelfth birthday.
Tanner stopped the truck and parked right where they were between the house and barn, blocking everything. She just sighed. She’d hoped to stay in the truck and wait for him from a distance. Under the circumstances, it seemed almost rude to meet his family. After today, she doubted she’d ever see Tanner again.
She looked over at him, her heart catching at the sight of his familiar face...at the tiny mark where he’d cut himself shaving when she’d tickled him. Briefly she closed her eyes, then followed his gaze. A gray-haired man was coming out of the barn, wiping his hands with a rag.
“I’d better warn you, if you’re planning on staying in the truck, Nana won’t have it.” Tanner was looking at her, confusion and regret darkening his hazel eyes.
She didn’t imagine he cared that she was confused herself. He’d had a point about the watch. And it hurt to think she’d threatened him with a bogus lawsuit in the beginning. She’d felt guilty about it later, yet she hadn’t set the record straight. So where did she get off being so angry with him?
The thing was, though, he knew how important it was for her to get him to Houston. She’d told him right after they’d made love. She’d laid herself bare, told him about the shaky relationship with her father, about how much she needed the job. It had never been just about the photo shoot. She needed this win. A lot was at stake, and Tanner should’ve known better than to take the controls from her.
“If it’s any consolation, you won’t be here long.” Tanner had opened his door but was waiting for her answer. “I have to get you to the airstrip within two hours if you want to get to Houston this evening.”
She nodded. Though she knew he wasn’t wondering if she’d changed her mind about his offer. He had a childhood friend with a small plane who could fly her to Houston. Tanner had promised he’d leave right after the auction and meet her there. She didn’t really expect him to.
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