by Kristi Gold
She thought about the night before, their lovemaking. He was wearing her down, wearing her resistance down with every kiss, every touch. “Ash is fine, but I hope you won’t tell him about this little incident.”
“Don’t you think he has a right to know? After all, he is your husband.”
Yes, he was her husband, in name only—and a born protector who valued his control. Telling him that she’d fainted would only unearth that side of him. Things were going so well between them, she didn’t dare upset the applecart. “Look, Daniel, if you must know, I’m pregnant. That’s probably why I got a little dizzy. It’s normal. I’ve promised Mimi I would take it easy.”
He forked a hand through his brown hair and grinned. “I’ll be damned. Congratulations. I’m not at all surprised Ash got you pregnant so quickly. He’s pretty fast at everything he does.”
Except for lovemaking, Karen thought. In that case, he was slow and easy in most instances. Again she recalled the night before on the porch, in the tub, the way he had loved every last inch of her so thoroughly. If she didn’t quit thinking about that, she might faint again.
Karen concentrated on shredding the pastry to avoid Daniel’s continued scrutiny. “How’s Phoebe?”
“Phoebe is great. In fact, that’s the other reason why I’m here. She wants us to have dinner together before we leave town again.”
“I thought you just got back.”
“We did, but we want to travel some, see the world. Phoebe likes a little adventure and I’m just the man to give it to her. Every day and every night.”
No wonder Daniel and Ash were such good friends. They were both class-A rogues. After tossing aside the remnants of her pastry, Karen stood. She already felt much stronger.
“I hate to end our little visit, Daniel, but I have work to do.”
“Okay,” Daniel said as he stood beside her. “But promise me you’ll take care of yourself, okay.”
“Okay.”
“And tell Ash about today. If you don’t, I will.”
Karen’s mouth fell open. “You wouldn’t dare.”
Daniel took his jacket from the adjacent stool and slipped it on. “Yeah, I will. You’re a Barone, and you’re stubborn like the rest of us. You’re also family and I don’t want anything to happen to you because of an overabundance of pride. Ash deserves a healthy, happy wife and child.”
Karen recognized that there was a good deal of logic in her cousin’s words, but she wasn’t sure that informing Ash of today’s events would help their situation. She also realized he deserved the truth. “Okay, I’ll tell him.”
“Great,” Daniel said then headed out the door.
Karen decided that if she sugarcoated the situation, told Ash that she had been a little dizzy today, then she could get by without concerning him too much.
She would tell him tonight, when she returned home.
Ash waited in the den for Karen’s return, nursing a quarter-full tumbler of scotch while attempting to maintain some semblance of calm. Considering what he had learned an hour before, it was all he could do not to down the entire bottle.
He had found out about Karen’s troubles first through Daniel, who had extended a dinner invitation for the evening if “Karen was feeling up to it.” Daniel had said no more other than Ash needed to ask his wife about something that had happened that morning. When he’d attempted to call Karen at Baronessa, Mimi had not been so discreet when she informed Ash that Karen had fainted. The waitress’s assurances that no other episodes had occurred during the day had done nothing to quell Ash’s concerns or his anger over Karen not bothering to call him immediately. Had he not learned that his bride was on her way, he would have gone to Baronessa’s and insisted that she allow him to drive her home.
Ash had struggled with his own guilt over the possible role he had played in Karen’s illness. Last night he had thought of nothing but his own desire to make love to her. She could very well have paid the price for his careless disregard of her condition.
From this point forward, he would implement the greatest of care, treat her in the way she deserved to be treated, even if that meant keeping his hands to himself until he was certain that lovemaking would not compromise Karen’s health or their child’s. A difficult prospect considering how much it had meant to have her ask him to make love to her, how much it had meant to hold her the way he had wanted since the day they had married, how much he’d begun to treasure each moment in her presence.
He battled his own wariness over the vulnerability she had begun to uncover within him. She was everything he desired in a woman, and everything he had feared when it came to matters of the heart. Yet when he heard the front door open, it took all his strength not to go to her and take her in his arms. Instead he forced himself to remain seated and struggled to keep his resolve intact.
Karen walked into the room and he immediately noticed the lack of color in her cheeks. “Hi, there.” Her voice was as fragile as her smile.
Ash decided to maintain his composure and allow her the benefit of an explanation. “How was your day?”
She tossed her purse and keys onto the end table and collapsed onto the sofa. “Hectic.”
“Nothing momentous occurred?”
She pulled her legs beneath her and rolled her neck on her shoulders. “Just the usual.”
Ash took a long drink, leaned forward with his elbows braced on his knees and grasped the tumbler between his palms, his grip threatening to shatter the glass. “Fainting is a part of your normal routine?”
Karen straightened, her eyes wide with comprehension. “Did Daniel tell you?”
“No, not precisely. He did voice his concern over your health as well as his congratulations. Mimi, however, was quite frank.”
She waved a hand in dismissal. “It was nothing. Only a dizzy spell.”
Ash maintained a death grip on the glass while holding on to a thin thread of control. “I do not consider it to be nothing. You’re doing too much. You’re keeping insane hours at Baronessa then coming home to oversee the renovations. Your lack of sleep is also affecting your health as well as our child’s.”
“I’ve been getting plenty of sleep, with the exception of…” Her gaze wavered and a tinge of pink washed over her face. “Last night was an exception.”
Last night was still fresh on Ash’s mind, again feeding his guilt. “I am well aware that my behavior last evening could have contributed to your problems this morning.”
She sighed. “Come on, Ash. We didn’t engage in heavy calisthenics.”
“We were careless. I was careless.”
“You were very careful.”
“Not on the porch.”
“I told you, I’m not fragile. I also told Mimi that I needed to stay off my feet as much as possible. I can run the register while she and the staff wait on customers.”
“And I told Mimi that you might not be returning to work for some time.”
Karen bolted from the sofa. “You had no right to make that decision.”
“What would you have me do? If you will not take care of yourself, then I most certainly will do it for you.”
She clenched her hands at her sides. “I don’t need a keeper.”
Ash set his glass aside, rose and looked into her eyes. “Do you sincerely believe that your current schedule is benefiting our unborn child or you?”
She hesitated a moment before her anger appeared once more. “I wouldn’t do anything, anything, to hurt this baby. It means everything to me!”
“Then you must stop and consider what is best.” Ash decided that moderation in tone would be to his benefit. “You have much to do with the work on the house and the preparation for our child’s arrival. Would it not be best to complete those tasks?”
“But Maria’s gone and Mimi—”
“Assures me she can handle Baronessa. You can maintain communication by phone and supervise from here. I’m certain Maria would find that agreeable.”
Ka
ren lowered her eyes and rubbed a hand across her forehead. “I guess you’re right. My doctor did mention that I might want to take it easy for a few days.” Her gaze snapped back to his. “But after the restoration on the house is complete, I’ll decide then whether to return to work.”
“I respect your decision.”
“And furthermore…” She frowned. “What did you say?”
“I said I respect your decision regarding your work. However, I do hope that we can openly discuss your options when the time comes.”
A fleeting look of surprise passed over Karen’s expression. “Sure. I’m open to discussion. As long as you realize I can be pretty darned stubborn.”
“As I can be at times.”
A hint of a smile curled the corners of her full lips. “Now why doesn’t that surprise me?”
Right then Ash wanted nothing more than to hold her, yet he doubted the wisdom in that, doubted he would be satisfied with only an innocent embrace. Considering Karen’s current problems, he would be wise to temper his need for her, even if it meant he would have to eventually sleep on the sofa. “Daniel has invited us to join him and his new wife for dinner, if you are feeling well enough to do so.”
She tipped up her chin in determination. “I’m feeling fine, thank you. I do need to take a quick bath first.”
He was immediately thrust back to their shared bath, their shared bodies. “We are to meet them in an hour so you have time.”
“Good.”
Ash felt his control faltering with every remembrance of the night before. Felt his body stir to life. “Do you need any assistance, should you become dizzy again?”
“I haven’t been dizzy since this morning.” Her smile was now in full bloom. “And if you help me with my bath, we’ll never be ready in an hour.”
With that she walked away, leaving Ash alone with the realization that in all of his years, he had never met anyone quite like Karen—a self-assured woman whose determination matched his own, whose sensuality and inner beauty drew him beyond desire. And in all of his years of learning, he had never been taught candid expression of his emotions. Yet there had been a time when he had given his all, bared his soul and left his heart open.
Perhaps it was time to face his fears and risk learning to feel again, for both his sake and his wife’s. But if he chose that path, how would he deal with Karen’s departure after their child’s birth? If luck prevailed, he would never have to face that. He would simply have to try harder to convince Karen to stay, even if that meant opening old wounds.
Karen was determined to have a good time, not an easy feat when she watched Daniel and Phoebe from across the dinner table, watched the way Daniel softly stroked Phoebe’s shoulder, occasionally touching her blond hair and hanging on her every word. Despite her jaded perspective, Karen found herself longing to have the same relationship, that same obvious, unconditional love. If only she could believe that that might happen with her husband.
At the moment she felt less than optimistic. Ash had his arm resting casually over her chair, but he’d failed to touch her. He’d barely spoken to her other than to ask her what she wished for dinner. At least he hadn’t ordered for her, allowing her that much freedom. He hadn’t scolded her, either, when she’d picked at her salmon and relinquished her plate to the waiter before finishing half the meal.
Logically, she understood Ash’s concerns and she agreed that taking some time off would be good for her and the baby. But logic didn’t come into play when her fears of being stripped of making her own decisions haunted her, or the fact that she was bordering on a love for him that seemed so completely unwise.
She regretted that she wanted him in her bed, wanted him in her life despite the lack of wisdom in those wishes. Maybe the time would come when she’d be ready to make a commitment. And maybe he would tell her that she was wrong to expect more from him than his role as the father of her child. Was she willing to take that risk?
“Do you know about our cousin, Reese?”
Daniel’s query interrupted Karen’s musings, drawing her back into the conversation. She searched what remained of her brain. “Maria’s brother?”
“Yeah,” Daniel said. “One of Uncle Carlo’s sons.”
“I remember Maria mentioning him once. She said he’s been gone for years.”
“We saw him in Harwichport when we were on our honeymoon,” Phoebe said. “No one in the family has seen him for a long time.”
Daniel took a drink of wine. “You’d probably like him, Ash. He’s used his trust fund to make a fortune as a day trader. Now he basically sails around the world in his schooner. I was surprised to see him back in the States.”
“Considering the number of Barone cousins, I’m surprised I remembered his name,” Karen said.
Phoebe laughed softly. “It’s a large family. But the good thing is, you’ll never be lacking in support.”
Karen appreciated the support she’d received from both Daniel and Maria, yet at times she still felt alone. Or she had until Ash entered her life. “Why did Reese leave?”
“There was a scandal involving a woman,” Daniel said. “A society deb who pinned her pregnancy on him. He refused to marry her even when Uncle Carlo and Aunt Moira insisted he do the right thing. As it turned out, the baby wasn’t his after all. After that, he left and he hasn’t been back. I think he felt somewhat betrayed by his parents’ mistrust.”
“I can certainly understand how that might drive a son from his parents’ home,” Ash said.
Karen was more than curious about the conviction mixed with anger in Ash’s tone, but before she could ask him to elaborate, Daniel said, “Enough about the family. Let’s toast the soon-to-be new addition.”
Phoebe and Daniel raised their glasses of wine while Ash and Karen hoisted their water goblets. Ash had turned down any alcoholic beverages in deference to her condition, something Karen very much appreciated.
When they touched their glasses together, Daniel said, “To Ash and Karen and their baby to be.”
“I was thrilled when Daniel told me you’re pregnant, Karen,” Phoebe said.
Ash touched Karen’s face with a reverence she’d never before experienced. “And I am happy my wife has honored me with a child.”
“To new life,” Phoebe said then gave her smile to Daniel. “And to love.”
Overcome with emotion, Karen was unable to hold back the threat of tears. She excused herself from the table and said, “I’ll be back in a minute. I need to freshen up.”
Ash caught her hand and studied her with concern. “Are you not feeling well?”
“I’m okay. Really.” But she wasn’t.
Karen rushed away from the table, ran from all the love radiating from Daniel and Phoebe. And in many ways she was very much trying to escape her feelings for Sheikh Ashraf ibn-Saalem, but she feared she was already now, and forever, his captive.
Nine
After they arrived home, Karen went immediately into the bathroom to prepare for bed. Many times during the return drive, she’d sensed Ash had wanted to say something, yet he’d remained silent, almost brooding. She had no idea what had brought about his melancholy mood. She had no doubt what had provoked hers. Confusion, plain and simple. So much she needed to ask him, so many things she should tell him.
When she left the bathroom, she found Ash standing on the opposite side of the bed wearing only his pajama bottoms as well as a guarded expression. As Karen began to turn down the covers, he asked, “Would you prefer I sleep on the sofa?”
She paused with her hand on the sheet and stared at him. “Why would I want that?”
“I thought you might be more comfortable having the bed to yourself.”
“It’s a king-size bed, Ash. I barely know you’re there.” An out-and-out lie. She always knew when he was there, and when he wasn’t.
“If you are certain.”
She slipped beneath the sheet and patted the space next to her. “I’m sure.”
&
nbsp; After Ash settled in, Karen snapped off the light. The room went completely dark except for the muted light filtering in from the sheers covering the French doors. As he always did, Ash settled her against him with her back to his front, his arms wrapped securely around her. Silence pervaded and so did the questions whirling around in Karen’s mind.
“Ash, are you awake?”
“Yes.”
“Why do you think that two people as different as Phoebe and Daniel fall in love?”
“I suppose for some it’s not a choice.”
“Have you ever been in love?” When he didn’t immediately answer, Karen added, “I’m sorry. It’s really none of my bus—”
“Once.”
The word echoed in the darkened bedroom. “Oh” was all Karen could think to say. She didn’t want to push him but at least she now had hope that he was capable of loving someone.
“I was very young, and very foolish,” he continued, surprisingly without Karen’s prodding. “She was considered a commoner and my father disapproved. I had been willing to give up my title and inheritance for her, but instead she took the money that my father offered and walked away.”
Karen could tell by his tone that the admission was costing him. “I’m sure that hurt quite a bit.”
“I survived,” he said. “I left my father’s business immediately after that. We haven’t spoken since.”
“And how long ago was that?”
“Fifteen years.”
Fifteen years? “What about your mother?”
“She died when I was in my teens.”
It suddenly dawned on Karen that Ash had lived most of his adult life without his family. At least she’d had the good fortune to have hers around much longer. “Don’t you ever think about making amends with your father?”
“No. His only concern is his wealth, his title. But I assure you that I will not treat our child with such disregard.”
Karen trusted Ash would treat their child with great care. “I still think you should try to talk to him. I mean, regardless of what he’s done, I’m sure he still loves you. After all, you’re his son.”