The fire he stirred inside felt alive—made her feel alive.
She wanted him.
Jana would never, ever, hurt her friend; to ensure it wouldn’t happen, leaving was the only answer.
By the time Jana cleared the table, loaded the dishwasher, and picked up her friend’s clothing and the shoes she’d left behind, Lisa entered looking as fresh as the morning dew wearing a pink sundress and sandals the same color. She was beautiful, but Jana had noticed that her friend had lost a good ten pounds since the last time she visited her. She was almost too thin. And her hair—it used to be long and flowing. It was still beautiful but short, not even brushing her shoulders. Lisa tried to visit at least once a year, always making the trip to California and never asking Jana to return to Arizona.
That was why it had surprised Jana when Lisa admitted to sending Jana’s résumé to Medical Devices. Their hiring manager was at USC interviewing fresh-outs—engineering students right out of college. Lisa had called with the time and place, saying, “The rest is up to you.”
Actually the rest was history. The job sounded fantastic and offered a great career path. The money was more than Jana had expected to receive. When she’d discussed the job possibility with Dr. Tate, she’d said, It would be a good opportunity to vanquish the demons in your life. What do you have to lose?
Her sanity?
Okay, the doctor promised that wasn’t possible, that Jana was ready to begin anew.
So here she was back in Chandler and wrestling with more than past demons—there was a whole crop of new ones to add.
“Are you ready to go?” Lisa asked.
Jana dried her hands on the dishtowel and folded it neatly before setting it on the counter. “Yeah, just let me grab my purse.”
As she headed out of the kitchen and down the hall she met Nicolas. He gifted her with one of his sexy grins. The close quarters of the hallway made it difficult to avoid him as they came within touching distance.
His hungry gaze scanned her from head to toe. “Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are, Jana?”
Unease slithered across her skin. “Shouldn’t you be saying things like that to Lisa and not me, or any other woman for that matter?”
With a brush of his knuckles he smoothed his hand across her cheek. “So soft.”
Jana swatted at his hand. “Stop that. I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I won’t be a pawn in it. I won’t hurt Lisa.”
He ran his fingers across her lips, sending tremors through her body. The smell of soap and aftershave sent her hormones into overdrive. She tried to move, but her damn legs failed her once again.
His laugh held a hint of male satisfaction greeting her frustration.
“It looks like you two will be on your own. There’s a problem at the restaurant. I need to check in.” Before she could dodge him, Nicolas planted a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll see you tonight, doll.” There was a sensual promise in his voice that made Jana more than uncomfortable.
As he moved on, she ducked into her bedroom and retrieved her purse, thankful that when she returned to the kitchen Nicolas was gone.
Lisa was frantically digging through her purse. She pulled out a tablet box and took out a small white pill.
She looked up at Jana and said, “Headache.” Quickly she moved to the cabinet, opened it and grabbed a glass. After using the water dispenser from the refrigerator to fill her glass, she threw back her head, downing the pill and chasing it with a swig of water.
“You okay?” Jana asked.
A tight smile spread across Lisa’s face. “I’m wonderful. Especially now that you’re here.” She went to the table to gather her belongings, put them into her purse and then said, “Let’s go.”
Chandler Mall had been built shortly after Jana left Arizona. It was amazing to see the progress all the surrounding cities had made. Where she remembered fields and more fields of farmland, subdivisions had sprung up in their place. They passed by one and then another new development in Lisa’s yellow Corvette. The rapid growth made it hard to believe she once knew this area.
Big, expensive homes were everywhere, making Jana wonder who could afford such luxury. Every sign they passed advertised homes beginning in the high five- to six-hundred-thousand-dollar range.
Of course, that was nothing compared to the cost of living in California. Dorm life for four years hadn’t been too bad. The last year she shared an apartment with two other women.
However, the job in Tempe that awaited her was a new beginning and the end to a past she wanted to forget. Medical Devices offered a promise of a new life and the means to make it happen. Not to mention she didn’t have to start until late October. That gave her just about two months. She was officially on vacation, a vacation that had started out on really wobbly legs.
With the thought of California, those nagging words from her doctor once again appeared. Don’t put off the ugliness in your life. Face it head on. And most importantly, deal with it immediately.
Jana really hated to bring it up, but for her own sanity she had to ask. “Lisa, you’re not in an abusive relationship with Nicolas are you?”
Lisa reached across the console and squeezed Jana’s hand with hers. Her face grew solemn. “Honey, no. Nicolas would never hurt me.” Then her mouth twisted into a wicked grin. “Unless I asked him to.”
Jana’s mind went blank. “What do you mean?”
Lisa steered her car into the parking lot in front of Robinson Mays. It was already ninety-five degrees and climbing. The temperature in the car was twenty degrees cooler than the outside air.
“Surely you can see that we dabble in bondage and domination.” She released a blissful sigh. “I love to be spanked by him.” Just their luck, there was a parking spot up near the front. As Lisa came to a stop she continued, “It’s a lifestyle neither of us live twenty-four-seven, but we do like to play once in a while. In fact, our relationship is built on the physical. We don’t want anything else.”
Was her friend freakin’ nuts? She had one of the most handsome men Jana had ever seen. He was successful and educated, even if he hid it well beneath a cover of arrogance and authority.
Jana was still trying to process what Lisa had said as they climbed out of the car. Lisa used her automatic lock and the car made a clicking sound as the doors were secured.
“I’m not looking for anyone to tie me down.” Lisa laughed before adding, “Emotionally.” They began to walk toward the entrance of the department store. “Nicolas and I met at a party. He was in between subs and I was in between boyfriends. One thing led to another and we simply hooked up.”
“You can’t possibly go for this bondage, domination thing.” Jana couldn’t help letting her doubt slip into her voice.
A grin spread across Lisa’s face. “Actually, I do. Nicolas is a skillful lover. He isn’t into humiliation or extreme pain, but he can put you on the daring edge.” The sound of their shoes slapping the asphalt rang in Jana’s ears as she listened to her friend. ”Yes, there is some spanking,” she grinned, not looking at Jana, “some constraints, and other delicious things, but there isn’t anything wrong with it.”
The expression Jana held must have given away her surprise, because in the next moment Lisa said, “Hey, don’t knock what you haven’t tried. Maybe someday you can see what I mean. I know Nicolas would be happy for you to join us. Me, too.”
Unbelievable! Jana did not hear her friend just invite her into a threesome. Or did she? She shook her head. Nothing rattled inside, maybe she misunderstood.
Lisa grunted, opening the large glass door and allowing Jana to pass through it before she continued. “I wish I could explain exactly what joy I experience, especially at this time in my life. It’s like releasing all my problems, all my cares, for at least the time I spend with Nicolas. He’s in charge and I’m dependent upon him to see to my needs. My only job is to pleasure him and feel.” She turned her head. “Ohhh, look at that dress.” With that, Lisa’s a
ttention was pulled to a slinky evening gown of black silk.
It was a lot to comprehend. Jana’s mind struggled with the idea of allowing herself to become dependent on another, even letting him tie her up. That would require a hell of a lot of trust, trust she only felt for Lisa. Yet Jana had dreamed of having a man do just that—take care of her. The right man. A good man.
But would that be taking a risk? Sure as hell it would. To allow herself to feel that kind of trust…could she do it?
Trust.
Too many times in her young life she had been rendered helpless and there wasn’t anything pleasurable about the pain or the humiliation. Like always, when she thought of her foster father, her body tensed and she touched the scar at her neck. The thought of trusting any man went straight out the window.
Dammit! If it was the last thing she did, she’d get over her insecurity. Yeah, trust didn’t come easily for her, but she was working on it.
A gentle hand on her biceps brought her out of her wanderings. “Are you okay, Jana?” Lisa had the black gown draped over one arm. “I’m worried about you.”
Jana laid her hand atop Lisa’s. Nodded. “I’m fine. Just never know when the past will raise its ugly head.”
“He can’t hurt you anymore.”
“I know, Lisa.” Jana attempted a smile that fell short. “I’m doing much better. I’m here aren’t I?” She didn’t mention that she’d closed her eyes tightly when they’d passed by her old house. Or that it had taken several miles between her and that house before she could breathe normally again.
Lisa took Jana into her arms. “Yes, you are doing better. Huge step. Major.” She hugged Jana tightly, and then released her. “Now let’s spend some money.”
And spend money Lisa did. If Jana didn’t know better, she would have thought her friend won the lottery or someone had died, leaving her a fortune. By the time they left the mall, both of their arms were filled with merchandise and Lisa had purchased that black evening gown they’d seen earlier for Jana.
“How about a light lunch?” Lisa asked as she pulled into Applebee’s and parked. “Nicolas is taking us to his restaurant tonight.”
Now was Jana’s opportunity to step aside, avoid any uncomfortable situations. She opened the car door, responding as she got out. “You know, Lisa, perhaps I’ll just stay home tonight. I have some reading—”
“No! You can’t,” Lisa replied quickly. “I mean, he’s doing this especially for you. We both want you there.”
“All of this makes me somewhat uncomfortable,” Jana admitted.
Lisa cut the engine. “Then I’ll stay home too.”
“No. You go and have a good time,” Jana insisted.
Lisa shook her head. “We can call for take-out. Then you, Nicolas and I can watch a movie.”
Crap. Okay, it didn’t look like Jana was going to get out of this get together. Which was better, an intimate setting in Lisa’s living room or a restaurant full of people? She would just make sure that Nicolas and she were never in a room alone. Ever!
Chapter Six
“What? You’re a connoisseur of fine wine and women?” Jana knew she sounded condescending, but she couldn’t help it. The damn man stroked every woman walking by with his hungry gaze.
He brought his attention back to Jana, sliding his eyes over her light green silk blouse. “No. It’s just that I appreciate each one.” The short, emerald green skirt Lisa insisted she wear was creeping up her thighs. She resisted the urge to tug it further down her legs.
She snorted. “Appreciate. Yeah. Right.” Just her luck. The call Lisa received from the medical center had taken her away before she could even order dinner. Now Jana was stuck in this circular booth with the one man she swore she never wanted to be alone with.
It wasn’t safe to be alone with him. He did something to her libido the minute he came into the room. Now he was only an arm’s length away, causing her heart to pummel her chest. His white polo shirt stretched tight over his chest. His tanned skin begged to be touched.
Among the tinkling of silverware, forks and knives striking plates as people ate the delicious offerings of Marchetti’s. Marchetti’s was a large restaurant with booths aligning the wall, tables in the center. Grape vines bordered the ceilings. Exquisite art donned the walls.
“Take for instance the brunette at the table in the corner, by herself,” Nicolas continued. Jana’s vision followed the path of his gaze. “Some would call her homely.”
Yes. Jana could see that. The woman was thin. Her short hair was dull and lacking luster. Her facial features were uninteresting and non-descriptive. The poor woman was boring.
He inhaled deeply. Jana didn’t know if it was the Chicken Parmesan the waiter just passed by with or if Nicolas was trying to breathe in the woman’s perfume from a short distance away.
His expression softened. “Look at her hands. Delicate. Soft.” He pinned her with a look as if he were staring at a runway model with appreciation and lust. “See the way she holds her wine glass, strokes the shaft slowly, gently. That is how she would touch a man.” His voice lowered, dropping deeper and quieter. “She would touch to please. Find the secret spots that would release the animal in her man.” A fire burned in his eyes as if he believed his own words. Then he sighed and leaned back in his seat. “But sadly, many men would pass her by, her love lost on a passing affair, because he couldn’t see what I see in her.” He paused and took a sip of his wine. “She would also make a good mother. Her children would be cherished.”
Jana couldn’t help staring at him in disbelief. Was this man for real? Good looking, sexy and passionate, and a hopeless romantic, too.
“She went from sex goddess to mother in one leap. What makes you think she would be a good mother?”
He smiled as if he knew a secret. “See the family in the corner booth?”
How could Jana miss them? The noise was enough to make someone think they were at the playground instead of the posh restaurant Nicolas owned.
Beneath a beautiful chandelier that sparkled with elegance, a flustered mother and father had their hands full with three rambunctious boys. Corralled between the adults it was one fight after another, until they separated the hellions by placing one at each of their sides, which now allowed the children on the ends freedom to roam, sticky fingers touching the marble statues and fresh flower arrangements adorning the room. It was like herding cats to keep the boys contained within the booth. Their parents’ expressions were haggard and tired.
“When the three-year-old passed by her a moment ago she struck up a conversation with him. Then she wiped his running nose. Most people would have ignored him, found him annoying, even disgusting. She didn’t.” He shook his head. “Wouldn’t.”
As he spoke it was as if the woman morphed into this beautiful creature. Features Jana had never recognized were now apparent like her hands, her slender neck, and the unusual violet of her eyes.
Jana glanced back at Nicolas. He was staring at her. “What?”
“Do you want me to tell you what I see in you?” From the hungry look on his face she would rather not.
“No.”
Again, he leaned back in the booth. That mischievous grin she remembered back when she used to watch him with his friends slipped across his face. “Scared?”
Hell yes she was scared. She had always wanted this man. The years hadn’t changed anything. “Not interested.” She played indifferent, reaching for her wine and taking a sip. Then she released a heavy sigh to drive the point home.
A light danced across his features as his grin grew. “Liar.”
“Whatever.” She brushed him off with a tilt of her head. But if she thought that her impassive behavior was going to stop him, she should have thought again as she took another drink of her wine.
“You are scared—scared of the attraction between us.”
When his foot slid up her leg, Jana choked on the alcohol that chose that moment to go down the wrong way. Air. She nee
ded air as her windpipe closed.
Within a heartbeat, Nicolas was by her side. “Gentle breaths.” He patted her back. “One and then another.”
I’m dying. She wheezed in a breath that went nowhere. She inhaled again, making a rather unbecoming sound like a cross between a snore and an asthmatic attack. The whole time Nicolas was there, talking, touching her softly.
It took a moment, but finally Jana could breathe again. Her eyes were misty and nose running as she excused herself and hurried toward the bathroom.
What the fuck! She leaned against the counter and stared at herself in the mirror. It was no mistake that Nicolas was coming on to her. And there was no mistake that Lisa didn’t mind. How Jana wished she could deny that he made her body burn. She had fantasized about being with him since she was just a teenager. What would it be like to make love to Nicolas Marchetti?
She couldn’t—could she?
Nah… She shook her head. It would be weird. He was Lisa’s boyfriend. But the fact was, she needed to feel the touch of a man. She wanted to find someone to love.
Nicolas just wasn’t the man for her.
Jana grabbed a tissue, dabbed her eyes, then blew her nose with a loud snort.
She needed a plan to get through dinner and then go home alone.
Concerned, Nicolas watched the bathroom door, and was relieved once Jana exited. He stood as she approached. Her eyes were swollen, her adorable nose red. “Are you okay?”
“Fine.” Sitting at one end of the crescent-shaped booth, she refused to scoot over, forcing him to sit at the other side. “The wine just went down the wrong pipe.” Picking up her glass, she hesitated then set it back down.
He slid clear around on the semi-circular seat until he was within touching distance from her. Her mouth went dry. She glanced at him, feeling her palms start to sweat.
The salad had arrived in her absence, and he busied himself tossing it, mixing the dressing and cheese, before placing a generous helping on her plate.
When he attempted eye contact she glanced away. She had grown distant, not that she had previously been warm by a long shot. He was back at ground zero.
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