“Yes,” she cried out. “Harder.”
His nostrils flared. Blood rushed to his testicles, drawing them tight against his body. There was no way he could stop his climax as it thundered down his shaft and exploded.
Jana cried out. Her pussy contracted and clenched around him, holding him tightly. She writhed beneath him, whimpering as spasm after spasm continued to milk him. After his release, the tip of his cock always became sensitive, so sensitive that every movement she made drove him closer to the point where pleasure and pain met. He needed her to stop squirming—prayed she wouldn’t.
When Jana lay quietly beneath him, he rolled over and pulled her into his embrace. The blissful sigh she released made him smile. But his happiness was short-lived.
The night was slipping away much too quickly. Tomorrow when they woke, their time together would be over. The reality of their situation waited for them in Arizona.
After this week there was no way he could go on hiding his feelings for Jana. He cared deeply for Lisa, but Jana held his heart in her hands. Jana was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
The bond between the women was strong, stronger with the physical intimacy they now shared. The question of the day was whether Jana’s desire for marriage and family was stronger than her need for Lisa. And would he lose Jana if he gave her an ultimatum to choose between him and Lisa?
Chapter Twenty-One
As the hundred-degree weather in Phoenix, Arizona blazed across Jana’s face, she felt a flood of disappointment. Life went on and her brief escape from reality was over. Watching Nicolas loading their luggage into the back of his truck, she thought of Lisa. It was one excuse after another why her friend couldn’t or wouldn’t join them in Puerto Vallarta. The last time Jana had called her there had been no answer and it had been nearly midnight.
A moment of optimism surfaced. Maybe Lisa had found another man. Maybe there was a chance for Nicolas and Jana to become a couple. But as quickly as the idea rose, it vanished.
Who was she kidding?
What woman in her right mind would give up Nicolas? Not to mention, what man would take one woman when he could have two in his bed?
Jana couldn’t push away the additional feelings she had developed over the last week for Nicolas. He had opened up something in her she had never known existed—the need for a man in her life. She needed to feel loved and wanted. And she wanted more than ever for that man to be Nicolas.
“Glad to be home?” Nicolas asked as he held open the truck door. Unlike when they departed for Old Mexico, the airport’s parking garage was nearly empty. Yet, the smell of oil and gas was strong.
No. Staying in Puerta Vallarta with Nicolas would have been her first choice. Still, she placed a false smile on her face and looked into his eyes. “Yes.”
He drew her into his embrace, an expression of hope on his face. “I’m not buying that. Tell me to take you away and we’ll jump on another plane to anywhere in the world you want to go. Tell me that you love me and I’ll never let you go.” He squeezed her tight. There was an ache in his voice, something she had never heard before.
Jana’s heart lurched against her ribcage with a thud.
If only that were true.
Her emotions were too raw to take his teasing banter as a joke. Yet, she shored up her shoulders, giggled and playfully pushed out of his arms. “Get serious, Nicolas. We both have to be at work next week. Besides, what about Lisa?”
His soft expression hardened. He moved aside and allowed her to climb inside the truck. The slamming of the door startled her and she jumped. When Nicolas crawled in beside her, he was frowning.
The silent ride to Lisa’s house set Jana on edge. Nicolas never once glanced her way. She knew because she would have caught him as her gaze continued to stray in his direction. He acted mad. Surely he was just kidding when he offered to take her away again. When he asked her to tell him she loved him.
Love? What did she know about love anyway?
As they pulled down Lisa’s street Jana’s old home came into view. The sadness and fear it usually conjured didn’t appear. She felt stronger. Nicolas and Lisa had given her that gift. She now had the strength to face her demons and to realize that the past was just that—the past. Their support had helped get her to this point. Her foster father could never hurt her again.
Jana’s gaze slipped further down the street toward Lisa’s house. There was a strange car parked in the drive. For a moment Jana panicked, wondering what to do.
What if Lisa had a man in her bed?
Then she saw Cathy, Lisa’s mother, exit the house, Joe following behind her. A ray of happiness filtered through Jana. She hadn’t seen them for five years.
Their heads were low as Joe opened the passenger door to the Cadillac and stepped aside, allowing Cathy to get in. Nicolas pulled his truck beside them. Instead of the shared happiness Jana felt for seeing them again, they glanced nervously toward each other with dread in their eyes.
Jana couldn’t help bounding from the truck, not waiting for Nicolas, and throwing herself in Joe’s arms.
“Jana.” Lisa’s father had aged significantly since Jana last saw him. With an iron-tight grip, he wrapped his arms around her. “Jana,” he repeated and she thought she heard a tear in his voice.
He had missed her. Her mood lifted as if she floated on a cloud.
Cathy climbed out of the car and the first thing Jana noticed was that she’d been crying. Her swollen eyes and pink nose were a dead giveaway.
Jana eased out of Joe’s embrace. “What’s wrong? Where’s Lisa?” The big man turned away from her, refusing to look her in the eyes.
Cathy swallowed hard.
The safe, secure shell that Jana had felt only seconds ago began to crack. It rang in her ears and she could almost feel it shattering around her feet.
The sad expression on Cathy’s face made something twist in Jana’s belly. “Is Lisa okay?” she whispered the words, afraid of the answer.
Cathy came to her arms opened wide. “Jana, dear.” But before she reached Jana, a river of tears began to fall. Her body shook as she held Jana as tightly as Joe had. “Lisa is in the hospital,” Cathy choked.
Jana’s grip tightened. Her knees felt rubbery. She was afraid she would fall if it wasn’t for Cathy’s hold.
“Hospital?” Fear stuck in Jana’s throat as they parted. “What happened?”
A sorrowful expression etched wrinkles deeper into Cathy’s forehead. Her tongue flicked out over her dry lips. “She asked us not to say anything. She wants to tell you herself. She’s expecting you.”
Jana’s hand gripped Cathy’s arm. “No. Tell me now. What’s wrong? Is she okay?”
From behind her Nicolas’s arms snaked around her waist. His warmth as he pulled her back to his chest did nothing to chase away the cold that drove straight to her bones.
“Release her, Jana.” When she didn’t comply he pried her fingers off of Cathy’s arm, which now sported Jana’s fingerprints. “I’ll take you to the hospital. Which one?” he asked.
“Banner Desert Samaritan Hospital off of Dobson,” Joe replied, as he took his now sobbing wife into his arms. “We’ll follow shortly.” He cradled Cathy and began to stroke her head buried against his shoulder. “Hush, sweetheart. Hush.”
“Jana?” Jana heard Nicolas say her name. There was no use in responding, because she couldn’t. It was as if her body and mind had begun to shut down to survival mode. She knew the feeling well, but this time she felt completely alone.
Like a zombie Jana allowed Nicolas to lead her to the truck. The bewildered and lost look on her face squeezed his heart. She was afraid for Lisa, as he was, and there was nothing he could do.
Lisa’s parents were devastated. Something was clearly wrong. But if Lisa could talk, if she was conscious, then it couldn’t be all that bad. Could it?
His truck purred to life. He shifted into gear and headed back toward town.
Miles w
ere left behind as Jana leaned against the truck door and turned her head to stare out the window. She was eerily silent and strangely apathetic, at least on the exterior. She was a hard woman to understand.
No outburst.
No tears.
He glanced in her direction. Had he ever once seen her cry? No. Her eyes had misted on occasion, but never tears. Never a loss of control.
This can’t be good, he told himself. His mother once told him that tears were a woman’s release. The key to what was important to them. They signaled joy as well as pain and agony.
The only movement that showed any sign of nervousness was when she flexed her fingers and then drew them into a tight fist. Then he could see tension gather along the tendons in her arms, up her neck, and her jaw.
As they pulled into a parking space at the hospital she turned to look at him, opened her mouth as if to speak, and then shut it and glanced away. He turned off the engine and expected her to spring from the truck. Instead she remained motionless staring straight ahead.
“I can’t do this,” she mumbled.
After climbing out of the vehicle, he moved around the truck and opened her door. He stood quietly and waited.
“I can’t,” she whispered so softly he barely heard her.
“Whatever is going on, Jana, I’m sure Lisa needs you.” He paused. “And you need her.” His hand reached out to her. “Let’s go inside.”
Jana tugged her brows together, as if thinking hard about refusing him. Then she placed her hand in his. He pulled her into the shelter of his body, while she clutched her palms tightly together and remained quiet.
Even when they stopped at the information desk and discovered that Lisa was located in the hospice wing of the hospital she remained quiet.
Hospice? A chill raced up his spine. That could mean only one thing and it wasn’t good. Hospice handled only terminally ill patients. He glanced at Jana. Had she made the connection?
The elevator ride to the fourth floor was solemn. When the doors opened, nausea washed over him and for a moment he thought he’d be sick.
Only the terminally ill resided on this floor—no recovery—no hope was in this wing of the hospital.
It was probably just his imagination, but it smelled of death as they exited the elevator.
Room 420 was to the right and the door was closed. When he placed his hand on the doorknob, he looked down at Jana. She’d grown pale and her chest rose and fell rapidly.
A door had never looked more ominous than the one before Jana. She was afraid to touch it, afraid to walk onward as Nicolas opened it. But more importantly she was afraid not to.
Holding her breath, she took one step and then another until she was inside. Lisa’s blonde head was turned away, but when she heard their footsteps she rolled over to face them.
“How was Mexico?” Lisa smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She looked weary, troubled, but not exactly how Jana had expected. There was no oxygen mask, no intravenous tubes. Lisa just lay there wrapped in her silky pink lingerie, a white sheet and blanket pulled up to her waist.
Jana wanted to scream, How was Mexico? But she stood silently, waiting—just waiting.
It was Nicolas who spoke next, “Boy, did you miss a wonderful trip.” As if everything were normal, he approached Lisa, leaned over her and pressed his lips to hers. Then he cupped her hand in his. “What’s going on here, baby?” He sat down at her side, the bed creaking beneath his weight.
Nicolas looked calm, so in control that Jana would have given anything just to have an ounce of his courage at that moment, because she had none. She didn’t want to know what was going on. She just wanted to take Lisa home. Wanted to pretend her best friend wasn’t lying in a hospital bed. And she wanted to forget what she knew about hospice.
“Jana.” Lisa patted the bed on the other side of her.
As if lead suddenly filled her legs, Jana found it difficult to move. Every step was an ordeal, coupled with her breathing, which had taken that moment to stop. Jana felt like she might faint.
Lisa held out her hand and Jana accepted it, sitting on the other side of the bed from Nicolas. “What a homecoming.” Her friend’s laugh was uneasy. Moisture built in her eyes and for a moment Jana thought Lisa would cry, but she swallowed and pushed back the unshed tears. She took a deep breath and said, “I have ovarian cancer.”
Silence followed her statement.
Jana couldn’t think clearly. Had Lisa just said she had cancer?
Nicolas brushed a lock of hair from Lisa’s face.
Lisa bit her bottom lip. With a gasp, she inhaled a shaky breath. “I’ve known for a while. But it looks like time is running out for me.”
This wasn’t happening. Jana refused to accept what she was hearing. Her friend was sick—terminally ill.
Nicolas slowly rose to his feet. “Lisa, what are you saying?”
For a moment she simply looked at him, then she looked away. “I’m dying.” Lisa’s words were surreal.
Jana jerked her head from side to side, trying to chase away the threads of fog that wound around her mind like tentacles. It wasn’t real. She closed her eyes and prayed that when she opened them this would all be a hallucination.
Lisa’s voice then Nicolas’s, but Jana couldn’t hear what they said, their speech mere mumbles to her. When she opened her eyes, Nicolas’s lips parted, but he said nothing.
Lisa seemed to know what Nicolas’s next question would be. “I’m in the last stage. Soon.” Lisa sniffled and rubbed her nose. She fought to hold back the tears, blinking her eyes and swallowing hard, but it was no use. They fell, releasing the hopelessness Jana felt as she jerked to her feet.
“No,” Jana’s knees buckled slightly, but she regained her footing as she began to pace. “No. No. No.” She trembled as her voice rose in pitch. “We’ll find another doctor.” The room began to spin. She held out her hands to catch herself, and then drew them tightly around her.
Any moment she’d wake beside Nicolas and they would be back in Mexico, waiting for Lisa to join them. This couldn’t be real.
Lisa said she would never leave me.
Lisa tried to smile through her emotion. “That’s why I didn’t go to Puerto Vallarta with you two. Mom and Dad took me to another specialist.” She tilted her head and shrugged. “He was my last chance.” Sucking in her bottom lip, she bit down hard enough to leave an imprint when she released it. “He can’t do anything for me. No one can.” Tears fell in streams. A none-too-delicate snort slipped out as she tried to rein in her control. “My head hurts all the time now. I’m forgetting things, my equilibrium is gone, and my mood swings are increasing.” The low-toned laugh she released was drowned by her emotion. She swallowed hard again, the tears still flowing. “Morphine is the only thing that curbed the pain these last few days.”
Jana held up her hand. She didn’t want to hear any more. The need to flee was strong, building like an undercurrent, demanding that she run far and away like she had after graduation. She spun around, staring at the door as if it were beckoning her. Before she could lunge forward she was wrapped in Nicolas’s embrace.
She struggled, making whimpering sounds that made him hold her tighter. Her breasts rose rapidly with each tight breath.
“Let me go.”
“Lisa needs you now. Hold it together,” he whispered close to her ear.
Damn Nicolas for reminding her that Lisa was the victim here. Lisa was the one dying, although it felt like Jana was withering inside.
“You can do this. We’ll do it together. You…Lisa…and me,” he promised, releasing her. She gazed into his eyes, wanting to believe him, needing to trust him that her world wasn’t falling apart. But despair like she had never known closed in on her, attacking, an invisible force that dropped her to her knees.
She gasped, but she couldn’t inhale—couldn’t breathe.
The thrumming in her ears grew louder.
The lights were dimming, fading.
&n
bsp; No sounds penetrated.
All feelings and sensations were going numb.
She was falling…
As she slipped deeper, Jana was surrounded by a nothingness that threatened to swallow her up. She didn’t have the strength to fight it. Instead, she welcomed it.
Take me.
There was a peace she had never known, a vacuum that carried her further away.
From somewhere in the dark she heard her name. It was only a whisper, but it pulled at her like a magnet, drawing her toward a light in the opposite direction.
“Jana.” The deep voice was firm, demanding her obedience, but she fought it. She didn’t want to go where it led.
For the first time in her life it was safe here in the dark.
For a moment she stared at the light. It was cold and held pain and loneliness.
“Jana.” This time the voice was feminine—softer and desperate to be heard, pleading to draw her back into the light.
As the two voices joined together, interweaving and wrapping around her like chains, they took a unified front, closing in on Jana and taking away her ability to struggle, her ability to escape.
A strong ammonia smell jerked her toward the light as if it ripped her through time and space. Sensations and consciousness flooded back in a wave of nausea that hit with such an impact for a moment Jana thought she would vomit.
Like a fish out of water she gasped for air, trying to suck oxygen into her starved lungs as fast as possible, only to hear voices telling her to slow down—take it easy.
Her body ached. Her vision was a shimmer of light and dark shadows as familiar faces came into focus.
Nicolas cradled her in his embrace. Cathy, Joe and a nurse she had never seen before hovered above. From the bed where Lisa lay, her tear-streaked face appeared ragged with concern.
“She’s back,” Jana heard the nurse say.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Night had fallen and the hospital room was dark. Nicolas shifted in his chair beside Lisa’s bed. Her form lay silently between a mass of sheets and blankets, her breathing so shallow it was almost unrecognizable. The morphine had put her out like a light. Had it been four hours ago? After Jana’s episode, Lisa had had one of her own.
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