I held my hand over hers, teaching her without words how to jack me off, happy I wasn’t going to bed with blue balls.
“Like this?”
“Hmm, yeah, just like that,” I moaned, my hand falling away from hers, letting her take control, “take your pants off and let me come on your pussy.”
“Jesus, Ollie.”
I couldn’t help it and it was her fault. I’d learned early on when to push and when not to. I knew this demeanor and I pushed. “Come on. Just slide out of your pants so I can see.”
“I don’t want to do that. You said you wouldn’t make me do stuff I didn’t want to do.”
“No, I said, I wouldn’t fuck you until you told me to. I still want to see it. Please:”
“I hate when you beg.”
I bounced her on my knees, making her move without choice. “I hate when you procrastinate. Come on. Take them off.”
Jaq stood because I didn’t give her a choice, her hip cocking to the side with a propped closed fist. I glanced up at her annoyed expression and slid her pants down myself, my hands gliding down her ass. My lips kissed her stomach and my hands pulled her back to my lap. God, I wished she’d just slide down my shaft, but she didn’t. She wrapped her hand around it and continued where she left off, stroking it like she’d been doing it forever.
I placed my hands on the outside of her legs, watching her stroke me, her pussy the perfect background. In all honesty, as much as I wanted to sink balls deep into her, I was happy with this. Jaq was so fucking hot, and she didn’t see it, but I did. Her body made my dick hard just looking at it.
Jaq stroked me, trying her best to do a good job. She did. She did an amazing job. All the way up until the finale. I felt the building from the pit of my stomach, my body stiffening, fighting the urge to come. With one leap and two steps, I laid her on the bed and opened her legs, taking over, ready for the climax.
“Oh yes. Mmmm,” I rasped, one hand jerking hard and one holding out on her knee, my head bumping her clit with every stroke. I had to force my eyes to stay open, wanting to see it, watch it coat her little nub and run down her slit. That’s not what I did at all. I hit the target I aimed for, but I hadn’t planned on moving her fingers to rub it in. Of course, I had to help her, but she did it, implanting yet another euphoric memory in my mind. I fucking loved it, and I would wait for as long as she needed me to wait. I loved her, and I wasn’t ashamed of that. I didn’t care if the entire world knew.
That’s how the rest of the week went. I made Jaq forget about her childhood by filling her days with love. I admired her, picked her flowers, bought her special gifts when I went into town, including two baby lambs which she fell madly in love with, kissed her every chance I got, and kept her mind occupied and eventful. We were busy, never bored. Even when we could have been we weren’t. A rainy day only meant doing the things inside that needed done, together, laughing and talking, sometimes talking about her childhood, the things she’d gone through, and sometimes talking about me. My work, all my degrees and jobs, me and Silas, and my dad. Although I was sure there were still things Jaq hadn’t disclosed, she told me a lot.
One day when we were taking a break from sanding the hardwood floors in the kitchen, she told me about the nights she had spent in the bathroom with her mom as a little girl. I listened, pretending not to know about her sleeping in the bathroom, trying to lock herself away from the bad men. That’s what her mom did with her. Jaq slept in a bathtub while her mom paced the floor, waiting for daylight. And then…I held her on the floor while she cried, kissing her head and trying like hell to soothe her soul. She deserved to be happy for the rest of her life after all the shit she’d been through, she deserved it, and I was just the man to do it. And I would. If it took the rest of my life, I would make her happy. Not okay, not like everyone else happy. Just happy.
Chapter Eighteen
I didn’t even see him. Cleo did. Her first real bark ever. Jaq was laying on her back in the grass while I planted the bush we’d ordered from a mail order catalogue; sure it would never make it. That’s how it came. Half dead. My eyed looked to Cleo and then the frightened expression on Jaq’s face. She was up on her heels, ready to run when I looked to see what everyone was so worked up about, an instant smile taking over my face.
I let my gloves fall to the ground and walked toward him. “Silas! What the hell are you doing here?”
Silas picked up Leo, climbing up his legs and looked around, his hand shaking mine while our shoulders bumped. “Wow, this looks amazing. You’ve been busy. Hey there, little guy. Who are you? Huh?”
“That’s Leo. Come here, Jaq. This is Silas. My brother.”
Like an idiot, Silas spoke to her like she was not only deaf, but dumb as well. “Hello, Jaq. How. Are. You?”
Jaq’s eyes were wide, her fear instant. She didn’t answer, but she did scurry off, hiding inside the house.
“You’re an asshole. What the hell?”
“What? What’d I do?”
“You can talk to her like any girl. She’s not stupid.”
“Sorry, Jesus. It’s nice to see you, too.”
“Well, damn it, Silas. You should have told me you were coming so I could have prepared her.”
“You would have told me no.”
I shook my head and walked away, my jaw aching from a tight clench. “I’ve got to go after her.”
“You opening a zoo? Is that sheep?”
I counted kittens as I walked inside, sure Jaq had missing Wren with her. “Yes, their clearing the brush around the boulders, and no. No more animals, that’s it. There’s beer in the fridge. I’ll be back.”
“What about food? I’m starving. Got anything to eat?”
I only said it because I knew he hated it. “Yes, plenty. Help yourself. There’s left over spaghetti in the fridge.”
“Fuck that.”
Finding Jaq exactly where I knew I would find her, I tapped two knuckles on the door. “Open the door, Jaq.”
“No. I’m using the bathroom.”
“You are not. Open the door. It’s Silas. I want you to meet him, Jaq. You’ll like him. I know you will.”
“I already don’t like him.”
“Open this door.”
“I just told you I was on the toilet.”
“But you’re a liar. Open it or I’m going to go get a screw driver and take it off the hinges.”
The door clicked and Jaq opened it, Wren snuggled in the crook of her neck sound asleep. “What’s he doing here? I don’t like it.”
I took her hand and pulled her to me. “Do you honestly think I’d let anyone spend the night here that I didn’t trust?”
Jaq tried to close the door, but my foot stopped it. “He’s spending the night? That’s just great.”
“Yes, in the other room, and you’re spending the night right here with me, in my arms. Come on. I’m not going to let you lock yourself in the bathroom all weekend.”
Again, she tried to close the door. “All weekend?”
God, I loved her. I reached for her, locking one finger around hers and pulled her into our room, to my chest where I could kiss her forehead. “I’m not going to let you do this. You’re coming out with me, you’re going to hang with me and Silas this weekend, and you’re going to be fine.”
She used the name everyone else called me to express herself more, an exclamation mark behind the begging. “Oliver, I can’t do that. Please don’t make me. You go hang out with your brother. I’ll just stay here. Please.”
“No. That’s dumb. Silas is a riot. You’ll love him, I swear.”
“I’m not going to love him, Ollie. I’m not like that. I can’t just go out there and hang out with your brother. I can’t.”
I held her face and lifted her chin with my thumbs, kissing her soft lips. “You don’t have to do anything, but stay by my side with your hand in mine. That’s it.”
“I don’t like you much either.”
My lips smiled on h
ers and I kissed her, scrunching her face with my hands. “That’s too bad, I sort of love you.”
“Then leave me alone,” she pleaded and I pulled her to the kitchen with Silas, a beer in one hand and a chunk of cheddar cheese in the other.
Jaq’s feet shuffled behind me until I stopped, slamming her into my back…where she stayed. She hid there, squeezing my pinking and ring finger.
“I’m impressed, Oliver. You’ve done a lot of work. This place looks amazing.”
“We did a lot of work. Jaq helped, didn’t you,” I coaxed, trying like hell to get her to open up, taking an elbow in the back instead. A silent shut the hell up. I had to pull on her arm to get her to sit in the chair beside me, but she did it, with a nasty look of course.
An awkward silence filled the room while Silas scrutinized her. I gave him a threatening glare when she dropped her head.
Silas shrugged his shoulders mouthing a silent, what?
“So what brings you to the lake, Silas?” I questioned in a smart tone.
“I just thought I’d come and hang out with you for a couple days, do some fishing, and maybe go out for a few beers.”
“We can do some fishing, just stop being a douche, and I’m not going out drinking.”
“Come on. I’ve been in business meetings all week. I need to let loose if you know what I mean.”
“I’m sure you can find that without me. I’m not going out, Silas.”
Silas didn’t go out either. Not that night. He did make another beer run, but he came right back. We sat out in the flower garden around the new table we’d just gotten from Amazon. I hated it at first. It wouldn’t have been my first choice at all. I thought the green table with red cushions would clash with the lake view and the plants around it, but I didn’t say anything. I let Jaq pick it out and was glad I did. It was perfect.
Jaq never said a word. Not one, but I did see a hidden smile here and there. Especially when he played with her babies. Silas was always the animal lover of the family. I was more like my dad. They just weren’t my thing. Jaq loved that he gave them so much attention. I could tell. That right there was the only thing he had going for him. Had he not been so attentive to her animals, he’d never have gotten a second glance. He even remembered all their names. I still had a hard time with that. The kittens looked a lot alike, especially Ivy and Finn, or maybe it was Ivy and Wren, and even Mama Quinn went to him. She sat right on his lap and let him rub under her neck while he told me about some jewelry store merger he was working on. Stupid traitor cat. She wouldn’t let me get close to her.
“So yeah, I’m probably going to be using your condo a lot for the next few months. You can put it on the market when I’m done there. Too bad you’re not still there. We could have hung out; been roommates for a minute.”
“I like my roommate just fine, thanks, and this beats the hell out of the city.”
Silas frowned at his phone, half paying attention. “I’ll be right back. I’ve got to answer this guy and take piss. Hop down, Miss Kitty, Namaste.”
Quinn hopped to the ground gracefully like a dancer and Silas walked away, his silhouette quickly lost in the dark pines.
Jaq turned to me with a frown, speaking for the first time in hours. “What does that mean, Ollie? Namaste? Why did he say that to Mama Quinn?”
I shook my head, my eyes rolling to the left. “It’s something my dad used to say. Namaste, it means like—like.”
Silas stepped out of the shadows and helped. “It’s a respect thing, I bow to the divine in you. That’s what it means. He’s not as smart as he thinks he is, Jaq. Don’t let him fool you.”
Of course, Jaq didn’t respond, but she didn’t stiffen like a board when he addressed her either. That was progress.
“I know what it means. I’m just not going to walk around talking about divine souls to animals.”
“Hey, do whatever you want. Just because I respect Mama Quinn, doesn’t mean you have to.”
I smiled when Jaq pulled both her lips between her teeth, hiding a smile. She liked Silas, I could tell, and that made me very happy.
Silas scratched his head and looked around the garden, looking better and better every day. “I’m still puzzled from where all this brick came from. Was that bush always there?”
“Yes, how the hell would we get something that big back here? Helicopter?”
“Shut up. I know dad told us he cleared all this land. Where the hell did they come from?”
“Don’t ask me. I’m as baffled as you are. Maybe he did it before he got so caught up in the lab?” Although that was the best explanation, it still didn’t make much sense. Why do all the hard work just to turn it into a yard? I didn’t get it.
I noticed Jaq getting antsy and rigid beside me, taking deep breaths, and bouncing her knees just after nine o’clock.
“What’s wrong with you?”
Of course, she didn’t answer. She looked to Silas and then to her lap.
“Do you want to go in?”
To my surprise, she answered. With words. Quiet words, but still audible ones. “Yes.”
I stood, keeping Jaq close to my side. “I’ll see you in the morning. I’m glad you’re here. We’ll be able to finish the whole porch.”
“Wait, dude. Where’re you going? It’s nine o’clock. Get her situated and come back. We need to talk.”
That instantly pissed me off, but Jaq was the only one who sensed it. She gave me a hidden look, begging me with her eyes and the pull of her hand not to say anything. Get her situated? What the fuck did that even mean?
“We’ll talk in the morning. Goodnight, Silas.”
“Hang on. You’re not sleeping with her, are you?”
“Shut the fuck up, Silas.”
“Ollie, just come in. Please,” Jaq begged from behind my back, and that is the only reason I walked away. She was scared, and I didn’t want that, I walked away with her.
I glared at Silas and walked away with Jaq, unbelieving of his audacity. “Namaste, dick.”
“Seriously. What’d I do? I didn’t mean anything bad by it. Oliver, come on.”
“Be thankful you don’t have a brother,” I said as we stepped inside, instantly realizing what I’d said by the look in her eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—.”
“It’s okay. My brother was an infant, yours is an ass.”
“He’s usually not like this. I don’t know what’s up with him. He’s just a douche sometimes.”
I followed Jaq to her bathroom, but she made me leave, deflating my plan to soap her entire body with lavender soap.
“Get out. I’m not taking a shower with you.”
I tried to pull her into my arms and beg with a kiss, but it didn’t work. She shoved me away from her with two flat hands on my chest. “Come on, please? I’ll keep my hands to myself. I promise.”
Jaq laughed and kissed my lips. “You can’t keep your hands to yourself when I am wearing clothes. You’re a liar. Go outside with your brother. I’m fine now. I just didn’t want to walk in the house without you. Go. Spend some time with Silas.”
“I don’t like him much.”
“He’s just looking out for you. What would you think if the tables were turned? You’d think the same thing.”
I frowned, taking a step back, interested in her take on that. “What is it you think he thinks?”
“That I’m a gold digging welfare case.”
“He doesn’t think that, and you can’t dig gold from someone who doesn’t have gold. He’s not like that. Don’t think that.”
“You have way more gold than I have.”
“This is our gold. Right here. You and me, girl.”
“I’m going to close the door in your face now.”
“I’ll be sad.”
She didn’t care. She closed the door in my face, leaving me with Cleo and Leo, both whining at the door to get out with Silas.
I opened the door and walked out, resting my elbows on the banister while my
idiot brother dropped to his knees to meet my dogs.
“Stay away from him. He’s an ass.”
“Oliver, dude. What the fuck are you doing man? What happened with the experiment? The drug that you were going to mimic from dad? What the hell is going on here? What are you doing?”
I stood, propping one leg to the banister, and crossing my arms. “When did you become so judgmental? Who are you to judge me for anything?”
Silas opened his hands and looked at me like I was crazy, his body leaning toward me like I was the foolish one. “She’s fucking handicapped. The girl’s got issues, Oliver. Anyone can see that, and you’re taking advantage of her. It isn’t right, Oliver. What would dad think?”
All I wanted to do was jump the railing and knock his pretty white teeth down his stupid throat, but I didn’t. I stayed far enough away to keep from choking the last breath out of him. “You don’t know shit. Fuck you, Silas. I’m not the one who uses chicks. When’s the last time you had a relationship? Oh, that’s right, never. You’re the one who does that. Not me.”
“Oliver, wake the fuck up. What are you going to do with her? You planning on babysitting the rest of your life? You just going to stay here at the lake and take care of her for the rest of her life? That your plan?”
That was exactly my plan, but I wasn’t going to try to get him to understand it. I didn’t understand it myself. “Don’t worry about it, Silas. If you can’t be supportive than don’t come around here. She doesn’t deserve that.”
“What’s wrong with her anyway?”
“Nothing. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with her.”
“What about the LSD shit? Did you figure that out?”
I walked across the wood to the other doors leading into the kitchen, needing another beer. A few more. He didn’t get it and I didn’t know how to make him get it, but I did try to see it through his eyes. I sort of understood how he could think that. Jaq was a different person around other people. She did come off as introverted and backwards, but that didn’t give him any right to treat her like he was any better than her. He wasn’t and it pissed me off to think he forgot where he came from, who our dad was, and what he came into this world with. Nothing. The same thing he was leaving it with. The exact same way as Jaq.
Jaq With a Q (Kismet) Page 20