Arlen returned with an armful of pale blue petals that were thick and looked incredibly comfortable. Jarl touched one and it was like velvet. This would be perfect. He continued to look at the moon while Arlen went inside to arrange a bed for him. After a while, Arlen came to sit next to him.
“You’re surviving,” Arlen said. “And now you won’t have to walk as far every day. We have food, the river is only ten minutes away for water, and we have shelter. What else do you need?”
“I’ll need something to do every day,” Jarl said. “I don’t want to get bored. But for a few days I might need to rest. I’m not used to walking in the woods like this, not for this long.”
“We’ll take as long as you need, and then I can teach you how to live here.”
Jarl smiled at him and was rewarded with a flash of fangs as Arlen smiled in return. He cuddled against his creature and gazed at the moon for as long as he could before his eyes began drifting shut. He wanted to stay awake, to keep his eyes open, but a hazy warmth spread through him and it felt like magnets were drawing his eyelids together. Arlen helped him up and they went inside. Jarl curled up on the petals and it was just as comfortable as he had hoped. He hadn’t felt this comfortable in nearly two weeks and as Arlen pulled another petal to cover him, he gratefully sank into sleep.
Chapter 20
The rhythm of the planet pulsed through him as Jarl released the arrow and the animal cried out and fell to the ground, dead. He was getting good at hunting, he thought proudly as Arlen retrieved the rabbit. Four months had passed since he had left the human colony and he had learned to manipulate the planet to some degree, enough to persuade the planet to let him kill the animals here. If his arrows matched the swell of the planet’s music, then he would strike true. Otherwise, the animal would survive even if he hit it. Everything on the planet moved with the rhythm, even life and death, and he had learned to read the music and start to persuade it to adapt to his individual needs.
“Good job,” Arlen said. He was in charge of the animals after they were shot. Jarl was too squeamish to skin and gut the animals, and even felt a little nauseous watching them cook. But he was able to eat them without problems and Arlen didn’t mind taking care of the rest. Much of his diet was now supplemented by meat and the berries that grew nearby. He was tempted to start a garden, but didn’t have any seeds. He felt safe in their home and while he could usually sense other creatures nearby, none had shown themselves.
Jarl had built a bow and arrow to hunt, not wanting to waste his bullets. The female creature still worried him and he wanted a gun in case he had to deal with her. He was safe for now, but kept his gun on him at all times just in case.
They returned to their home and Jarl went inside and sank into the petals as Arlen took care of the rabbit outside. It was late and he would have to go look at the moon soon. He couldn’t forget. Luckily he had Arlen to remind him. Now that he wasn’t faced with the results of each night’s victims at the colony, it was easy to forget how absolutely necessary it was to look at the moon each night. He had almost forgotten a couple of times but Arlen always remembered and he was always flush with shame those night he didn’t think of it himself. He was the reason people were surviving and if they didn’t keep surviving, then all of their plans for the future would collapse. He just had to hope that Keisha and Jonah were doing well in the colony and they were persuading the young people. They were young themselves so hopefully the message would be persuasive. He wondered what the oldest woman had thought about Jarl’s disappearance. If she somehow twisted it into something evil, some sign that the planet had laid a trap for him, then it was unlikely Keisha and Jonah could succeed. But if Keisha did as he recommended and said he were injured, and if the others believed it, then it should be safe. He should have asked Keisha what she said when she was here. He had thought of quite a few things he should have said or asked but there was nothing he could do now. Sometimes he missed humans deeply, even to the point of tears, but it was getting less frequent. Sometimes the thought of Ender overwhelmed him. He hadn’t loved Ender, not really, but they had grown so close. He missed having humans nearby.
As night fell, Jarl went outside and laid on his back near their fire pit where Arlen was preparing the rabbit. Neither of them said anything; this was their usual routine by now. The moon was gorgeous, as always. At least he enjoyed looking at the moon every night. If he had to do something he hated every night, he probably wouldn’t do it. But he loved looking at the moon and feeling peace and calm wash over him. He felt safe and protected under her light.
Three hours passed and he was just beginning to doze off. Arlen had come over to lay beside him and he sometimes fell asleep out here, leaving Arlen to carry him inside. He wasn’t sure what Arlen did at night. He knew Arlen left most nights, but he was safe even without Arlen at his side. The moon and the planet protected him. As his eyes started to drift shut and he began blinking more often in the first signs of exhaustion, he felt the music swell slightly in a summons. He sat up, shaking the sleep from his mind as he and Arlen stood up.
“You felt that?” Arlen asked, and he nodded. “Did you sense what it was for?”
“Just a summons,” Jarl said.
“It was from Jonah’s creature,” he said. “She must have lured him to the woods. Let’s go.”
Excitement wiped away any remaining sleep as they began the hike to the colony. He still had trouble telling where the music was coming from and was just glad he had Arlen to translate. Had Jonah come to the woods? What news would he bring? Anticipation coursed through him the entire hour it took to reach the woods outside the colony where the summons came from. He could sense other creatures converging as well, including the one he recognized as the tree-like elder. Then they reached the clearing where the elder stood with Jonah and his creature. Jonah looked happy. That was a good sign. At the sight of Jarl, Jonah’s face broke into a smile.
“Jarl,” he said. “You’re still alive.”
“So are you,” Jarl said, embracing him and luxuriating in the feel of another human. He was glad Arlen had shown him a mineral that erased his scent or else Jonah probably would have commented. He had been living in the woods for months without deodorant, after all, and if he hadn’t cautiously asked Arlen about it, he would reek. Arlen had also taught him to manipulate the music within his own body to expel the hair follicles on his face, so shaving wasn’t a problem either and Jonah actually stroked his smooth cheek as if wondering how he didn’t have a beard. His hair was a different story; he had several blades, some of them quite sharp, but his hair was uneven and he knew he looked a little ragged.
“What happened?” Jarl asked. “How is the colony? Are people listening?”
“Yes,” Jonah said, sounding proud. “I was just telling the elder. I think surviving tonight will help. A lot of the young people are curious, just like you said they would be. The old timers are suspicious. They don’t like that you didn’t come back.”
Jarl winced. When he had decided to stay, it hadn’t even occurred to him that the oldest woman might misinterpret it.
“But it’s going well,” Jonah added quickly. “We’ve learned how to avoid their notice. No one has died in the woods at all since the peace. Thank you for looking at the moon. Keisha and I can help now, too.”
“Thank you,” Jarl said, pleased that his efforts every night had been rewarded and even more grateful that he had Arlen to remind him on those nights when he forgot. “I’ll still look at it as often as possible but it’s hard out here.”
“We’ll take care of it,” he said confidently. “People aren’t afraid anymore. Sometimes people are injured, but not usually. And a few people even try to talk to the creatures when they’re lured out.”
“Really?” Jarl asked. No one had mentioned that to him, nor had he picked it up in the music of the planet. He glanced at Arlen, who looked equally surprised. At least he hadn’t hidden it.
The elder smiled a fang-bearing sm
ile. “We are not always able to respond,” she said. “It is not true conversation. But it is a good start.”
“I think it’ll work this peace,” Jonah said. “And if I can keep coming out here, then I won’t mind being trapped there as much.”
“How is Keisha?”
“She’ll be jealous,” he said with a laugh. “But you should wait a few more weeks before luring her. Otherwise it might be too suspicious.”
The creatures nodded and Jarl wondered who had decided which of them to lure first. Maybe Jonah’s creature grew hungrier because she fed on his heart and body. Or maybe it was just random. No, he thought, looking at Jonah’s creature. He saw Keisha’s creature at the edge of the group looking jealous. There must have been discussion and she had won the debate. Yes, he had definitely lost, and she had won. He wondered how arguments were decided among creatures. He might need that knowledge someday and he made a note to ask Arlen about it. He didn’t see the female creature who frightened him anywhere and was grateful.
Jonah told them a little more about how things were going and Jarl asked about Ender. He was silent for a moment, which worried Jarl.
“He didn’t react well to your, well, what they assume is your death,” Jonah said slowly. “He tried to hurt himself. He was stopped, don’t worry, but he’s still really upset.”
Jarl drew in a sharp breath. He hadn’t expected Ender to react like that. He had known Ender would be upset, but they had never been in love. Or at least he hadn’t been in love. Looking back, he realized that Ender had been in love with him. Deeply. He had lied about Arlen, after all. He had kept Jarl’s secret even when sharing it would have been much easier. And ever since then, Jarl had been closer to him, more intimate with him, because he felt he owed it to the man. He hadn’t even realized what Ender must have assumed about their relationship.
“You can’t tell him I’m alive,” Jarl said, his mind whirling. “But… I suppose you can’t tell him anything. Will you keep an eye on him, for me?”
“I rarely see him,” Jonah warned. “Keisha was the one who found out what he tried to do. She works with him sometimes.”
“Then ask her. I don’t want him hurt.”
Jonah nodded.
“Everyone was upset, not just him,” Jonah added. “Especially since Keisha told them she couldn’t have handled it without your help.”
“Does Doss think she’ll be ready for the next peace? I can come help her, maybe, and she’ll have her creature, too.”
“We’re training already,” he said. “And a lot of younger people are training, too. They might send two people again on her route and mine, just to be safe. I wish they wouldn’t,” he added, looking at his creature. “I wouldn’t get to see you then.”
She stroked his cheek. “I can still see you at night while the other human sleeps.”
Jonah nodded, and looked at Jarl. “Is that what you did?”
“Basically,” he said, blushing slightly. He didn’t want to admit that he had sent Arlen away until the very last night. He didn’t like to think about his unintentional cruelty.
He went through all of the other questions and advice he had thought of in the past four months and soon felt like he knew everything he needed. Being away from humans made him miss the colony immensely and while Jonah didn’t know most of the people he asked about, he could report on the general atmosphere of the colony, which was, for the first time, optimistic. Jarl’s apparent death had been a blow, but even though the oldest woman had tried to blame it on the planet, no one had listened to her. Accidents happened, after all, and they were just grateful Keisha had been there to bring the harvest home. It sounded like things were doing well and before long, he felt a tug from Jonah’s creature. She wanted to spend more time with him, so he stopped asking questions and thanked Jonah sincerely.
“Good luck,” he added, and Jonah smiled.
“You too.”
He and Arlen trekked back to their home and he laid down. Arlen curled up next to them. They often slept this way, or at least they fell asleep this way. Jarl often woke at night to find himself alone, but Arlen was usually at his side when he fell asleep and woke up. He couldn’t expect his creature to stay with him when he didn’t need sleep.
“You’re sad,” Arlen said, wrapping his arms around him. Jarl snuggled into him.
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m happy too, though. Things are working well.”
“But your friend hurt himself,” Arlen said softly. “I’m sorry.”
Jarl sniffled, unexpected tears filling his eyes. He hadn’t thought he was as deeply connected to Ender as he was, but the thought of him in pain and hurting himself was unbearable. He hadn’t let himself really feel the impact of that around the others but here, with only Arlen, he let sorrow overwhelm him. He had misled Ender, lied to him about the depth of their relationship. This was his fault. And he couldn’t bear the thought of him in pain. Perhaps he did love him, he considered. Surely he wouldn’t feel like this if there wasn’t some level of love between them. And they had been lovers for nearly a year. How could feelings like that not spring up between them?
Arlen stroked his head as he clutched him and let his tears fall. Arlen said nothing, just held him, and it was everything Jarl needed. They stayed that way a long time as Jarl let out quiet sobs. It wasn’t just Ender. It was the thought that he had really, truly left his world behind. It hadn’t really struck him. He was alone out here in the woods, without any humans, but he hadn’t fully realized that the humans would be living their own lives in the colony, without him. He didn’t matter anymore, except possibly to Ender. The colony would move on. Mourning wasn’t encouraged and now that he was gone, he knew the president and even Doss would forget him quickly. They would be focused on the present and the future, not the past. He would be forgotten and he hadn’t realized it would hurt this much.
He cried for hours until he finally fell asleep. In his dreams, he felt the planet embrace him and cushion him against his sorrow. He had lost the humans, but he had gained the planet, the moon, everything on this world. Was it a fair price to pay? He thought of Arlen and felt content. He missed his colony and his people, but he was ready to live here with Arlen. He didn’t regret his decision, no matter what had happened in his absence. He was ready to keep living, too. Maybe someday, when humans were adapting regularly and creatures weren’t feared, maybe then he could return to the colony. Would they even know who he was? Would they realize he was the reason they were surviving now? Probably not. He would just have to live with the knowledge that he would never really matter to them anymore and be content with the private knowledge of what he had done. He couldn’t expect anything else.
Chapter 21
Keisha was drawn out to the woods two months after Jonah, and Jonah was lured a second time a few months later. Time passed in a blur as Jarl learned to more fully adapt to the planet. He felt confident living here now. He hadn’t seen the female creature a single time but still carried his gun, wary of the dangers that the planet didn’t control. And soon it was time for the peace and he and Arlen returned to the edge of the woods closest to the colony to see what happened. All of the creatures were gathered and many were far closer than they had ever dared before. They would stay back during the day but most planned on getting quite close during the night when they were safer. He just hoped everything worked and enough people snuck out. And he hoped those people found good creatures to talk to, creatures who would earn their love.
As Jonah had predicted, he and Keisha were accompanied by other young people. He hoped all of them were ready for the long routes but there wasn’t much he could do if they weren’t. If it were just Keisha he could help her, but not with someone else there. He would have to explain who he was and how he was alive and that would be too much.
He and Arlen trailed Keisha and the boy with her until around noon and he was deeply reassured. Keisha was making good time and so was the boy. Assuming they kept that pace, they would
have no problems. Doss had done a good job. And he could make out their conversation, which also reassured him. The boy was asking about whether or not they would really see creatures, and whether Keisha had really spoken to a creature last time. That meant that he was ready to meet his own creature and also that Keisha’s creature could openly spend time with her. A very good sign. He and Arlen returned to the edge of the woods and waited for night.
As the sunlight faded from the sky and the moon began her elegant ascent, the door to the colony creaked open and eight furtive shadows slipped out. Jarl grinned. The young people were sneaking out. He would have liked more, but eight was enough. They went to the woods in a bunch and seemed frightened, and didn’t go in far. He felt pulsing music between the creatures as they tried to figure out what to do. Then one of the creatures decided to act.
He strode out to the edge of the woods, remaining safely in the trees but visible to the young people.
“Welcome,” he said, angling his hands upwards the same way Arlen and Keisha’s creature had. How did they know that was a way to indicate peace? They seemed to know quite a lot about human culture but there were some ways in which they were totally ignorant. It was hard to predict what they would and wouldn’t know.
The people inched closer, looking at each other and whispering, probably having the same sort of discussion the creatures had just had: trying to figure out what to do. Just like with the creatures, one of the humans stepped forward.
“Are you a threat?” she asked warily.
“It’s the peace,” the creature said. “You’re completely safe for the next four nights. Come, talk to us.”
“How many of you are there?” she asked, still wary.
“Eight of us,” the creature said, though there were far more than eight in the woods. Still, Jarl knew only eight would approach the humans. He wondered if they were the eight who were spawned from these people’s dreams. There had to be creatures whose humans had been killed, and continued to feed on other humans. And there had to be creatures who had died, since there weren’t nearly enough creatures to account for over a century of colonists. But he suspected that the eight creatures intended for these humans were close enough that they could approach. It seemed like every creature was nearby. Indeed, he felt a pulse and could tell that certain creatures were being called forward, but not all of them. Just eight of them, and he was certain it was the proper eight intended for these humans.
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