“Nonsense,” roared the baron after a long pause of complete surprise. “The king won’t allow it. He’ll have the marriage annulled. He’ll never allow a noble lady to marry a street urchin. I don’t believe you even have a proper name.”
“I’ll find one,” said Alfie, taken aback.
“I shall challenge you to a tournament, and that will be the end of you, even before the annulment,” shouted the baron, now in a furious temper. “And as for the lady’s property, don’t you dare touch a penny of it. And whatever has been given to charity – well – I’ll get it back.”
“Given to the church,” hiccupped Alice. “And they never give anything back.”
The baron was so red in the face, he could only splutter. So Edmund marched down the steps and glared in fury at Alfie. “I hereby arrest you in the name of the king for improper abduction and raptus, defying your lord and sovereign, and being a nasty little liar.”
“”You can’t arrest me,” objected Alfie clenching his fists. “And don’t you try nuffing nasty cos I reckon I could beat you wiv sword, bow, fists or anyfing else.”
Alice interrupted. “I shall inform the king that you’re a beast and a pig and you’ve tried to marry me by force in the past, so I hate you.”
“And I shall inform the king that you’re a witch,” responded the baron.
“Then you can’t marry a witch,” said Poppy, pushing her way in front.
The steward, stony-faced, had remained on the doorstep. His amazement at the whole scene was not apparent in his expression, but finally he said, “My lady, will you come inside in the warm with your friends? I shall ensure that the two unwanted gentlemen do not enter.” Realising the sense of this, everyone hurriedly ran up the steps and rushed inside as the steward shut the door in the baron’s face, almost thumping his nose. “By the way, my lady,” the steward continued softly as both Edmund and the baron could be heard yelling and cursing outside, “you have some straw sticking out of your woolly hat. I expect you would like me to remove it?”
“Oh, gracious, yes please,” said Alice, pulling off the hat and passing it to the steward. “And can we have a great big hot breakfast because we haven’t eaten since yesterday morning, and we want hot apple ale too, and I do so hope the fire is built up in the hall and in my bedchamber.”
“In the hall, yes, my lady,” bowed the steward, “but not in any of the bedchambers since your arrival is most unexpected. Your aunt and uncle have gone out for the day, as they wished to travel back to Hammersmith to check on their own cottage. I expect their return tomorrow. So forgive me, my lady, now I will make all the necessary arrangements. If you would all care to wait by the fire in the main hall, I shall attend to everything right away.”
Once the steward had gone and everyone was cuddled on chairs and cushions by the roaring fire, they started to talk, all at once.
“Wot’s we gonna do?” asked Alfie. “Does you wanna give all that to the church after all?”
“Some, for the poor,” said Alice. “But not everything. I really don’t know how I’m going to get out of this except by escaping. And then I’ll never be able to come back because the king would be furious at having been disobeyed.”
“Then we gotta find a way o’ getting rid o’ the baron,” decided Alfie.
“I have an idea,” smiled Nathan.
Chapter Six
On the following morning, they all tumbled out of their warm and comfy beds, and began to search through the chests of clothes in their bedchambers. It had become quite difficult sometimes to remember the proper clothes for every place. Even Lashtang clothes were different to the medieval style, for women often wore trousers, and both men and women wore very grand and glittery things, and jackets with big pockets on the inside.
Peter dressed himself in the proper clothes, and sighed. “I liked them others best,” he said. “They were warmer and comfier. But look, I still have these,” and he spread out a large number of Mars Bars onto the carpet before him. “One each for you,” he grinned. “And then the rest for me. And after breakfast, I’m going out to buy myself a lute.”
“You’ve lost your lute and I’ve lost my cat. I want Mouse back,” sighed Sam. “Or Flop, at least.”
Alice was quiet. She was still puzzling over what to do about the baron. It was making her very miserable. “Perhaps I should go and talk to the king,” she mumbled to herself. She was also back in medieval clothes, with a long skirt of pink velvet over a white linen shift. But what no one could see was that she still wore her thick woolly tartan tights underneath.
Nathan wandered in to join the others. “I’ve got ideas about the baron,” he said. “Let’s go and have breakfast and talk about it.”
They grouped around the large dining table, ate their porridge, eggs, bacon and hot baked bread, and finished off with a few small secret pieces of chocolate.
“Wot you says last night,” said Alfie, “is the best. We takes both them nasty fellows to Lashtang and we leaves them there.”
“We did that before,” said Poppy, “and they managed to come back here.”
“So we take them to modern London,” said Nathan, putting down his spoon with a click. “We have to put them somewhere they can’t escape from.”
“Reckon they’d like it so much, t’wouldn’t wanna leave,” sighed John.
“Only if they’re rich.”
“How can we make them rich?” demanded Nathan. “Besides, they don’t deserve to be all happy and wealthy.”
“Rich. Anticky stuff, like you says afore,” added Alfie.
For a moment they all sat around the table staring at each other. Peter put his thumb in his mouth and sniffed into the few crumbs left on his platter. Everyone was thinking hard.
“I have another idea,” said Nathan, leaning forwards into the hesitant silence. “But I’m not sure how we can do it. My mother could do it, I think, and maybe Granny. But we could try with the Knife of Clarr.”
“Tell us,” demanded John.
“Henry VIII,” said Nathan.
Alfie laughed. “Tis Henry Seven we got,” he corrected Nathan. “Not eight.”
“That’s the point,” said Nathan. “This king gets a son called Henry who eventually is king too. He’s a real maniac. I think if we could get the baron and Edmund there, they’d sort of fit in but they’d never get back and we could just leave them there.”
“Probably get their heads chopped off,” smiled Poppy. “Henry VIII chopped everyone’s heads off.”
“Everyone?” Alice looked a little shocked.
“Well, mostly his wives.”
“Oh dear,” Alice stood up, looking very determined. “I intend seeking an audience with the king tomorrow. I don’t know much about this King Henry, but perhaps he’s kind even though he invaded England and killed our king Richard. I mean, if I explain to him that I hate the baron and how horrible he’s been to me in the past, perhaps the king will change his mind.” She shrugged, then stared down at her shoes with a dejected sigh. “I’ll try, anyway. If it works, then that’s the decent honest way to deal with the situation. But if the king won’t see me, or refuses to see things my way, then I’ll have to try one of the other tricks. Like giving all my money away. Or running away myself.”
“I like the idea of Henry VIII,” said Sam. “He sounds funny.”
“I could play my new lute.” Said Peter, rather forlorn, “but I don’t suppose it would do any good. The Lady Tryppa in Lashtang said one day I could do magic with that lute – but that’s the one I left in Hammersmith.”
“I’ll come with you to see the king,” Nathan said, “You ought to have a chaperone.”
“I just wish we could get a message to Granny,” said Poppy, chewing her last piece of bacon which had gone cold.
It was still quite early in the morning, and they could hear the maids hurrying outside to throw the rubbish into the long central gutter. A stray dog hurried over, eager for the big slices of bacon rind and stale cru
sts. ‘”Hurry up,” they could hear the steward calling, “it is far too cold to keep this door open.”
And that is precisely when a huge white wind whooshed over the steward’s head and swept into the main hall where everyone was sitting.
The steward and other servants, who had got accustomed to all sorts of strange things happening in this house although a goose knocking on the door was very odd. However, most of the servants, just coughed slightly, hurried indoors and closed the front door with a slam.
Meanwhile, Hermes settled in the middle of the long dining table, knocking over the salt. As he landed, big flat feet slapping on the wood and skidding a little in the spilled salt, two fluffy objects fell off his head. One was white and one was black.
“Flop and Gosling,” yelled Sam, leaping up to grab them both for a hearty cuddle.
Hermes, with a loud clack and a ruffle of his wind-blown feathers, sat down in the salt. “My illustrious lord and lady,” he addressed Nathan and Poppy, although a little out of breath, “I have come on a special mission from the illustrious Lady Altabella.”
“Thank goodness,” grinned Nathan.
“She was deeply distressed,” Hermes continued, “when you did not return from your shopping trip into the city. She therefore sent me to Lashtang to discover whether you had all been abducted and forced to go there against your will. But when, after some searching, I failed to find you, then the illustrious lady directed me to come here instead. She wished to be assured that you are all well and to discover who smuggled you away.”
Poppy breathed deeply. “You and Granny are both wonderful,” she said. “We were so worried. We didn’t have any way of sending a message.”
“It was Brewster Hazlett,” said Nathan with a frown. “It was quite a shock. He was dressed up as Father Christmas. I don’t know why he did it. After all, we wanted to come back here soon anyway, we just wanted to wait for a few days and have the chance to dress in the proper clothes and then Granny could have got the ladder for us herself.”
“Brewster just likes playing silly jokes,” said Poppy. “He doesn’t have proper reasons. He just wants to trick us.”
“I wish you’d brought Mouse with you,” interrupted Sam.
“My apologies, Master Sam,” Hermes said. “But I am sorry to say that the feline named Mouse does not trust me. She would not come when I called. She has stayed in Hammersmith with her grey kitten.”
“Never mind about the cat, what about us?” demanded Peter. “And my lute?”
Hermes looked slightly confused. “Should you wish it,” he said with a worried clack, “I could summon the ladder to take everyone back to modern Hammersmith. Or,” he added, “anywhere else within the ladder’s jurisdiction.”
Nathan looked up, interested. “Which is what?”
“Ah, now that would take quite a lot of answering, my illustrious lord,” Hermes said, settling himself more comfortably on the table as Flop raced around and around him, occasionally leaping on his back, hiding in his feathers, peering out again, and then hopping off to chase around once more. Gosling, meanwhile, had fallen asleep in Sam’s arms. “The ladder has a wide range, but he must receive orders from someone with considerable power. Otherwise he only has the usual limits.”
“You could order him?” suggested Alice.
Hermes sighed and shook his head. “I am a messenger, my lady. I have little power in my own right.”
“Oh dear, then we’re back at the beginning,” she said. “So I’ll do what I already decided and go to try and speak to the king tomorrow. If unsuccessful – well – I take up one of Nathan’s suggestions.”
Nathan turned to Hermes. He held out a large piece of bread. “Hungry?” And while Hermes opened his beak and received the bread with a slurp, Nathan continued. “You’ll have to go back to Granny and tell her we’re safe here. No problem.”
“You could bring her back with you,” nodded Poppy.
“Well, anyway,” Nathan said, “we have to tell Granny what happened, and see if she’s got any wonderful ideas about getting rid of the baron and saving Alice.”
Hermes swallowed the bread with a gulp, and bowed. “My illustrious lord, I shall depart immediately. If the Lady Altabella permits, I shall return on the morrow.”
The goose had not returned by the first light on the following day, so Alice, Nathan and Alfie dressed very carefully in their absolute best medieval clothes, all velvet and embroidered with huge sleeves, warm cloaks and fancy hats. Leaving the others at home, they then set off to walk to Westminster Palace.
“Not as far as Eltham,” smiled Nathan. “I’m grateful for that.”
His Majesty's entire court had transferred from one palace to another, as it often happened before Christmas. Huge carts trundled the streets, carrying furniture, supplies, wardrobes of clothes, and kitchen utensils. The travels of his majesty while accompanied by the entire court, were a well-practised but lengthy and important business. Naturally, the king would not move in until everything was thoroughly prepared for his ultimate comfort.
From Bishopsgate, Alice, Nathan and Alfie, smart in their best clothes, walked quickly along the main London thoroughfare of the Cheap, eventually passing all the glitter and gleam of the goldsmith’s shops where enormous goblets, collars and platters were shown at the windows. Then they arrived at the Ludgate where the huge portcullis and the great studded doors had been unlocked some time previously. They hurried through the gateway as the gatekeeper waved them on with a smile. “And a peaceful Christmas to you,” he called.
Once through the Ludgate, they passed out of the city, which was sheltered within the great Roman walls. Instead, they now crossed the Fleet which was a highly polluted river that ran slowly down to The Thames. There was a small wooden bridge, but then they hurried into the magnificence of The Strand.
This wide road was lined with Bishop’s palaces and noblemen’s huge houses. Leading straight to Westminster, this was one of the grandest areas, but there was no time to stop and stare, for it was far too cold. The wind whistled, the sky was turning quite black with heavy rain clouds, and it was so bitter that Alice said the river was probably freezing over.
The palace was guarded. The scarlet uniformed guards paraded around the grounds, and others stood, their pikes upright. Beside the closed doors. They did not move as Alice approached, but her appearance and demeanour was what she relied upon to open those doors, and she straightened her back and lifted her chin.
“We are expected,” she lied. “The Lady Alice Parry. Would you inform Lord Stanley that we have arrived.”
It worked. They were led indoors and along the finest polished passages to a huge doorway, also closed and guarded. After some muttering and mumbling, eventually that door too was opened, and Alice, Alfie and Nathan were ushered into the first small introductory chamber. The guard could be heard speaking to Lord Stanley within the inner chamber, and then the lord’s voice, very loud and cross, saying, “I am far too busy and made no appointment. Take them to his majesty. Say I sent them.”
Listening, and turning to Nathan with a wide smile, Alice said, “Now that was good luck.”
But Alfie said, “I reckon ‘tis bad luck. ‘Tis a bossy gent, that one. And I bets the king chucks us out.”
His Majesty, King Henry VII, was standing amongst his lords in the Council Chamber, looking dark and dour. He surveyed Alice and her two companions without the slightest sign of patience. Alice curtseyed so low she nearly touched the floorboards with her nose. “Your majesty, she said, as both Nathan and Alfie stood back, “I ask you to humbly forgive my abrupt appearance, and without your permission, and my request against your Majesty's orders yesterday, but I have come to plead and beg a change of heart.” She looked up. “May I speak?”
The king’s mother, a small and extremely thin woman in black, was standing with a group of women to one side. She scowled, and walked over to stand by the king.
The king, barely opening his mouth, said, “I inst
ructed you as to my wishes, madam. I will not be changing my mind. It is done.”
Alice tumbled to her knees, hands clasped abjectly together. “Your majesty, I beg you not to order my marriage to Baron Cambridge. I have known him for long years, when he falsely and illegally claimed guardianship over me. He stole my property, and he attempted to force me violently into a union with him. I loathe him, your grace. He is a vile man.”
Henry VII answered angrily. “I have made my decision, madam. Your exaggerated and improper complaints are of no interest to me,” and he turned his back, walking abruptly away.
Waiting one moment longer, the king’s mother regarded Alice, her brows lowered. “A woman does not need to live with her husband madam. Remember your dignity and your duty.” And then she too walked away.
Almost in tears of both misery and anger, Alice rushed from the room, Nathan and Alfie following her until they were all outside in the whistling wind. There she leaned back against the palace wall, and shook her head. “I wish I could get rid of that horrid man and his horrid mother too,” she said between her teeth. “But I know I can’t. So let’s hurry home and plan what to do with the baron.”
Chapter Seven
Having arrived at the Parry House some two hours previously, Hermes was waiting eagerly for Alice, Alfie and Nathan to return. The others had explained the full situation to him, and he had explained his situation to them.
“It is a situation of deep dilemma,” said Hermes with an attempt to show sympathy, “and I will as explained, attempt to produce whatever results you order me, my lord. But it is the illustrious Lady Altabella who will assuredly advise more helpfully than I am able. And she should appear at any moment.” He stretched out and flapped his wings loudly, with a clack of his large beak, and a double waddle forwards. Then he collapsed, sitting in the middle of the great dining table, and waited for further orders.
Everyone waited, hovering from foot to foot, hoping for Granny to appear suddenly in their midst. Flop and Gosling were chasing each other around the table legs, so it was unfortunate that as Granny made her appearance very suddenly out of thin air, she was actually standing on Gosling’s tail. The kitten squeaked, and Granny apologised and while Gosling raced off to find comfort with Hermes, Granny glided magnificently over to stand looking at Nathan, Poppy and all the others. She was smiling widely.
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