by Ivy Jordan
“You don’t think you’re gonna lose her when she finds out you’ve been lying to her?” she snapped.
I knew there was a good chance that I would lose Maddie when she found out. A part of me hoped she’d never regain her full memory, but the other part that knew she would and was just willing to lose her in order to protect her from her ex, and to give her time to heal.
“I’m hoping she’ll fall in love with me by then, see how good I am for her, and then she’ll understand why I had to lie in order to protect her,” I replied.
“Isaac, you can’t make someone love you,” Beth whispered, her eyes growing narrow as they stared into mine.
I wasn’t trying to make Maddie love me; I knew she did already. She was never given the chance to find out exactly how good we’d be together, but now, she was already starting to see we are a great fit.
“Isaac, have you slept with her?” Beth asked carefully.
I took a deep breath and then brought my hands to my head. I leaned forward, letting my elbows rest on my desk while my hands cupped my head. I didn’t want to look at her, not directly.
“Isaac! This is so fucking wrong,” Beth exclaimed. “I know you’re a good man, but this isn’t right. You helped me in my case; you know how abuse victims feel, and how easily they are hurt. I get that you want to protect her, and I even understand what you’re doing to an extent, but all I see is this blowing up in your face, and possibly hurting Maddie, not helping her,” she added.
My eyes itched from irritation as I fought back tears. I knew she was right, at least about some of what she said, but I had to do what I felt was best for Maddie.
“You need to tell her; you can’t keep doing this to her and expect a good outcome. If you truly love her, tell her the truth,” Beth pleaded.
Her words were falling on deaf ears. I couldn’t tell Maddie, not with Rob Fallon still calling her, begging her to come back. Maddie had been strong and left him; now it was my job to be strong for her and keep him away, no matter what it took.
Beth glared at me from her office the rest of the day. I finished up paperwork for clients who’d been pushed to the back burner while I dealt with Maddie and her issues.
I ended up promising Beth I would tell her when the time was right, but not right away.
As I walked through the front door of my house, panic set in as the smell of something burning wafted under my nose. I rushed into the kitchen and found Maddie at the kitchen table, her head down and arms folded in front of her. I placed my hand on her back, “Are you okay?” I asked.
Her head lifted, and it was obvious she’d been crying. “I thought maybe I liked to cook since I watched the cooking show,” she sniffled.
I fought back my laughter as I looked around the kitchen. Pots and pans were everywhere, and on top of the stove, something unrecognizable was burnt to a crisp inside one of my pans. “Well, you may just need some practice,” I chuckled lightly. A faint smile appeared on her face as her eyes lit up my heart. “A lot more practice,” I laughed.
She finally broke free from her soured mood and laughed with me. “I was having fun until I burnt everything,” she laughed.
I sat down at the table, reached across, and took her hand in mine. Our eyes locked, and even though hers were still filled with sadness and frustration, I could see a glimmer of hope within them. “Where did you get the recipe?” I asked, hoping to find out what this meal was supposed to be.
“From the TV. I thought I wrote everything down, but I messed up something, obviously,” she smirked.
“Well, maybe you need a TV in the kitchen, so you can follow along,” I suggested and received a wide smile for my offer.
I calmed her down, gave her a big hug, and sent her off to get a shower. I worked on cleaning up the kitchen.
After nearly an hour, Maddie came downstairs wearing a pretty blue sundress that matched her eyes and stood in the doorway. “I thought we could go out for dinner,” she said softly.
I snickered as I put the last washed pan away and quickly tied the garbage bag that held two pans I couldn’t salvage from her abuse. “That’s a great idea,” I smiled.
Maddie didn’t talk much on the ride to the restaurant. We agreed on a nice little Italian place, and after that, she played with the stereo, switching from station to station, trying to find something familiar, or at least something she liked. Finally, she stopped on a classic rock station and sat back in her seat. As Don Mclean belted out “American Pie,” Maddie began to sing along. Her cheeks brightened pink, and her eyes widened as she began to effortlessly spit out the lyrics. Watching her smile and listening to the sweet melody of her voice made my heart swell in my chest, tightening it to the point I felt my rib cage would crack open.
“Oh my god! I knew that song,” she exclaimed, so bouncy and excited in the passenger seat of my Escalade.
“See, you’re getting your memory back. It just takes time,” I smiled.
Time? I was running out of time. Her memory was returning, and quickly. What was I going to do when she finally remembered everything? It could be sooner than I realized… than I hoped.
Chapter Ten
Maddie
The clouds in the sky turned an eerie shade of gray, and the grass beneath my feet caught fire. I ran as fast as I could, running from the fire, but not knowing where to hide. Sweat poured down my forehead, trickling into my eyes, making them itch. My skin felt icy cold, even with the heat of the fire so close behind me. I wanted out of this place, but how? Where was I?
Maddie! My name was called, and then again, Maddie!
The voice was familiar, one I’d certainly heard before. I ran towards the voice, deeper and deeper into the darkness. The fire at my feet stopped chasing me, and suddenly the sky turned bright blue with no cloud in sight. Where was I? Where was whoever had called me?
I walked slowly through the tall green grass; it was plush and soothing to my bare feet. I was wearing my nightgown, the same one I’d put on before bed, but I wasn’t in bed anymore. This wasn’t Isaac’s guest bedroom, and it didn’t look like any place I’d ever been. Maddie!
I followed the voice, walking past a large weeping willow tree and then over a small hill. A figure, a man, stood at the bottom of the hill near a creek. He was tall, with dark hair and tanned skin. Muscles rippled from his arms and down his chest like a washboard. I stopped as he turned towards me, his dark eyes piercing through my heart and into my soul. “Rob?” I muttered. Who was Rob, and did I know him?
“Come to me; I won’t hurt you,” the man spoke.
I was scared, frozen in my spot. My heart strings were being tugged at viciously as I so wanted to run into his strong arms. He was so familiar, so inviting, but something was making me stay where I was, frozen on the hill.
He started to walk towards me, and I turned to look over my shoulder for an escape. The grass fire was back, this time higher and hotter, and headed right for me. “Run to me,” the man called out, his arms wide open to catch me and protect me.
“No,” I shouted, but didn’t move in either direction.
His eyes turned red and fiery like the grass, and he rushed towards me. When he stopped, he stood right in front of me, his eyes no longer red, and his face chiseled to perfection. “Rob?” I asked again.
He nodded, “I’m here.”
My body fell limp, falling right into his arms. I was warm there, safe there, and for a moment, I knew I knew this man. My eyes closed as he held me, squeezing me tightly and nuzzling his lips on my neck. It felt good, real good. My pussy twitched with excitement, and my nipples tingled as they pressed against his hard chest. Yes, I did know this man, but how?
My eyes opened and watched the fiery grass burning all around us in a perfect circle. It started to close in, getting closer and closer to where we stood. “We have to go,” I shouted, but he didn’t move. His squeeze around me tightened and caused me to let out a squeal from the pain. “Let me go!” I screamed.
He
looked down at me, his eyes shining fire red once again. “You aren’t going anywhere,” he snarled, and then brought one hand from my waist to my neck. He gripped me hard, causing me to choke. I could feel the air being restricted and my brain growing dizzy. My hands pulled at his fingers, trying to force them to release, but he was too strong.
Everything flashed red, and then went black as I gasped for breath. He was gone, I was in my bed, and without any control, I let out a loud scream into the dark room.
“Maddie,” Isaac’s warm, but panicked, voice was music to my ears. He pushed through the bedroom door and rushed to my side. “Are you okay?” he asked, still obviously rattled.
Tears rolled down my face as I absorbed all the emotion thrown at me during the nightmare. “It was him again,” I gasped.
“Who?” he asked.
“The man from my nightmare, he was trying to hurt me again, but I know I knew him, I could feel it. I kept calling him Rob,” I rattled, still shaken by the experience that felt so real.
I looked up to Isaac, hoping to get some answers, but his face was pale and without expression. “Why do you think you know him?” he asked.
“Because, I could feel it, and I called him Rob, he answered to Rob,” I explained spastically.
“Do you know him now?” Isaac asked.
I shook my head. I didn’t. The memory, or the start of one, was gone. “Did someone try to hurt me?” I asked.
“I think this is all from the accident. Memories come back in weird ways; the doctor told us that,” he stated.
That twinge of guilt returned in my gut. Maybe I was cheating on Isaac with this man, this man named Rob who was not willing to let me go, and would go to any lengths to keep me. Was I a good person?
I stared into Isaac’s beautiful green eyes and wondered if I was capable of hurting him like that. He obviously didn’t believe me or believe that I’d been hurt, so it had to be something I kept a secret. Why else would I keep the secret about a man hurting me from my fiancé?
“I need therapy,” I blurted out, figuring someone other than Isaac might be good for me to talk to. “It’s been nearly a month, and I still haven’t remembered much,” I added.
“We can ask for a sleeping aid at your next follow-up,” he offered.
“I don’t want a fucking sleeping aid. I need to talk to someone, to figure out why I can’t remember who hurt me,” I snapped.
“Maddie, why would anyone hurt you?” he asked.
I didn’t care if he believed me or not. I knew someone hurt me, and his name was Rob. I just didn’t know why he hurt me, or who he was to me. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe me. I know something happened, and I need to figure this all out,” I hissed.
“I just think you should let this all happen naturally. If you push it, the doctors said you could end up with false memories, and that would set you back even further,” he insisted.
“So, you don’t think therapy is a good idea?” I questioned, confused by his lack of encouragement.
“No, I don’t,” he stated firmly.
“And, me going to Portland, is that ever going to happen?” I snarled.
“I’m working on it,” he insisted.
“You can’t just keep me here, hold me hostage from my life,” I demanded.
“Maddie, I am only trying to do what’s best for you, to protect you,” Isaac said softly.
I wanted to believe that was true, but something didn’t feel right. Why is he trying so hard to keep me all to himself?
I couldn’t have shown up here with so little belongings that they fit in one suitcase, and where was my phone, or my wallet? I knew the cops would’ve found them by now. I was growing more and more frustrated with my situation as the days flew by. My memory wasn’t where I wanted it to be, and although I was starting to feel connected to Isaac, at times he seemed like a total stranger to me.
In the gym, I felt like I belonged, but I didn’t feel that way in this house. I still didn’t feel like I’d ever stepped foot in this house before.
“Maddie, I love you. I only want what’s best for you. I’ll take you to Portland as soon as I get work caught up, and if the doctor thinks therapy is best, then I’ll agree,” he said sweetly.
It was the first time he’d told me he loved me since the accident. My heart raced in my chest as I thought about those three little words. Did I love Isaac? I mean, I must’ve if we were engaged, but I couldn’t bring myself to utter them just yet.
“Thank you,” I said softly, avoiding returning the admiration.
Chapter Eleven
Isaac
I slid out of the bed, leaving the curvy silhouette of Maddie’s body beneath the sheets. Damn, she is sexy. I loved watching her sleep so peacefully, no more bad dreams for the last couple nights, and she’d finally let up on the million questions. It was obvious she didn’t think things connected, and she wasn’t wrong. They didn’t. I just hoped that after a little more time together, things would start to feel more natural.
The mailman waved as I stepped outside to grab the newspaper. The sun was hot, making me wish I could take the day off and play on the beach with Maddie. “Hey, Tim,” I waved back to the man in the blue shorts.
Damn, why is she pushing so hard to go to Portland? I knew I was going to have to take her eventually, but acting like things were hectic at work was the only excuse I had, so no more days off.
I wondered often what would happen if she stepped foot into her own apartment. There were probably pictures of her and Rob all over the place, little reminders of their love spread everywhere to trigger her memory and send more questions towards me. What if she only remembers the good in Rob? What if she forgets that he is the bad guy, and that I am the good guy?
I pulled my mail from the basket near my door and walked back inside. The air conditioning was refreshing from the heat of the Florida winter sun. I scanned through the mail, not finding anything too interesting, and tossed it on the long table by the stairs to sort later.
The aroma of coffee filled the room as I walked into the kitchen. I grabbed my favorite mug, poured it full of coffee, and leaned against the counter to think. Was I the good guy in this? Was it my place to hide Maddie from her real life and try to create a new one, a safer one for her here?
“Good morning.” Maddie wiped her eyes gently and then yawned after mumbling her greeting.
She was wearing one of my dress shirts, three buttons undone from the top, and nothing but panties on underneath. Her hair was messy, but still sexy. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. “Good morning,” I smiled, my dick twitching in my pants as she lifted her arms to stretch. Just a glimpse of those white cotton panties and I was half-mast.
Sleeping in the same bed had been nice, but not having sex was becoming torturous. Her scent drove me wild, and the warmth of her body made my urges hard to control. But, I was a perfect gentleman, holding her against me and not asking for anything more, even though I wanted nothing more than to bury my face between her legs and taste the sweet nectar her pussy had to offer.
“You working today?” she asked, her mouth still partially open from her yawn, and her words slurring as if she were drunk.
“I am,” I regretted.
“I might go to the gym again today,” she announced. My heart raced and panic set in. I hated her going to the gym. Rob owned a gym, the gym where she used to work as a personal trainer and not a yoga teacher like I had told her she was. I knew the more time she spent there, the more likely she was to remember him.
“I think it might rain,” I blurted.
“It looks beautiful outside,” she said, leaning towards the window to peek out at the ocean. It was beautiful. The sun was shining so bright it might as well be July, not December. There was only a small breeze, no clouds in the sky, and I knew the weather channel said the day was going to be perfect. “It may rain later. I just wouldn’t want you to get stuck out in it,” I said convincingly.
She shrugge
d her shoulders and tossed me a smile. “I’m a big girl; I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
I knew the stress I was feeling was displayed all over my face, so I walked away while she made herself a cup of coffee. I fumbled through the mail that I’d gotten earlier when she walked up behind me. I could feel the warmth of her body against my back, and as she stretched up on her tippy toes to look over my shoulder, I felt her breasts brush against me. Fuck, my dick is aching.
“Anything for me?” she asked.
“No,” I chuckled.
“Why not?” she pouted.
I turned around, noticing she was feeling upset and displaced once again. “You don’t get any mail here,” I explained.
“But, don’t I have any friends here, or home, or just people that are worried about me, looking for me?” she asked.
With a man like Rob, she had no friends at all. “Your parents have been gone since you were a girl. Your grandmother raised you, and she passed after you graduated college,” I explained.
The sadness in her eyes made my heart ache. “I know I don’t remember them right now, but for some reason the pain of knowing they’re gone is strong,” she gasped, holding onto her chest for a moment while she gathered her emotions.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I offered, and wrapped my arms around her for a tight squeeze.
My hands rested on her ass cheeks, loving the soft but tight flesh beneath my fingertips. Baseball, Roseanne Barr, dill pickles, aahhh, my dick obeyed my words by slowly deflating before it pressed hard into Maddie and scared her away.
“What’s this,” she asked, snatching a square envelope from my hand. Her body pulled away as she read the label that simply said, Mr. Isaac Lewis. “Is this an invitation?” she probed, staring up at me with bright blue eyes.
I took it from her hand, shrugged, and opened it to reveal an elaborately decorated invitation for an upcoming charity event.
“Why wasn’t it addressed to both of us,” she questioned, obviously in another one of her moods where she doubted everything about our relationship.