by Ivy Jordan
“I am,” I smiled, and let him lead me into the small café.
I didn’t take any time with the menu, quickly ordering an egg white omelet loaded with veggies, wheat toast, and a small orange juice. Isaac looked impressed at my quick decision. I cringed as he ordered a large bowl of biscuits and gravy, stack of pancakes, and a side order of bacon. “You have to start eating healthier,” I insisted.
“There’s the old Maddie coming back,” he laughed.
It felt good to have these feelings. They were a great sign that my memories would soon return. It was a couple weeks until Christmas, and then I’d get to take my trip to Portland. I knew in my heart that the trip would bring me back from this blank mindset I’d been in for so long. It was the key to getting myself back.
“Did you book the flight yet?” I asked while my mind was on the topic.
“No,” he replied and gave me an apologetic look.
“When do you plan to do that?” I pushed, knowing if I didn’t stay on him, he’d never do it. Why didn’t he want to go to Portland? What was there that was scaring him so badly? Was it the man in my nightmare? Was he hiding the fact something horrible happened to me out of fear I couldn’t take it. I could take it. I am a big girl, and obviously I lived through whatever the horrible event was, so why hide it now?
The waitress brought our drinks and then disappeared back into the kitchen. My eyes were still glued to Isaac’s, waiting on the answer. “I’ll book them this afternoon,” he promised.
My lips stretched into a wide smile, grateful that he planned on keeping his word, and anxious about the upcoming trip. “I think this is all I need,” I blurted out eagerly.
He smiled, but his eyes shifted. Yes, there was something he didn’t want to face in Portland.
I asked about a couple of his cases, and he gave me vague details. One I found extremely interesting was the one where he was trying to catch a woman’s violent ex stalking her. “Aren’t you stalking her in order to track him?” I teased.
“Essentially, yes,” he laughed.
It was nice just to talk about normal things, things that normal people talk about. “Does Beth go on late night stakeouts with you?” I asked, suddenly experiencing a twinge of jealousy. Isaac smiled, his cheeks turning a light shade of red. “She has,” he admitted.
I didn’t like the feeling I was having. My gut twisted, and my eyes began to twitch. “There’s never been anything between us,” he quickly assured me.
My cheeks started to heat up as I realized how my jealousy must’ve been so visible to him. Am I a jealous person?
“I’m sorry,” I whispered as the waitress brought our meals. Isaac laughed and told me not to worry about it as he gripped the syrup container and began spilling it all over the cakes. Wow, he is not a healthy eater. “I’m going to have to break you of this eating style,” I teased.
“You’ve been trying for years,” he chuckled.
A flash opened in my mind, something new, not what I was shown in the pictures. Isaac was tall, blond, and wore a football jersey while I strolled beside him. The ground beneath our feet was dirt, and noise was everywhere, screaming, laughter, music, and loud bells. I closed my eyes to get a better view of this new image in my mind. A fair: we were at the fair. I couldn’t have been more than sixteen, and Isaac eighteen. “Your heart’s gonna clog with that,” I said with a snarky tone. Isaac laughed, turning his head towards me as he bit into the corn dog in his hand. “I have,” I sighed, opening my eyes to Isaac across the booth.
“You have what?” he asked confused.
I shared with him the memory I’d just had, and he quickly confirmed it was true. “That’s the summer before I took off to college,” he sighed.
A warm, comforting feeling fell over me as he talked about that day. Most of what he said was still lost on me, but some, some of it I could actually remember. “This is amazing,” I exclaimed.
“Yes, it is. See, the doctor told you it would start happening,” he smiled.
“Tell me more about our past together,” I pleaded.
Isaac shook his head. “I can’t interfere with your natural memories,” he insisted.
“This isn’t like telling me I like to mop the floor twice a day, or that I love baking apple pies so you can have a clean kitchen and a belly full,” I joked. My eyes pleaded with him, but he still said nothing.
I sighed. “These are real memories, and knowing more from you may help me to remember on my own,” I added.
Isaac was hesitant but finally gave in. He started back when we were super young, and my family moved in next door. “We used to use flashlights to signal each other at night,” he chuckled at the memory.
“What kind of signals?” I asked, eager to learn more about how close we’d been all these years.
“One flash was to say goodnight, two was to say meet me in the backyard, and three was to warn of a parent coming,” he explained.
I watched his eyes dance as he spoke. It was obvious those memories were very close to his heart. I felt a tug on my heart strings as he talked, simply from looking at the excitement in his eyes.
The waitress dropped our bill off at the table, and Isaac quickly took it. “I need to start working again,” I insisted.
“Not until you’re ready,” Isaac stated firmly.
“I’m ready,” I said, anxious to get out of the house all day. He chuckled and winked in my direction as he slid out of the booth. “Let’s get through the holidays, and then we’ll talk,” he smirked.
All these feelings were making me anxious; I didn’t know if I could wait until after the holidays. I wanted to go now, today.
“I promise, I’ll book the flight today,” he assured me.
Chapter Fifteen
Isaac
Beth was up my ass as soon as I walked into the office Monday morning. “You tell her yet?” she asked.
Damn, she nipped at my ankles like a small dog wanting attention as I made my way to my private office. “No,” I admitted, but didn’t want to indulge her on why.
“Isaac, you have to; things are going too far,” she insisted.
I knew that, I wasn’t an idiot, but I loved this woman with all my heart. “I can’t risk her getting hurt,” I snapped, moving towards my safe.
“You don’t think you lying to her all this time is going to hurt her?” she persuaded.
“I don’t trust this guy, Beth. He’s a bad man, and with the nightmares Maddie’s had, there’s no way I can allow her to run back to him,” I snarled.
Beth sat down in the chair facing my desk. She crossed her long legs, tapped her knee with perfectly manicured red nails, and pursed her lips into a pucker. “How are things going between you two?” she asked.
“They are going great actually,” I smiled, pulling Maddie’s phone from the safe.
“Has he called anymore?” she asked, motioning to the Motorola in my hand.
A green light flashed at the top of the phone, so I slid my thumb across the screen to see what message was waiting. My stomach churned as I noticed four more missed calls from Rob, and several texts begging for her to come back. “This guy isn’t going to leave her alone,” I sighed, sitting in my tall leather chair.
“What’s he saying?” Beth asked.
I handed her the phone and let her read the texts herself. Her nose crinkled as she stared at the screen, and then looked up at me. “Yes, he’s good,” she sighed, handing the phone back to me.
I clicked on the voicemails and let them play. His voice was sincere and filled with worry. “Baby, I know you wouldn’t just take off like this; please let me know you’re okay. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. I just really need to hear your voice,” Rob pleaded on the phone.
“You think she wouldn’t buy into this?” I asked sarcastically.
Beth shook her head. “I always fell for it,” she admitted.
“Then you agree, I can’t tell her,” I growled.
“I didn’t say that. Maybe
if you helped her remember on her own how bad this man is,” she suggested.
“She’s already remembering. Yesterday at breakfast, she had several breakthroughs remembering us as kids,” I sighed.
Yeah, she remembered. Fuck. Our time together is already shrinking.
Beth seemed excited about the memories, but I wasn’t so sure they were a good thing. I loved that she was remembering us, but that meant soon she’d remember him, and that there was no us at all.
“I booked us a flight to Portland for after Christmas,” I blurted.
Beth stared at me with her dark eyes, her lips still pursed together, and her chin shifting from side to side. “That’s a good plan,” she said with little confidence.
“Yeah, until she walks into her apartment and sees all the pictures of her and Rob,” I whined.
My head was spinning as I pictured the look of confusion on Maddie’s face when she realized we weren’t a couple and that I’d lied to her.
“Maybe she’ll remember how he hurt her once she sees his face,” Beth encouraged.
Maddie’s phone vibrated across my desk. I picked it up, seeing it was another call from Rob. “What am I going to do about this?” I asked, holding the phone up so Beth could see the name of the caller.
Her eyes widened and her head shook as she stared at me with dark eyes. “See if he left a voicemail,” she suggested after the ringing stopped for a minute.
I hit voicemail, and of course, he’d left another one. “Maddie, or whoever the fuck this is, I need someone to answer me. Your landlord said some man was paying your rent; where the hell are you, and who is this man? Are you safe? Please tell me you’re safe, or I’m coming to find you, and whoever this is that’s holding you against your will,” Rob’s voice threatened through the phone.
His threats made me uneasy, mainly because I knew if the cops got involved, I’d be thrown in jail. “I can’t let him find her,” I told Beth.
“You can’t let him find her, or you,” she stated.
I knew that was a true statement.
“What do I do?” I asked.
Beth reached up from her seat and snatched the phone from my hand. “There’s only one way to handle this guy,” she said, opening the text box.
“I’ll send him a text from Maddie,” she added.
I walked behind her so I could see what she typed.
Maddie: Rob, leave me alone, I am safe.
Rob: Where are you?
Maddie: With friends.
Rob: Who? Is this even Maddie?
Maddie: Rob, please, leave me alone. I don’t want to talk to you or see you.
Rob: Who’s paying your rent, and why aren’t you paying it yourself?
Maddie: That’s none of your business.
Rob: If this is really Maddie, tell me where we met.
“Do you know where they met?” Beth asked me.
My heart raced, realizing it wasn’t going to be easy to get rid of this man. I shut my eyes, trying hard to remember all the comments and posts that Maddie had on her Facebook. “Dori’s Ice Cream Parlor!” I exclaimed.
Maddie: Dori’s Ice Cream Parlor.
Beth looked relieved as she sent the text. “That should prove to him that it’s her, she sighed.
Rob: This isn’t Maddie. I’m coming to find you!
I took the phone from Beth and turned it off before putting it back into my safe. “Do you think he can find her?” Beth asked.
“I don’t know,” I sighed.
I didn’t know. Anything was possible. Fuck. That was my job, to find people who didn’t want to be found, and to expose secrets that had been so skillfully hidden. There were lots of guys like me in the field, and if he found a good one, then yeah, Maddie would be found, and so would I.
“I can’t tell her now,” I groaned.
“No, you can’t,” Beth agreed.
My phone started ringing, reminding me that I had a job to do. Beth left my office, and I answered. It was Paul Gallo, one of my highest profile clients. He used to be in the mob, when the mob was cool, and now retired. He spent his days at a swanky country club next to the pool. He went through women like crazy, all way too young for him, and all out to get their hands on his fortune. He used me to find out the dirt on them before he got too close. So far, he hadn’t been able to get too close to anyone, but this one he was really hoping was different. “She’s older,” he said proudly on the other end of my phone. His usual girlfriends were always in their early to mid-twenties. “She’s thirty-three,” he added, almost causing me to choke on the laughter I swallowed.
He went on to tell me that he had a big New Year’s planned for her, a ring that he’d offer to her to become his wife, but before that, he needed to be sure she was the one. I hesitated, knowing that I promised to take Maddie to Portland right after Christmas. I knew that Beth could handle the case without my help, but I also knew it might be a great excuse for me to postpone the trip. “I’ll handle it,” I agreed.
I called Beth into my office and explained that Mr. Gallo needed surveillance on his new love interest. “It must be done before New Year’s,” I sighed with a fake exhaustion.
“I can handle it, so it shouldn’t interrupt your plans with Maddie,” she offered eagerly.
“He can be a tricky client. He likes having me on call,” I argued.
“You’re trying to get out of this trip, aren’t you?” she smirked.
She knew me too well. I fought back my grin and swallowed the lump in my throat, the one I got when I lied. “He’s a huge client,” I explained.
“Understandable, but this is Maddie’s life we’re talking about. You can’t keep putting her recovery on hold,” she lectured. “The longer you do, it seems more likely that you only worried about your own feelings, not hers,” she added with a stiff frown following her statement.
“Okay. Here’s the file. You can work on it this week, but if things become overwhelming, or Mr. Gallo so much as scoffs at the fact you’re working the case and not me, I’m postponing the trip,” I insisted.
“Fair enough. So, that frees up your day tomorrow; why don’t you take Maddie to do something fun?” she suggested.
“She used to love antiquing; at least she did when we were in high school. There is a huge antique flea market shop not far from here, and a new beach to experience,” I smiled.
Yes, I liked that idea. I’d take Maddie to do something fun and create new memories for her, for us.
“Have you decided what to get her for Christmas?” Beth asked.
I leaned back into my chair, the leather squeaking as I adjusted my hips. I pulled my arms over my head, crossed them, and intertwined my fingers as I thought about her question. I hadn’t thought about what to get Maddie for Christmas. It would be our first real Christmas together, and, most likely, our last. I knew it had to be something sentimental, something that would show I knew her, truly knew her. But the truth was, I didn’t really know much about her since she graduated college. It would have to be something from her past, something that would help her to connect back to who she was, but not trigger her memories of who she’d become.
“I’ll think of something,” I smiled.
Chapter Sixteen
Maddie
Isaac gripped my waist, his fingers working furiously tickling my sides. “Stop it!” I giggled excitedly. My cheeks hurt from laughing so hard, and he was relentless, obviously loving the fact he had me so giddy.
Finally, he stopped, his body pressing its weight onto me, my back sinking into the plush mattress. My sides were sore, but my cheeks ever sorer from the laughter. His beautiful green eyes glistened like jewels from the sunlight entering our room. Our room. That was the first time I’d referred to it that way. It felt good. It felt natural.
“You’re going to be late for work,” I said softly, our lips so close I knew my breath tickled his skin when I spoke. His eyes narrowed, and his smile widened as his hands moved back to my sides. “No, please,”
I cried out joyfully. “You love to torture me, Isaac Lewis,” I scolded with a playful tone.
His fingers lingered on my sides, my extremely sore sides. He didn’t touch me, didn’t tickle, but instead lowered his lips onto mine and kissed me passionately. I melted into the mattress, no longer worried about the threat his fingers made on my side. His tongue rolled across my lips, parting them gently, and then entered my mouth. My entire body reacted to the kiss, to the passion it embodied. I was falling for this man, and for the second time, I giggled. I’d been wishing desperately to remember the past, but at that moment, for the first time, I was glad I couldn’t. It was nice to experience all these firsts with Isaac, even if they weren’t truly firsts. They felt good. They felt amazing.
My arms wrapped gently around his neck, pulling myself up and into him so my tongue could push deep into his mouth. I don’t know how I ever doubted this man’s honesty.
“Seriously, you’re going to be late,” I whispered as our kiss ended.
“I’m not going in today,” he smirked.
My legs wrapped around his waist and back, clamping together at the ankles. I had him locked in, unable to escape, but he didn’t seem to mind. He rolled his body, so hard, with his hands gripped to my waist. In a quick rush, I was on top of him, and he beneath me. “I want you,” he whispered.
Our eyes were locked onto one another’s, and now my pussy pressed against his erection. I wanted him too. “There’s a condom in the nightstand drawer,” he instructed.
I leaned over, opening the drawer, and pulled out a condom from a fresh, unopened box. I tore it open as Isaac slid his pants down while bucking me with his hips. I slid down to his legs, staring at the large, veiny muscle between his thighs. My mouth watered as I lowered myself for just a quick taste. My body was hungry for him to be inside of me, and I wasn’t willing to waste much time on foreplay. We were both already excited, his cock rock hard, and my pussy dripping with juices. My lips pressed tightly around the tip of his cock, and I sucked hard as I lowered down his shaft. My cheeks sucked in, creating the suction needed to make him groan. A loud pop noise sounded as I released his cock from my mouth. I looked up at him, smiled, and loved seeing the passion and desire on his face.