by Liz Johnson
“Go ahead,” the man said, his hand still on his own piece.
Nate pulled out the black-leather case and flipped it open. The woman walked forward to take a closer look and nodded to her partner. “Looks good. What’s going on here?”
“This is my home,” Danielle piped up. “Nate was just dropping me off and I noticed that my door handle had been tampered with. He came in first to check it out, and he found Ridley in my bedroom.”
“You know this other guy?” the policeman said.
“Yes. I’ve been substitute teaching a course at the community college, and he’s enrolled in it. He threatened me tonight when I said I wouldn’t go out with him.”
The woman with red hair walked toward Ridley, handcuffs in hand. “Turn around, and put your hands behind your back.”
At first it looked like he was going to comply. He spun around, but then continued, doing a complete three-sixty. Suddenly he sprinted toward the front door, banging heavily into the female officer and shoving her to the floor. In a flash there was only one person between him and freedom. Danielle.
The male officer was running toward the door, but he was too far away and wouldn’t make it there in time. “Don’t let him get away!” he yelled.
Danielle jumped out of the way. Then, just as Ridley passed her, she stuck out one foot, catching his. He flew to the ground, grunting in pain as the wind was knocked out of him.
Danielle hopped on one foot, a smile on her face, as the two officers jumped on the fallen man, cuffing him and charging him with assaulting an officer and resisting arrest. They were reading him his rights as they escorted him to the back seat of the cruiser.
“I’ll be right back to get your statement,” the woman said to Danielle, who nodded. She looked about ready to sink into a puddle, and she still stood gingerly on her right foot.
“Did you hurt your foot?” Nate asked, as he came alongside her, putting his arm around her back for stability.
“I think I twisted my ankle when I tripped him.”
“Let’s sit down then.” He helped her to the couch, then jogged to the freezer and pulled out a bag of beans. “They’re not peas, but they’ll do,” he said, as he laid them on her ankle. His joke earned him a smile just as the officers came back in. They sat in the chairs across from Nate and Danielle, offering reassuring smiles.
“Tell us what happened tonight.”
Danielle obliged, going into detail about her first encounter with Ridley in the parking lot at the college the week before and the look on his face at church the previous Sunday. She explained how she felt creeped out by his watching her, and how he’d threatened her that night.
And she did it all without ever saying Goodwill’s name.
She knew that if she brought Goodwill into this mess, it would become even harder to separate the good guys, the bad guys and the really bad guys.
A swell of pride filled his chest and he had to physically stop himself from hugging her close to his side.
“And what about you Special Agent Andersen? What brings you to Crescent City? You’re a ways from your home office.” Apparently Officer Henderson had read his ID closely.
“I’m just taking some continuing education courses at the college and visiting my friend Danielle.”
“Mmm-hmm,” the officer grunted. He didn’t sound like he believed Nate, but the pair stood and moved toward the door. “Stay close to town in case we have other questions for you.”
“Will do. Thank you officers,” Nate said, as he closed and locked the door behind them. Returning to sit by Danielle on the couch, he let her put her head on his shoulder. They were silent for a long time.
“Can I get you anything?”
“I don’t think so,” she said. “I just feel so all over the place tonight. I was terrified. Then I was just so angry at him that I wanted to scream. This is going to sound crazy, but I was mad at him for not being the real person I should be afraid of. I was mad that he was trying to make me scared when I have plenty of that going on without his help.” Her voice hardened. “I was mad that he was in my home, the place that’s supposed to be safe. I was just mad, and then I couldn’t even see straight. I wanted to tackle him.”
“And now?”
“Now I just want to sleep. I’m so tired.”
He glanced at his watch. “It’s almost midnight. No wonder you’re so tired. I’ll go. You get some rest.”
“No. Please don’t leave yet. Stay for a little while longer.”
He was halfway up, but slowly lowered himself back to the couch at her plea.
“Okay. Just a bit.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and she snuggled into his embrace.
She exhaled, her head falling onto his shoulder once again, and her eyelids drooping slightly. “Is it always going to—” A yawn cracked her jaw, and she giggled. “Sorry.”
“Is it always going to what?”
“I don’t know. Be like this?”
Squeezing his eyes closed, he prayed he could dodge the bullet he knew she was asking, and the unacceptable answer he had to give. “I doubt it. Once we nail Goodwill’s man, everything will calm down. I don’t think there’s anyone else out there looking to break into your house.”
She offered a small chuckle while shaking her head. “That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”
His throat suddenly went dry, and he swallowed uncomfortably. But he didn’t have a response. His history hadn’t changed. Couldn’t change. He still had nothing to offer her. And he had to tell her as much.
No matter how much he cared about her.
SIXTEEN
Beneath Danielle’s cheek Nate’s shoulder tensed, his muscles twitching slightly. She lifted her head and tried to swing around to face him, but his hand on her shoulder kept her from twisting fully.
“Nate? Is something wrong?”
He cleared his throat and opened his mouth, as though ready to speak. Like a fish he closed it without saying a word. Such unusual behavior from a normally confident man.
Silence hung heavily on them, as she finally shifted from his embrace and turned to meet his gaze. His eyes were clear, but she couldn’t read his emotions in the dark gray depths. There wasn’t even a hint of blue in them today, and it made the fair hairs on her arms stand on end.
Rubbing the bumpy flesh on her forearms, she finally broke eye contact, searching for something—anything—else to focus on.
“Danielle.” His voice was soft, pleading, as he hooked his index finger beneath her chin. Lifting until their eyes locked again, he swallowed thickly again. “I’m sorry.”
Dear, Lord. It was the only prayer she could manage before the ambiguous look in his eyes solidified, and her chin started an uncontrollable quiver. “You don’t—I mean, you and I—there is no—”
And then she couldn’t stay seated a moment longer. Her feet pounded the floor as she paced wall to wall, her apartment never feeling so small. Nate stood as well, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. With hunched shoulders he looked smaller than usual.
And was that pain etched across his face?
“Danielle, I am sorry. I didn’t mean for this to get so far out of hand. I thought I could make it so no one would get hurt. But I can’t be who you want me to be. I have a history and a past that I refuse to repeat. I won’t be my father or my grandfather.”
“But you’re not them!” Her voice rose and almost cracked before she clamped both hands over her mouth and turned her back on him. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she knuckled them away with clenched fists. He wasn’t worth crying over. He wasn’t.
Maybe if she kept telling herself that, it would make it true.
Father, we have something special. I know we do. Why won’t he take a chance? Can’t he see that I’m scared, too? But I’m willing to try for a future together. I’d rather push through my fear than miss out on what You have for me. Why is he being so stubborn that he won’t do the same? He’s not his father! Why can’t he see it?
&
nbsp; Nate walked across the room, getting so close to her back that his breath stirred her hair. She longed to turn into his embrace and just have him hold her. But that could only make things worse.
“Danielle, I’d hurt you if we tried to pursue something between us. Don’t you see? I’d only end up ruining whatever we could have had. There can’t be an ‘us.’”
Swallowing the sob that rose in her throat, she clenched her fists and turned to face him. Imploring with her eyes, she tried to convey every confidence she had in the two of them—every reason for them to stay together. He looked away, shaking his head, and she reached for his arm.
“Nate. Please. We can do this together. I know you want us to be together.”
Something like hope flashed in his eyes for a split second before he shook his head. “No.”
“Please—”
“No.” Another curt shake and a small step back as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t want it. Whatever you thought this—” he pointed back and forth between them “—was, it’s not. I’m sorry…but don’t you get it? This is for your own good. I’m no good at relationships.”
She just shook her head. “How would you know? You tried once in college, and it didn’t work out. Why won’t you try again?”
“I know my history.”
“That’s not your history!”
“Yes it is. My dad. My grandpa. It’s all my history.”
“But you could break the cycle. You don’t have to live like they did. Aren’t you willing to even try?”
“And risk hurting someone I genuinely care for?” He sighed, stabbing his fingers into his hair. “Danielle, I do like you. A lot. I don’t want you to be upset. And I’d never want to hurt you the way that I inevitably would. I just—” He shrugged, his face pinched with pain.
She rubbed her eyes, pressing against the burning there, as she walked around the couch, needing a little more space. There had to be something she could say, something she could do to convince him of the truth.
Clearing her throat and taking a deep breath prepared her for her last try. “Don’t you think that God would help you make a relationship successful?”
“Of course, I believe He would. If that was His plan for me. But it’s not. I realized a long time ago that I’m supposed to be single for the rest of my life.”
Her breath left her nearly as fast as it had at the moment of impact after her bike crash. Clinging to the back of the couch, she leaned over and tried to regain control.
She felt Nate make a step toward her and held up her hand to stop him before raising her eyes to meet his. “A long time ago? You knew a long time ago? That you’d be single forever.”
He nodded, confusion covering his face. “Yes. Back in college. After everything with Georgia.”
This man by words and actions had shown that he cared for her—made her believe they could have a future. She’d let him into her life—the first person she’d let see the real Nora since before that terrible night in the alley.
And like a coward he’d betrayed that promise and her trust. He’d never even thought about having a future with her. He’d led her on, letting her hope for the best, all the while never putting his own heart on the line.
Ire that she hadn’t even known existed rose in her heart. She tried to tamp down the anger splintering her soul before realizing it could give her the strength to send him away.
“If that’s how you want it, then I want you out of my house now,” she said, her tone rigid, all trace of tears vanished.
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
“It’s too late for apologies. I want you out. Get out now!” She pointed at the door, and he nodded, resolute as he walked to the door.
“Fine. But I’m going to be outside your door all night.”
“I don’t care what you do. I just don’t ever want to see you again.”
“God this all went so wrong. I have no idea what just happened here.”
Nate sat in his car, leaning against the steering wheel and watching Danielle’s door. There hadn’t been any movement since she kicked him out of her house more than three hours before. The outside light still shone, but all of the lights behind the curtains and blinds were off. She was sitting in total darkness or laying in her bed, trying to sleep.
Maybe she could sleep, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to rest for a long while.
“God, give me wisdom.”
He’d been shooting spurts of prayer toward the roof of his car at irregular intervals since Danielle kicked him out. It seemed the only way to let go of bursts of steam that threatened to shoot out of his ears.
He’d thought that she wasn’t getting as attached as he was. He’d thought they could stay friends and no one’s heart would be risked. He’d thought…well, a lot of things.
Apparently none of them right.
“God, how did I end up messing up this situation so badly? I just don’t understand. I was doing everything right.”
Except for kissing her around just about every corner.
“Except for that,” he grudgingly admitted. “But I was in control of the situation. I had it completely covered. Danielle was safe—I was safe—and we were so close to figuring out who’s after her.”
He could feel it deep in his gut. After years in the Bureau, he knew the instincts that kicked in right when a case was about to break. And this case was about to break.
And, of course, he was completely out of control of the whole situation. He was good at being in control. Good at solving cases, investigating leads, following tracks.
He was terrible at being idle. Terrible at not knowing what to do next. Terrible at not being in control. But that was exactly where he found himself.
The moon slid behind a cloud, laying a blanket over the outer edge of the parking lot where Danielle’s light didn’t reach. The wind stirred, and the dried leaves of fall rustled in haphazard circles.
He was antsy. He had to get up and do something.
Stepping into the brisk autumn air, he made a quick walk around the building’s perimeter. It was completely dark on the other side of the building, the clouds blocking the light from even the strongest stars.
As he walked, his mind kept conjuring Danielle’s face, her soft features and bouncing brown hair, but he couldn’t think about her now. That mess was a distraction. One he hoped they could work out later. Right now was about the case. About protecting Danielle.
With a conscious effort, he brought the details of the case to the front of his mind, thinking through the little things that had fallen by the wayside during the last couple days of panic. Ridley and Kirk had both been suspects of sorts, but obviously neither of them was the Shadow. So who was it? Was it another man in Andy’s auto class? Someone they’d bumped into at church? Someone from the Y?
He methodically thought through the men he’d come in contact with, dismissing each with either an alibi or lack of menace.
But suddenly his mind jumped to the weight of Danielle’s foot in his hand the night before as he gently laid the frozen-veggie bag on her ankle. Her skin was soft and pale, and it brought to mind the first time he’d administered first aid to that same ankle after she’d been chased through the woods.
That day he’d run around his entire complex, looking for the man who chased her. But he’d only seen a woman.
Immediately another memory jumped to light. This time of the shoe prints on his deck. As he looked at them in his mind’s eye, they were smallish. Maybe too small for a man’s. Could it be a woman’s?
But how had he dismissed those clues?
He pounded his fist on his thigh, catching the corner of the bruise that Kirk had given him. He groaned in pain and disgust with himself.
Oh, Lord, I’ve been looking for a man, but it’s a woman, isn’t it? I’ve been distracted, worried about my feelings for Danielle, and I’ve missed the clues. I was so worried about being in control of this mission and my att
raction to Danielle, that I overlooked the most obvious part of the assignment. Please forgive my arrogance and help me find the woman that’s after Danielle.
His suspect had been sitting in front of him the whole time, and he’d failed to even recognize her.
On the backside of the building, he picked up his pace, hurrying toward Danielle’s door. They had phone calls to make, and this wasn’t about whether or not he’d misled her about their relationship. This was about her safety.
He was almost to the corner when the moon escaped from the protection of the clouds. Its light was already beginning to fade, dawn on its way. But it was enough to reflect off the metal barrel that materialized before him.
“Won’t you ever leave?” asked a voice, sweet like chocolate and hard as iron. He knew it immediately. “I swear, everywhere I go, you’re there. It’s like you won’t let Nora out of your sight for two minutes. Who are you?”
Nate opened his mouth to answer, unsure just how honest to be, but she didn’t seem to really care.
“It doesn’t matter. This ends now. She’s mine.”
He didn’t hear the gun firing. He only felt a searing fire in his right arm before falling to the ground.
It sounded like a car backfiring right outside her window. Or a gunshot.
Danielle jumped from a sound sleep, glancing at her clock. It was just past five, and she hopped out of bed to investigate. Throwing a sweater over her pajamas as she tiptoed across the living room, she glanced at the lock on her front door. Still in place. Peeking through the blinds, she spied Nate’s car sitting where he had parked it the night before. But he wasn’t there to expand his academic horizons.
He was probably asleep in the office. Definitely. He wasn’t in danger. She hadn’t heard him moving around in the office last night like she usually did, but her mind had been filled with other things.
A twinge of concern plucked at her heart, and although she tried quickly dismissing it, her stomach rolled. He was a grown man. He could handle himself.
Except if that had been a gunshot.
If it had been a gunshot aimed at Nate, she needed to check it out. No matter how angry he had made her, she wouldn’t run again. No matter how much her insides quaked at just the thought of going outside. She wouldn’t turn her back at the first hint of danger as she had with her father.