“Don’t worry,” Freddy said confidently as they walked back through the door. “It’ll be different this time.”
But halfway down the hallway Freddy stopped suddenly.
“I don’t remember there being another door here,” he said, pointing at a small black door across from them.
Freddy tried the doorknob, but it was locked. He pulled out his Wriggle-Jiggle, yet before he could insert it in the lock, the door swung open.
“YEOW!” said Wally as he jumped on top of Theodore, flattening the blue Fry.
“Ho-how di-did that ha-hap-pen?” Freddy stammered.
There was a flash of light, and the next thing they knew, they were running for their lives. They raced down the hallway, through the hole, into the basement of the Burger Castle, up the steps, out the front doors, across the drawbridge, and onto the street.
Stopping to catch his breath, Freddy’s mind was whirling so fast he could barely understand what he was thinking. As his head cleared, Freddy was sure of one thing. There had been a man down there, dressed in what looked to be clothes from a very long time ago. He had looked right at Freddy. His mouth was open and he seemed to be trying to say something, but all that came out was one long moan.
And that wasn’t all.
The man had lights flashing all around him. And he had been hovering at least two feet OFF the ground!
CHAPTER 3
THEODORE’S COCONUTDUMDUM
At the slightly run-down Funkhouser farm, Freddy, Howie, and the Fries dashed into one of the old barns far from the old two-story house. Freddy pulled a hidden lever and the floor opened under them, and they all fell about ten feet and landed in a soft pile of hay. They were now in Freddy’s underground lab.
“I need to fix that,” Freddy reminded himself as he pulled hay out of his navel.
“I wif ud ix it tu,” mumbled Howie, spitting hay out of his mouth.
“Stairs might be in order,” pronounced Theodore as he put back on his glasses.
Wally slowly stood and looked sheepish. “Uh-oh,” he moaned. Under him was Ziggy, flat as a pancake.
“Sorry, little papoosie,” he said, prying Ziggy off the ground. “For such a skinny guy, I actually weigh a lot. It must be heavy bones.” As he attempted to help Ziggy up, he accidentally hit the yellow Fry in the back of the head. Ziggy’s arms, legs, and face immediately fell off.
“I hate when it does that,” cried out Meese. “It’s disgusting to have body parts all over the floor.”
“Boy, I wish my face and arms and legs fell off like that,” declared Si.
“Hey, that’s my arms and legs you’re talking about too,” said Meese. “And I want them all to stay right where they are.”
Freddy kicked Ziggy in the butt, and all Ziggy’s parts flew back on. “I gotta fix that too,” Freddy reminded himself.
The Fries had set up their living quarters in Freddy’s lab, and so there were five bunk beds on one side of the wall.
Freddy and the gang all gathered around Freddy’s long lab table, which was crammed with equipment and gadgets that he was working on.
“Okay, guys, did you see what I saw in the room?” he asked.
They all looked at each other and then at him, and one by one they slowly shook their heads.
Howie explained, “You were standing in front of me, so I couldn’t see anything that was in that room.”
“Yeah, you started screaming and yelling and took off running, so we just followed you,” said Si.
“That’srightIwasscaredbecauseyouwerescared,” mumbled Curly.
“What did you observe that petrified you so comprehensively?” asked Theodore.
“Maybe he should tell us what scared his pants off first, Teddy,” said Wally.
“THAT’S WHAT HE JUST SAID, YOU BIG PURPLE DOUGHBALL,” cried out Ziggy, who was still obviously upset at being smashed flat.
“Well,” said Freddy, “I saw a man wearing really old clothes. And he was moaning. And that’s not all. He was also floating in the air.”
The others stared at him dumbfounded, while Theodore scratched his blue chin. “That is quite a conundrum,” he said.
“I love cocunutdumdums,” said Wally excitedly. “With the little marshmallows, and whipped cream. Dee-licious.”
“A conundrum,” explained Theodore, “is a puzzle, a mystery that needs to be solved. It has nothing to do with coconuts, marshmallows, or whipped cream, my fine purple friend.”
Wally looked crestfallen. “Bummer, blue dude.”
They watched as Theodore’s eyes spun in his blue head, a sure sign that he was thinking with maximum computing power. At last he said, “If you saw a man dressed in clothes from a long time ago, and he was floating in the air and moaning, and it wasn’t simply a hallucination, then I think you may have been witness to an apparition of supernatural composition.”
“That would’ve been my guess,” agreed Wally, but then he looked puzzled. “Uh, what exactly did you just say?”
“I exactly said that I believe Freddy saw a ghost.”
“A GHOST!” screamed Wally, jumping up in the air and hitting his head on the ceiling before falling back to the floor and rubbing his noggin.
Theodore nodded. “I have just now made a comprehensive evaluation of my databases and that is the only conclusion that conforms to the evidence now available.”
Wally proudly announced, “I, too, made a com … a compr … uh, a eval … er, vul, uh, a …” He suddenly smiled and restarted with confidence. “I made a constipated evacuation of my ductwork and that’s what I think too.”
Theodore said, “I think we need to do some research into the actual history of the Burger Castle.”
“Howie and I can go to the town library tomorrow after school,” replied Freddy.
“But Freddy,” said Howie, “we have to get busy on the science competition. We don’t even have a project picked yet.”
“Howie, if Theodore is right and it was a ghost I saw, that would make a terrific science project. If we could discover its source, we could maybe solve one of the greatest mysteries of all time. We’d be a lock to win the competition.”
As Freddy was going to sleep that night, all he could think about was what he’d seen. Had it been a ghost? If so, whose ghost was it? And why was it at the Burger Castle? It was both scary and exciting.
As he finally drifted off to sleep, Freddy hoped tomorrow brought some answers.
CHAPTER 4
THE MYSTERY OF SILAS FINKLEBEAN
After school the next day, Howie and Freddy rode their bikes to the town library.
“Don’t forget, Freddy, we have to register for the science competition as soon as we’re done here,” reminded Howie.
Inside the library, they passed a big banner that had been hung across one wall. It read: HAVE A QUESTION? IT’S “ASK A LIBRARIAN” WEEK.
“Well, I guess we came to the right place for answers,” joked Howie.
At the front desk they asked the elderly librarian for information about the history of Pookesville. She brought out a book, stamped the checkout page, and handed it to Freddy.
“No one’s checked out that book in a long time,” she said. “What are you two boys looking for?” she asked.
“Freddy thought he saw a ghost —” began Howie before Freddy clamped a hand over his mouth and dragged him to a table in a deserted part of the library.
Freddy read the title of the book aloud to Howie. “The Entire History of Pookesville in 31½ Pages.”
“Well, it’s not that big of a place,” commented Howie.
Freddy flipped through pages and then stopped. “Omigosh, Howie, look at this picture.”
“That’s the Burger Castle!” said Howie excitedly.
“Shhh!”
They both looked up. The librarian had come around the corner and was looking at them very severely. “This is a library,” she said quietly, “not a sock hop.”
As she went away, Howie asked, “Uh, F
reddy, what’s a sock hop?”
Freddy was reading the story accompanying the picture of the Burger Castle. He said absently, “I don’t know. Must be something only really old grown-ups know about.” He straightened up and turned to his friend. “Listen to this. I was wrong. The people who owned the Laundromat didn’t build the Burger Castle building. It was there a long time ago. It says here that the place used to be a private home.”
“Who’d want to live in a place like that?”
Freddy read some more. “A man named Silas Finklebean, that’s who.”
“Silas Finklebean? Never heard of him.”
“Me either, but the book says he was very rich and eccentric. He built the home to remind him of his youth growing up in Scotland. A Scottish castle, I guess.”
“It must have cost a lot of money, even back then.”
“The equivalent of a million dollars in today’s money,” said Freddy, reading.
“A million dollars!” Howie cried out.
“Shhh!”
They looked over to see the gray-haired librarian looking at them again. “This is your last warning. This is a library, not a malt shop,” she added shrilly.
As she walked off, Howie said, “Uh, Freddy, what’s —”
Freddy interrupted. “I don’t know what a malt shop is either, Howie.” He pointed to a picture of a man dressed in a zebra-striped three-piece suit and a hat and big glasses.
“I guess that’s Silas Finklebean, but you can’t really see his face with the hat and glasses in the way.”
“Gee,” said Howie, chuckling. “He sort of dresses like your dad.”
Freddy continued reading the pages. “It says here that Silas Finklebean was a scientist and inventor. And he made a fortune from one of his inventions.”
“Which one?”
“It doesn’t say. Anyway, he used the money from that invention to build the castle.”
“So how did his castle end up being a Laundromat and then a restaurant?”
Freddy skipped ahead in the chapter. He read a bit and then his face paled. “It says here that one stormy night a long time ago, Silas Finklebean went into the basement of the castle.…”
“Yeah, yeah,” said Howie. “And what?”
Freddy turned to face his friend. “And, he disappeared.”
Howie’s big eyes got even bigger. “When you say ’disappeared,’ what do you mean, exactly?”
“I mean that he disappeared into thin air in the basement of what is now the Burger Castle, and no one knows what happened to him.”
“I really wish you hadn’t told me that. Terror makes me wet myself.” Howie paled and crammed five cheese cubes in his mouth.
“After that, the castle sat empty for years. Then someone bought it, but they couldn’t live there.”
“UMPHGHEU,” said Howie.
“What?”
Howie swallowed the cheese cubes in one orange lump. “Why couldn’t they live there?” he asked breathlessly.
Freddy read some more. “Because strange sounds and weird floating things frightened them away.”
“I wish you hadn’t told me that. Utter terror makes me want to poop in my pants.” Howie looked puzzled. “But, Freddy, how come we’ve never seen or heard anything like that at the Burger Castle before now?”
“Can I help you with anything?”
They snapped their heads around. There was the librarian again. She sat down and looked at them kindly.
“I’m sorry I was a little abrupt with you earlier. But I have to admit, I am curious about why you asked for that book.”
“Do you know anything about a man named Silas Finklebean?” asked Freddy.
She stared at them in surprise for a long moment. Then she said in a low, quiet voice, “Silas Finklebean? I actually knew him.”
“What!” exclaimed Howie and Freddy together.
“I was a little girl back then, but I remember him as if it were yesterday. People called him the town eccentric, but he was always nice to me. And he helped lots of people in town who needed it. A good Samaritan.”
“So how come they don’t have a statue of him in the town square like they do Captain Pookes?” asked Freddy, referring to the soldier who had founded Pookesville.
“Well, I guess they would have, but then he just disappeared.” She added sadly, “And I guess the people sort of forgot about all the good he’d done for them.”
“Gee, that’s not fair,” said Freddy.
“No, it isn’t,” she agreed. “Now, what else can I help you with?”
“We were wondering what Silas Finklebean did to make all that money,” Freddy told her. “The book says it was from one of his inventions, but it doesn’t say which one.”
“Nobody knows which one. And while he was an inventor, I also remember that he was very lucky when it came to betting on things. It seems he never lost.” She paused and looked at them closely. “Why are you so interested in Silas Finklebean?”
“Well,” said Freddy slowly, “my dad owns the Burger Castle.”
She clapped her hands. “I thought I recognized you! You’re Freddy Funkhouser. You won the Founder’s Day Parade competition.”
“That’s right.”
“I’m so glad your family won, because, between you and me, I don’t really like the Spankers.”
“They’re not easy to love,” said Howie, trying not to laugh.
Freddy asked, “Uh, do you have a picture of Silas Finklebean? The one in the book doesn’t really show his face.”
The librarian got up and returned a minute later with a small picture. She handed it to them.
“That’s Silas Finklebean,” she said quietly.
Freddy’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. He grabbed Howie and the book and raced out, leaving the librarian looking stunned.
As they ran down the street, Howie yelled, “What got into you?”
Freddy looked at him. “Silas Finklebean was the guy I saw in the Burger Castle basement. The guy floating in midair.”
CHAPTER 5
HAROLD J. PUMPERNICKEL
Freddy and Howie ran from the library back to the school, where a long line of students were waiting to enroll in the science competition. As the two boys took a place at the end of the line, someone bumped Freddy hard from behind. He turned to see Adam Spanker standing there with a nasty grin.
“Hey, Funky, don’t tell me you’re entering the science competition! It’s for people with real brains.”
Howie yelled back, “Freddy has more brains in one of his butt cheeks than you have in your whole body.”
Adam balled up his fists.
“Watch it, Adam,” warned Freddy; “there’re teachers all over the place.”
Adam stuck a big finger in Freddy’s chest. “Yeah, well, there won’t always be teachers around, Funky.” He looked past Freddy and his face brightened. “Hey, Harold.”
A skinny boy with orange hair joined them. Harold J. Pumpernickel was the only kid in school who might possibly be smarter than Freddy Funkhouser.
“What’s happening, Harold?” said Howie.
Harold said shyly, “Hi, Howie. Hi, Freddy.”
Adam grabbed Harold around the shoulders and pulled him close. “Hey, no being friends with the enemy.”
“Are you entering the competition, Harold?” asked Freddy.
Adam snapped, “We’re entering the competition, right, partner?”
“Um, that’s right,” answered Harold quietly.
Freddy stared at them, dumbstruck. “You’re partners?”
“Not just partners,” announced Adam gleefully, “but we’re going to win too, aren’t we, Harold?”
“I suppose we have as good a chance as anyone,” he said politely.
“Oh, yeah?” said Howie in a confident tone. With all the teachers around he was feeling a lot braver than usual. “News flash — WE’RE going to win.”
“Ha-ha,” said Adam. “That’ll be the day.”
“
We will too win,” insisted Howie.
“Well, if you’re so sure, why don’t we make a little bet?”
“What kind of bet?” asked Freddy nervously.
Adam said, “If I win, Funky, you have to come to work at the Patty Cakes for a whole month, without pay, and you have to do everything I tell you to do.”
“And if I win?” said Freddy.
“Not a chance, but then I come to work at the Burger Dump for a whole month.”
“It’s the Burger Castle” cried Freddy.
“Whatever. So, is it a deal, Freddy the Freak?” Adam held out a huge hand.
Freddy hesitated, eyeing Adam and then Howie, and finally Harold Pumpernickel.
“What’s the matter? Are you scared to bet’cause you know you’re going to lose?” sneered Adam.
“Of course he isn’t,” said Howie. “He’s just thinking about what stupid costume he’s going to make you wear when we win, right, Freddy?”
Freddy got a stubborn look on his face. “Right, Howie.” He shook hands with Adam and then yelped as Adam smashed his fingers together in his grip.
“Boy, I can’t wait for this contest to happen, Funky. You’re going to look really cool in a Patty Cakes uniform taking the garbage out. And without you there to help out, that ratty place you call a restaurant will go out of business.”
Freddy’s eyes popped. “Hey, wait a minute.” Then he suddenly noticed that lots of people in line were listening intently.
“You already shook on it,” said Adam quickly. “If you try to back out now, everybody will know that you’re nothing but stinking, yellow-bellied chicken scum.”
Howie yelled, “Well, he’s not backing out because we’re going to beat your tiny brain out.”
“So long, Funky,” crowed Adam, ignoring Howie’s taunt. “We’ll get you measured for the Patty Cakes uniform real soon.”
Harold waved feebly to Freddy and Howie and left too.
As they walked off, the crowd around them disappeared. But then Nancy came flouncing by in a pair of fake leopard-skin pants, brown galoshes, and a pink scarf that went down to her knees.
The Mystery of Silas Finklebean Page 2