Bitter Sweet Love (The Dark Elements - Book 1)

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

  Once a demon was captured, it was promptly sent back to hell or interrogated. I wasn’t supposed to know about these things as females were kept out of politics, but there’d been many times over the past, while suffering a never-ending case of boredom, that I had eavesdropped on my father’s conversations. I knew that there were locations in the city where demons were questioned, using tactics that had frozen the blood in my veins.

  Tension radiated from Dez. It was palpable in the air. “You want to be out there, don’t you? Hunting?”

  “It’s hard not to.” He glanced down at me, his eyes a deep blue and lips a dark gray. “It’s ingrained in us.”

  So they said. I turned my attention back to the ground below. Carrying out my desire to hunt a demon here would be too risky. We could run into a clansman and that would bring this little trip to an end. Still, the idea of that many demons out when there wasn’t even a quarter as many Wardens to handle them was disturbing.

  A cool wind tossed my hair and teased the thin membranes in my wings, causing them to flutter restlessly. “Why are there so many?”

  “No one knows what went down in hell or why so many demons were cast out.” Dez turned and reached down, offering me his hand. “But the numbers are growing. They’re up to something—something big.”

  I placed my hand in his, letting him pull me up. “But we’re going to stop them.”

  He smiled as he hopped down on the rooftop and then placed his hand on my hip. I didn’t need the help, but he insisted and I let him. “Do you want to head back to the hotel or go down to the streets?”

  It was late and I knew as the hours went by, a battle of sorts would take place in the streets and even in the skies. As badly as I wanted to be out here, I wasn’t stupid. A female Warden would end up being a demon magnet and getting Dez in major trouble. My desire to experience both a hunt and more of the city would have to wait.

  “Let’s go back.”

  Heading to the other side of the building, I darted in front of him, tossing him a grin over my shoulder. “Beat you back to the hotel?”

  His laugh was deep and rumbled through the night. “It’s on.”

  Vaulting the ledge, I hit air and spread my wings, using the burst of wind to carry me up. I didn’t have to look behind me to know that he was right there. I flew up between the two skyscrapers, my laugh lost in the rush of air as I soared over the building. We shot up, circling a long and thin antenna. Dez gained on me, but I dipped, gliding down, past so many floors I lost track in the fall.

  It was like old times, when we were kids and would race over the mountains, back to the mansion. I glanced over my shoulder, spying Dez through the strands of my hair. The chase was different now in a way. My muscles quivered in anticipation, and not of winning the race.

  We were neck and neck as I nosedived over the top of our hotel. As I’d done above the mountains, I let gravity do its thing. I tucked back my wings and the world spiraled as I picked up speed. Lights. Darkness. Lights. Darkness.

  “Jasmine!” Dez’s shout became a mere whisper.

  At the last second, a heartbeat before it would be too late, I unfurled my wings and flipped, touching down in the alley on my feet. Chunks of asphalt flew in the air at my impact, startling a man walking a dog at the end of the alley, sending them both scurrying down the street and into the night.

  Dez landed half a second later and was in my face even quicker. “What in the Hell were you thinking?”

  “I won!” I twirled, arching my wings. “That’s what I’m thinking.”

  He caught my arm, stilling me. His eyes blazed with fury. “You could’ve killed yourself pulling a stunt like that.”

  “Aw.” I patted his chest. “Were you worried?”

  His brows slammed down. “What do you think?”

  I laughed, unwilling to let go of the giddiness of victory. “I’m still faster than you.”

  “It has nothing to do with how fast you were. You suicide-bombed it right there.”

  Shaking my head, I inhaled and phased into my human skin. As always, my jeans and shirt were stretched out after the change. “Chill, buddy, I know what I’m doing. I’ve been doing it every night for three years practically.”

  His mouth dropped open.

  “Okay. That didn’t sound right. But I was in control.” I sighed. “I like the way it feels when I’m falling.”

  He stared at me a moment longer and then phased. “That’s absolutely insane.”

  “Maybe.” I shrugged. “I still beat you.”

  Dez barely said a word to me as we headed up to our room. Like the night before, I commandeered the bathroom first, freshening up and changing into something to sleep in while he did who knows what in the main room. The same nervousness I’d experienced last night returned with a vengeance. Then, we’d both been exhausted, but tonight I was too amped up to go comatose so quickly.

  I passed him on the way out. Grabbing the remote control, I dived onto the bed and tugged the covers up. I concentrated on finding something on TV while I heard the water come on and then shut off. My stomach dipped when the bathroom door opened and he strode out.

  I believed he’d forgotten his shirt.

  Nylon gym shorts rode low on his hips, low enough that I wondered what magic he was using to get those dark blue shorts to stay up. He tossed his clothes onto the floor while I eyed his chest. When he glanced at me, he caught me staring and holding the remote control like a complete idiot.

  “Sorry.” He went to the other side of the bed and tugged the covers back. “It’s warm in here.”

  “Turn up the air.” I watched him climb in and let the sheets linger at his hips.

  He lay back, biceps bulging as he folded his arms behind his neck. The darkness of the soft sheets created a strong contrast against his golden skin. “Already did.” Pausing, he looked at me. “Does this make you uncomfortable?”

  No. Yes. It made me want to drool. I shook my head.

  “Fine.” His brows rose slowly. “What are you watching?”

  I glanced at the screen and my eyes widened. I must’ve stopped on one of the premium movie channels. It was a sex scene. Boobs—big boobs—were everywhere. And a whole lot of breathy moaning.

  I’m pretty sure my face had caught fire.

  Quickly changing the channel, I finally gave up and tossed him the remote. Like an old man, he settled on a local news station. He dropped the remote on his chest. I eased down on my side, pretending to watch the news while I was really studying his profile. A muscle ticked along his jaw.

  I squirmed. “You’re still mad at me.”

  His gaze slid sideways. “I’m not mad.”

  “Yes, you are.”

  He didn’t say anything for a moment and then picked up the remote, muted the TV and dropped it on the small table beside the bed. He rolled onto his side, facing me. “When you fell, it scared me.”

  “It shouldn’t have. Like I said, I knew what I was doing.”

  “But I didn’t know that.” He reached over, plucking up a strand of my hair and twining it around his finger. “I had no idea what you were doing.”

  I didn’t say anything as I watched him unravel the twist he’d created.

  “It was a pretty cool tactic,” he admitted, and I grinned. “Just warn me next time.”

  “Not if we’re racing. Then I won’t have the upper hand.”

  He smiled slightly. “Wait. Do you think you had the upper hand?”

  “Of course I did.”

  “I’m going to disagree,” he teased, lashes lowered. “You did not.”

  “Whatever.”

  He inched closer, raising up on one arm. “You don’t believe me?”

  “No.” I laughed, rolling my eyes. “You overestimate—”

  Moving lightning fast, Dez shifted and I was suddenly underneath him. His arms were on either side of my head, caging me in. Our bodies didn’t touch, but I felt him to the tips of my toes anyway.

  The teasing
grin disappeared when I dragged in a deep breath and my chest brushed his. Everything changed in an instant. The playful mood faded, replaced by primal heaviness. Our gazes collided and locked. Neither of us moved. His closeness sent a series of shivers skittering across my skin and made it hard to take slow, even breaths. My body tensed when his gaze dropped to my mouth.

  He tilted his head to the side. “I... I honestly have no idea what we were talking about.”

  “Good. Neither do I.”

  He shifted his weight onto one arm, bringing him closer. “Have you enjoyed your trip so far?”

  “Yes.” I felt as if I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs.

  “Good.” He lowered his head. His breath was minty as it moved across my cheek and then my lips. “I’m glad.”

  I wasn’t really following the conversation and I wasn’t sure that he was fully aware of what was coming out of his mouth. I searched my hazy brain for something to say and wet my lips. I—

  The sound that came out of Dez’s chest rumbled through me. A stuttered heartbeat passed and then his lips were on mine. There was nothing slow about this kiss. It scorched my skin and caused my body to stretch tight like a bowstring. The kiss deepened, spinning my senses. I shuddered when his hand curved over my shoulder and drifted down to my waist, his long fingers spreading out under the hem of my shirt, grazing the bare skin of my stomach.

  I gasped, floored by the raw sensations pounding through my blood. My skin felt as if I was about to phase. Maybe I was.

  “Jasmine,” he whispered, the word falling against my lips, and then his body was pressing mine into the mattress, heavy, sweet and hard.

  Nothing could’ve prepared me for the weight of him or for how my body responded without thought. My hands went to his shoulders, skimming down the taut skin of his back. His muscles flexed under my palms as his mouth trailed a fiery path to my chin and then down my throat.

  He paused, lifting his head. Dez’s pupils stretched thin and the heat in his smoldering gaze should’ve had me running from the bed, but all it did was make me want more. And I hadn’t wanted more with anyone else. I hadn’t even wanted a kiss beyond the curiosity of experiencing one, but with him, I wanted everything and that was frightening. Enticing. Thrilling. I moved again, and he shuddered, closing his eyes.

  Those eyes opened again and met mine as he sat back. Disappointment rose swiftly, but then both his hands were on my waist, his fingers tangling with the edges of my shirt. Breathless, I lifted my upper body and he gently pulled the shirt over my head.

  I lay back, eyes wide and dizzy. Cool air washed over my bare skin and tiny bumps spread across my flesh as his gaze, intense and heated, swept over me.

  “You’re beautiful.” He moved his fingers with such exquisite delicacy, causing my back to arch and my skin to tingle. “So beautiful.”

  I was beyond words. He lowered his head, kissing me deeply. When he pulled away, he nipped at my lip, wringing a sound from me that would most definitely embarrass me come light of day.

  Dez trailed a fiery path of little kisses down my neck, across the curve of my shoulder, and then down, exploring in a way that spun my senses. Sensations raced through me and it was like freefalling through the sky.

  Flames ignited inside me when his chest came down on mine. The feel of skin against skin was a startling experience. His lips were against mine again, and I wrapped myself around him, wanting and needing to be closer.

  I wasn’t in control of myself and there was something wonderfully freeing in that moment of letting go. My hands flattened along his lean sides as I hooked my leg around his. He murmured something under his breath as he lifted his head, expression strained. My body curled around his and the pressure of that movement was shattering.

  And then he rolled off me and onto his back, throwing one arm above his head, the other over his chest. He stared at the ceiling as his breathing slowed.

  My heart was still pounding erratically, heightened by the confusion swirling inside me like thick smoke. I sat up and my hair fell into my face. I made no move to push it back. I was afraid if I did move, I would pounce on him. “Why did you stop?”

  “Why?” Dez laughed, but it sounded strangled. He closed his eyes again, cursing low as he rubbed his palm down his jaw. “I’m not stupid, Jas.”

  That was so not the response I was expecting.

  As I stared at him, some of the heat burning me up from the inside faded. “I don’t follow.”

  He dropped his hand and pried one eye open. A smile crossed his lips, but it was wrong—all wrong. “This can only go so far, Jas. And being here, in this bed with you, makes it hard not to take it all the way. And there’s one problem with that. I know you don’t plan to tell me yes at the end of this.”

  Chapter Ten

  We ended up not leaving the city until the following afternoon and the trip south, toward the nation’s capital, was quiet. It had been that way since last night. Dez hadn’t treated me any differently. Quite the opposite. He talked, he prodded at me and tried to coax me into conversation as we left New York and crossed into New Jersey, but I was too caught up in my own thoughts.

  I lay back in the seat, head tilted toward the passenger window. Buildings and houses blurred in a steady stream. A bitter taste lingered in the back of my mouth, a cocktail of guilt, shame and confusion, and no amount of drink or food would wash it away.

  I kept telling myself that I had nothing to feel guilty about. I hadn’t abandoned Dez. He’d been the one to leave me and I hadn’t made him any promises, but the reassurance rang hollow.

  Even my sister couldn’t truly understand why I was so resistant to the idea of mating with Dez, especially considering how much I’d cared for him. But when he left and when I finally accepted, after the many months had turned into a year, that he wasn’t coming home, I had mourned him. Grieved him as I had my mother. I could recognize the blessing of him returning, but three years of mourning was a long time to let go of and I didn’t even understand why he’d left. He claimed it had nothing to do with my father’s offer and it was obvious that he wanted me, but I needed more. Answers for one thing, and I wanted what my parents had had in their life together—love and trust.

  Part of me recognized that I was still in love with Dez, that I never stopped loving him, but I didn’t believe he felt that way for me. Not in the way I needed him to, and as for trust? What’s to say that a year from now he wouldn’t just up and disappear again?

  I shifted in my seat, restless.

  Maybe more than our past was keeping me wary. Perhaps it had to do with me. After all, the whole mating business was serious. I’d be pledging myself to someone for my entire life. The very moment I mated, I would be thrust into adulthood, facing very adult demands. I wouldn’t be the only eighteen-year-old to do so, but it was a lot to even think about. Maybe I wasn’t ready and my excuses were really just that—excuses. A crutch.

  We’d crossed into Pennsylvania hours ago and as the SUV eased into an exit lane for a town called West Chester, I straightened in my seat and glanced at Dez. “Where are we going?”

  “You’ll see.”

  And that was all he said as we drove through the town and then beyond, onto a narrow winding road that was crowded by thick trees. He turned onto a road I hadn’t noticed. About five minutes later, he parked along the shoulder. Dust filled the air as we climbed out.

  I looked at Dez expectantly. “You going to tell me what you’re up to?”

  He reached down, took my hand and started walking down a worn patch of dirt that formed a trail. Twigs snapped under our feet. “After I left the clan and before I made my way to the West Coast, I did a lot of traveling and I stumbled across this place.”

  My heart jumped in my chest. A lake! He’d mentioned before that he’d found a perfect place for the skinny-dipping condition. This had to be it. Oh, God, why had I suggested this?

  “The place is off the beaten track, very peaceful.” He held a low-hanging bra
nch out of the way so I could dip under it. “Anyway, I think you’ll like the lake.”

  Yep. There. He’d confirmed we were fulfilling another condition. My palms felt sweaty, and I slipped my hand free, wiping both of them on my jeans. Dez didn’t say anything, but slid around me, clearing the branches. “Did you... come here a lot?”

  “Twice. I stopped on the way back to the clan. I needed to clear my head. It was a good place to do so.”

  I stared at his back, watching his muscles play under his thin cotton shirt. I wanted to make some joke or clever comment but nerves had a hold on me.

  The heavy foliage and undergrowth thinned out into a small stretch of land that butted up to an outcropping of large, smooth boulders surrounding a lake.

  “Careful,” Dez murmured. “These rocks get kind of slippery.”

  I smiled absently. His concern was really sweet, but I wasn’t in any danger of falling and cracking my skull open.

  Fading sunlight glinted over the gently rippling water. I wandered closer to the shimmering surface and knelt, dipping my fingers into the cool water. With the exception of the soft calls of birds and the rustling of leaves, it was quiet here.

  “It’s beautiful,” I said, standing.

  “I think so.” There was a pause. “I know why you think I brought you here, but I really don’t expect you to skinny-dip.”

  Turning around, I smiled at him. “I thought that was what you were most looking forward to.”

  “Oh, don’t get me wrong. The mere thought of you swimming with nothing but the water...” He trailed off, cleared his throat, and I flushed to the roots of my hair. “Anyway, all of this is for you.” He spread his arms wide, indicating the lake, and beyond that, the entire trip. “You’re supposed to be having fun, not feeling uncomfortable.”

  I tucked my hair back as I sat, plopping my butt on one of the boulders. Lowering my hands to my knees, I willed them to stop shaking.