“Mmm.”
“Did you and Anna…did you used to date?”
He gave a dry laugh. “What we shared was more than dating. She’s very special. Very sweet.”
It sounded as though he loved her, but she was married to his brother. Destiny had a strange reaction to the tone in his voice as he spoke of the other woman. She quickly changed the subject. “Can I get you something? Is there a doctor I should call?”
“Always looking for an excuse to call someone. I’m fine now. At least I understand what happened to me.”
“What happened to you, Cain?”
“Don’t you worry. It’s over now. Just lay with me a while as I wait for my strength to come back.”
Destiny carefully slipped off her muddy boots and climbed onto the bed beside him. She didn’t want to crowd him if he were feeling sore or ill so she left a bit of space between them. However, as soon as she settled, he pulled her close and snuggled her into his side. Destiny smiled. She liked the way he held her.
* * * *
Gracie left the safe house smiling and nearly plowed into Dane. She quickly shut him off from her thoughts. It had become a reflex, since learning he, too, could see into peoples’ minds. His hands caught her by the shoulders and steadied her. She gasped and pulled herself out of his grip.
“Dane, what are you doing here.” Something was wrong. She could tell by the tight set of his shoulders and the crease of his brows. She probed his mind, but found his thoughts closed off as well. She felt guilty for having talked to him so cruelly the other day, but knew it was best to keep her distance from the young man.
“I came to see the bishop.”
“Oh.” She looked to the fields and shifted her feet, searching for something more to say. “Anna had the baby. His name is Cain Paul Hartzler.”
He frowned. “She named him after Cain?”
“Yes.”
“Well, that’s nice, I guess.” He shifted awkwardly.
“What do you need to see Eleazar about?”
His lips formed a thin line as if he were debating on sharing his purpose with her. “I want to leave the farm for a bit.”
Sharp disappointment cut to her heart. “Why?”
“I need to check on my grandmother’s estate. I don’t want to wait until Jonas returns. There are things I need to ask about.”
“Are you planning on living there?” Although she couldn’t entertain thoughts about Dane and her as far as futures went, she didn’t want him to truly leave.
“Perhaps when I turn eighteen. I don’t know. I don’t really belong here, but this is where Cybil wants to stay. I don’t want to leave her, but…”
“Then don’t.” Her voice sounded angry, but she couldn’t ignore the sense that he was betraying her by leaving, abandoning her. It was irrational of her to expect him to stay when she could make him no promises, yet she wanted him to all the same. She wanted him to fight for her and perhaps convince her foolish, stubborn mind that it would be okay to love him, to finally be loved.
He sighed and then looked at her through softened eyes. “Ask me to stay and I will, Grace. Give me a reason, and I’ll never go.” She remained silent, knowing she couldn’t promise what he asked for. He was so young. He would grow and change and eventually move on and fall in love with someone else. What he suffered was merely a childish crush.
His brow creased. “That’s why I need to go. I have no reason to stay.”
“Stay because you like it here, because your sister’s here.”
His shoulders sagged, and he suddenly looked very much the confused seventeen-year-old boy he was. “I don’t know. Maybe I will. I have just as little out there as I have here.”
Her heart ached for him. Such tragedy had befallen his family after their mother was murdered in the woods. Poor Cybil never spoke, and Dane seemed to carry the blame of what had happened. Although Gracie’s father had played a part in the children’s lives, he had not saved their grandmother in time. They were truly all alone in this world.
She gently slid her hand down his arm and squeezed his hand. Their eyes met, and that same pull she had ignored since meeting him returned. “You have friends here,” she whispered softly.
He withdrew his hand from hers. “What if I want more than friendship?”
She gazed at the porch floor. The wind cut through her cloak and loosened her bonnet. She tugged a strand of hair away from her face. “Isn’t friendship enough?”
“Not with you,” he said, and she saw a side of him that was incongruous with his young age. There was something very determined hiding inside of Dane, something that told her he would someday be a great man.
“I’m sorry, Dane. You’re still young—”
“You aren’t that much older than me, Grace.”
“Regardless, there is more of an issue with age than you realize.” Mortals died and death was something her kind rarely dealt with. Because they rarely suffered the grief of losing a loved one, they feared it all the more.
“That’s an excuse, and you know it. Same as you being Amish.”
“It’s not an excuse,” she said defensively. “You mock our beliefs, but they are all I know. I have seen what happens when our people do not marry the way God intended us to. I will not do that. I will have but one husband in this lifetime, Dane Foster, and you will not make me feel guilty for that.”
She turned to storm off, and he grabbed her wrist, halting her escape. Electricity pulsed from his touch to her heart. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to mock you. This is why I have to go. I want to collect some things from my grandmother’s. I’ll be back, but then I have to start thinking about my future. I want a family someday, Grace, and I can’t have that here where every woman sees me as some sort of a pariah.”
“You are not a pariah.”
He pursed his lips. “I’m not Amish.”
There was nothing more to say. He also wasn’t immortal, but he couldn’t know that was the true reason they would not suit. That and the fact that, after what she had watched her parents go through as uncalled mates, she would never be with anyone other than her true called mate.
She was twenty-two, a woman with thoughts and curiosities about the opposite sex like any other female her age. It was only her fear of loss that kept her needs in check. While God was a graceful and merciful Being, He was also the deciding force of their race. She would not be fool enough to challenge her destiny the way her parents had.
It seemed that for as many blessings as a calling brought, it also delivered many curses. Cain had suffered ever since Annalise had come into their lives. Her parents had nearly drowned in the unstoppable sorrow that fell upon them. While Larissa and the bishop were happy, Larissa’s previous marriage had been anything but. Grace figured Silus was so cruel to her sister because he had not been her true called mate, and there was no sacred bond forcing him to put her first.
A calling was the only way to guarantee at least a minimum of contentment in this world. But if that was true, why was she so unsatisfied and lonely? She stepped away from Dane. There was no point in torturing herself. “You’re right. I hope you find what you’re looking for, Dane.” She turned and fled down the safe house steps toward home.
* * * *
Cain awoke to find Destiny sleeping against him, warm and soft and oh so sweet. He kissed the little beauty mark by her lip, and she slowly opened her eyes.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” she rasped.
“Did you have a nice rest?”
“Yes.” She stretched in his arms and turned. “How are you feeling?”
“Better. Did you enjoy your day on the farm?”
“I fed a baby calf.”
He smirked. The image of Destiny holding a bottle to a calf’s mouth rather than a microphone to someone’s was quaint in some way. “Did she show you the kittens?”
Her eyes lit up. “No. How old are they?”
“Only about two weeks.”
“Will yo
u show me tomorrow?”
“Yes.” He leaned forward and kissed her tenderly. She was so warm and soft. He pulled her close, and she came willingly. They kissed for several long moments, just enjoying the feel of each other in their arms. “You are a very good kisser, Ms. Santos.”
She smiled and then she blushed. “I don’t even know your last name.”
“It’s Hartzler.”
“Why thank you, Mr. Hartzler.”
“Are you hungry? It’s late, but I can bring us something from the kitchen.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” she asked.
“No, you stay here. I’ll be back in a minute.”
He’d made a plate of cold meats and found two slices of cherry pie. When he entered the room Destiny was fiddling with some sort of electric device. The female had a different gadget every time he saw her. “What is that you have?” he asked as she placed it on the table beside the bed.
“My phone. I was just checking my text messages.”
“What’s a text message?”
She lifted the phone and touched the screen. A colored bubble showed up and inside it read I miss you. We need to talk. Love u.
The name above the note read Adrian.
“Is Adrian one of your girlfriends from home?”
“No, Adrian’s my ex-boyfriend.”
Cain frowned. “If you’re no longer with him, then why is he telling you he loves you.”
She shrugged and touched the screen again making the image disappear. “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter though. We’re over.”
He didn’t like the idea of some other man writing love notes to her. “Adrian doesn’t think so.”
“Well, he can think whatever he wants. I’ll never take him back.”
“Why?” He didn’t know why he cared, but he did.
“He lied to me.”
“What did he lie about?” He handed her a small piece of meat and she nibbled it. She had cute little teeth behind those full lips.
Shrugging, she said, “Everything. The kind of man he was, what he was doing with his money, the people he was spending his time with. You can’t love someone if you can’t trust them. It doesn’t work.”
“Did you love him?”
“I did. I probably always will a little, but that isn’t enough to make me forgive him for betraying me.”
He thought for a moment as he took a bite of food. This Adrian was obviously a fool for spoiling a chance with such a sweet girl. “Would you have married him?”
“Probably. I’m getting older. I want a family someday. We laughed a lot. That has to count for something, right?”
He frowned. She wasn’t old. She was barely over thirty. Although, Cain supposed, according to mortal women, that would be considered older. “How many children do you want, Destiny?”
A smile curled her lips, and a dreamy expression filled her eyes. “I’d settle for one, but if I had a good husband and could afford to be home with my children, I would have a bunch.”
That surprised him. “You would give up your career?”
“In a heartbeat! Family’s more important than anything. If I had a husband who took good care of us, I would be more than happy to push all the other stuff aside in order to be a good wife and dedicated mother.”
Something warm spread in Cain’s chest. He could imagine Destiny doing just that. She was a good observer, always asking questions, always learning. She had asked Gracie why she did things a certain way in the kitchen, and Cain saw her eyes move as she catalogued that little tip away for future use. “I think you’ll make a good wife for some man someday.”
She pursed her lips and made a sort of discouraged expression. “If it were only that easy. Being single at this age is tough. Most men over thirty are either divorced or single for a very good reason. There are a lot of weirdoes out there.”
He had never done more than sleep with English women. He wondered how English looking for something more than a quick frolic handled courting. “Where do you date?”
She tilted her head. “What do you mean?”
He thought for a moment. “Well, Amish typically socialize after service. Weddings are another good place to become acquainted.”
“Oh, where do I meet guys? Well, there are bars, and the Internet—computers—friends, work.” She shrugged.
“And you have not found a man you would marry?”
“If I had I wouldn’t have slept with you.”
He laughed. Moving the plate aside, he stretched along the bed and pulled her down beside him. “Well, it’s a shame you’re not Amish. I think you would make a lovely wife. Wrap you up in a bonnet and get you out of those silly men’s pants and you would do just fine.”
She laughed, and he kissed her. He didn’t know why he would make such a comment, but he couldn’t deny the honesty behind his words. She would be leaving soon, and he didn’t want her to go. If only the Amish thing were the biggest reason she couldn’t stay. He could find ways around that. The truth was, she was mortal, and he was not.
Rather than focus on the future he couldn’t change, he focused on the present. He slowly opened her shirt, and Destiny, of course, surrendered to his desires. She allowed him to play and touch her, giving him complete control. Soon enough she was sobbing in pleasure and calling out his name.
Chapter 21
The next several days were wonderful. Vito seemed to be enjoying his time on the farm. He had been as proud as a peacock the day he helped Cain mend a wagon. Destiny had started a collection of recipes to add to her hope chest when she returned home. Presently, Gracie was teaching her to make a shepherd’s pie. Destiny wrote down notes as she explained why certain steps were extra important.
Anna had joined them and was holding little Cain as he slept peacefully. She really had recovered from giving birth with impressive speed. It made the idea of having children a lot less frightening for Destiny, if someday she should be so lucky to have them.
Destiny still wondered about Anna’s past with Cain. There was definitely something there. A woman didn’t name her firstborn after a man unless she cared a great deal for him.
“Cain seems to be in higher spirits these days,” Anna said as she shifted little Cain in her arms.
“I think he’s enjoying our company,” Gracie said, giving Destiny a pointed look.
Annalise turned, and Destiny blushed. She shouldn’t be embarrassed. They were all adults, but not knowing what sort of connection the other woman shared with the man she was currently sleeping with made her feel slightly inadequate.
“Are you and Cain…?” Anna asked leaving the obvious unsaid.
“Um, we…we are having fun getting to know each other,” Destiny offered lamely. What was she, twelve?
The smile that spread across Anna’s face was a relief. “That’s fantastic!” She then turned to Gracie and said, “You know, I haven’t dreamt of Cain since little Cain was born.”
“Really?” Gracie said, acting like this was quite a bit of news.
They both looked at Destiny expectantly. “What?”
“Do you ever have dreams about Cain?” Anna asked.
That was an odd question. “Um, not that I know of. Why? Should I?”
Anna deflated. “No, I guess not.”
“It doesn’t work like that, Anna,” Gracie said sadly. Destiny had no idea what they were talking about. “He won’t dream again.”
“You don’t know that. There are exceptions to every rule. I’m proof of that.”
“Well,” Gracie said as she beat a batter into creamy gravy. “If Cain ever does find his…partner in this life, I’m sure we will step back and appreciate God in all His wonder. Only He knows what’s to be our destiny. It isn’t for us to worry about.”
Destiny felt out of place. She really didn’t have anything to contribute to their conversation, nor did she care to discuss Cain’s future wife when there was no chance of it being her. She also sensed they were choosing their words care
fully and speaking over her head.
She placed her paper and pencil on the table and stood. “Excuse me. I think I’ll go check on the boys.”
As she walked outside she wondered if it was time for them to leave. The more nights she spent with Cain, the more she was making it harder on herself in the end. It would hurt to say good-bye. She told herself not even to think the L word, but deep down she was falling for him.
Her battery had died on her e-reader, and the funny thing was she didn’t care. For the first time in her life she didn’t feel like reading about some other heroine’s love affair. She was living her own.
Cain had come to be so familiar with her body she contemplated if he knew her needs better than she knew them herself. Where she had never before been able to find complete release, all Cain had to do was touch her and she would shatter into a million pieces. But it wasn’t just the sex.
He held doors for her, pulled out chairs, helped her on with her coat, asked if she needed anything. He was, surprisingly, a complete gentleman. She made a private joke in her head that all that southern charm romance authors bragged about was nothing compared to a true Amish gentleman.
There was something different about this Order compared to all the other Amish buggies and farms she had seen in her life. No one here wore beards. The women were all stunning, even without a speck of makeup. Most of the men wore their hair long, and they were all surprisingly tall. The only male she had noticed with a pimple was Dane, but he was a teenager, so that probably explained it.
Aside from the Hartzlers, everyone else kept their distance from Destiny and Vito. They would stare and whisper, but it was no different than when English people drove past a buggy and tried to get a look inside. It was human nature to be intrigued by things and people that were different. While she had started wearing the skirts that Gracie had found for her and Cain’s shirts, she still didn’t look like the other women.
Cain never made her feel anything but beautiful, though. She had never felt so secure in her own skin. She thought of the previous night when she had been with him. He had told her to straddle him and as she took him deep inside of her, he removed her shirt. Under the glow of the lantern, she felt herself blush.
Destiny Calls Page 18