I shake my head as tears blur my vision. Kip takes another step, the warmth from his chest warming my own.
“Was it Erin?”
All I can do is focus on each breath. In and out, inhale and exhale.
Do not cry.
Do. Not. Break.
But one tear breaks loose, scarring my cheek with its wet betrayal. It might be an invisible scar, but I’ll feel this tear forever. And that’s the thing about scars. They’re like skid marks on the highway. No one slows down enough to see the painful proof that something happened. But the road? The road will always remember. The road can’t forget, no matter how many times it’s repaved.
“Was it?” Kip repeats. “Or was it that you were starting to feel something, too?”
I swallow, my eyes on his, trying and failing to meet his challenging stare with my own.
“I know you, Skyler,” he whispers. “I know who you pretend to be in front of all these people.” He sweeps his hand behind him, toward campus. “And I know who you really are.”
His eyes soften a little then, and he leans forward, the electricity sparking between us. I focus on his eyes, willing myself not to notice the thick bulge of his neck, the tightness in his biceps, the heaving of his chest.
“I know the you who doesn’t fit in because you were never meant to. You were born to stand out. You want to pretend like you’re untouchable and nothing can phase you with those people? Play around with a few frat boys, dress up in frilly dresses and keep your reputation? Fine,” he says. “But don’t sit here and feed me that bullshit. I see you, Skyler. I. See. You.”
His hands find my arms, tenderly, but I jump anyway. His cool palms slide up, slowly, covering me with goosebumps as he runs them over my shoulders, my neck, until my face is cradled between them. More tears fall, landing between us as I keep my chin high and my eyes on his.
“Why do you care?” he asks again, his voice low.
“I don’t.”
“Liar.”
My entire body trembles as I lick my lip and pull my eyes to the ceiling again. My next confession slips out in a whisper, a solemn admission I wish I didn’t have to make.
“I don’t want to.”
“But you do.”
I can’t answer. I just swallow, closing my eyes and setting two new tears free.
“This is a no-limit game, Skyler,” Kip says. “Neither of us went into it thinking we would be here, but now we’ve got everything on the table because we’re both too stubborn to give in. I raise, you call. You raise, I call.” He shakes his head. “Back and forth, always in this fucking game. You want to win? Fine. Take it. Take everything I have, but I’m not the one who’s going to walk away the real loser.”
I can’t breathe. My chest squeezes, my breaths like fire instead of oxygen in my lungs.
“If you don’t wake up and realize what you’re feeling — what we’re feeling — is real, then it’s you I feel sorry for,” he says, taking a tentative step back. His eyes never leave mine. “It’s you who loses.”
His words are an ice bucket of water, poured over an already trembling me, the truth of them permeating my skin like they’ll forever be a part of me now.
Kip turns, throwing his hands up and letting them rest on his head as he faces the door. For a moment, I just watch his back, the ebbs and flows of the muscles as he breathes. I feel sick as I squeeze my eyes shut, holding back the sob stuck tight in my throat. My next move isn’t clear — not even close. It’s like staring into murky, black water and trying to find the one and only shiny penny on the bottom.
He’s right.
We are in a game, and if he knew everything I’ve done to play this hand, if he knew about Erin, about the deal, he would hate me.
Which is why I can’t tell him.
And though my stomach sinks at that, at a truth I have to bury away and never let him see, my hands stop trembling. My breaths come more even as I open my eyes, lifting my gaze, and the endless flow of tears halt.
Because I’m done playing the game.
I can’t imagine it, moving on without him, walking away like I don’t give a damn. I can’t imagine a world where his hands don’t touch me, where his eyes don’t light up at the sight of me, where I’m not the one responsible for that sexy smirk.
Kip is mine. He has been since the moment we met.
And I can’t just walk away.
Not even for Erin.
“I care,” I say quietly, weakly, like a prized fighter tapping out in a choke hold. “I’ve cared about you for so long.”
Kip doesn’t face me, but his shoulders pull back, his stance straightening.
“I care that I hurt you, I care that even though I did, you still stuck around, and yes,” I admit, pushing away from the wall until I’m standing straight, too. “I care that Erin was here, that she was in your bed, because I don’t want anyone else in your bed but me.”
The dam doesn’t just crack — it crumbles, the once solid walls tumbling down and letting everything out that I’d fought to hold back.
“I don’t want anyone else in your arms but me,” I continue. “I want to be the only girl in your head when you wake up and I… I was petrified, okay?” My stomach twists. “I thought if I told you I wanted Adam, you would leave me alone. I thought you’d be pissed off and you’d be out of my life completely and I wouldn’t have to worry about feeling this. And on the beach?” I shake my head. “I actually wanted you to be with Erin. It made sense. I figured it was your plan all along.”
Kip scoffs at that, still not facing me.
“No, I’m serious. It makes sense.” My insecurities float to the surface, and for once, I don’t cover them with a cocky façade. “Compared to her, I’m nothing. And I was happy for you. At least, that’s what I told myself. But I don’t know what to do, Kip, because I do care about you.” I swallow. “But I can’t.”
“Why?” He finally faces me, and his aqua eyes are still wild, their intensity locked in on me.
“It’s complicated.”
What more can I say without telling him the truth?
Kip watches me for a beat, and then a long, frustrated sigh breaks through his flat lips. He takes one step toward me, then another, shaking his head as he descends. “I didn’t have sex with Erin, Skyler.”
My heart skips.
“I don’t want Erin,” he says, his strides more purposeful. He’s so close, and he isn’t stopping this time. “It’s you I want.”
My back hits the wall, his chest meeting mine, hips pinning me where he wants me. Every breath that leaves my lungs threatens to never return.
“And less than three weeks ago, you stood in that shower and told me you wanted me, too. So stop being scared, stop caring what other people think, and for once in your life, take what you want.”
My eyes flick to his lips, their demand still hot on my ears as I press forward, closing the distance between us and slamming my mouth on his. We both inhale a breath, long and sharp, our hands reaching, pushing, pulling, all the want and need pouring out of us in one passionate flood.
And I don’t just fall into him — I leap.
I jump, head first, more sure than I’ve ever been that this is right, no matter how wrong it feels. I can’t think of Erin, or of what I’ll do tomorrow when I wake up and realize all that I’ve said that I can’t think back.
All I can think, all I can see, all I can feel is him.
That electricity that sparked between us when we shared our first kiss roars back to life, its energy so powerfully overwhelming my knees buckle from the shock of it. Kip is there in an instant, leaning into me, his hands rounding over my hips until they cup my ass and lift. The force of him pinning me to the wall steals my breath, but I wrap my legs around him, pulling him closer, needing more.
My fingers claw at his shirt, the breaths heavy in my chest as the hunger builds to an impossible level. He pulls it over his head effortlessly and lets it fall to the ground before his eyes meet mine.
And we both stop.
I see the questions, the uncertainty, the wonder if he’s going to wake up to an empty bed again. And right now, I can’t promise him anything, so I don’t speak. And he doesn’t push.
We both know what this is and what it isn’t, and that’s enough.
I grab the bottom of my hoodie and pull it over my head, taking my small tank top with it. Kip’s eyes fall to my chest and I feel his hard bulge between my hips. Moaning at his reaction to me, I grab his neck and pull his mouth to mine again. The first time Kip touched me, I was caught off guard. I was timid and afraid and overwhelmed with guilt. Now, I still know it’s wrong, but I don’t care. I don’t feel ashamed. I don’t feel guilty.
I just feel… alive.
Kip thrusts his hips into me, kissing his way down my neck. When he bites down, I hiss with the mixture of pleasure and pain.
“Fuck, Skyler,” Kip growls, his scruff against my skin making me shiver. “If you keep making noises like that, this is going to be over before it even starts.”
Our breaths are hard, our skin slick with sweat. Warning bells sound in my head — or are those church bells? I can’t decipher if they’re joyous or haunted with warnings of danger.
“Hang on, let me grab something,” Kip says, starting to drop me to the floor.
I shake my head, wrapping my arms around his neck tighter. “I’m on the pill.”
“Thank fuck,” he groans, pulling me in his arms and moving us quickly to the couch. He throws me down, towering over me, lust rolling off him like steam.
I lean up and make quick work of the button on his jeans before tugging them down and over his hips. They fall to the floor, exposing Kip’s more than ample bulge straining against his cotton boxers, and I groan with appreciation. Slowly, I run my hands up his thighs and palm him through the fabric, his head falling back as a deep groan escapes his throat.
Last time, it was him who pleasured me, who brought me to ecstasy with his hands alone.
Time to repay the favor.
Moving my fingertips to the band just below his waistline, I tug them down and his erection springs free, sending a warm pulse of need between my thighs. My eyes find his again as I move my lips to his head, slowly swirling my tongue around the tip before running it along his length.
“Fuck,” he whispers, dragging out the word. I take it as my cue and suck harder.
Blow jobs have always been my gift, and it might as well be Kip’s birthday tonight.
He curses again as I pull him all the way into my mouth, feeling myself grow wetter at the taste of him. I want to devour him completely, to banish every other woman from his memory with my mouth.
Grabbing his ass in both hands, I pull him into me forcefully, his dick hitting the back of my throat. He curses louder this time and pulls out quickly before lifting me to my feet, his eyes wide and wild like he was close to coming, like if he hadn’t yanked me to my feet, this would have all been over already.
I smile up at him wickedly, licking my lips and wiping the corners with my fingers.
He runs the pad of his thumb along my bottom lip, shaking his head. “You know exactly what you can do with this mouth of yours, don’t you?”
Slowly, he runs his hand down the front of my body before tucking his fingertips in the band of my jeans.
“Take these off.”
I do as he says, kicking them to join the rest of our clothes piling up around us. Before I have the chance to look at him again, his mouth finds mine and his hand slips beneath the lacy fabric of my panties. He dips two fingers inside me quickly and I moan against his lips, my legs weakening at the touch.
“I’ve got some talents of my own, you know.” He grins, working his fingers as his palm rubs against my clit. My breath is already labored, my body dangerously close to the edge of release.
Kip uses his free hand to unclasp my bra and sends it flying across the room, an expert move I didn’t expect, and it only fuels my desire more. When one hot hand palms my breast as he continues his assault between my thighs, I moan.
“Goddamn, you are so fucking wet, Sky.”
Desperate, my hands find his cock again and I move in time with his fingers inside me. Our breaths mingle together, both of us wide-eyed as the heat builds. So long I’ve wondered what this would feel like, what it would do to me if I just threw caution to the wind and gave in to my need for him.
Now that I know, I know there’s no going back.
Kip removes his fingers without warning, spinning me around and using his palm to push my upper back down and bend me over the couch. His hands run down my hips and over my ass, hooking my panties with his fingers and pulling them down to just above my knees before letting them fall.
I look back at him, completely exposed in this position as he kisses the backs of my thighs, his eyes locked on mine with reverence. When he stands, he grips himself in one hand, using the other to slide a finger inside me again. I bite my lip and let my head fall back and he quickly withdraws and grabs my hair instead, tugging it with force.
When he positions himself at my entrance, my breath catches, every inch trembling with the need to feel all of him. I’m so far past what’s right and wrong I can’t even see the line anymore. I just breathe him in, the need to be under him, to be claimed. Arching my back, I push my ass against him, the tip of his dick just barely slipping inside me.
Kip groans at the feel of it, and I hiss as he tugs my hair again, gripping it in his fist.
“I’m going to take you, Skyler,” he husks. “But I need you to know that once I do, I’m going to own you. You’re going to be mine. This game between us? The rules are going to change.”
“Take me,” I whisper, the words leaving my lips before I have the chance to decide if I mean them or not.
“Is that what you want?” He tugs my hair a little more, his lips by my ear now. I feel his breath hot on my skin and chills race down my body.
“Take me, Kip. Now.”
He growls, biting down on my neck before pushing inside me — not slowly, but all at once, like a man on a mission to take back what’s his. I cry out as he fills me, again and again, my fists gripping the sofa as the pleasure pulses through me. Kip releases my hair, his hands trailing down my back before gripping my hips. He slams into me harder, pushing deeper as my orgasm builds.
“God, you’re so beautiful, Skyler,” he breathes, his breath strained. “So fucking sexy.”
I don’t even attempt to hide my moans now and they ring out in his apartment, the sounds echoing off the walls as we move. He leans down and palms my breasts in his hands, pulling me up and against him. Moving slower now, he kisses my neck as his hand falls to my clit. He applies just a little pressure but it shoots straight through me, my entire body igniting at the touch.
I moan louder, my breaths uneven until he finally pushes me over the edge I’ve been dancing on with him since the first moment we met. His mouth finds mine and I moan into his lips as I come, my legs shaking against him, all of my weight supported in his arms. Waves of heat roll through me and every sense is dulled, my orgasm owning me completely.
Just like him.
“That was so fucking hot,” Kip says, kissing down my neck before flipping me over. He grabs my hips and lifts them to meet his before pushing into me again, before my orgasm has even fully resided. The intensity throttles me, every nerve jumping to life at the sensation of him stretching me open again. He’s even deeper now, my hips elevated as he pounds into me.
His eyes cascade over every inch of my body as if he can’t get enough of me, as if he’s never seen anything he’s wanted more. He’s the musician, and I his muse — the one he’s been chasing his entire life.
He palms my breasts, pushing into me once more before he finds his release with a groan and my name on his lips. His eyes roll back and I drag my nails down the muscles flexed in his arms as he comes inside me, our bodies trembling together.
And for one, blissful mo
ment, we’re sated and complete.
Then, my anxiety rears its ugly head like it never truly left at all, but just watched from the corner, waiting to pounce as soon as the pheromones were gone.
I reach up and pull Kip down on top of me, kissing him hard as we come down from the high, like those punishing kisses can band all other thoughts. But as our breaths begin to even out, the weight of the night folds in on us.
Kip wraps me tighter in his arms, pulling me into his chest as if he feels it, too. As if he’s trying to protect us from the inevitable reality we have to return to.
My fingertips slowly run the length of his abs and chest, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. He runs his fingers through my hair and we both submit to our thoughts, nervous to say anything out loud.
“Kip,” I start, but he pulls me in tighter, shaking his head.
“Not tonight, Skyler. Just… let’s not ruin tonight.”
I nod, nuzzling into him more.
We know that when the sun rises, it’ll shed light on everything the darkness consumed tonight. Silently, we consider what that means.
We both know what this is and what it isn’t.
But the question remains – can we live with that, or is it time to change the rules?
“Wake up,” a voice says.
I stir a bit, the soft sound of rain pattering against the window as I stretch. Soft lips touch my shoulder and my eyes flutter open. I smile as Kip kisses up my neck to just behind my ear, my entire body coming alive at the touch.
“Mornin’,” he says, pulling back and resting on an elbow. The shadows from the rain on the window dance over his skin and I stare in awe, mesmerized by his effortless beauty.
Suddenly, it hits me.
Everything that corresponded between us last night flashes through my head and I blanch, eyes wide in horror as I bolt upright.
Legacy: A New Adult College Romance (Palm South University Book 4) Page 26