by Annie Brewer
“Why are you mad at him and not me?”
“Because he promised.” Part of me is not paying attention to her words but the other part is like a deer in headlights.
“Huh?”
“Gracie what happened? Why did you two break up?” I move back to the couch to rest my buttocks and legs. Grammy sits down on the foot rest chair across from me grabbing my hands in hers. I instantly feel a sense of calm at her touch.
“I told Nick about my pregnancy the same night he told me about his scholarship he was taking to USC which we already knew about but he also found a place for us to live, so he flipped out. He said we could have kids later in life after we had lived our dreams. But he left me when I told him I wasn’t aborting the baby. He left me alone and scared. I wasn’t sure if I’d made the right choice. I’ve been back and forth on it. But really, I mean what is the right choice? Sure we’ve talked about having kids in the future, but apparently the future is now.”
“I’m so sorry Gracie. That is not fair for you to give everything up and let him go scott-free. He is obligated to this baby. He needs to help take care of this baby. God, that makes me so angry.”
“Oh not to mention I’ve had the worst case of morning sickness and I passed out at work, and woke up in the hospital. That was fun. So it’s been total chaos in my world. Oh yeah and I’m being called a whore by some jealous bitch who wants Nick.” She’s staring at me speechless.
“Wait, you had a job?” Of all the things I just mentioned I had a hunch she’d comment on that. I shake my head.
“Yes, I did. Not anymore though, thanks to my parents and their paranoia.” My mother gives me a strange look and I ignore her.
“Babydoll, I’m so very sorry you had to deal with this alone. Was Meg there at least?” I smile and squeeze her hand. She’s always liked Meg and Mason.
“Yes, she was there and of course Mason too. Oh yeah and they’re finally a couple now.” She smiles, happy at the news.
“Oh that is wonderful for them. I used to tell Meg that she’d end up with him. He’s a neat kid.”
“Me too. But she always denied it.” I lean back into the couch and prop my feet up. “Do you think I’m selfish to keep this baby?” I ask her seriously, wanting to know her opinion. She leaned in so close to my face I could smell her perfume, which made my nostrils twitch. It was an unpleasant scent but I didn’t bother to ask what it was.
“You are doing the right thing. Sure it will be tough at times but you’ll have people to help you. I think you have enough support to make it work. I believe you can do it.” She pats my hand.
“I met someone Grammy. And I really care about him. Love him actually.” She looks intrigued. “His name is Carter. He’s coming tonight. I think you’ll like him. We took Tyler trick or treating and he plays games with him. Nick never took time to play with Ty, not really. He’s really special.”
“And does he know about the baby?” I nod my head. “Well I’ll meet him. Just a warning, I will observe and interrogate the shit out of him.” Then she looks thoughtful and adds, “The last boy I trusted with my granddaughter betrayed me.”
“Grammy, be nice. He’s not like Nick. He won’t hurt me. He was there when I passed out. He was there when I woke up in the hospital. He’s been there and I don’t need you scaring him away. And what do you mean Nick betrayed you? How did he do that?”
“I’m just saying I’m going to watch him. What are his motives anyway?” It’s clear she is trying to dodge my question, so I decide to drop it for now. But I’m more than curious as to what she means by her statement. I jump off the couch, annoyed now.
“He has no motives. Jesus, what is it with you and mom questioning his motives? He’s just a decent guy.” I place my hands on my hips. Grammy notices my bigger bulge and is up in a nanosecond touching my belly.
“How old is he?” She’s rubbing my belly all over.
“The baby is asleep, I don’t feel any movement. And he’s twenty. He’s got nieces and a nephew.”
“That explains why he’s okay with you being pregnant. Older guys are more mature, usually.” That is a fact.
“Alright let’s head back into the kitchen. You didn’t eat much dinner. I saw you picking at your plate. Were you nervous about telling me?”
“Yes, but also was just thinking about a thousand things at once. I guess I will try to have some turkey and mashed potatoes.”
Dinner is quiet again, with the exception of some conversing mostly on Grammy’s part. She’s telling us about her cruise to the Bahamas and all the good looking men on the ship, what she drank and what she did with the other people there. I tune her out as I sit in wonder about what Grammy said. She never told me what Nick promised her. Why would he promise her something and not me? I’ll have to ask her later. I excuse myself and head into the kitchen to get a drink. I hear my father’s voice from the dining room.
“Hey sweetheart.” He gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Dinner smells delicious.”
“Hey dad, how was work?” My father was called to work on a case.
“Long and monotonous. I’m just glad to be home.” He kisses my forehead.
“Carter is coming over tonight.”
“Oh that’s great honey.” I hear more voices, which seems to get louder by the second. I smile when I hear her voice. She comes into the kitchen to greet me.
“Happy Thanksgiving Gracie. Now the party can get started.” She rubs my belly and whispers to the baby. I give her a hug.
“Happy Thanksgiving.” I walk back into the dining room with her and sit down at the table.
“Hey Gracie.” Mason wraps me in a hug.
“Hi Mason. How has your night been?”
“Oh it’s been great. My family loves the fact that Meg and I are a couple now. They said they knew it would happen for years.”
“I told Meg the same thing.” He nods in agreement.
“True, you did. You always teased me about it too. Where’s Carter?”
“He’ll be here soon. He went to his sister’s house for dinner.”
“Oh, so he plans on having his dessert here huh. I wonder what kind he’s planning on having.” Mason teases, nudging my shoulder. I nudge back.
“You’re such a dork.” I tell him laughing. The doorbell rings. I ease out of my chair but practically run to the door and open it before stepping out outside. There’s a slight nip in the air.
“Hey beautiful.” I jump in his arms, kissing him. At first it’s urgent and hungry. My hands are in his hair, around his neck and then they find themselves gliding down his perfectly muscled chest. His hands are running up and down my back, which tickles causing me to squirm. When we both try to catch our breaths, we stare at each other.
“Well, hello to you too.” He says grinning widely.
“Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. I’ve missed you and thought we could share a private moment before going inside.” And getting interrogated by my grandmother, I wanted to say.
“Happy Thanksgiving.” Carter lightly brushes my cheek with his thumb.
“You too. I wanted to warn you my Grammy knows of my pregnancy and she’s not happy with my ex taking off. So her trust in the opposite sex is pretty much gone. If she starts twenty questioning you, just answer as truthful as you can. But I’m certain she’ll love you.”
“Okay, I’ll be the gentleman that he never was.”
“You already are, in my eyes” I kiss him again before we head back inside hand in hand. I’m nervous but Carter is so calm, collected like he has no care in the world. I wish I had his poise. He looks down at our hands when he realizes they are so slick. Our eyes meet and I give a shy smile. “Sorry, I sweat more these days. Or when I’m nervous.” I whisper.
“Shouldn’t I be the nervous one?” He whispers back.
“You’re never nervous. I’m nervous for the both of us.” I reply.
“Stop being nervous babe. It’s going to be fine.” He squeezes my hand.
“Oh there they are. Glad you could join us. I thought you got lost outside somewhere.” Meg says while dragging me to the living room.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Your grandmother and mom were fighting. It was a little awkward.” Oh that’s great, just what we need.
“What about?”
“You. Grammy is hella pissed at you know who.” I let out a loud breath. I really should have waited to tell her.
“Gracie, get your tanned hide in here!” Hearing the firm tone of my grandmother’s voice, Meg and I look at each other. I don’t see Carter in the room with us, assuming he’s already met Grammy. I take a deep breath and approach everyone in the dining room, Meg behind me. Carter is in conversation with my grandmother, Mason and my parents. Tyler looks bored, sitting by himself. Carter looks up and smiles when he sees me, reaching his hand out for me to take. He pushes his chair out, allowing me to sit in his lap comfortably.
“What are y’all talking about?” I ask.
“I’m just asking questions, getting to know this gem.” Grammy smiles as I look from her to Carter.
“Gem?”
“Yes, he is actually passing my test so far. I think you got a good one here sweetie. Don’t let him go.” I smile, kissing Carter’s nose, wrapping my arms around his neck, his arms find my waist.
“Never.” I say in response.
“Stop it mother. We don’t know what’s going to happen when the baby comes. This could just be a temporary thing.” Once it’s out of her mouth she gasps, hands fly to her mouth in shock by her own words. I on the other hand am pissed, and embarrassed. The room is dead silent, eyes on my mother.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what possessed me to say that.”
“It’s okay Mary.” Carter says. I interrupt him, infuriated.
“No, it’s not okay. That was impolite and accusatory and we deserve a little more respect than that.”
“It’s fine, she’s entitled to her feelings. I know it’s hard to believe a guy like me would stick around under such circumstances. I don’t have all the answers and the future is unclear for us all. But I can tell you one thing for sure, I love your daughter. I’m in love with her. And I’m not going anywhere.” I stare at each smiling face in the room, including my mom who looks guilty and ashamed. Good, she should. She was wrong about him.
‘I told you mom. Quit doubting him.” I kiss him on the cheek.
“I’m sorry Carter. You have been a wonderful addition in my daughter’s life. I’m just being a mother, overprotective since the last time I wasn’t protective enough and look what happened. So I apologize for assuming things.”
“It’s no problem. It’s your job to scare off all the guys, to protect your daughter from getting hurt. Now, I will gladly take over. I’ll never let anything happen to her.”
“I know you wouldn’t Carter and I appreciate your loving her enough to look after her.”
The rest of the night went well. We had dessert-homemade apple pie, courtesy of my mother which was delicious. Along with pumpkin and cherry pie. I was so stuffed; I thought I was going to explode. It was a miracle my stomach held it all down. My Grammy led us all in Thanks before we inhaled our sweets.
“Thank you, Lord for this wonderful evening with such wonderful people. I am so thankful for my family, even though the usual crew couldn’t be here this year. I hope they are having a blessed Thanksgiving too. It seems a new addition has been added to the Jordan clan and I ask that you watch over my favorite granddaughter during this stressful time. Also thanks for sending us Carter, he’s a real hottie and totally sweet.” I glanced at Carter who was lost in prayer. I closed my own eyes, smiling. “I like him. Well, thanks for the food and my family and all you are Lord. Amen.” We all noisily dove right into the tasty treats.
Once we finished eating, we played card games at the dinner table after we cleared the dishes. It was another favorite tradition during the holidays, playing Phase 10 and Uno. It was my favorite part about the holidays when my family came into town and we all sat around the dining room table for hours, engrossed in conversation and games. I smile, watching the amazing people I’m surrounded by.
“How are you doing baby girl?” My father asks me quietly.
“I’m really great daddy.” He takes my hand and squeezes, a smile lighting up his eyes.
“I’m glad you met Carter. He’s wonderful.” I nod, watching him interacting with Meg and Mason. He’s sitting on the couch, his right leg resting over his left knee with his hands in his lap. He laughs at something Mason says and his hair falls over his eyes. It makes him look mysterious and sexy, the way his eye peeks out from his dark strands. My heart feels happy, while thinking to myself this night couldn’t get any better, the doorbell rings. I rise from my sitting position in the stool at the island. As soon as I open the door, all the blood drains from my face.
Chapter 29
So as I was saying, this night couldn’t get any better and that’s because it just got worse. I’m frozen, confused and most importantly pissed off.
“Gracie, you look great.” I cross my arms over my chest, unable to speak but my facial expressions says it all. He’s not welcomed here, and certainly not now.
“I know you don’t want to see me but I came by to wish your family a happy Thanksgiving.” I laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of the situation. How could he expect my family to even care what he has to say after what he did?
I push him all the way outside so I can shut the door before anyone sees us and shit hits the fan. “What are you doing here Nick?”
“I just told you.”
I shake my head, cutting him off mid-sentence. “Cut the bull shit. Why are you here? Are you trying to ruin my night?” He looks apologetic which infuriates me more.
“How many months are you now?” Is he really asking about the baby as if he cared? I am getting sick of the head games.
“Five.” I’m leaning against the brick by the front door, tapping my foot annoyingly.
“So have you found out the sex yet?”
“I go next month. Why is it your concern? Are you suddenly trying to play daddy now?” I know I am probably being unfair and hurtful, but at this point, I’m too pissed to care. He’s interrupting my family time on my holiday.
“I’d like to go with you.” My mouth drops open but nothing comes out. I can’t form words or coherent thoughts without sounding stupid. Why the change of heart now? It doesn’t make sense. Isn’t it too late for that?
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No Gracie I’m not. I’ve thought about it since we’ve been apart. I know I acted like a selfish prick and you didn’t deserve that.” He’s talking like we were just on a break and that he’s finally made a decision to take me back. Or that he wants me to take him back. I don’t know what to say or think. Holy crap, this was not supposed to happen. “I’m so sorry. But I realize life without you is no life at all.” Tears stream down my face and I can’t tell if it’s from frustration or confusion. “Come with me to USC.” My eyes bulge out of their sockets, so many emotions, questions and thoughts race through my head at once. And I can’t pick them out to analyze any of them.
“I can’t.” I choke out. I would have been happy to hear him say that months ago, on that same night I told him of my pregnancy. And I would have happily obliged. But now, things are different. My stomach clenches, as I stumble to sit in the chair on my porch. I hang my head in my hands, shaking. What is going on? Why now? What do I do? Dammit, it’s not like I can find the answers in my pregnancy book. He didn’t want me, or this baby. Now that I’ve moved on he expects me to just pick up where we left off? What about Carter? I love him, don’t I? I couldn’t do that to him. Shit, was my mother right about my feelings for him? No, I can’t think like that. I do love him. He was there for me and it isn’t even his baby. Maybe bringing him into this mess was a mistake, but now I’ve fallen for him and I won’t hurt him.
“I can’t
Nick.” He reaches for my hand and I yank it away.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Gracie, please. I’m asking for another chance.” I lift my head up and glare at him, icily.
“Another chance? Do you know the hell you put me through? No, forget about me. Do you know the hell you put my family through? I was a wreck Nick, a fucking wreck. And they helped me pick up the pieces of myself that you broke, including my heart. I would be a fool to give you another chance.” He glances at the door as if he sensed someone coming.
My mind is in a frenzy. All I want to do is go back inside and have an enjoyable night, forgetting he ever showed up and messed with my head. But instead I sit here, trying to make sense of this. I come up short, not sure of my next step.
“I met someone.” It comes out in a whisper but Nick still hears me.
“Are you serious? You moved on just like that?”
“What was I supposed to do? Wait for you to change your mind? Live the rest of my life alone? I didn’t want it to happen. It just did.” He crosses his arms over his chest.
“Right it just happened. Kind of like how the pregnancy just happened.” I rise from the chair and shove him hard, he stumbles off the porch.
“How dare you. Get the hell out of here.” But he doesn’t budge. Just then the door swings open and Nick and I both turn to look at Meg in the doorway. A confused look flashes across her face as she looks from me to Nick.
“What’s going on out here?” She asks cautiously. I glance at Nick.
“Nothing, he was just leaving.” His pose is defiant.
“Good because I was sent out here to find you.”
“I’m not leaving. Not until we talk Gracie.”
“We’ve talked enough, I’m done here.” He grabs my arm but I shove him again.
“No, wait Gracie.” I march back inside, Meg is on my feet. She whispers to my back, “What the fuck is he doing here?” I whirl around to face her.
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask him to come and ruin my night.” The doorbell rings, with a very upset Nick on the other side of the door yelling for me.