Overlord Brawl: Book 1 of the Neon Octopus Ally Series

by L. A. Johnson

  The robot was a predictable generic silver color and had a square jaw and red eyes with black pupils. She had to admit it was a cool looking robot. Maybe Froggy was a better student than she gave him credit for.

  "What the hell, Froggy?" she asked. "What's the point of having a thirty-foot robot grab me if I'm immortal? I mean, what's your end game here?" Soda looked down. The crowds of people at the robot's feet seemed to be of two different opinions. Some of them were running away screaming and others were pushing closer to get pictures. Only in Arcturis, she thought. Or Vega. In fact, this was an odd little galaxy.

  Froggy's face appeared through the hole in the concrete ceiling that the robot had punched through. "That's the point. You're immortal. I can't kill you. But I can have my robot take you far away so that I can focus on the other Overlords."

  Crap thought Soda. That's a pretty good plan. She couldn't die, but the robot had a good grip on her.

  "And just in case you had any crazy ideas about trying to break free to come back and stop me-" Froggy's voice trailed off as the gun in his hand and Drexyl's head came into view. "Try anything, and your pretty boy here gets it." He laughed. "I'd hate to have to mess up this face."

  "Sorry, Soda," he mouthed.

  Soda could feel her tentacles curl in rage. The robot hand grasped her even tighter and she could feel the pulse of her own heartbeat all the way to the end of her tentacles. Froggy was laughing at her. A real, authentic, villain laugh. The full force of her tactics in the last year or so hit her square in the face. She had overlooked all her competition. Maybe it was a character flaw. How could she have not figured it out sooner? First, she underestimated Ari, then her idiot intern Floyd who had caused her no end of trouble and now Froggy. It seemed that she had gotten complacent and had not taken any of her opponents seriously and that it had come back to bite her in the ass. She resolved right then and there to learn her lesson. How in stars name had it taken so long to figure out?

  It was oh so clear now. What was also crystal clear was her next move. "Hey Froggy, there's something about me that you forgot."

  "What's that?" he asked.

  Soda didn't answer, though. She concentrated. She used the tentacles that were not currently being crushed by the robot's giant hand to form a sort of antenna. Even though she was intensely concentrating, she could still hear Froggy's voice in the background of her mind. It was distracting, but she concentrated anyway.

  "Is she having a stroke?" Froggy asked, presumably talking to Drexyl. "Is she pouting? Have you ever seen her do that weird silent thing with her tentacles going all wonky? Answer me, you stupid hair product model."

  "Hey," Drexyl said. "I only did that one summer. I really needed the money. And how did you know that?"

  There was the sound of a weapon cocking and then Froggy's unhinged, ragey voice. "Idiot. I meant, answer me about whatever the hell it is that Soda is currently doing. That weird thing. What does it mean? Is she playing dead?"

  "Well, I've only seen her do that particular thing a couple of times," Drexyl said. He must have been smirking at this point, because Froggy started screaming so that he could be heard in all the corners of Soda's mind even though she had been trying to tune him out. Then she smiled. And disappeared from the robot's hand. Froggy shrieked. "Where did she go?"

  "What it means," Drexyl said, "is that you're in really big trouble."

  Soda rematerialized right in front of Froggy full sized, in the flesh, and loaded for bear. "There's a flaw in your plan," she said. She grabbed the gun that was aimed at Drexyl's head before he could even react. His henchmen, the few that were left after Soda dispatched half a dozen and the roof caved in, turned their weapons on Soda.

  Quick as a flash, Soda latched onto Froggy with all her tentacles and squirmed so that her head was behind Froggy's torso and out of the line of fire. She also had him wrapped up so that he couldn't move. Drexyl darted behind Froggy as well.

  Froggy couldn't move, but he could still speak. "Hold your fire, morons," he screamed.

  "I guess you didn't know that I could teleport. I mean, come on. That's just lazy research. Everybody knows I can teleport. I did it on Galactic television during the Chemical Zombies festival show. You dropped the ball, Froggy. I'll admit that you were close on this one. It wasn't a bad plan. But you're a loser all the same."

  The tentacles that were wrapped around Froggy's neck began to squeeze. The weapons aimed at him got twitchier as his face turned red and then purple.

  "What do we do, boss?" they asked. Tension filled the room.

  Soda could feel Froggy's pulse get weak. His hand went into his pocket and grabbed something. She continued to squeeze while she whispered in his ear, "Whatever you're doing, you're too late."

  "We can't just let him die," one of the henchmen said, "we have to shoot something." The weapons re-pointed. A squeaking noise came from Froggy's mouth, but Soda wouldn't let go.

  "He said fire. I think he's trying to say fire. We should fire, right?" The henchman waited to see if the others would back him up.

  "Had to be," some of the others chimed in.

  "Oh, good god," Drexyl said. "Fire or don't fire. Would you make up your minds already?"

  "Okay, that does it," the leader said. "We fire in three, two, one-"

  There was a flash explosion in the room between Soda and Froggy and the henchmen who had finally made up their minds. When the initial explosion cleared, there in the center of the room was Ray.

  Soda looked up at him in surprise but before she could even think of anything snarky to say, a blast of light hit both she and Froggy. It knocked them both against a back wall and dislodged Soda from the greasy uber-villain. Froggy began to choke and wheeze and breath again.

  "What the hell are you doing, Ray?" Soda asked.

  "The Master Oracle!" the henchmen said. "He came to help us."

  "At your service," Ray said. "Oh, by the way, just a heads up, I'll be sending you people a very large bill for this." Ray looked around. "What happened to the wall over here?"

  A large robot hand appeared through the hole in the wall. This time it grabbed Froggy. "We'll call this a draw, Soda. But don't worry, I'll be back."

  "You won't get away so easy next time, you greasy maniac," Soda yelled at him. "The next time I see you, one of us is going to die. Spoiler alert, it'll be you."

  The robot stomped off. Soda turned to glare at the henchmen, who looked at each other nervously and then beat a hasty retreat out of the room, leaving only Soda, Drexyl, and Ray.

  Soda then turned her rage to Ray. "What is the matter with you? I ought to wrap my tentacles around you and squeeze. What are you playing at?"

  Ray shook his head. "Sorry, not sorry. I know that we're opponents and all, but something very bad is coming."

  "So?"

  "And Froggy can't die yet."

  "Why not?" Soda demanded, crossing the room and getting close enough to Ray that he took a couple of steps back.

  "Look," he said, his hands going up in a defensive posture. "You think I want to be here to keep you from killing the competition? Do you really think I don't want to win? Why in the name of every black hole do you think that I helped you tonight in the first place? After all, I'm the one who gave you the heads up about this ambush."

  Soda thought about that. "Oh yeah. You're right, that doesn't make any kind of sense. Fine, I am curious. Why did you help me?"

  Ray stopped for a moment and looked at the destruction and rubble around him, then he went to the hole in the wall and looked down. Then he wobbled. "What happened here? Aren't you worried about the cops? Why aren't you leaving right now?"

  Soda looked at Drexyl and then scratched her head with a tentacle before looking back at Ray. "We're under Anti-Parliamentary rules now, Ray. Because of the Overlord competition. The competition that you're currently a contestant in. You were at the ceremony yesterday, how could you not know that? Are you on something, Ray? As you would know, if you were paying attenti
on, Anti-Parliamentary means no cops and no interference. To answer your question, no matter what happens, we don't have to go anywhere or run from anyone except each other."

  "No!" Ray said. He looked genuinely surprised. "Anti-parliamentary? That's bad. Very bad."

  Soda figured that whatever had him so distracted couldn't possibly be good.

  "There's a lot going on, Ray. Don't you ever watch the news?" Drexyl asked.

  "Hold on, Drexyl," Soda said, then she crossed to Ray. "Listen, Ray. You look distracted and deeply uninformed about current events. But I'm going to ask you two questions and I want you to focus." She twirled a tentacle inches from his face. "The first question, which you raised by the way, is why did you help me earlier tonight by giving me the heads up on Froggy's little raid? And the second question is why do you think the Anti-Parliamentary rules are bad? But I want the questions answered in order. Okay, go."

  Ray sent another blast of light at Soda. This time it didn't knock her against the wall, it just moved her a couple of feet backward. "Don't threaten me, you slimy cephalopod."

  Soda gathered her strength for a counterattack. If this idiot shaman wanted to get physical, then that's what he was going to get.

  Drexyl stepped in between them. "Look, Ray. You're the one who contacted Soda, and you're the one who showed up here unannounced and interfering. All Soda did was ask a couple of questions. You're supposed to be the knowledgeable, level headed one. And you're the Oracle, man. You're the one who is supposed to know what the hell is going on."

  Ray and Soda glared at each other for another minute.

  "Yes. I'm an Oracle. And as such, I'm bound by a bunch of stupid Oracle rules that you guys don't have to abide by and that's not really fair."

  "There's no crying in an Overlord contest," Soda said, crossing her tentacles.

  Ray took a step toward her again and again Drexyl stepped in between.

  "That's what I'm trying to tell you," Ray said. "I had to help you. I had to help Froggy. The second this Overlord contest started, the future telling dice that I have freaked out. Something really, really bad is coming right at this galaxy."

  "What's the matter with the galaxy?" Drexyl asked.

  "I don't know!" Ray shouted.

  "What do you mean you don't know?" Soda asked. "You're the one raving about it."

  "That's the thing. The dice are being extremely vague about the danger, but very, very, stupidly specific about what's necessary to stave off disaster."

  "Like saving me and Froggy," Soda said. "You had to save us because of a weird, creepy new prophecy? You're right, that doesn't sound fair. Sucks to be you."

  "Indeed," He said. "Sucks to be me. And to answer your second question about why Anti-Parliamentary is bad, I need the Acrturis P.D. and Galactic Force to be on their toes because, as I clearly stated, I don't know what's coming."

  "Let me get this straight," Soda said. "You're still in this Overlord competition, only you're too busy vaguebooking some sort of coming plague to know what's going on and you're legally required by Oracle honor to jump in here and there to do the bidding of your magic dice even if it helps your opponents and sets you back?"

  "I hate her," Ray said to Drexyl while pointing at Soda.

  "Trust me, the feeling's mutual. Well, good luck with that," Soda said, grabbing Drexyl. "We've got galactic domination to plot."

  Then she turned back to Ray and pointed a tentacle at him. "See you later, slave to the dice. Oh, by the way, if you jump in again to save me, great. If you jump in again to keep me from executing my plan, then the one I'll be executing is you." The pointed tentacle mimed an explanation point at the end of her sentence.

  Then she re-joined Drexyl on the way out of the rubble filled room, down the hallway, and onto the elevator. "Drexyl? Did you see what I did there? With the pun on the word execution? How fun was that? What time is it? Do you think my favorite coffee shop is still open?"

  36

  "Okay," Soda said when she and Drexyl had sat down at the coffee shop and taken a moment to reflect, "that didn't exactly go as planned."

  Drexyl leaned forward. "That was crazy. And there's no way he's going anywhere after almost winning tonight. Froggy's going to be a problem."

  "Oh, you don't have to whisper. This place is an ally business."

  "An ally to who?" Drexyl asked.

  "To me," Soda replied.

  "Cool. You got a coffee shop on your side? That's pretty good work considering you haven't been here that long."

  Soda laughed and sat back and looked at Drexyl. "You're adorable. It's a front."

  Drexyl's expression fell. "It's not really a coffee shop?"

  "The coffee shop's the front," the barista said to him, materializing seemingly out of nowhere. "He's cute, where'd you find him?"

  "Back off, Callie. He's mine," Soda replied.

  Callie laughed and held up her hands. "Okay, okay. A girl's gotta check."

  "Oh yeah," Soda said to Drexyl. "Watch out she's a telepath. A real one, not a fake like Ray."

  "I don't think Ray's a fake. I just think his powers work differently than we want or expect them to," Drexyl said.

  Callie filled up Drexyl and Soda's coffee mugs and then sat down at the table with them.

  Drexyl took a sip. "You know, for a front, the coffee's actually pretty good."

  "Thanks," Callie said and smiled. "There are all kinds of disconnected weirdness going through the minds of you two. Spill. What went down tonight?"

  "Well." Soda decided to address Drexyl first. "You see, Callie was here earlier when a fake reporter came in here and tricked me into giving her the name of the hotel I was staying at. Pretended that she was a political entertainment reporter working on that sort of angle. Callie here clued me in that the reporter was working for Froggy."

  "Oh!" Drexyl said. "That's how you knew it was a setup."

  "No," Soda continued. "Earlier, Ray messaged me and told me that Froggy was going to attack at exactly five thirty-eight p.m. at the hotel."

  "Oh yeah," Drexyl said. "You have to admit, that was really helpful and specific information from Ray. That explains why you were surprised when he showed up out of nowhere abracadabra style and stopped you from killing Froggy."

  "You didn't kill Froggy?" Callie jumped into the conversation.

  "Nope," Soda answered. "I didn't kill him. In fact, he's probably somewhere nearby playing with his thirty-foot robot."

  Callie looked at Drexyl. "What is she talking about? Is that a metaphor?"

  Soda laughed. "You'd think so, but no. It was a bold move, having that robot grab me and walk off with me. You know what, it would have worked too, if he wasn't the only one in this galaxy that forgot about the fact that I can teleport."

  Callie's eyes got wide. "You can teleport?"

  "Okay," Soda said. "There are two of you that didn't know."

  "Well, I am busy running my own crime organization over here," Callie shot back. "Who has time for entertainment news anymore?"

  "Touché," Soda answered.

  "Wait," said Drexyl, slurping his coffee and then putting the cup down. "You're going to probably get your job back as Overlord and then, what, you throw extra crime and business Callie's way?"

  Callie nodded at him.

  "And you provide, what? Coffee and snacks?" Drexyl asked. "Not that I'm downplaying coffee and snacks."

  Callie snapped her fingers. Every other patron in the coffee shop, over a dozen in all, now loomed over him ominously. "Okay, boys. You can sit back down now."

  "I didn't mean it that way. It was just a question," Drexyl said.

  "It's fine," Callie said. "I provide muscle, weapons, local connections, cash."

  "And telepathy, right?" Drexyl asked excitedly. "What number am I thinking right now?"

  "I'm not going to help you gamble," Callie told him.

  "Wow," Drexyl said, "you're right, Soda, she's good."

  "Hey, Callie," one of her guys said. He was in the corne
r looking at the television. "You've got to see this, it's so weird."

  "We're kind of in the middle of something," Callie said.

  "No, really," he said. "I'm telling you, this news story is freaky weird, even by Vega standards."

  Drexyl got up. "I'm sorry, did you say Vega? I just left Vega. What is it? What's going on?"

  "Vega?" Soda asked. The city was ringing a bell for her. Ari was in Vega. And Ari had left some messages on her cell phone. She checked. Three voicemail messages. Why the heck would Ari be calling me? "Hey, Drexyl, isn't Ari in Vega? She keeps calling and leaving messages."

  "Yeah," Drexyl answered. He crossed the room to where the television was. "She sort of kicked me out, remember? She looked fine when I left her." He checked his phone. "She hasn't called me. What are the voicemail messages about?"

  Soda got up and followed him. "I have no idea, I didn't listen to them, I've been busy. All kinds of things happen in Vega, but it doesn't usually make galactic headlines here in Arcturis."

  "Turn the sound up," Drexyl said.

  The news channel seemed to be playing a loop of a video clip that had aired on Vega television not long ago. In it, Happy Havennah, Vega's mayor, could be seen running to a microphone outside of Vega city hall. There were multiple news crews already there. The minute he came out of the building, reporters started shouting questions at him, all at the same time. It made it hard to hear what they were asking, but the panic in their voices was unmistakable. Happy held out his hands for them to quiet down. "Look," he said, shaking his head, "I don't have all of the answers right now, but if reports and video footage that I've seen are true, then we are in big trouble-"

  That's when there was a sudden and severe edit in the video clip. The image switched to a street view in front of Regal Casino on the strip. It showed people walking by, presumably normally, except that none of the people walking by were mugging for or even looking at the camera. Which was the most un-Vega thing Soda had ever seen.