"Ok," said Fleek, looking down at his watch. "But it’s almost time to go."
He watched the irritated expression wash across her face. Then he heard the explosion. Then he felt the rubble flying through the air and ducked behind the desk.
Her expression had changed from irritated to surprised to afraid, but none of that mattered now. What mattered was that there was a giant hole in the ceiling which had taken a glancing blow from a missile.
Fleek crawled out through the hole into the sunlight.
43
A short time later, the group of Soda, Ray, Floyd, Froggy, Kirian, Kruxx, and Ari sat in the Crown conference room at the Galactic Ambassador Hotel and Conference center, the nicest place in Arcturis.
The walls and the floor were made from a crystal blue, hand-carved marble. It gave the room a soothing, sea-like feel. The giant desk was ancient oak inlaid with gold trim which matched the chairs. The chandelier above them had its own waterfall that went cascading in a delicate, beautiful stream. The water goblets in front of them were made from a very rare mineral and all of them had a separate constellation hand-carved into it.
Kruxx looked around, lifted his goblet, and took a sip. "This is the best you guys can do? Eh."
"Nice," said Soda. "You say you're some sort of ambassador? Because I was Overlord for quite a while and I met a bunch of ambassadors and they were pompous asses, but not rude idiots."
"Tomato, tomato," Kruxx said, waving a hand. "Those people were here to kiss your ass, not destroy the place. Invasion Coordinator is a much different position than regular ambassador. Way more fun, way more violence, way more victory. Speaking of Overlords though, this is it, right? The candidates are all in this room? Plus one?" He stared at Kirian. "I don't do plus ones. Have the warrior escorted out of here immediately. These are negotiations. The fight's already over."
Soda and the other Overlord candidates looked at each other uncomfortably and shifted in their chairs. Again, it was Soda who spoke. "Nah, we'd rather have her here."
"That confirms my other suspicion," Kruxx said, leaning forward, "that all of these other people are here, but I'm really talking to you."
"Plus two," Kirian interrupted. "I want to hear from Ari. I don't know what you've done to her, but you'd better let her in on this conversation or you haven't yet seen a fight."
"Feisty," Kruxx answered. "I like that. I'm pretty sure you won't survive today, weird warrior lady with the sparkly hair, but you've got more balls than most of the people I come across. Of course, the cowering people that I'm used to dealing with are still alive. But the fact of the matter is, since you guys are between Overlords, I am legally required to deal with all of you together. For negotiation purposes, you guys count as a single unit. I'll tell you what, I'll wander around a little, get a feel for running this place, and give you guys a few minutes to chat. And don't worry about the guards, they only listen to me."
He got up, stretched, and then motioned to one of the giant blue chess pieces that had accompanied him into the room. The chess piece produced a book from somewhere in its pants pocket and handed it to Kruxx, who threw it on the conference table.
Soda glanced at it. It said: ‘Handbook for the Newly Conquered’.
"Here's some reading material. It never hurts to be prepared," he said. He crossed the room, opened the door, and snapped his fingers on his way out. As soon as he snapped his fingers, Ari was able to speak again.
44
"Ari, what did he do to you?" Kirian asked.
"I don't know, exactly," Ari answered. "But he took over Vega. And he shot Harry and Carpe," she said, tearing up. “They tried to stop him in Vega. They threw all of Regal's arsenal at them and it didn't matter."
Froggy chimed in, "Sure, he has a few of these giant chess pieces, but we outnumber them. Maybe we could figure out a way to take them out?"
Ray got up and crossed to the window that overlooked the courtyard. "Not anymore, look."
Soda and the rest of them got up to look outside. Dozens of the giant chess pieces now milled in the square. They watched from the window for a few minutes.
"How are the residents doing?" Ari asked. Then she turned to the corner of the room. "Quick, turn on that television! Let's see what the local news says."
As soon as the television sprang to life, a visibly angry news anchor team was busy answering questions texted in from the public. "No, we are not sure what is going on in Arcturis Square at this time," the woman anchor said. She glanced back at the texted questions and frowned. "Bring up the outgoing news feed, Jake." She looked off to the left and her lips moved slightly like she was reading. When she turned back to the camera, if possible, she was even angrier. "No," she told the camera, "that crawl under our newsfeed is NOT coming from us. We've obviously been hacked."
Up until now, Soda had been looking and listening to the news lady and ignoring the crawl.
Good citizens of Arcturis. Forget what these people are saying. If you want to know what's going on read this. Yes, you've been invaded. Yes, you read that right. No, you can't get un -invaded, so stop asking. How bad is it going to get? Hard to say, depends on your Overlord A-team which I'm currently negotiating with. It could be galaxy-wide annihilation or a simple transfer of power or anything in between. How long does the process take? A few hours, tops. What if we just evacuate? You ask. Well, you can, but it's a waste of money and energy. You can't run or hide at this point. The galaxy is sealed, and your fate is in the balance. And just to make things easier I'll answer a question you people didn't ask but should have. If I were you, I'd kick back with a cold one, treat myself to an end of the world shopping spree and stay tuned to all these stations for further information.
"He hacked the newscast. Bastard," Soda said. She crossed the room to a phone and picked it up. "Eduardo? It's me. The usual, please. No, not that usual, the idiot ambassador lunch. Yes, with the pickles. And send in some for everybody. This is going to take some time to sort out."
"I'm sorry, did you just order food?" Ray asked. "At a time like this?"
"I don't negotiate on an empty stomach," Soda answered. "Look, in order to figure this out, we're all going to have to be on our toes." Something was nagging at her, like she had forgotten something. "Drexyl!"
A second later she was dialing his number. "Drexyl, are you okay? Uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay. That's true. Alright. Hey, I'm glad you're okay." She hung up. "He's fine. He followed us here, but he was sneaky about it. Said we should have somebody on the outside, just in case. He's following this Kruxx around right now and will give us updates. Plus, he read the crawl so there was nothing to fill him in on since we don't know anything."
Ari picked up the book. "Handbook for the Newly Conquered. I don't know who this guy is, but he's been a nightmare so far." She flipped through the book.
"Look," Soda said, "you came in with this guy and you were there in Vega. You're telling me that you still have no idea who he is or what he wants?"
"I don't."
"You said he had no problem taking over Vega?" Ray asked Ari.
"None."
"Then why bring you here? He already had Vega, and you're not even an Overlord Candidate," Ray continued.
"Yeah," said Soda, "he didn't seem particularly happy about a plus-one, so why bring a plus-two?"
"Great question!" Kruxx had quietly slipped back into the room when they weren't looking.
Irritated, Soda looked down at her phone just as a message chimed in from Drexyl telling her that he was coming back. Thanks a lot.
Kruxx took his seat, crossed his arms, and put his feet, complete with dirty boots, up on the oak table. "You know what my favorite part of this job is?"
"Being an insufferable ass?" Soda asked.
"Well, that's a matter of opinion. And no, I don't bother being overly nice to the conquered anymore. It's a waste of time. Because people, all of them, resist change. I am an agent of the change that people hoped would never come. You think that any of the rul
ers that I've ever sat across from have felt differently than you? Of course not, they want to fight for the past, for the status quo. To the death and all of that. And what's it all for, anyway? What's to say that the future, while different, is any worse than what you guys had going on here today?" He made a judgy face. "Because what I saw out there was a bunch of ruler candidates brawling in a town square."
"Hey!" Soda jumped in. "In many galaxies, the people are forced to fight for the entertainment of the rulers. Here in Arcturis, our ruler candidates are fighting for the entertainment of the people. We fight to earn their trust and show our power, in full view of the people and the press. We are a forward-thinking galaxy. And we certainly do not deserve the hassle that you're giving us right now."
Kruxx shrugged. "Maybe so. But the fact of that matter is, I can do this transfer of power thing even better. You guys are the ruler candidates. And you can still be key players in our system. You can keep most of your power and wealth and influence. In conclusion, I'm here to help convince you that change doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. And Ari's here to help."
Ari did a double take. "What? I'm not going to help you."
"Sure you are," he said. "To answer my first question, my favorite part of the job is the demand. We demand a tribute. A token really, from the conquered. That is what I'm here to negotiate. Which is the wrong term, really, because we want one thing and one thing only. Give it to us and you all live, refuse and your entire galaxy will die."
"What's this thing?" Soda asked.
"That's the best part," Kruxx said. He stood and started pacing, like a manic corporate executive trying to sell the board on a new product. "The surprise. This tribute that we demand. It's never, ever what you'd expect. I know that right now you people are worried about your money, or your precious metals, or your major imports, or whatever. I never know myself until right before the negotiation starts. Usually. But not in this case. In this case, I knew before we ever got to Vega, but that was unusual. In fact, I'm curious." He handed out small pieces of paper to everybody. "I want you to list the top three things that you think I'm going to demand. I want you to guess."
Soda watched as he sat back down and waited impatiently for them to fill out the papers. Then he collected them and pulled them out one by one. "Galactic credits. No, thanks for playing. Palladium? Don't make me laugh." He laughed anyway. Then he looked at the other papers. One of them made his expression turn serious. "Fractals? Who even put that as an answer?"
Nobody owned up to it.
"Why would we need useless, substance abusing, kiddie art? I mean, I'm as nice an Invasion Coordinator as you're going to get, but don't go pushing my buttons, okay? If I so much as hear the word Fractal again, I'll kill everyone in this room on sheer principle."
Soda and the others exchanged worried glances. Was this guy coming unglued or what? "Well make up your mind, are you here to kill us or negotiate with us? Oh, for heaven's sake, stop screwing around and just spit it out," Soda said. "What. Do. You. Want? Stop wasting time and tell us what you want, so we can tell you no and you can go home with your tail between your legs. Why does it feel like you're stalling?"
Kruxx smiled a vicious smile. "Look. I'm only talking to you people as a courtesy. Not all of you Overlord candidates have to be included as future rulers. In fact, none of you do. You can be killed right along with the rest of the galaxy. In fact, you can be killed first. So, consider your answer very, very carefully. I know that you've seen my forces filling up the courtyard outside," he said, pointing to the open gold curtain. "There are more than enough of them to ensure that none of you survive."
He leaned forward and pounded a hand on the desk for emphasis. "And that, my friends, is just the first wave. I know what you're thinking. Let's say, for the sake of argument, that you guys tell me: no, we won't give in to your demands, Kruxx, we'd rather the whole galaxy go up in flames. And you're thinking that your galaxy won't die, that you'll fight me and my entire force and win. And let's say for arguments sake, even though it's laughable, that you can defeat my invasion force. Which has never happened by the way. It's impossible, it can't be done. But even if you do, the second wave is not far behind. And it is monstrous compared to this invasion force. And if I die? If for some reason I do not quickly return to base or my life ends, then the second wave is sent immediately. You'll be up to your eyeballs in fire and death. So even though officially this is called a negotiation, you really don't have a choice. And like I said, change isn't always bad. Okay. Are you people ready to begin?"
Ari, who had been frantically looking something up on her phone, finally looked up. She opened her mouth to say something.
"Oh, good of you to finally start paying attention," Kruxx said to her. "But now it's time for you to go back into your little force field time out." He held out his hand to snap his fingers, but he never got to do it because she blurted something out.
"I'm officially applying for the position of Overlord," Ari said before he could snap his fingers.
45
Ari's announcement about applying for Overlord got everybody's attention.
"What?" Soda asked. "The field is already kind of crowded, Ari. And with the current unresolved invasion situation, it might not even matter."
"I believe it means that I get a say in the matter from now on," Ari said. "No more silent force field. Am I right?"
Kruxx scowled. "I'm pretty sure that the deadline to apply for Overlord has passed."
"Wrong," Ari said with a sneer. "It says on the official Arcturis website that as long as all of the current candidates are in the room to officially hear the verbal application, then the deadline isn't for another three hours. I've just looked up all the bylaws, you see. And I'm quite certain I'm correct."
"Seconded," Soda said. Everybody turned to look at her. "Hey, I'm for anything that pisses him off. Besides, doesn't it make any of you guys wonder why he's not worried about us, but he's so worried about her that he took her with him and put her under some sort of voodoo spell? Because I'm wondering. What's the deal, blond voodoo man? And what the hell kind of name is Kruxx, anyway?"
"It's a good name. Good enough for way better galaxies than yours. And fine, you guys want to know what the deal is with Ari? I'll tell you, but it'll spoil the surprise. Serves you right." He cleared his voice and stood up. "The tribute that we demand to prove the loyalty and fealty and surrender of this galaxy is: Ari." He swept a hand in her direction.
Ari passed out and slumped over.
"Say what now?" Soda asked. "You want her? For real? Judging by the voodoo silence spell, you do have an idea of how annoying she is."
Kruxx sat back down. "Yes, yes, but she's what they want, believe it or not."
"Is it because she's smart?" Soda asked.
"No idea," he answered, "I wouldn't have guessed by our interactions up to this point that she had an above average intelligence."
Soda glanced from Kruxx to Ari. She must have really passed out because if she were awake on any level, she would have verbally savaged Kruxx.
Soda pointed a tentacle at Kruxx. "Hey, what are you trying to pull here? You came here to call a meeting to ask us to give her to you? You BROUGHT her here. You've had her since Vega. Why didn't you just grab her and go and be done with it? Why the big production?"
He just shrugged. "It gets complicated. There are procedures for this sort of thing. Contracts, legalese, etc."
"What about all the I'll just kill you guys and be done with it threats, then?" Soda persisted.
"Well we could kill you all, but it would mean no end of paperwork and inquiries and such. I mean, it's been done before, it's just more of a pain in the ass. I'm not going to rule it out, though, because again, I have a perfect record and it's something that I'm quite proud of. That's why they sent me."
Ray jumped into the conversation. "What I hear you saying is that you got an extra heads up on the tribute and that they specifically sent their best guy- your words n
ot mine- on this one particular mission to this particular galaxy?"
The smile on Kruxx's face flickered for a moment. "I never said that."
"You sort of did," Soda added.
The door burst open and Eduardo came in with a bunch of food carts.
"Eduardo, darling, your timing is perfect," Soda said. "I'm famished, and our rude intergalactic guest here just won't shut up." She turned to Kruxx. "I wasn't sure what to order for you, so I went with spider steak, bloody."
"That'll work. I could eat," he replied.
Eduardo served the dishes that Soda had ordered. As they began to eat, Ari stirred and began to regain consciousness.
"Oh, hey, Ari. You should wake up. You're missing out on a delicious meal," Kruxx said, in between bites. "Your last meal in this galaxy, as it turns out, and it's a good one." He turned to face the other Overlord candidates and Kirian. "She doesn't belong in this galaxy anyway. I mean, you guys know that, right? She's not from here. And she's obviously super annoying. You guys got off really, easy tribute-wise if you ask me. Usually, it's a much tougher choice."
"Where is she from, then, exactly?" Soda asked.
Kruxx's arrogant smile flickered again. He looked angry at himself. "Not here, I can assure you that." He seemed to remember something and then his eyes twinkled, and the twisted smile played on his lips. "Oh yeah, I forgot the presentation." He smacked his own forehead playfully. "What is wrong with me today, of course you won't just give in to my demand, no matter how reasonable and trifling it is unless you've seen the presentation. Hold on, I've got it right here on my phone. I'll send it to the big screen. I hope you guys like it, I'm very proud of it. Took me hours and hours to make. Every Invasion Coordinator gets to make their own presentation."
Overlord Brawl: Book 1 of the Neon Octopus Ally Series Page 18