by Hager, Mandy
‘That’s what you need to focus on, Ashley. That, in the end, her love for you won out.’
It hurts too much to think this through. Can’t do it now. ‘Was Ray the sniper?’
Jeannie shakes her head. ‘No, he was arrested with the others up north. Anaru said the sniper had a Stateside accent. We think it was one of the WA’s Secret Service guys.’
‘Was anyone hurt up at the huts?’ Christ, there are so many threads to this.
‘No,’ she says. ‘Though the other operative managed to slip away amidst the chaos, despite Commander Hargraves running the raid.’
‘Surprise, surprise.’ I close my eyes again. The starburst of red and gold replays behind my lids. It’s over then. No more dramatics. Time to sleep.
I’m dimly aware of being transferred to a bed and wheeled through a maze, though I have no idea where I am. But I’m checked and cleaned, treated against infection from the dozens of small wounds and burns inflicted by the blast. Nothing’s broken, though. Nothing’s mashed inside. They tell me I’m lucky. Don’t understand that’s an obscene joke.
I wake again in daylight, in a ward at Wellington hospital. Mikey and Jiao sit one each side.
‘Ashy!’ Mikey leans over and smacks one of his spitty kisses on my head. ‘You missed pudding.’
Jiao laughs. ‘Actually, I saved you some, but it mysteriously disappeared overnight. Hey, Jeannie told us what happened. I’m really sorry about your mum.’
‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘How are your mum and dad?’
‘I told them!’ she says. ‘It burst out when we started talking last night. They thought you were my boyfriend!’
‘It’s not too late.’ Damn, smiling hurts.
She rolls her eyes. ‘The good news is they took it okay.’
‘Cunning!’ I say. ‘They’re hardly going to disown you when you’ve just saved their lives.’
‘You saved their lives, Ash. You. Like you saved Mikey’s. Like you saved mine and Trav’s. Imagine what would’ve happened if you hadn’t realised the vests were rigged.’
Mikey’s fiddling with the switches behind the bed. ‘When’re you coming home?’
I hurt like buggery, but what’s new? ‘Now,’ I say. ‘Help me to get out of here.’ I start to swing my legs off the bed before I realise I’m only wearing a flimsy hospital gown that’s more or less open at the back. Where are my clothes?
Jiao produces a small bag as if she reads my mind. ‘Here. Fresh clothes and a toothbrush.’ She makes a big show of turning her back.
‘But don’t you want to see my beat-up naked arse? Final chance to mend your evil ways?’
‘It’s an incredibly kind offer but I think I’ll pass. Besides, it’s scrawnier than mine — I’d just end up feeling jealous!’ She grins at me so openly I know that any awkwardness between us now is a thing of the past.
‘You know, you’re not too bad for a raging lesbo!’
She cups her hands under her tits and gives them a little bounce. ‘Get used to it, straight boy.’ I nearly bloody choke.
While she waits out in the corridor, I struggle to get dressed. I’m so damn stiff I can’t even pull my undies over my feet. Mikey steps up, dressing me with way more patience than I ever had with him. As he wrestles my arms in through my T-shirt sleeves he even croons, ‘Put up your army men.’ Bugger me. I used to say that to him when we were small.
After a bit of bureaucratic argy-bargy, and a promise that I’ll spend the next few days in bed, I’m finally allowed to leave. I regret it almost as soon as we step out the door. The buses have been cancelled yet again, and it’s a long, painful walk home. The city looks desolate as hell: windows broken or boarded up, and burnt-out buildings reduced to rubble. Dogs are fighting over the rubbish lying uncollected in the streets, and down at the waterfront there’s a crowd of people squabbling over whatever they can catch from the wharves. Suspicion and hostility have settled in the air like radioactive fallout. As deadly too.
Jiao’s parents, Mei and Gurien, greet us at the door of our apartment. The smell of cooking wafts from the kitchen, though god knows they can’t have much to work with. I like them straight away. Jiao orders me to bed as soon as I’ve eaten. No arguments from me. I need to think. Need to weigh up everything that happened up north. Of course I’m rapt they rescued Jiao’s parents, but the method makes me sick — dozens of innocent people killed to hide a bunch of fat cats’ crooked games. I refuse to take responsibility for it: I made a good-faith deal and they corrupted it, not me. How the hell can they sleep straight? There are people dying, losing homes and futures — and every move our so-called leaders make just puts us further in the shit.
It seems horribly clear to me now. While we’ve been fighting over scraps, bloody Chandler — and all his dodgy mates before him — looked the other way and let the WA and UPR snatch up all the country’s best pickings for themselves. It’s really true the WA are the puppet masters here. They call the shots. Which means that unless we show some real guts we’re screwed — we’re piggy-in-the-middle and they’re never going to let us catch the ball. Our PM’s sold us out, then sided with the biggest bully to take the other out. He doesn’t give a toss that all of us will lose. He and his mates will just keep right on lying till there’s nothing left — not even us. It isn’t right. It sure as hell ain’t fair. I’d thought this whole thing started with that torpedo in the Tasman, but now I see that it goes way, way back. I’ve had enough, fuck it. This has to stop.
I sneak out of bed and cross the hallway to my old bedroom, where Jiao now sleeps. Open the wardrobe and rifle through. I find the dragon kite tucked away under a box of junk. Carry it back to Dad’s room, slip on his dressing gown and nestle into bed.
I used to think this was the king of kites. Its angry, sharp-toothed face was terrifying when I was small. But now what strikes me is the intricate design. It’s painted with all kinds of brightly coloured patterns and symbols, all of which no doubt have separate meanings I know nothing about. That pretty much sums up this whole fucking world: we focus on the outward appearance of things — don’t bother with the history and significance beneath. It’s the same with language. And definitely the way we think about the people of the UPR. We only see the dragon’s gaping mouth.
I feel so bad — lazy, I guess. I should’ve looked beyond the spin and realised it’s the greed and cruelty of the UPR’s leaders that I hate, not the poor downtrodden bastards underneath. Still, I doubt Mum thought about all this when she gave me the kite. Unless it was some weird metaphor about herself? Deadly sharp teeth. Her urge to fly. Her hidden character. Probably not. More likely just a great gift for her kid. God damn. The worst thing is, like it or not — and I bloody well don’t — I’m grieving for her all over again. Hating her would have made it so much easier. But now? She saved my life. Not that I’d wish her back. The sight of Mikey in that doghouse is etched into my brain for life. Besides, the pain is more about the dream that’s died. The fantasy. The chance to ever put things right.
There’s a tentative knock at the door, and Lucinda’s face appears. ‘Mind if I come in? I promise I won’t stay long.’
‘No worries,’ I say. ‘I’m not sleepy, just stuffed.’
‘I’m not surprised,’ she says. She settles on the end of Dad’s bed. Looks around the room. Stares at the photo of him and Mum on the bedside table. Digs into her bag and produces a brick-like parcel. ‘Here. A little cheering-up present.’
I unwrap the paper and laugh. It’s a one-kilo block of tasty cheese. ‘How did you know?’
‘I remembered Shaun telling me how much you missed it.’
I’m already salivating. ‘It must’ve cost a bloody fortune.’
‘Money’s only money.’
My smile drops. ‘Unless you’ve got none.’
‘Actually, that’s one of the reasons I’m here.’ Her eyes keep returning to the photo. With a grunt I reach over and turn it towards the wall. She looks relieved. ‘I heard about your mum. It soun
ds like a nightmare.’
‘I want to go to the media.’ I didn’t know I was going to say this till it’s out. But it’s the truth. ‘Screw my deal with the cops — what happened at Niúni Farm was wrong. The WA can’t just kill innocent people and get away with it.’
‘Jesus, Ashley, let it rest, will you? If you do that you’ll be the next one on their hit list.’
‘Ironic, huh? You’re right, but I really don’t care any more. I guess it’s in my genes.’
‘I think you need to give this more consideration when you’ve had some rest. Don’t jump into anything. You’ll need to put it in perspective with the news I’ve brought.’
‘If this is more crap to heap on to the pile, kill me now.’
‘I’ve had a phone call from the lawyer who represents your friend Erich Surring.’
‘Erich! He was one hell of a cool guy. He lent us his car and gave us all this cash. I owe him heaps.’
‘That might well turn out to be the understatement of the year.’ I look at her blankly. ‘Apparently you made quite an impression. He contacted his lawyer and changed his will the day before he died.’ She’s grinning like she’s going to pop.
‘Don’t tell me — he’s left me his hippie car.’
‘True, that as well. But, he’s left you two houses. Even in times like this, one of them could be worth a fair old stack. It seems he was very impressed by you, and wanted to repay an old kindness of your grandfather’s too.’
I hear the old boy’s voice: If I’d ever had a son I’d want him to be just like you. My nose starts to burn. I press it hard to stop myself from blubbing, but it doesn’t work. ‘I’m sorry … jeez, this is insane … sorry, eh … it’s just the shock—’
Lucinda’s eyes are shiny too. ‘Don’t you dare apologise. You’ve just been through hell. You deserve a break.’
‘Can I do whatever I want with them? The houses, I mean.’
‘They’re yours. Mr Surring’s lawyer is adamant the will is legal and there’s no one to object. Anyway, rest now.’ Lucinda leans over and pecks my cheek. ‘We can talk it through when you feel stronger. There’s no hurry at all.’
I burrow down into the bed. ‘Thanks for the cheese.’
‘Don’t eat it all at once!’ She leaves me with a sexy wave of her fingers. ‘Enjoy.’
CHAPTER TWENTY- FOUR
WHILE I’M RECOVERING, I let our bastard PM gloat over the destruction of Muru. Of course he takes the credit, praises our police and army to the hilt. He crows over their efficiency as if he planned the whole bloody affair. No mention of the WA’s involvement — just oozes self-congratulation on a job well done. But by the fifth day of my enforced bed rest I revolt. There’s been way too much time to think: if I don’t act now, I’ll go mad. There’s no avoiding how bad things are. Erich’s houses could well take months to sell — if they do at all — despite Lucinda’s optimism. Meanwhile, I’ve got five mouths to feed. Then there’s Grandma’s eviction threat. I really need to make some big decisions fast.
What’s really galling is that even though the missile attack on Niúni Farm was blamed on Muru, the escalation in hostilities hasn’t slowed. Now, thanks to every deadline and ultimatum being pissed on by the WA, the UPR is shipping home its workers not deemed suitable to fight — splitting off the older women and the kids, and arming the rest. Already there’s been a shootout down at Clifford Bay. Our PM might be pretending we’re winning, but he’s on his own.
I spend the morning at Lucinda’s office, making calls and talking in circles until, together, we nut out a plan. Thank god she’s here — this is one decision I don’t want to make alone. While she handles a few final calls, I go home to tell Mikey and the others what I propose. Mei and Gurien take some persuading, but I’m not surprised: they’ve lived in fear of the authorities their entire lives. In the end, though, they all buy in — on Mikey’s condition that we take Winston C.
Next I go and break the news to Jeannie and Trav. She’s brought him home from hospital, and taken a few days off work. He’s looking in remarkably good shape.
‘I’m going to hold a press conference,’ I say. ‘Lucinda’s going to get it broadcast here and stream it overseas. I’m going to tell them everything: the way the PM used Dad’s death to implicate the UPR, the way he let the WA missile the farm, and how their Secret Service controlled Muru and called all the shots … How they killed Dad.’
‘Good god, Ashley, you can’t do that. They’ll bloody crucify you!’
‘I’ll lay low — we’re going to get out of town. Anyway, Lucinda says that if the whole world knows, I should be safer. Then, if they do anything to me, they’ll look even worse.’
‘You really think that will stop them?’
‘Probably not. But this whole thing’s getting uglier by the day, whether I talk or not — at the rate we’re going, there’ll come a point when we’ll have no choice but to take up arms. If I can’t stop it, then I want to be ready. I want Grandma and Mikey safe.’
Trav clears his throat. ‘I’m with you, mate.’
‘Cheers, bro. But Jeannie needs you here.’
He looks pissed off, and Jeannie looks shattered. ‘What are you going to do?’ she asks.
‘I’ve talked to Monica. It’s no surprise — her business is in the shit. I’m going to take us all up there to live in the campground, and when I can sell the houses here I’ll buy the land. Mei and Gurien have said they’ll help me take on Grandma’s care, and Mikey’s sweet so long as he’s with Jiao. We’ll have rainwater for drinking, the river for irrigation and washing, and room to grow some food. And, if the internet ever comes back online, we’ll use it to catch up on our study until things come right.’
‘But what if you’re hunted down by their Secret Service.’
‘Then I’ll go into hiding if I get the chance. But I’ll be leaving Mikey with people who care for him — accept him — and who’ll defend him to the death. I’d do the same for them. They’re part of my family now — like you guys and Lucinda. We share a bond.’
‘Oh, Ashley, you make it sound so easy when it’s not.’
My face grows hot. ‘You think I don’t know that after everything I’ve been through?’
‘That should make you even more cautious.’
‘I’m not going to sit on my hands while people are killed for the sake of a few power-grubbing arseholes. Fuck that. If I have to fight, I will. You listened in to my talks with Dad. You know how he spent his life. I’m not going to let him down, Jeannie — he always stood up for ordinary people’s human rights.’
Now it’s her turn to blush, as Trav claps his hands and beams at me. ‘William Shakespeare couldn’t have said it any better!’ He stands up and shakes my hand, grinning like a school kid whose enemy’s just been thrashed. ‘Don’t disappear — I’ll be back in a mo. Gotta take a leak.’
Jeannie’s slumped into her chair. She obviously recognises a stubborn bastard when she sees one. ‘Okay. Okay. But you’d better bloody keep in touch.’
‘Come with us,’ I say. ‘There’s enough room for everyone.’
She shakes her head. ‘I wish I could, but I’m afraid you’ve rubbed off on me. It’s my duty to try to minimise the harm. The more I dig, the more it looks like Commissioner Hargraves is in the know. I want to take him down.’ She rubs her forehead as if to soothe herself, and says nothing for a while. Seems caught up in her thoughts. Then she sits up straight. ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but why don’t you take Travis? If he stays here, we’ll for ever be at each other’s throats. You’ll be a good influence, I think.’
‘But you know if he comes and there’s a fight, he won’t stand back.’
‘I know. But I suspect you’re right — the way we’re going right now, he’ll have no choice. And while I’m involved in sorting Hargraves I’d rather he was somewhere safe. Anyway, it’s good for him to have some friends who care for him, not like the losers he was hanging out with before. If he’s happy, then I
’ll be happy too.’
‘Bloody hell, Ma. Do you mean it?’ Trav is standing at the door. In one long stride he’s over by her chair and kissing the top of her head. It’s good to see.
Jeannie is all efficiency now, and takes over the planning like the whole thing was her idea. Once a cop, always a cop, I guess. Her brother has a trailer we can hook up to the back of Erich’s car, which means we can take a heap more stuff. And she suggests that Trav drives the others up the day before I do the broadcast. She says she’ll organise safe transport to whisk me and Grandma off the following day, but it would be wise to get the others out before I dump on the PM and the WA.
I leave her and Trav to prattle on about what he’ll need to take with him. I feel wiped out already, though know I’m going to have to hold everything together till I’m done. Jeezus. There’ll be no going back once I’ve said my piece.
Two days later, I stand outside our apartment block with Jeannie and wave the others off. I feel oddly calm, like I’m living out something that’s been pre-ordained. All the same, it’s hard saying goodbye to Mikey, knowing there’ll be a shit-fight to survive before I can hope to see him again. The upside is he’s so relaxed with Trav, Jiao and her folks he hardly gives me a second glance as he drives away with our new patched-together family in Erich’s old patched-together car.
‘Good news,’ Jeannie tells me. ‘I’ve organised a friend who flies a helicopter to take you and your grandma north after your speech.’
‘Are you crazy? It’s supposed to be secret.’
‘Ashley,’ she says, smiling like she thinks I’m being a fool, ‘we’ve always known roughly what you’ve been up to, and where you are. And we’ve always been on your side — always will. We’re not the bad guys here. Nor are the army. Nor, for the most part, are our misguided government.’
My god, have I been suckered in again? ‘What the hell do you mean?’
‘People are starting to understand what’s going on. Trust me, once Hargraves gets his come-uppance the core of the police will back you to the hilt. I guarantee that even if they do know where you’re living, they’ll keep you safe. The last thing this country needs is a martyr — they all agree on that. The safer you are tucked away, the less chance for things to flare further out of control.’