by M. Robinson
I closed my eyes, trying to soak in her words.
“Make me what?” I managed to ask.
Moving her fingers from my back, she cupped my chin, beckoning me to turn towards her. I did. She looked deep into my eyes and spoke with more conviction than I had ever witnessed.
“I want to make you a VIP.”
<>*<>S<>*<>
Allie and I, broke up shortly after the school year ended. We both agreed that we didn’t want to start our senior year with anything holding us back, when it came down to deciding what colleges we would attend. It wasn’t a hard decision. I was far from devastated. Olivia and I still remained more distant. I didn’t see her often and when I did it was brief.
I saw her washing her mom’s car when I was jogging down her street one afternoon, it wasn’t a coincidence. I would run down their street often, just in case I could get the opportunity to talk to her.
My eyes gazed over to her short gray cotton shorts and white t-shirt that she had tied to show off her midriff. She saw me, and stopped spraying the car with the hose.
“That’s nice of you to be washing your mom’s car.”
“Yeah…it’s going to be mine, when I turn sixteen.”
“Really? Julia hadn’t told me.”
“We discussed it last night. They’re going to get her a new car. I didn’t care about even having one, but they insisted I needed something.” She said, as she nervously played with the nob of the hose.
“I bet Julia’s excited about that.”
“You know Julia, she loves buying anything” she chuckled, “they all just left to go browse around for one.”
“How have you been?” I asked, while walking over to her to grab the hose.
“I’m good.” She replied, watching me hose off the soapsuds off the car.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know. I want to.” I stated.
I was trying to distract myself from having an argument. It seemed like every time we were alone lately we fought. I just wanted to be around my best friend. I couldn’t even explain how much I missed her.
“Julia told me you and Allie broke up?” She admitted.
“Mmm hmm.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I haven’t really gotten the opportunity to. You haven’t really been accessible, you know with avoiding me and all.” I smirked, as I glanced up at her.
She cocked her head to the side and put her hands on her hips, “here I thought you were the one that was avoiding me. Thanks for clarifying that up, Sebby.” She teased.
I noticed that she had called me Sebby. I missed hearing that name from her lips. I didn’t want our flirty banter to stop. Before I even realized what I was doing, I squeezed the trigger of the hose and misted her face with water.
She gasped in surprise, and quickly ran to the bucket of soapy water. She grabbed the sponge and threw it in my direction. She usually had terrible aim, except this time; it smacked me right in the face.
“Oh…you’re going to get it.” I groaned, as I ran to her.
She took off with the bucket in her hands around the car. I squeezed the trigger of the hose soaking her, as I was running to catch her. She was laughing and it was slowing down her running. Suddenly she turned around, threw the bucket of water in my direction, and soaking me right back. She fell forward laughing by the surprised look on my face, and I took the opportunity to lift her over my shoulder. She was squirming, wiggling, and laughing so hard that I lost my footing on the grass and we both fell over.
I caught myself before falling on top of her and crushing her with my body weight. We were both laughing hysterically. When I realized that I could see that she wasn’t wearing a bra, I stopped. Her nipples were hard and I could see them through her soaked white shirt. I looked back up at her face and she was grinning at me.
I bent my mouth forward and kissed the top of her nipple. She moaned and I wanted nothing more than to take it in my mouth. I kissed my way up her chest and to her neck. I didn’t care that we were in her front yard, I was still thankful that the car was blocking us from view.
“Nobody will be home for hours, Sebby, let’s go to my room.” She stated in a husky voice.
I pushed up from her and she caught both my arms.
“We aren’t going to my room are we?” She panted and I shook my head.
“Why? Why can’t you give me what I want? I know you want me. I can feel that you want me right now, Sebby. Why can’t it be you?”
“Because, Oli it wouldn’t be right. I can’t do that. I can’t take something from you and then just walk away. It would be ten times harder than it is right now. You know it would be. We are barely talking as it is. Can you imagine what it would be like if we were to sleep together? I can’t lose you completely.” She sighed, and turned her face away from me.
I stood up and grabbed her hand to help her up and she let me. As soon as we were both standing, she put her arms around my neck and pressed her body to mine. I was shocked that she embraced me this way, and I immediately put my arms around her.
“I love you.” She whispered.
“I love you, too.” I repeated.
Chapter 6
What do I even say to that encounter? It was one of the most erotic, sensual, and frightening experiences of my life. I went home that evening, laid in my bed, and stared at the ceiling of my bedroom for hours. I thought about my life, my life as a child, an adolescent, and as an adult. In that moment, I realized that I had never experienced any normal things growing up. I never enjoyed my life, and the only time I ever felt true happiness and at peace was when I was using my body. I don’t know what that makes me.
Does it make me a bad person or does it make it just me?
I thought about my mother for the first time in two years; where she was, if she was alive, or if she was happy. Was she ever happy? Did she feel the same thrill that I did when she was with her Johns, is that why she couldn’t stop doing it. Is that why she sold herself everyday? Because, it’s the only time she felt whole? Am I the way that I am, because of my mother?
Kids grow up to want to be like their parents everyday. Did she influence my desires? Would I have been different if my upbringing would have been normal? If I would have had two loving parents? I asked myself an endless amount of questions that night and I cried, for the first time in a long time. I cried for everything in my past, my present, and I even cried for the future. I cried for the little girl who had to grow up to fast, and I cried for the woman that I wanted to be. In that moment, I decided that I would embrace this, like I did everything else. I wanted the control and with that I would get power. I could do this.
I could become a VIP.
I woke the next morning with puffy eyes and a smile on my face. I can’t really explain it, I felt rejuvenated, if you will, like I was turning a new page in my life. I reached for the card and my phone on my nightstand and dialed.
“Good morning, Madam Residence.”
“Good morning, is Madam available?” I replied.
“Please hold.” I waited for the longest time, at least that’s what it felt like.
“Bella Rosa.” She said. I was caught off guard that she knew it was me. I didn’t say anything.
“Are you there?” I still couldn’t say anything.
“My Bella Rosa, I can hear you breathing.” My mouth had become dry and I swallowed what little saliva I had. My renewed sense of well-being had just been squashed and replaced with a serious case of nerves.
“I’m here…I thought about it last night and I want to do this.” I blurted out, before I had time to change my mind and hang up on her. I hesitated briefly, trying to regain my confidence. “I know that I could make you proud.” I imagined her smiling on the other end.
“I know that you can, too. I never had any doubts. Do you work tonight?” She asked.
“I quit, before I came to see you yesterday.”
“As I knew you would. I’ll se
e you at 6 p.m.”
And with that she hung up. I put down my phone and breathed out the air that I didn’t realize I was still holding. I had felt awful for quitting on Devon, but he didn’t put up a fight or ask why. A part of me thinks that he knew, not what I was about to do, just that my life was missing something. I know he didn’t want to hold me back. He wished me good luck and scheduled a dinner for us the following week.
I got off my bed and walked over to my full-length mirror. I stared at my naked body, pulling the hair from my face. I started to trace the outline of my pouty lips, and the tip of my tongue glided my fingertips. I sucked on my finger all the way to the knuckle and moaned. I took that same finger and traced from my neck to both my collarbones, leaving a trail of my saliva behind. In the mirror it almost looked like it was glowing. I repeated the same process with my other hand, except this time I touched my nipple, lightly at first. Then with my thumb and index finger I pulled on it, which again made me moan. I rubbed my breast with one hand, while the other slowly treaded toward my belly-button. Using the tips of my fingers I circled it.
My hand moved toward the top of my pussy and I touched the lining of my labia. I was wet. I took two fingers and separated my folds. I made circles around my clit with my other hand, and the bundle of nerves caused me to feel hot and warm inside. My touch was light, and then it became harder and faster, more urgent. I moaned even louder, it was shameless. I had to put my other hand on the wall for support. I moved my fingers from my clit to the opening of my pussy and pushed in hard, which made me moan even louder. I loved to fuck myself, the harder I was, the harder I would come. Pushing in and out of my pussy, I made a come here motion with my fingers as I pushed harder and harder on the rigged walls of my g-spot. I began to breath heavier, I knew I was close, my legs trembled and my lower abdomen became tighter and tighter.
“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, right there.”
I looked at my face in the mirror and watched my eyes roll to the back of my head, while I came all over my fingers. I slowly began to catch my normal breathing, then I brought my fingers to my mouth, and licked them clean.
“I can do this.” I told myself. I smiled, and turned to shower to get ready for tonight.
<>*<>S<>*<>
My senior year was fast approaching. We had three more weeks until school was back in full session again. I had spent a lot time looking at what colleges I wanted to start applying to. I even took SAT and ACT prep courses this past month. I was eager to get the whole standardized testing thing behind me.
Julia and Robert parted ways and Julia didn’t even seem fazed by it. Her and I, still remained best friends. We always would. It was inevitable.
Olivia and I, on the other hand, were still distant from each other. I hated the distance between us, and wondered if it would ever be any different.
Our parents were having their annual end of the summer barbeque. Olivia was in the pool swimming laps, trying to get back in shape for the new season. Julia and I, were sitting under the canopy, I was doing SAT prep, and she was reading a magazine.
She suddenly slammed down her magazine. “What the hell happened with you and Oli, Sebby?”
“What are you talking about, Babygirl?”
“Oh come on! I’m not stupid. You guys barely even look at each other, let alone speak to one another. What happened?”
I wanted to avoid having this discussion at all costs. What was I supposed to say?
Oh…you know Julia, she wanted me to take her virginity and I rejected her. Oh…and we’ve also been secretly kissing and groping each other for years, and to top it all off, we want to be together.
Nope, wasn’t going there, no way in hell was I going there.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. We’re both just busy.” I looked back at Olivia. “Oli!” I shouted, she turned and looked at me. “Do you want something to drink?” I asked.
“No, I’m good. Thanks.” She went back to swimming.
I turned to Julia. “See…” saying it with a grin.
“Ugh…that was pathetic. If you think that’s going to shut me up you’re dead wrong, Sebastian.” She argued.
“I know that, because you don’t ever shut up.” She grabbed her magazine and hit me on the head.
“That was rude! Seriously…what’s going on between you two? You’ve barely said more than a handful of words to each other all year. We’re all ‘supposed’ to be best friends, and our tripod is lacking two people.”
“Really…our tripod, like…for real?” I said, with my ditsiest demeanor.
“Ugh, fine if you’re going to be a dick.” She abruptly stood to leave.
“Stop…” Grabbing her arm and jerking her back to sit down. “You’re right I’m being an asshole, I’m sorry.” I placed my arm around her shoulders. “Nothing is going on. Besides, like you haven’t enjoyed just having me to yourself these last few months. I know you have!” I said, kissing her cheek and she rolled her eyes at me.
“Don’t flatter yourself, Sebby. You’re the one that has enjoyed it just being the two of us again. Maybe that’s why you and Oli aren’t talking anymore, because you…wanted me all to yourself, huh?” Responding in a girly squeal.
“You hit it right on the money, Babygirl.” I kissed the top of her head and couldn’t help myself, I looked over at Olivia, who was staring right at us. She gave me a sad smile and dipped her head back in the pool.
“Oh…Sebby…” Julia said, bringing my attention right back to her. “What am I going to do when you leave for college next year?”
“You’re going to miss me like crazy, until I come back to visit.” I once again kissed the top of her head.
“Are you really going to go away? I mean…you know the commute to UM is only thirty minutes and it has an amazing marketing program.” I could hear the optimism in her voice.
“I’m leaving all my options open, Babygirl. I don’t want to make you a promise I can’t keep.”
She took a deep breath. “I know Sebby, I don’t ever want to lose you. You’re my best friend, and it would kill me if we weren’t to remain that way. I have known you my entire life, we’re supposed to get married at Disney World and have two babies named Ren and Stimpy…remember?” She stated, reminding me of our childhood pact.
“You won’t, that I can promise you.” Looking back over at Olivia, I knew I made the right choice.
<>*<>S<>*<>
Senior prom was finally here and our parents had insisted that I take the girls to my last high school event. I had rented a tux and bought them white orchid corsages.
I finished getting ready just as the limo was there to pick me up. My parents waited down stairs to drive over to the Matthews to take a fuck load of pictures I was sure.
I made my way downstairs and my mom began to get teary eyed.
“Oh my God, Sebastian you look so handsome. I can’t believe my baby boy is a man and going to college in a few months.” She wept.
“Oh come on, honey. Get it together, you’re going to see him all the time. He’s still our son and we will visit each other” my dad affirmed, putting his arm around my mom to comfort her.
“Mom, please don’t cry, you know I hate it when you cry.” I interjected, pulling her into a hug.
“I love you and I’ll always be your son.”
After taking way too many pictures we rode over to the Matthews. I was nervous for all of us to be together tonight. It had been a long time since we were like this.
I exited the limo and their front door opened to Julia walking right out. Her hair was pinned up with messy curls and some of them were in her face, she was wearing a black gown that was fitted until her ribs and then flowed loosely to the ground. Her cleavage was more exposed than I would have liked, but she looked amazing.
“You look beautiful, Babygirl.” I praised, as she walked over to me.
“You don’t look so bad yourself, handsome.” She boasted, as she leaned in to kiss my cheek.
“I came out here to tell you that my parents have lost their minds and expect to take a million pictures before we are allowed to leave.”
“Oh yeah. Wait until my parents get here. It will be a shit show. Where’s Oli?”
“She’s still getting ready. She’s almost done.” She grabbed my hand and we walked back in together just as my parents were pulling up.
Julia and I took pictures together while we waited for Oli. Our mothers both fussing over us, I had seen my mom weep more tears this year than ever before. Both of them were a blubbering mess and our dads just stood back and laughed.
I heard the clicking of heels on the hardwood floor and turned around to Oli walking towards us.
I had never seen her look more gorgeous. She was dressed in a light yellow gown that was fitted perfectly to her body until her knees and then it subtly flowed out. Her hair was curled and tied to the left side of her face. I had never seen her wear so much makeup before. The black eyeliner she wore just accented her bright green eyes even more. She was breathtaking.
“Wow, Oli…” I stammered, as she smiled shyly.
They took more pictures and then some more after that. I eagerly pushed both girls out the door and into the limo, having had enough already.
Oli moved to the other side of the limo and Julia sat beside me. It didn’t surprise me that Oli would choose to sit as far away from me as possible, it’s what we did, avoid the fact that we were emotionally connected, and hope it would go away on it’s own.
Prom was ridiculously cliché, from the decorations to the music. I was ready to leave an hour after we got there. The girls, however, seemed to be enjoying themselves. Julia took my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor, I held her close as we slow danced, and I wanted her to be happy.
I caught Olivia’s glare from the corner of the room. She looked sad and I hated it. I wanted to go pull her into my arms and hold her this way. Julia kissed my neck and I inadvertently kissed her forehead.