Zero Defect: An autobiography of a software engineer

  She tried to seize her cell phone but I held it tight, with force she pushed me on the bed and then jumped over. I was lying on my back and she was bent down over me on her knees and arms. Though my hands were stretched away, they were still free and so I dialed a number quickly - the doorbell rang. I was saved.

  Ignorant Technologies

  I was in my bay working, chatting with Jain, everything as usual when I got a call. He was Deepak, the HR that was there in Ignorant Tech. He came straight to the point and asked me if I was interested in taking some interviews for them, “technical interviews in java” he elaborated. I tinkered with the idea before I said yes, “When and where?”

  It was on Saturday, close to my place in Sindh colony and I had to reach at the venue at nine sharp. I was little apprehensive about the whole thing, to be frank to the point that I was having butterflies in the stomach. I parked my bike outside the building. It was a big building it had a big corporate clinic on its fourth floor and a gym at third; ground, first, and the second floor was for the office. I imagined people going from office to the gym and then to the hospital, it made a natural flow. What I thought was missing was a psychiatrist clinic that people in software industry need time to time.

  I had to meet Mr. Deepak, I told the security guard who initially thought that I was there to give interview; I explained to him that I was there to take one not to give one. He looked at me doubtfully and called Mr. Deepak, who confirmed what I just said. His stance changed and now he addressed me as “Sir” and said “This way sir, let me take you there”

  He escorted me to a pair of ladies, who introduced themselves as HR executives to me, as if I didn’t know already, a blind man would have guessed that. We hung around a cubicle and chit chatted. I saw people sitting in cubicles in a row opposite to ours, they were writing something,

  “What are they so meticulously working on?” I asked one of them.

  “We take a written first, and only then interviews are conducted” She explained the process. She told me further that there would be two technical rounds and one HR rounds my job would be to conduct the first technical round and screen people. We were discussing just then Mr. Deepak entered,

  “Sorry guys, I was stuck in traffic” He announced.

  “Saturday morning traffic?” I wondered loudly. We went to one of the cabins, where he reiterated the same selection procedure again, out of politeness I didn’t tell him, that I was already briefed on that.

  “We are waiting for one more interviewer he’s with us here for some time now” “I’d pair you guys together so that you can be comfortable and learn from each other.”

  I waited for her some time but he didn’t turn up, when I got tired of doing revolutions on the moving chair I got up and went to Deepak. He was flirting with one of the HRs or so it looked from the distance, he was stooping over her, laughing, hands waving, really communicative and expressive. He turned to me when I reached him and put forward my request, across the hall I saw many a guys waiting, yawning or sleeping with their hands on their chins. He thought for a moment and replied, let’s wait five more minutes, I have a gut feeling that - “He’s stuck in traffic” I completed his sentence, he sensed the hint of sarcasm in my statement and replied, “Exactly, let’s wait for few minutes”

  The young lady offered me a cookie, I bit on it and walked back. I was waiting for the candidate to come in, the door opened slightly, he was a very young man, almost looked like a fresher, with door partially opened he politely asked for my permission, I got up from my chair and shook his hand, if handshakes were indication of confidence I must say his grip was really firm, he looked straight into my eyes and smilingly said his name, after we sat down I looked into his resume, seven month of experience only! And ready to change his job.

  I asked the guy about his project and that was it, that was the only question I asked, from there he completely took over, he picked up a marker and moved to the white board, he gave a detail presentation on how he was working for like past six months at the client location, some refrigeration company, and how he had actually contributed to the optimization of the their production process using the information technology tools, he told me about the technologies in java space that I had not even heard of, it was flattering. I wanted a guy like this, I wanted to be a guy like this. He was going on and on when I had to meddle and ask him to stop, I thanked him and told him that HR will get back to him soon, he had that smile in his eyes, he probably knew he was selected, or maybe it didn’t matter to him whether he is selected or not, the guy was special, the guy was above any expectation, or anything.

  I took four interviews before we gathered back for lunch. Everybody was there – the HRs, Negi, Deepak, of-course it was not meant for the candidates.

  “What are you looking at?” She, the young flirtee HR, got me out of slumber; I got my eyes off the plate and replied. “You eat like a rat”

  “What do you mean?” She hit back, I had caught her unguarded.

  “I mean look at your plate” I said pointing, “That’s like two grains of rice and half a piece of chapatti and look at the volume of dal you have taken, no butter on your plate”

  “Okay okay shut up, I get it” “

  What’s wrong with women these days?”

  “Huh?” She said.

  “You targeting for figure zero or something, that’s how you maintain” I eyed her from hair to toe.

  She became a little conscious and said, “Hell with you, you know” She stood up and took her plate and sat closed from Deepak, Mr. Deepak’s eyes twinkled, a smile floated on his face.

  I too was done eating, I couldn’t eat anymore infact, my conscience was bothering me too much, I went straight to the cabin, on my way I picked up a resume. I went to the interviewee bay and announced the name, it was Dinesh something. I marched forward the room, I didn’t look back who followed me.

  It was not even two minutes since I got back and a knock on the door startled me, “May I come in sir” said the voice on the other end, I really felt great to be addressed as sir. The guy was sitting right across me, I asked him without looking at him if he was any nervous with a shrill in his voice he said no. I was still looking for the assessment sheets till I found them fallen under the table. I raised to greet the candidate and was flabbergasted to find who it was.

  He indeed was Dinesh, Dinesh the team lead. He looked even more than me, in an instant he stood up, “there must be mistake” he uttered below his breath.

  The interview for me was pretty much over. I carefully studied his face and spoke “I think I have seen you somewhere”

  “Sure you must have, this world is a small place” He shrugged.

  I knew I had this guy by balls, it was my chance to turn the tables on him. An evil scheme already begin to cook in my mind, I could not afford to let this chance go. In one stroke I could make a mighty blow against the Giant.

  So, I began a flurry of questions mostly directed toward the difficult end of the spectrum, I did not want the guy at any cost, it was a personal matter. Just then Negi barged in, he sat beside me. With lowered voice he said, “I hope you don’t mind, I had no more interviews left.”

  I blinked to assure him he could join in. But I didn’t stop and continued to ask the most difficult question and in the most roundabout manner. I confused Dinesh like hell.

  And after it was over, Negi and I got talking. “I think he was okay” said I. “The guy knew about web-services, he had worked on Spring web and -“

  “No, I think he had a very limited knowledge, he had a very bare knowledge of these technologies” Negi replied. “Just an average fellow, not my guy I think, and definitely not the one for Ignorant Technologies”

  “But he fitted well in the profile that company is looking for -“ I reasoned.

  “Not really, poor communication skills as well” He added further.

  I shrugged and filled out the assessment form, he was my candidate and it was my call - Dinesh w
as selected. Negi was annoyed at my decision, but I knew what I was doing.

  I told Deepak to not let go this guy at any cost, “give him whatever he demands” An offer letter was generated on the spot, and of which I took a photocopy. Deepak was like umm why do you need a photocopy of his offer letter for yourself? I gave him the most sodden excuse possible, “I wanted to keep it as memorabilia” He rolled his eyes but he couldn’t care less.

  Strangers, strangeness

  Okay, this is gonna sound little out of blue, but whaaat? Arnav was getting married? Say what, again? Arnav was getting married, yes you heard it right. I too was as surprised as you probably are. So, what exactly had happened which sort of changed his view about the humanity’s oldest institution? Last time, I checked he was all gun blazingly against marriage.

  I was disappointed as much as I was surprised, first he didn’t tell me what was going on, he never told me anything that he was looking, and then he never invited me personally. He just sent me an email with an attachment, it was the marriage invitation card, he was going to wed some Sapna in so and so place and at so and so wedding point.

  And as any honorable man would do I didn’t go to his wedding, so he was too proud of himself to even call me? The ever smiling D.B. gave me a call that evening and we had a vada sambhar for snacks which btw was hot and spicy – just the way I like it; he told me that he had his tickets booked as soon as he came to know which btw was much earlier. I felt left out, so was it that our friendship had come to a saturation point? What happened to those days, sorrows, joys, adventure we shared. My life resembled that of those reality shows that overloaded the tube - big boss and roadies and what not. Life around was a stage and all the people around me were the actors, nobody real, nobody; the only difference was there was no directors around to dictate, no writers to set up the scenes, everything was still random, but, but there was a guiding force, a greed, an idea of putting their own interests before anything else.

  So, the Mr. Smiles went to the supposed wedding and reported back to me, we met at the same canteen and over the same vada sambhar, same sulking faces and stooped shoulders around, and in there somewhere Mr. Smiles looked like a black sheep; and at then at that moment I understood what he really stood for. He was a lonely ray of hope emerging from beneath the dark clouds, someone whom I could look time and again and say, “Hanstey, hanstey kat jaaye raste”

  Okay, among the non-important things that he blabbered there was this one thing he said, he told me about the supposed wedding reception, and asked me to come, I was reluctant but I chewed on the idea for sometime before I said yes. He was my friend after all, I had to give him benefit of doubt, at least once.

  It became pretty cool in the night so much so that it actually felt cold, the weather-ists had squarely blamed the condition on some tornado which arose all the way from Indian ocean down south. And so Arnav looked bit uncomfortable wearing a thin sherwani, he gave a widening smile which caught me unguarded, I didn’t expect a warm welcome from him, was he just following his part of the script? I didn’t care. I congratulated him and gave the gift that smiles and I brought for him. He looked at the fancy wrapped box and asked, “What is it?”

  I looked at him and asked “what is it?”

  “Look I am so sorry that I didn’t invite you personally to my marriage”

  “No need to explain…” I replied. “Why did you ask me to come now?”

  “Wait for sometime” his voice softened, “I have a surprise for you” I knew this guy well, I had kind of eerie feeling that he was going to pull-off a trick or two on me.

  Arnav signaled the photographer who was filming a little guy – a cute messy haired boy jumping around. We quickly got in to position, D.B. got seated next to Arnav while I sat in front. I tried my best to put a smile, hell I was not a good liar. It took a couple of minutes to get clicked, Arnav called the little boy after that.

  “Take uncle to chachi’s place” He said with finger pointing to me, clearly he called me uncle, which was outrageous.

  “I am not going anywhere” I cried.

  “Go with the boy, I want you to meet a friend” He said. I figured he wanted me to go to bride’s dressing room.

  “Well?” I thought, and followed like Alice followed the white rabbit.

  He took me through the side door, up the stairs to the first floor, he disappeared before I knocked on the door. “What am I doing here?” I thought. A young woman in bright pink sarees opened the door, she looked dusky, and slim. And I thought is the woman Arnav married? She was beautiful in her own way, a figure just as Arnav used to describe me. She stared at me for a moment and then bang, closed the door on my face. I felt stupid, super duper stupid, Arnav had got me again, a pretty good way to embarrass a friend.

  I was planning on my revenge, I thought of several things, best of which seemed like cutting all ties with Arnav, set him free as people would say. Half way downstairs I heard a shout, the pink saree girl was standing there again, this time she was smiling, she asked me to come inside, I was not going to fall onto some other evil scheme - I was determined. I ignored her, continued downstairs, and then it happened – she shouted my name!

  The room was a decent sized one – around 4-5 female species walked in there, I was bit nervous naturally. A young woman was sitting on a dressing table, and another was standing behind her carefully untangling the strands of her hair, another one was giving last touch-ups to her face – she held this Lakme brush which she worked just as an archeologist brushes the artifacts on the site. I couldn’t see her face in the mirror, but apparently she saw mine, otherwise she wouldn’t have turned toward me. My heart stopped beating, the moment came to a standstill. The glossy pair of eyes that were staring at me belonged to Ishika.

  So, there I was standing at the ceremony of someone’s new life, but at the pyre of my love. I wished it was a nightmare, from which I will wake up any moment now, but alas.

  She stood up, and moved a few inch toward me, I so wanted her to run back to me and hug me, but perhaps it was her lakshman rekha now.

  “What is this?”

  “What?” I said shrugging. I should rather be asking this question to her.

  “You know what I mean, what is this happening between us? How did we come to this point?” She asked back.

  I’d be fooling you if I say I was speechless, I had waited for this day and I had waited for this dreadful moment for long, when we’d meet like, no-one was in hurry, we had to confront each other, we had to mull what went wrong, and who was wrong, whose was to be blamed for both are miseries. Yes, it was true that both of us were suffering, it was not only me who was reeling under an uneasy feeling, she too was restless. I could see that from her face.

  She bore a look of the hollowness of universe, thousands of stars burning into a thick white lump, before bursting into rays of bright yellow light on their own. The thing is everything is finite, the joy, the sorrow, even the space that engulfs us, and there is this moment which holds a meaning, a significance of its own, no past, no future, in no context. It just existed on its own, and lives and burns into its own shadow. Even the infinites have a mathematical boundary under which it exists. Nothing escapes, only the moment lives.

  “Why are you still angry with me? How long I have to suffer for one mistake? Why, why I shook my head, why do you hate me so much?” I had million questions to ask, I wanted to ask her about this – her marriage with Arnav. How could she do this to me? How could Arnav do this to me?

  *My mother didn’t die, remember I told you.” “My mother left me when I was six”

  I wondered what it has to do with her mother, and then I recalled Freud, ‘childhood traumas’ and ‘human sexuality’ can answer almost all our questions. “What do you mean?” “

  “My father and mother had a love marriage but they could never get along. They pursued different ideals, she wanted to fly but my father unhappy, and reasonably so, she’d be away for weeks sometime, my father had to
take care of me and my sister all the time.”

  “So, eventually the breaking point came, and they split up, my mother never asked for my custody. She took my sister instead and moved to other side of the city, with her parents.”

  “…Being a child and having no one to talk to but only your father who too was too absorbed in his work, the pang of loneliness and sadness struck me. My dad used to tell me that they would come back and I should cheer up and not be sad all the time, he told me they’d come to visit me sometimes, on Sundays, I waited and waited but it didn’t happen either.”

  “…I asked him why can’t we go to them, but he wouldn’t answer me, he would just make excuses like he was too busy or her mother was out of town, or something. Why can’t I see my mother? Why can’t I get back my sister? She was so young, and pretty like a doll. As I grew up the sadness turned into anger, and as I became more independent, the feeling of uneasiness grew further, I needed a closure, I wanted to see my mother and my sister, and I wanted to know why didn’t they visit me even once, and I wanted to know if they had any place for me in their heart, I wanted to know if they really loved me.”

  “…So, I began to spend hours outside my grandparent’s house, where my mother continued to live, she never got married again, and yet she had moved on. I didn’t see my sister, and that ate me from inside, my mother looked almost the same, as if no day has passed since she left us. And sometimes I would go and stand at the gate struggling with myself that I should push that bell, it was just a stupid bell after all, but I knew the gate if opened can change my life forever, for good or for worse, I could get back my mother or I could lose my father. I can’t betray my father, but I cannot betray my own heart as well. I would stand there frozen, in cold or hot, in rain or sunshine, I was there, I was there, standing, waiting, maybe someone else will break this spell for me, I won’t have to make a choice.”