by Naomi King
James gently grasped her wrist. “Abby.”
She stopped scrubbing the baked-on cheese, drawn in by his earnest gaze.
“You’re the last person in the world I want to hurt.” He leaned closer to speak near her ear in a wistful voice. “I got cold feet because— Now don’t take this wrong, Abby, but just when I was ready to kiss you the other night, your laughter sounded like Zanna’s and I saw her in the way you raised your eyebrows—”
Abby blinked. This wasn’t what she’d expected to hear, yet James’s desperate expression told her he was completely sincere. He looked exasperated with himself and spooked by what had happened.
“—and I would never compare you to your sister, Abby,” he continued earnestly. “I ruined a wonderful-gut ride, and it’s bothered me all week, and…I didn’t know how to tell you. Can you forgive me, Abby? Please?”
Oh, but his gaze delved into her lonely heart, enough that she could set aside her momentary disappointment that he’d thought about pretty, vivacious Zanna instead of delivering that kiss they’d both wanted. But hadn’t it taken great courage to tell her the truth? Some fellows would never bother trying to explain.
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
It was the only line of the Lord’s Prayer that placed responsibility on the one asking God for such things as daily bread and delivery from evil. And hadn’t everyone in Cedar Creek witnessed the forgiveness James had granted Zanna?
Abby’s heart fluttered. Her disappointment released its grip. “Jah, James, I’ll forgive you. I’m glad you asked. Glad you told me what happened.”
James exhaled. He rested his forehead against hers for only a moment, but his gesture soothed her soul. “Denki,” he whispered. “I know I need to make up for the way I hurt you, but I still want that kiss, you know. Don’t think for a minute that I’ve forgotten about it.”
Abby felt a pleasant rush of warmth. She considered giving him a peck on the cheek, but with so many folks in the room this wasn’t the time or the place. “Gut, because I haven’t, either.” She eased away from him, thinking of a safer topic, should anyone come up behind them. “So—tell me what’s going on at Graber’s Custom Carriages now that you’ve gotten all those calls.”
James placed the catering pans Abby had just washed in a wagon with high sides and a handle so they could haul them to the house for refills. “It’s going to be an exciting new venture, but I’ll be mighty busy. I’ve taken orders for three more parade buggies. Another fellow wanted half a dozen hay wagons for the Agricultural Hall of Fame in Bonner Springs, Kansas, so Perry, Leon, and Noah will have extra vehicles to work on, as well.”
“And every one of them will be wonderful. Sturdy and well crafted,” Abby replied with a nod.
“I’m grateful to Vernon—and to you, Abby—for helping me keep this flurry of business in perspective.” James smiled at her as though she were the only person in the huge, crowded room. “I turned away orders for five more special rigs because I can’t guarantee their quality if I take on too much work. I see no practical way to expand my shop space or to hire any other experienced carriage makers right now.”
“It’s gut to set limits.” Abby reached for another glass pan to scrape, feeling mischievous. “We don’t want anyone to say that all work and no play has made James a dull boy, you know.”
His laughter rang out, and then he leaned in closer so only she would hear him. “I don’t want you to think I’ve become dull, Abby. There’s more to life than welding and painting and wiring light panels, ain’t so?”
Abby’s pulse sped up, but as she was about to respond, the door from her mother’s front shop swung open and Matt stepped through. He looked ready to cry—or to cuss, the way some young fellows did during their rumspringa. As her nephew gazed down the length of the serving table, his empty plate in his hand, she stepped away from James.
“We’ll be bringing fresh pans of everything from the house in just a few, Matt,” she said. Rather than ask why his mood had changed so drastically, she buttered a slice of Lois Yutzy’s fresh rye bread, knowing it was one of his favorites. “So…after another slice or two of that apple pie, you’re not full?”
“I’ve ruined it.” He shook his head forlornly. “I’ve ruined everything, Aunt Abby.”
“How’s that?” James inquired as he joined them. “Last I saw, you and Rosemary were slipping into the swing for a nice chat and—”
“I kissed her,” Matt confessed. “I couldn’t help myself. And she jumped out of the swing like she couldn’t run away fast enough.”
Abby shared a glance with James. Wasn’t it ironic that a kiss—or the absence of one—had caused so much commotion lately? What could she say to make her nephew feel better, preferably before his friends or his sisters quizzed him about his dejected expression? “I’ve heard more than one widow admit it was difficult to accept affection from a new fella. Maybe—”
“She was trying to tell me she needed more time, that I was moving too fast, and what did I do?” Matt chided himself. “I raced right along on my own excitement, not paying her one bit of attention.”
“Because she’s just what you’ve been searching for, and you couldn’t wait for her feelings to catch up to yours,” James said, clapping Matt on the back. “You’re not the first fella who’s ever done that, you know. Could be that after Rosemary settles down, she’ll realize she liked that kiss. And truth be told, you can give some gals forever and a day and they still won’t come around. Or they’ll fall for some other man in the meanwhile.”
Abby winced. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. Rosemary’s a very sweet woman and awfully young to be alone for the rest of her life. I’m thinking things will work out, Matt. Patience is a virtue.”
“Jah, but it’s obviously not a virtue of mine.” He looked through the nearest window, toward the house. “Guess I’ll stay out of the kitchen…eat another slice or two of that fabulous apple pie, and leave her be.”
“Time and pie heal all wounds, Matt,” James remarked with a nod.
Abby glanced around the noisy greenhouse. Her mother, Barbara, the girls, and the neighbors helping with this meal were all here, pouring water and refilling the bread baskets as they visited with those who’d come to remember Paul today. “Seems like a gut time to head to the kitchen for more food,” she said as she grasped the handle of the cart. “Maybe I can smooth things over so Rosemary won’t go home feeling bad about how your picnic ended.”
“Jah, thanks, Aunt Abby. Rosemary likes you a lot, so whatever you say to her will go over better than anything I could come up with.” Matt looked glumly at James. “I’d better fetch that pie from the swing before the dogs find it. Bring a fork and I’ll share a piece.”
“Best offer I’ve heard all day.” James found a clean fork on the back counter and then slipped his hand around Abby’s for a moment. “How about you let me pull this cart to the kitchen door, and when you’ve refilled the pans I’ll bring them back. By then it should be safe to come into the kitchen.”
“Denki, James. Bringing the hot food sounds like the best way to be first in line for the next shift, ain’t so?”
He laughed and followed her through the back door. “I can’t get a thing past you, can I?”
As the three of them crossed the yard, Abby wondered what she might say to calm Rosemary’s jitters. Or should she let matters take their own course? She’d never lost a husband or taken on responsibilities for a family other than her own, so she had no idea about all the concerns the young widow might be facing. As Matt held open the back door to the kitchen, James rolled the loaded cart inside and Abby stepped in behind it.
Her mouth fell open. All the glass pie plates were washed and stacked on the counter. The utensils they had cooked with all morning were clean and neatly arranged on the table, and Rosemary was draping her damp dish towel over the drying rack. “My word, Rosemary! We didn’t expect you to clean up all by yourself,” she exclaimed. “
Barbara and Mamm will be mighty glad you came today—but then, they’d be happy to have you here even if you hadn’t lifted a finger.”
“How could I not help? It’s what I know how to do,” Rosemary said with a shrug. “And without Katie to look after, well—I’m not used to having free time and empty hands, you see.”
When Abby lifted the metal pans to the tabletop, Rosemary was beside her immediately to assist…not ready to talk about why she had escaped into the kitchen. And that was all right, wasn’t it? Sometimes a little peace and quiet set a lot of things right in a woman’s heart. “It’s nearly time to serve the next shift, so let’s fill these pans with ham and chicken. James will take them back for us.”
Nodding, Rosemary opened the wall oven and carried pan after pan of meat to the table. “You and James make a gut team, Abby. He’s a mighty nice fella—and you’d never know he went through such an ordeal with Zanna,” she remarked. “Maybe he’s finally seeing the way your light shines, ain’t so?”
Abby looked up from the hot pieces of chicken she was transferring. Matt had been so concerned that he’d upset this young woman, yet she seemed collected and composed now—not to mention observant. “James and I had our first date last weekend. And isn’t that a funny bit for a maidel like me to be admitting?”
“I think it’s very sweet. Another way of understanding that love comes in its own gut time.”
“That’s gut advice no matter what your age or your situation.” Abby placed the lid on the first big pan of chicken pieces and then lifted another of Beulah Mae’s metal bins to the table. “Truth be told, James nearly kissed me, but he’s saving it for when I don’t have nieces peeking out their window. I’ve…almost forgotten what kissing felt like.”
Rosemary chortled as she fetched a pan of sliced ham from the oven of the big metal stove. “You can quit beating around the bush, Abby. I know gut and well that Matt’s told you why I rushed into the kitchen.”
“Ah. Well, then, I’m glad to see you’ve recovered.” Abby shook her head. “Matt’s been coming on like a runaway train, hasn’t he? He’s kicking himself for whatever he said to you.”
Rosemary retreated into her own thoughts as she arranged hot ham slices in the catering pan. She then stacked the glass pans the meat had been warming in and carried them to the sink. Abby had no doubt that this young woman kept Titus Yutzy’s house clean and well organized…and that she would be a good match for Matt, who tended to clutter things up. “I should stop being such a nervous Nellie, I suppose,” she finally admitted. “Matt means well, and he’d be a gut fella to hitch up with, but—”
“If you’re not ready for that, you should stand your ground,” Abby said. “Nothing’s to be gained by rushing into a new courtship only to find out you disagree on some important issues after you’ve invested yourselves emotionally.”
Rosemary smiled ruefully. “Denki for understanding my side of it. Titus and Mamm and—well, just about everyone I know—have been saying it’s time for me to let go of the past. I have all faith that I will move forward, Abby. But I want to do that on my own terms. Once I’m a wife again, I might not be making my own decisions, you see.”
“Jah, that’s happened to some of my friends who married in a flurry and now…well, they’re seeing to their husbands and their young children, and they sometimes wonder if they’ll ever have time to be themselves again. That’s one of the reasons I’ve remained unmarried.” Abby set the heavy lids on the two catering pans. “Too hardheaded and set in my ways, you see.”
“Something tells me James doesn’t think so. I predict that by the time summer’s in full bloom, you two will be setting a date,” Rosemary replied. “Better plant a big patch of celery soon.”
Abby felt her cheeks go pink. “We’re already doing that for Phoebe, you know. She and Owen Coblentz got engaged during the supper at Zanna and Jonny’s wedding.”
“Well, then, there must be something in the air here in Cedar Creek.” As Rosemary went to the oven for the final pan of ham, she glanced out the window. Her expression became more speculative. “And there’s something else afoot, too, seeing’s how Titus and Perry Bontrager are heading across the road together.”
Abby was about to ask what Rosemary meant when the door opened and James stepped inside, followed by Matt, who held a pie pan with only three pieces left in it. The two fellows stood there taking in the metal pans on one end of the long kitchen table along with the clean dishes stacked on the other end.
“Time for me to cart these to the greenhouse,” James remarked as he found a big pair of potholders. “The first shift of folks is moving outside. Beulah Mae and her helpers are headed this way.”
Rosemary looked toward the greenhouse. “Jah, such a big crowd is a nice tribute to Preacher Paul.” She turned then, clasping her hands in front of her. “Matt, I’m sorry I spoiled our picnic. I overreacted,” she said. “Maybe someday we can take up where we left off. But not today.”
Matt’s face lit up even though Rosemary had made her boundary clear. “And I’m sorry I bungled things, Rosemary,” he rasped. “It’s gut of you to give me another chance.”
Abby smiled at James as he carefully lifted the first hot, heavy pan into the wagon. Wasn’t love a fine thing when the folks involved made an effort to truly understand each other’s feelings?
As Rosemary sat beside Titus in the buggy, she kept her thoughts to herself, which wasn’t difficult because her father-in-law couldn’t stop talking. He had eaten in the first shift before speaking to Perry Bontrager, and then decided to drive back to Queen City ahead of the crowd, knowing how heavy the horse-drawn traffic would be once everyone else decided to head home. “Jah, there were quite a number of Paul’s kin there I hadn’t seen for nigh onto forty years,” he remarked as he urged the horse into full road speed. “And the more I heard some of them speculate about what Perry might do with that farm, the more I figured I’d best have a word with him before somebody else did.”
Even in his somber black vest and pants, with his black broad-brimmed hat riding low on his forehead, Titus seemed more cheerful and upbeat than he’d been since Alma had started feeling so poorly from her cancer treatments.
“So I asked Perry what his plans were, and we walked across the road,” he continued. “What with his wife just a few months from having another youngster, he wasn’t keen on uprooting his family, and yet—”
Titus shifted his hat back, chuckling. “I could tell the idea might take root if I planted the right seed. His outbuildings are in pretty fair shape, although the fences would need to be replaced on account of how he hasn’t kept much livestock lately. And, of course, those fields would have to be plowed and planted in grass rather than crops,” he continued matter-of-factly. “Meanwhile, I’d be out the expense of feeding the flock or renting pasture nearby until the new grass got established. It’s a lot to think about, but it could be done. Having Matt right across the way will make the whole shift a lot easier.”
Rosemary closed her eyes, letting the afternoon sun warm her face as the breeze played with the strings of her kapp. Titus was talking as if he had already bought the place. And there was no question in his mind that Matt would be staying in Cedar Creek rather than moving to Queen City.
And wasn’t that wishful thinking, assuming you could keep things the way they’ve been for so long?
Yet as Titus kept talking in a voice that rose on a tide of rare excitement, Rosemary no longer felt the fear that had overwhelmed her earlier. Oh, it would be a horrendous job to clear out Titus’s big old house. Forty years of his and Alma’s living there meant that long-forgotten personal possessions would come out of cubbyholes and attic boxes and trunks that Titus had no idea about. Women took care of such matters—just as she had donated Joe’s clothing to an Amish relief program months ago—but Titus had insisted that Beth Ann leave her mother’s belongings where they had always been.
What if he says all of Alma’s personal effects must go to Cedar Creek
? How will you make everything fit into a house that doesn’t appear to be as big as the Yutzy place?
Rosemary shifted on the seat. Plenty of time to deal with that situation, the way she saw it. As she recalled Matt’s hopeful, contrite smile when he’d said good-bye…she realized she didn’t feel edgy or upset anymore. She wasn’t ready to rush ahead, yet she could consider relinquishing her roots in Queen City now that she’d had more time with Matt and had experienced his affection and exuberance. Truth be told, his anticipation of their happiness together was blowing through her soul like a breath of spring.
Matt wanted to be with her. He had established a fine flock and a steady income. All he lacked, as far as she could see, was a physical house where they could make a home. While she liked the Lambright family, living with his parents, his three sisters, and his grandmother in their busy home as a new bride—with Katie—seemed a bit…intimidating. And not at all private.
And who’s rushing ahead now?
“And you know, as we walked around in the house,” Titus was saying, “I realized that if you and Matt were to get hitched, you’d have plenty of room to raise a family while I’d have the dawdi haus, where Paul was living while Perry and Salome’s family used the main rooms. A fresh coat of paint, and the place would be like new.”
It was time to ask the same question that had sprung to her mind on the ride into Cedar Creek that morning. “You’re talking like Perry’s already said he’d sell out,” Rosemary remarked. “He’s worked at James Graber’s carriage shop for a lot of years, so why would he want to move? And what if his wife has no intention of leaving so close to her due date? They have to find someplace else to go, you know—and when you asked Matt about property available around Cedar Creek, there wasn’t any. What with their little ones and all that clearing out and packing to do, why—”