by Anthology
“Zolyn will do,” she told him before pressing on. “And the catch is that you have to promise to make a plan so she gets to see her gran soon,” she bargained.
His reaction turned a little sombre, but behind the sadness, she saw the hope. “You look out for her better than even I do. I truly appreciate it,” he offered.
She shrugged her shoulders. “She always speaks about Granny Elgin. Even I feel like I already know her well enough to know where she keeps the biscuits,” she said while starting toward the door.
“Every room has a cookie jar, always has been that way. That’s why my sister and I were the fittest kids in school. We had to exercise daily to make up for what we ate at home,” he said, walking beside her. The security guard greeted them with a simple head nod.
“I’m trying hard not to want to visit her. There’s nothing better than old style Boere koekies.” She was enjoying the conversations they had, as she could easily move between both languages and he fully understood her.
Inside the building, Kara was doing a handstand against the wall, while she was busy with a conundrum of her own. “Elevator or lift is huis…” She fell over and stood staring at the elevator with knife blade eyes, trying to figure out the Afrikaans word.
“See, already a teaching moment,” Ben offered as he headed toward the lift to swipe his access card. “Huisbak,” he said as aid, and Kara went about saying it over and over again, even making up a song while they waited.
Once in the penthouse, Kara got ready to take a bath. Her father had run it for her. Zolyn had volunteered to clean the fish. It felt out of place, as every time she’d been there before, she was only served tea or coffee.
A gasp left her when Ben’s cell phone began ringing on the kitchen counter and it threw her even more off balance.
“Zolyn, could you please get that? I’ll be there in a second,” he called from somewhere down the hallway.
“Uhm, okay.” She set the knife down and quickly washed her hands while grabbing a kitchen towel to pick up the phone. “It’s Mrs. Elgin. I don’t think—”
“Mummy!” Kara came rushing into the kitchen and grabbed the cell phone. “Mummy, Mummy, we bought a fish at the harbour, and Zo is gonna help us cook it for dinner.”
Flinching at the mention of her name, she noted Ben carried the same expression as he entered the room, but luckily Kara barely gave her mother a chance to speak as she told her about the words she had learned and that she was about to take a bath. It was only as she ran toward her father and said goodbye that Zolyn held her breath.
“Susan,” he answered while Kara was heading back to the bathroom. Whatever Mrs. Elgin had to say was done very loudly and took up most of the time. “She’s my daughter as well,” he said as he turned around and headed in the direction of the bedrooms, which left Zolyn standing between the counter to grab her bag and leave or continue cleaning the fish and pretend she didn’t know what was being said.
Setting the kitchen towel down on the counter, she knew what the right thing to do was, even if she hated it. She proceeded to grab her bag and headed for the front door. Slowly opening it, not wanting to make a sound, the beep of the alarm system reminded her that it wasn’t going to happen that easily.
She heard the footfalls a second later and saw Ben standing in the short hallway. “Goodbye, Susan,” he immediately said, ending the call. “Escaping already, Zolyn?”
Defeated, she nodded her head. “I know it is meant innocently, but from the outside, I can think of many things this can be associated with.” She showed the space between them.
“And you care what others think of you, even if you know it’s false?” He challenged her statement.
“No,” she answered, shaking her head and closing the door to make the incessant beeping stop. “I care what Kara would think. What she hears others say and how it would influence her.”
“She knows you’re her teacher, that you’re kind and willing to stay,” he said, and the sincerity in the words revealed why she knew she was lying to herself.
“That’s just it, but look at it from an outsider’s perspective. Your ex-wife’s even. She thinks we’re…well, you know, and even if we were, Kara’s impressionable, and I don’t want her to get hurt by what others might say.” Her main concern through all this was Kara and not being able to continue being her teacher if things became too problematic.
“You already mean too much to her. She’ll never be able to see you as less than a possible mother figure,” he said as a comfort that meant everything to her.
It was all she wanted, but she kept her eyes diverted, feeling guilty over emotions she knew had slowly made their way into their less than professional relationship.
“That’s not truly the issue, is it?” he asked, taking a step closer. “The looks.” His tone lowered and hit her core with more impact than she anticipated. “The references. And the hidden chuckles.” He stopped a few metres away. “We both know it’s there, but we haven’t done anything about it. So why are you afraid?”
“You know why, Ben,” she whispered. “Nothing can happen.”
“But you’re scared it will?” The bewitching gaze as he said it meant he felt exactly the same, yet she sadly couldn’t embrace the idea that she might finally experience a new romance with him.
She only nodded her head.
He countered the action, and they stood staring at each other for what felt long enough to cement the emotions even more than before. Yet neither dared to move, say a word, and avoided the eye contact. Lost in his eyes, the possible promise of more and the endless hope to never lose it had her cherishing the moment, for it was the limit she could have with him.
A silent moment of dreaming.
“This can never be more than this,” she finally confessed. Her heavy breathing and racing heart was a strange addition to the longing she felt toward him. Whether it was the forbidden feeling, the undeniable connection, or the lingering hope that one day things might change made it feel like it was enough for now.
“Zo? Where are you?” Kara called from the kitchen area.
“Please stay,” he pleaded.
Taking a deep breath, she set her bag down on the floor near the door and passed him by. “For her,” she whispered and headed toward Kara, who was holding a bottle of bubble bath.
“I want bubbles as high as the roof!” Kara said, jumping up in an attempt to touch the ceiling.
Doing her best to hide her emotions, she smiled and took the bottle as Kara handed it to her. “What about we add some and see how far we get?”
“Oooh!” Kara ran back to the bathroom, leaving a trail of sea sand as she went.
Looking over her shoulder, she saw Ben was still standing in the hallway facing the door. For herself, she knew the conflict still hadn’t died away over what was happening between them, and she surmised he was dealing with it in the same way. Pretending it didn’t exist, fooling themselves in the end, because the risk of getting hurt felt too great.
Chapter Three
A week later…
Avoidance was the best description Ben was able to give it, but since the supper they had shared, Zolyn had given lessons in Kara’s room, claiming that they were doing room-associated words. He knew it was for the best, as the emotional connection he felt toward her had grown in a manner he had never felt before.
He first considered leaving them be but then knocked on the open door and stepped inside. “How are things going here?” he casually asked.
Zolyn was sitting at the tea party among toys, wearing a crown, while her knees nearly reached her ears in the small chair. Her bright smile lit up the room along with Kara’s.
“You can sit on the bed,” Kara told the bunny teddy bear while he was quickly pulled into the game.
“I think I might break the chair, princess,” he said, already seeing himself meeting the floor the moment he sat down.
“Nooo,” she dragged out the word, “I’m the queen now, and Zo is
the princess. See the crowns?” The cheeky side of Kara came out, and he caught Zolyn holding in her laughter.
“Okay, your majesty, please forgive my horrible mistake. I still believe the chair might give,” he offered.
“Peasants who break chairs should sit on the floor then,” she said, making a face, putting her hand on her hip, and looking to Zolyn for confirmation.
Zolyn eagerly nodded her head at Kara.
“The princess agrees. Peasants on the floor and royals on chairs,” she proclaimed rather proudly.
“Okay then, your majesty, let’s hope I get back up later.” He found himself a spot on the floor, and in less than a minute, a summer scarf was draped over his shoulders. The hint of orange blossoms was unmistakably Zolyn’s perfume, and beside the crown she was wearing, he noted her plain black suit was far more professional than what she had worn but a week earlier. It brought a sense of disappointment forth, as it showed the seriousness of things returning to the way he supposed it should be.
“I’ll get the iced tea!” Kara ran out of the room.
After a few moments of silence, Zolyn cleared her throat. “How are you?” she asked, and her deep brown eyes shot right through him. This was why they couldn’t be alone. The intensity was overwhelming.
He nodded his head as he said, “I’m doing well, thank you. And how are the lessons going?”
“She’s a smart kid, but you should try to talk to her in Afrikaans a little more often, so she can get some situational practice.” She tucked a loose strand of hair back into her bun. “Oh, and—”
The doorbell rang, and he was certain the confusion on Zolyn’s face was a reflection of his own. “Who the hell? I’ll go get that,” he said, trying to find his feet, while she was already up and holding out a hand to help him. He took it and much more easily found his feet. The close proximity only aided in causing the need in him to kiss her, to grow, and her unwavering response suggested she felt the same.
“Daddy!” Kara called from somewhere in the hallway leading to the door, and he realised he had already forgotten about the doorbell.
“On my way,” he said far too quietly for her to hear.
Before he knew it, Zolyn had closed the gap and her mouth was against his. Her hands had settled on his hips, and he did the same. Time meant nothing as the tender kisses lit a fire through his entire body, awakening feelings he knew would likely consume him.
Beep.
A sound that was meant to ease the worry alerted him that the door had been opened, and in the same second, Zolyn had stepped back and was avoiding eye contact.
“I should—”
“Yeah,” she cut him off, and regret showed its ugly face in every part of her reaction.
He turned and headed for the front door while trying to get the phone alert to quiet down. As he entered the kitchen, Kara, along with Susan, appeared from the entry. Luckily, Kara was oblivious to the look he received as she chatted on with her mother.
“The scarf suits you,” Susan commented on the garment he had forgotten was strewn over his shoulders, when Kara stopped speaking.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, ripping the scarf off.
“Good day, Mrs. Elgin,” the unshaken voice of Zolyn sounded beside him. “I hope you are doing well?” Since she had began teaching Kara, the two had only been in each other’s presence a handful of times, but every time, he noted Zolyn didn’t back down when Susan stared her down.
“Oh, the ugly thing in your hand must be hers. I should’ve known you two were…” She stopped herself and looked down at Kara, clinging to her leg, before looking back at them with a bitter smile plastered on.
“Known what, Mummy?” Kara innocently asked.
“Don’t worry, dear. Are you ready to go? Pieter brought the plane today, so we can leave once you’re ready. We might even hear the lions tonight if we’re quick.” Susan’s kindness was limited to Kara, as her jaded gaze returned to Ben and Zolyn. With Kara rushing toward her room, Susan tilted her head and analysed them. “So you are what, exactly? And are you even teaching my daughter anything, or are you teaching my ex-husband some new tricks?”
“Susan—”
“Don’t you dare question my ability just because of where I’m from,” Zolyn interrupted him. “And even if there were anything going on, you don’t need to know about it, because we’re both smart enough to know that we shouldn’t flaunt it in front of Kara the way you’re clearly doing, so just don’t.” Through gritted teeth, Zolyn stared Susan down, and it was so very wrong to enjoy it, but he couldn’t help the fact that he did. “If you’ll excuse me, I would like to give Kara her lesson to do before I see her again next Wednesday. Please make sure she does it.” The kind teacher persona settled back as she left, and he waited until he heard Kara and Zolyn speaking in the room.
“What are you doing here? You were to pick her up tomorrow, as we agreed,” he enquired, leaning against the wall and eyeing her.
“I just told you, Pieter brought the plane earlier than what we had planned. Surely you wouldn’t want to deny your daughter an extra day at the Kruger?” Her spiteful gaze didn’t waver.
“We’ll discuss this next week,” he said.
“Why are you complaining? You and the teacher can go about uninterrupted sooner than you would have,” she countered.
He very badly wanted to put her in her place for calling him out on something that didn’t fully exist between Zolyn and him, as she was still seeing the man she had cheated with while they were still together.
“Mummy,” Kara began as she left her room, “I’ll teach you some Afrikaans words this weekend. Zo taught me many of the animal names, so I can even call Granny Elgin and tell her what I’m seeing,” Kara announced, carrying a little backpack. “Bye, Daddy,” she said, reaching him.
He crouched down and gave her a hug. “Be good and remember to do your lesson.” She nodded her head and smiled. “Try to call Granny Elgin. She would love to hear what you’ve learned.”
“I promise I’ll try my best!” she said and turned to Zolyn.
“You have your lessons, so remember to enjoy it very much, okay?” Zolyn kindly offered.
“Ja, juffrou,” Kara said yes, teacher with her broken Afrikaans and a big smile.
“Wow, you would definitely be able to teach your mum some words!” Zolyn said enthusiastically, which had Ben smirking, as the innocent-sounding statement held a poisonous innuendo.
“Bye, Zo, I’m gonna miss you!” Kara grabbed onto Zolyn, and the picture was perfect. He only then truly realised how much he wanted more with her, and it broke a small part inside of him.
Kara let Zolyn go and ran back toward him, so he picked her up and gave her a bear hug that had her giggling.
“Be good, okay? The monkeys might act like you, but they aren’t gonna like you stealing their beds,” he joked as he set her down.
She giggled and did a tiny monkey dance.
“Come now, we need to get going,” Susan said with that tilt of her head he once found sweet. “You two enjoy your weekend. Bye,” she added.
Kara began telling her mum names for some of the animals she thought they would see while the two of them headed toward the front door. The door clicked open and closed. Turning, he saw Zolyn about a metre away, seemingly stuck in place.
“I should probably get going,” she said with a chuckle, turning back toward Kara’s room.
He closed the gap and grabbed her hand. Without hesitation, she turned right into his kiss. Their bodies collided, and as his lips slid along her jaw, he nipped at her neck, earning himself a sweet moan of satisfaction. Her fingers were massaging the muscles at his nape and made their way up his scalp. She pulled his face away from her neck and placed her mouth back on his.
Feeling her tongue slither over his lower lip, he teased the tip with his own. She slowly coaxed his tongue into her mouth, and the seduction turned into burning desire. The exhilaration of feeling like a teen having his firs
t kiss, as she had her body tightly pressed against him, was heady.
Before he knew it, it stopped as she pulled her mouth away from his without stepping out of the embrace.
“I can’t do this again,” she pleaded. “I’m sorry.” Only then did she step back.
He took a step back of his own, wanting to give her space, but her eyes showed pain he wasn’t even sure he wanted to know the reason of. “Again? What do you mean?” he asked, feeling rather confused.
“Maybe for you this is just a fling or a one night thing. Maybe you’re an amazing guy and you’d do the dating thing and marrying thing and…well. I can’t,” she said with a quivering lower lip.
“Did someone…hurt—”
“No!” She quickly stopped him. “Nothing like that. I just got hurt by someone who emotionally scarred me.” She closed her eyes. “Why am I telling you this?” She shook her head and held a hand over her eyes.
“Please, I want to understand,” he said.
She moved her hand away from her face and looked at him more seriously.
“And if it gives you a hint at what I’m looking for with you, I wanted to offer making you dinner before the kiss. Platonically, or whatever you prefer.” His cheeky comment had her smiling, but it quickly dissipated back into the sombre look she gave him.
She took a deep breath and nodded her head. “So, as you said, there’s something between us—that’s pretty obvious, but…” She looked down at her knotted fingers. “You have a perfect daughter, and I know we are far from ever being at a point where discussing children is an issue. And we’ll maybe never even get that far, but before we let this become anything at all, I need you to understand that I’m bringing this up because it already once became a problem in a relationship I had.” She took a breath.
“You are unable to have children,” he interrupted her and continued. “It’s why your husband left you two years ago.”
Anger and confusion rose in her eyes, and her disbelief at what he stated showed in her expression.