Adam chuckled. “I’m not watching Steel Magnolias again,” he said as she waved goodbye.
Natalie merely smiled, but her insides vibrated with pent-up anxiety and longing as she walked away.
Levi McPherson was home...and his mail was sure to follow. One way or another she had to keep him from getting those letters.
The eternal question, of course, was...how?
CHAPTER 2
Dear Levi, last night I saw a couple holding hands on the beach and thought of you, my fingers threaded through yours, our lives equally entwined. I could happily hold your hand forever...
“Steel Magnolias?” Levi asked, disturbed that he couldn’t take his eyes on Natalie’s ass as she walked away. Since his sadistic imagination has cast Natalie as his Ms. X, he knew hadn’t gotten past that inappropriate attraction, but this was too much. Every nerve in his body had sung when he’d laid eyes on her. And touching her. Damn. “Do I need to pat her down before she gets to her car?”
“Pat her down for what?”
Levi grinned and waited for their parents to disappear inside the house before responding. “Your balls. You obviously don’t have any if you’ve been watching friggin’ Steel M-magnolias with her,” he said, chuckling under his breath. Damn it was good to see him, Levi thought. Physically, he looked better than Levi had expected. Mentally, though, he wasn’t so sure. There was a strain--a thinness is the skin around his eyes--that alerted him to a deeper seated problem. Understandable, of course, but he knew his brother would hate it.
Adam leaned over and punched him in the arm. “Hey, cut it out. She’s been keeping me company.”
“I saw that. I hope we didn’t interrupt anything.” To his annoyance, a bolt of jealousy landed in his gut at the thought.
His brother’s gaze sharpened, indicating that he’d gone over the line. “You know it’s not like that with me and Natalie. We’re friends. That’s it.” He blew out a breath. “Hell, life would be easier if we were into each other. She gets me, you know? She’s smart. She’s funny. She’s beautiful. She’s pretty damned close to perfect.”
Frankly, Levi couldn’t agree more. And she’d looked especially beautiful today. He’d always loved her long, curly hair. A deep red, it slithered thickly over her slim shoulders and perfectly accented those distinctly unique dark brown eyes. A spattering of freckles dusted over her pert nose, emphasizing her elfin features and her mouth...
Lush, full, raspberry red and bow-shaped, it was the stuff of fantasies.
His.
Adam sighed heavily and shook his head. “But there’s no spark and never has been.” He paused thoughtfully and Levi got the distinct impression his brother was thinking about someone who did inspire a spark. He let go a breath. “Besides, I think she’s in love with someone else.”
His insides twisted uncomfortably. “Really? Who?”
“I couldn’t tell you,” Adam said, somewhat evasively. “She’s never said anything. It’s just an impression that I get.”
Trying to ignore the sudden pounding in his temples, Levi poured himself a glass of his mother’s homemade lemonade and sank onto the porch swing. Because he couldn’t think of anything to say that would result in him looking like a moon-eyed moron, he merely grunted in response.
Honestly, he’d always imagined that at some point Adam and Natalie would ultimately tie the knot. They’d always been extremely affectionate with one another, hugging and such, his brother slinging an arm around her slim shoulders. Granted Adam had maintained that they were just friends for years--and if they were in fact “just friends” then they were the exception to the old men-and-women-can’t-be-just-friends rule--but Levi had always suspected that the relationship would develop into something more. That’s why, aside from the Sabrina debacle, he’d always kept his distance. He inwardly snorted.
He’d be damned before he’d poach on his brother’s turf.
But it had been damned hard.
He’d never forget the first time he’d really noticed her. The first time he’d seen her as more than his brother’s friend. It had been the summer between their senior year and college--Levi’d been a junior at the Citadel--but had come home for a couple of weeks to visit.
Natalie, looking tall and lean and tanned had been wearing a pair of frayed cut-off shorts and a pink tank top, her bikini strings sticking out from the back, and had been helping Adam wash his car. She’d pulled those dark red, sun-kissed curls up into a messy pony tail and she’d been dancing around the driveway to the tune of Guns-N-Roses Sweet Child of Mine. He’d never heard the song again when he hadn’t thought of her.
She’d been...beautiful.
Fresh, sweet and inherently sexy.
And in that instant, when his dick had gone hard and his heart had given an odd little flutter, he’d realized if he wasn’t careful he could fall in love with her. Hell, though Sabrina had been the one to cheat, he had to admit he’d felt a pang of regret for what might have been when he’d seen Natalie at that godforsaken wedding. She’d been a bride’s maid, and had far surpassed the bride.
He grimaced. Hell, that probably should have tipped him off that the idea of marriage was ill-fated. He still didn’t know what the hell he’d been thinking. He was career military and, while some guys seemed to know how to make the wife and family thing work, Levi wasn’t altogether sure he possessed the skill. He’d come home, had panicked because all the guys around him seemed to be moving forward with their lives despite their careers and he’d unwisely proposed for all the wrong reasons.
He wouldn’t make that mistake again.
“Like I said,” Adam continued, picking at the bandage around his leg. “I don’t know who she’s carrying a torch for. But I don’t think it’s anyone who keeps a permanent address in Bethel Bay.” He grimaced and gestured wearily. “Hell, I’m just glad that she’s been here this week.” His jaw worked and he gestured wearily. “Mom glances at me and cries. The General’s trying to keep a stiff upper lip, but can’t look me in the eye. Natalie teared up for a minute when she first saw my leg, but it wasn’t out of pity--it was because she’d missed me.” His determined gaze caught and held Levi’s. “You have no idea how nice that was. I don’t want to be pitied, Levi. I’m still me. Less of me, yes,” he admitted. “But otherwise no different.”
As much as he wanted to believe that, Levi wasn’t so sure. War changed men. You couldn’t live through what they lived through and not see things differently. And sustaining an injury like his... Levi swallowed, guilt weighting his shoulders down. He passed a hand over his face. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
“You weren’t supposed to be there, bro. This shit happens. Am I glad that it happened to me? Hell no. Am I occasionally pissed and feel sorry for myself? Hell yes. But this--“ He smacked his thigh. “--this is not going to define me, you understand? I’m a soldier, by God.” He took a pull from his drink. “Nothing’s going to change that.”
“Mom’s worried about you going back,” Levi told him. And that was putting it mildly. Their mother wanted Adam to medic out, to come home and find an alternate career. He’s young, she’d insisted on the drive home. Maybe in years, Levi would admit. But war aged a man in ways that weren’t readily seen. Thankfully his father understood that and, if Adam still wanted to go back to active duty, wouldn’t try to stand in his way. Being a soldier, it was more than a job. It was a mentality, a way of life.
Meanwhile, he couldn’t help but feel like he’d gotten a free pass home. Though the General hadn’t admitted to pulling any strings, Levi knew that his father had. Given the state of things in the field right now, there was no way in hell the powers that be would have given him leave at the moment.
Was he glad to be home? Oh, hell yes.
Did he regret not being there with his men? Yes to that, too.
Helluva mess, Levi thought, massaging the bridge of his nose. His gaze drifted over his brother’s leg. He’d seen too many mangled soldiers, dammit. “How’s ther
apy?” he asked.
“Tough, but it’s getting easier.”
Thankfully the surgeon who’d performed the surgery had been able to save Adam’s knee, which would make his recovery a bit easier, though admittedly there was nothing easy about what his brother was going through. Hopefully when he got his new state-of-the-art prosthesis, he would clear that final hurdle toward putting his life back into order. He’d had multiple fittings and was merely waiting on the device to be ready. Beyond that it would be up to the powers that be whether or not he went back on the front lines.
Levi raised a brow. “Phantom sensation?”
His brother grimaced. “That’s a pain in the ass,” Adam admitted. “How can something hurt that’s not there anymore?”
Levi had heard more than he’d ever wanted to know about phantom sensation, a condition which affected a lot of amputees. Despite the missing limb, amputees often “felt” pain and sensation from the non-existent limb.
“Supposedly it should get better with time,” Adam said. “I’m hoping that it goes away altogether once I get my prostheses.” He paused and considered him shrewdly. “So what’s this first order of business you were talking about?”
Levi chuckled, unsurprised that Adam had gone back to that subject. He’d never been able to let anything go, the boy didn’t miss a thing and was no small part of the reason he was a kick ass soldier. “I’m going to the post office to set up a temporary box.”
Infuriatingly, a slow, knowing grin slid over Adam’s lips. “Afraid you’ll miss something important?”
To his horror he felt a blush creep up his neck. Him. Blushing. Dubbed “Remington” in reference to his so-called “balls of steel.” He was a damned Ranger, one of the best trained soldiers on the freaking planet. Rangers didn’t blush, dammit. “No. I just don’t want to miss anything.”
Adam laughed. “Correction. You don’t want to miss anything from her.”
Pathetic, but true, Levi admitted to himself. It was ridiculous how important this woman’s letters had become to him. Though he wouldn’t have a lot of time home and needed to spend what little he did have with family, he had every intention of trying to find out who the mysterious Ms. X really was.
He needed to know. Had to know.
Was he attracted to the sexy part of her letters? Hell, yeah. They were graphic and erotic and the picture she painted with words made parts of his body react in ways he wouldn’t have thought possible. This woman wanted him. Genuinely with-every-cell-in-her-body wanted him. He could feel it in every stroke of her pen, read it in every wicked word.
But...it was more than that.
She was funny and open and honest, and there was a familiarity there that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but knew it existed all the same. A connection, if you will. He couldn’t explain his thinking, couldn’t make it form anything which remotely resembled common sense, but he knew in his gut that this girl was...special.
For whatever reason, a vision of Natalie and her softly smiling lips suddenly slipped into his mind. God, she’d felt perfect against him. Hugging her had been a mistake, he realized now. Touching her only made him want to touch her more. Soft, womanly curves. Perfect breasts and more than a handful of ass. Damn, but the woman had a great ass. Full and heart-shaped and unapologetically feminine. And that scent. A ginger citrus? It was vaguely familiar.
“Tracy Cochran is working at the post office now,” Adam told him, a helpful little nugget that immediately made Levi take notice. “She might be able to put a name with a PO Box for you.”
Levi’s startled gaze darted to his brother’s. “That’s against the law, isn’t it?”
Adam shrugged. “This is a small town and you’re a hero. She might be persuaded,” he said, pulling a lazy shrug. “That’s all I’m sayin’.”
He didn’t know about the hero crap, but he and Tracy had been friends in school. More than friends, actually, he thought, remembering a trip to the beach they’d taken together. It was possible that she might be willing to help him out.
“Word of advice,” Adam told him, as though he were about to impart something really important. He winced. “Don’t try to sweet talk her. If the rumors are true, her girlfriend could kick your ass.”
Levi blinked, shock jolting through him. He’d dated Tracy Cochran. “Girlfriend?”
His brother lifted another unconcerned shoulder. “That’s the word on the street.”
Levi frowned, still slightly stunned. “You’ve been busy since you’ve been home.”
Adam smiled at him. “Hell, Levi, this is Bethel Bay. Nothing that’s a secret ever stays a secret for long.”
Exactly, Levi thought as a slow, purposeful smile slid over his lips. That’s precisely what he was betting on.
CHAPTER 3
Dear Levi, have I ever mentioned how much I want to kiss you? How much I want to taste you? How much I want to tangle my tongue around yours and breathe you in?
Winnie Cuthbert--tom-boy, fitness nut, baker extraordinaire and long time best friend--stared at Natalie in unattractive bug-eyed wonder. Icing dripped unnoticed from the pastry bag in her hand, dropping a blob into the middle of a pretty pink rose.
“How could you not tell me about this?” she asked breathlessly. “You wrote sexy letters? To Levi? I-- I--” Smiling, she gestured wordlessly and shook her head. “I’m--“
“--shocked, I know,” Natalie supplied, popping another petite four into her mouth. There were times she could scarcely believe it as well.
Winnie’s Bakery was the best in town and she’d mastered the almond-icing-to-cake ratio to absolute perfection. If heaven had a flavor, it would taste like one of Winnie’s petite fours, Natalie thought, groaning with pleasure. She licked her finger and enjoyed her friend’s stunned reaction. She’d been so busy building her business and becoming a responsible civic-minded adult it had been awhile since she’d shocked anybody. She’d forgotten how much she liked it.
Furthermore, the fact that she could shock Winnie, who’d been her friend since grade school and who’d been privy to each and every one of her secrets since--with this exception of this one--was quite a coup. She and Winnie had shared lunches, shared crushes, shared heartbreak and shared more phone time than was probably physically healthy, Natalie thought with an inward smile. But she couldn’t imagine her life without Winnie.
They had different tastes in music, men and a host of other things, but that would never change the fact that Natalie loved her dearly. Theoretically, were Natalie ever to snap and kill someone--there’d been a few times she’d almost launched herself across the board table at a city council meeting--Winnie would be the person she’d call to help her hide the body. It was an unlikely scenario, but the fact remained that she knew Winnie would always have her back.
“So just how sexy were these letters?” Winnie asked, seemingly still gobsmacked. Her light-blue eyes twinkled with undisguised interest. “R-rated?”
Natalie winced and shook her head.
Winnie’s eyes rounded and she leaned forward and lowered her voice despite the fact that the bakery was empty at the moment, a rare occasion. “X? You’re telling me you wrote X-rated letters to Levi?”
“I told you they were graphic,” Natalie reminded her. She slipped behind the counter and helped herself to a glass of peach tea. “And, until Lacey thoughtfully put the return address stamp on my out-going mail and added the letter to the promo stuff, they were all anonymous.” Her cheeks puffed as she expelled a fatalistic breath. “But not anymore.”
Winnie set the icing bag aside and dusted her hands on her lavender apron. “Maybe he won’t be able to get his mail while he’s home.”
“He’ll make sure that it’s forwarded. Adam told me that Levi’s stuck on finding out exactly who the letter writer is.” She felt a smile roll around her lips. “He’s calling me The Mysterious Ms. X.”
Winnie’s lips twitched. “It has a certain cache.”
Natalie harrumphed. “It’s a
disaster in the making and you know it. I’ve got to get that letter back before he sees it.”
“I wouldn’t call it a disaster, per se,” Winnie countered thoughtfully. Her messy black curls stirred beneath the ceiling fan circling overhead. “More like an opportunity I would think.”
Natalie blinked. “Opportunity? As in opportunity for me to be humiliated beyond words?” Even thinking about the impending moment of truth made a ball of dread the size of a coconut form in the pit of her unceasingly churning belly.
“No,” she said. “An opportunity for you to stop writing him your fantasies and live them out in the flesh.”
She abruptly pushed away from the counter, grabbing Winnie’s toned arm in the process to propel her toward the door. “Okay, let’s go.”
“Go where?”
“To rehab. You’ve obviously started smoking crack.”
Winnie chuckled and dug in her heels. “Natalie, come on. You had to know when you started writing him the letters that he might possibly discover your identity.”
Natalie rolled her eyes and shot her friend an incredulous look. “You know damn well I don’t ever think that far ahead.” She rubbed her temples. “I just-- I just started writing him and he kept writing me back and, and...” it was the closest thing to a relationship she’d ever had or would have with him.
And that was it, Natalie realized. Finding her out would be mortifying as hell, but it was knowing that this unique connection would soon be broken that upset her the most. She’d rather have this fantasy relationship with him than nothing at all.
It was official. She was pathetic.
Winnie made a sympathetic moue of regret. “And you don’t want it to end?”
“Exactly.” She swallowed, trying to make sense of her own feelings. “When he finds out who I am, it’s over, you know? No more letters. No more sharing fantasies or dreams or...anything.” She’d learned so much about him over the past few months, things she’d never imagined that he would confide in her. “It’ll be awkward and weird and things will never be the same.”
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