It was true, they always used a condom. It was also the fact that they’d never had a conversation deeming them exclusive to one another. Kellie had just assumed. Was she a fool?
She settled into the office chair and picked up the blinking line. “This is Kellie Love, how can I help you?”
“I don’t want to talk to you. I want to speak to Alex.” The woman sounded very put-out. No wonder the receptionist had sounded so distressed.
“I’m sorry. He’s not available. But this is Leblanc & Love. I can help you with anything you need.”
“No, sugar, you can’t help me with the sort of things Alex helps me with.”
Well, Kellie couldn’t just come right out and ask the woman if she and Alex were having sex, now could she? “Give me your number and I’ll personally give him the message.”
Adanna recited her number then hung up. Kellie stared at the sticky note on which she’d written it. This was exactly the sort of thing she’d wanted to avoid—Alex acting like a child with too many toys.
And, as if things could get any worse, her period was really late. Like… a couple of weeks late. She hadn’t had the courage to take a pregnancy test.
Just then, Alex knocked on her open door and came in, shutting the door behind him. “I’m sorry, honey.”
“Who’s Adanna?”
“What?”
“Adanna.” Kellie enunciated each syllable. “Who is she to you?”
“Valentine’s makeup artist. She’s close in his entourage. Why?”
“You’re not answering my question. Who is she to you?” She clutched the sticky note in her fingers, crumpling it, but she didn’t care. She had to know.
“She’s someone I fucked once, Kellie. Happy now?”
“When?”
“Before I fucked you. Why the hell are you asking?” He stalked over to her desk and she held the sticky note out to him.
“She called you. Said no one else could help her with the things she wanted from you.”
“Look, I haven’t been with anyone since you, because that’s obviously what you’re asking without coming out and saying so.” He tossed the note in the garbage. “But don’t get any ideas that you have some sort of ownership over me. I care enough about you that I’ll tell you if I want someone else. That’s more than any other woman has gotten from me.”
“I feel so goddamn lucky now, Alex. Really, be still my heart. I’m touched.” Would his harsh words hurt so badly if she weren’t scared witless that she was pregnant? Probably.
Because, turned out, she really had been a fool. The ache in her heart right now told her everything she needed to know—she’d fallen in love with him. And he’d never live up to her expectations. “I’m going out. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She didn’t want him coming over tonight. How long since she’d spent a night without him? Too long, apparently. She grabbed her purse from the drawer and stormed out of the office, blinded by tears.
Chapter Four
The next day, Alex came out of his office around 11:00 a.m. He hadn’t seen Kellie since she left angry yesterday. She’d made it clear she didn’t want to see him that night, and he hated how much he’d missed sinking into her, laying with her, talking and laughing.
He was going to smooth this over, damn it. He’d misspoken, being so harsh with her, and then that woman had called and got Kellie all worked up that he was sleeping around on her. He wouldn’t—couldn’t—do that to her. Shit, he was in deep and if he was smart, he’d get out now.
He’d never been all that bright, he supposed. Outside his office, he found Gayle hard at work. “Gayle, do you know if Kellie is busy?”
“She’s with that Chase Valentine guy. He came in this morning and asked to speak to her. The receptionist told me he said his label was going to drop him and he needed to see Kellie right away.”
What the hell? If Valentine wanted help with his reputation, why wouldn’t he have asked for Alex? Alex was the one who’d worked so hard to sell their services to him.
Alex clenched his jaw, shoving down the blind anger roaring to life inside of him. Because Valentine wanted to fuck Kellie—his Kellie.
He stormed across the hall to David’s office, where Kellie would’ve taken a potential client. Either there or to the conference room. Neither option made him feel any better because Kellie was alone with that letch.
When he turned the knob to the office, he found it locked. Now why in the hell would she have locked the door just to have a simple business meeting? Alex pounded on the door, fury welling inside of him, blooming into a rage.
A moment later, Kellie opened the door and Alex peered inside. Valentine was seated in the chair before her desk.
“I don’t know why that was locked,” she said, frowning.
Valentine gave him a smirk that spoke volumes. He’d locked the door behind them.
So, the man hadn’t just come here for business—he’d also come to try to put the moves on Kellie.
“What the hell is going on here?”
“Work. That’s what the office is for.” Kellie looked at him, her eyebrows drawn in confusion.
Alex stalked in and grabbed Valentine by the collar. “Out.”
“What’s the matter with you, man? I’m trying to give you my business.”
“No. You’re trying to get in her panties, and it’s not going to work.”
Kellie gasped. “Alex! That is so inappropriate.”
He shook Valentine, doing everything within his power not to punch him. “You need us, and you know it. But from here on out, you work with me exclusively or you can take your business elsewhere. Clear?”
“Didn’t realize she was yours, man.” Valentine held up his hands. “We’ve got no problems. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Alex dragged him to the door, unable to form a coherent sentence right now.
Valentine, free of Alex’s grasp, winked at Kellie, then smiled at Alex. “Tomorrow.”
After Valentine had made his way down the hallway, Alex shut and locked the door again. He turned on Kellie. “What were you thinking?”
“That we need the business of someone that big.” Her voice rose to a shout. “What were you thinking?”
“It’s my company, and your father’s. It doesn’t belong to you.”
“I work here now. If a client would prefer to be under my guidance, what’s the problem? Are you saying I’m incompetent?”
Alex ran a hand through his short hair, mussing it. He wanted to take Kellie in his arms, tell her that he cared for her. But he couldn’t do that. “A client that troublesome needs experience and wisdom you don’t have yet. That’s all.”
“Be real with me, Alex. Don’t start lying to me now. You were jealous.”
“I can’t afford to be jealous.”
She rolled her eyes and plopped down in her father’s chair. “Why is that?”
“I can’t get so deeply involved with anyone again.”
“Wait, what are you saying?” She lifted her chin and tilted her head back, taking in a shuddery breath.
“I had a daughter I didn’t know about.” He eased himself down into the chair, no longer seeing the room or Kellie anymore.
“Had?”
“She died in a car accident. That’s why I cashed out ten percent of my stock. I paid for her services, gave her mother a little money to make up for what I would’ve paid over the years in child support.” He laughed, a bitter edge to it. “As if that could make it okay.”
“You said you didn’t know, Alex. That’s not your fault.”
“We’d had an affair, twenty years ago. The only woman, other than you, that I’ve ever been involved with. She didn’t tell me because she knew how I’d react—and she was probably right. I wouldn’t have wanted a child then.”
Kellie bit her bottom lip but stayed silent.
“I won’t ever let anyone down like that again. The only way to do that is to not get involved. And I’m already in so deep with
you, Kellie.”
“I know.” Her voice was fragile. “You need to leave me be now. I have to think.”
Alex stood up. “Did you let Valentine in here to make me jealous? To trap me into a relationship?
Her hand flew to her mouth and she shook her head, vehement. “I would never try to manipulate you. I’m not heartless enough to even try. No matter how it seems, I don’t want you trapped. I don’t want you with me because you think you have no choice.”
Alex studied her. He knew she told the truth. She’d never been anything but honest and open with him. She’d trusted him with everything and he’d gone and screwed everything up.
“Go,” she said. Her eyes were shining, wet with tears. What had he done?
***
When Alex left, Kellie went to the door and shut it behind him. She leaned against it and slid to the floor, unable to stop the tears from spilling out. She had to go get a pregnancy test, to be sure she wasn’t pregnant. And then she’d end things if Alex hadn’t already.
The only way to do that is to not get involved. His words haunted her. If he hadn’t wanted a child before, he wouldn’t want one now.
No. She swiped at her face. This wasn’t a thought she could pursue until she had more information. And she was away from the office. She didn’t want anyone inquiring why she was so upset, and that was if she was lucky enough that no one had heard Alex’s outburst.
Kellie grabbed her purse and dashed to her car. Within minutes, she was at a drug store. She searched the aisles until she found the pregnancy tests, and she brought three different kinds. She’d be damn sure, one way or the other.
At home, she took each test, capped them, and left them sitting on the bathroom counter. Then she phoned her mom. “I need you to come over.”
She’d never tell her parents she’d been involved with Alex—her father would kill him. She’d been too innocent, and Alex older and far more experienced. They’d believe he took advantage of her, which wasn’t even true. He’d been everything she wanted, she thought. She’d forgotten that he was essentially irresponsible. He couldn’t be counted upon when it mattered. He’d proved that to her today.
When Diane arrived, Kellie let her in. “Mom, sit down. I have to tell you something.”
“Is everything okay, Kellie? You’re scaring me, a little.”
“It will be, because I know I’ll have your support, no matter what.”
“Yes, of course, sweetie.” Diane wrapped her arms around her middle and sat down on the couch.
“I got involved with someone. I cared about him… I love him.” Kellie heaved a sigh, fighting back tears. She hadn’t admitted it out loud before now. “It’s over now, but I’m afraid I might be pregnant. He can’t know it’s his. We’ll make up a story about… my meeting someone. It’s very important that no one knows.”
“Who is it? Do I know him?” Her mother searched Kellie’s face. Kellie had never been a good liar, especially when it came to her mother.
“Mom, we’re not going to talk about that. I just want you to hold my hand if I am pregnant. If I’m not, you can hold me, because I’m pretty sure my heart is broken.” Her voice shattered at this, and she couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. He’d accused her of trying to trap him. He’d never believe this pregnancy had been accidental if she were pregnant.
Kellie swiped at her face, drying the tears there. “I’m going to go look at the tests now.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Her mom stood. “Should I go with you?”
“Will you?” Kellie felt like a child again, as if her parents somehow had the magical power to make all things right again. But, this? They couldn’t fix it. No one could.
“Of course.” Hand-in-hand, they walked to the bathroom down the hall. Kellie picked up the first test. “Two lines. That’s positive.”
She picked up the other two. “Two lines and a digital pregnant.”
Dropping the tests in the garbage, she sat down with her back against the tub. “What the hell am I going to do? I’m pregnant and completely on my own.”
“You’re not on your own.” Her mom sat down beside her and wrapped Kellie up in her arms. “You won’t ever be on your own. We’ll go tell Daddy he’s going to be a grandfather. It’ll be a bit of a shock, but then he’ll be excited. Babies are a blessing, Kellie. I promise.”
Kellie closed her eyes, tears streaking down her cheeks, and nodded. She’d love this child enough for two parents. Part of her wondered if it were wrong to once again not allow Alex to be in his child’s life, but his fears of being trapped, of being depended upon answered that question.
***
Alex sat in his office chair, his back to the desk, turned to face the window and look at the lights of the city. He took a drink of vodka and winced. It burned going down, but that he could live with. It reminded him of the first night he’d made love to Kellie and that nearly undid him.
Made love? When had he started using words like that, anyway? He didn’t make love, he fucked. Except… what he’d had with Kellie was more than a fuck. That’s what made this so hard.
But he’d done the right thing, he was sure of it. What mattered was protecting himself. He’d broken his rule about not going back for seconds. He’d been with Kellie nearly every day for the last six weeks. He’d used a condom every damn time, though. Which was good because he was sure she wasn’t on any form of birth control. Why would she have been? She was a virgin.
With a sigh, he remembered the first night he’d taken her to his house. Another non-starter in his book. He didn’t bring women home. He went to their homes or they screwed where he met them. He’d loved the thrill of that, but with Kellie, he’d just wanted privacy.
A small smile lit his face. Except for that day in the dressing room. That had definitely been thrilling for them both. He’d turned her around, pushed her up against the wall, and taken her from behind. And she’d loved it. Despite him having nearly twenty years on her, most women couldn’t keep up with his libido. Even now, just thinking about her muffled cries in the dressing room, he was getting hard. But Kellie was different—she was always open to try anything and could always keep up with him.
They were a matched set. And it wasn’t just the sex, even though it was mind-blowing. They’d enjoyed similar music, restaurants, books. If he mentioned a book she’d never heard of, she got it and read it. And vice versa. She’d really opened him up to new experiences, which he never expected of someone so young.
Fuck. What was he going to do with himself, without her? He was pretty sure he’d fallen in love with her. He’d never loved anyone but himself his whole life. What was he supposed to do about that?
Chapter Five
Kellie woke up the next morning with a headache. After telling her father, he’d insisted she stay with them. She’d wanted to go home, hopeful that Alex would come see her.
She’d gotten her way, but she was so stupid. Alex never showed up, never called; Alex apparently had nothing to say to her.
Then she’d cried herself to sleep last night, which explained the headache. It also explained her appearance when she looked in the mirror. She had puffy, red-rimmed eyes. Her mouth was dry and she stared hard at her stomach for a full minute. There was no way anyone could tell she was pregnant, right?
Maybe she’d say she got pregnant after, and the baby was just early. That was a plausible lie if Alex believed she’d go out and sleep with anyone after their affair. And he might want to believe whatever excused him from any responsibility.
Too bad she’d fallen in love with him. She turned on the shower with a sigh. She planned to call in sick today. Alex would know she was home, heartsick, but that couldn’t be helped. She loved a man who didn’t want to be in a relationship about anything but sex. Him saying that so plainly, even if she hadn’t gotten knocked up, made their affair all but over. Kellie couldn’t continue to sleep with him, to spend time with him, to share experiences with him, all the while falling more and mor
e in love when he didn’t feel anything for her.
It was embarrassing, really. She stepped under the shower and let the steamy hot water sluice over her skin. How many times had they made love here? Or in her bed, on her couch, on the kitchen island, for heaven’s sake?
Everywhere she turned, she was reminded of Alex. How bossy he was in bed, and how generous he was out of it. She’d once told him she wanted an out of print book and he’d called around the whole country until he found a copy, in Boston, and had it sent to her.
She started to cry again, but it didn’t matter. She let the water hit her face and wash them away. He was the man she’d waited for, the one who could make her feel things, be alive, forget everything—and she’d never get to be with him because he didn’t love her back.
***
Alex had lost his mind, he decided, parking in David’s driveway. He had to do something to win Kellie back, to prove that she meant more to him than… well, anything. Including his friendship with David. Because once he told his business partner that he’d fallen in love with his daughter, had an affair with her, and wanted to marry her… well, it wouldn’t be pretty.
He walked up the sidewalk to the door and rang the bell. After a minute, Diane answered. “Oh, Alex. I was hoping it was Kellie.”
“Are you expecting her?” Hope blossomed inside him at the chance to see her again.
“Well, no. Just hoping. Are you here to see David?”
Alex knew David planned to return to work on Monday, so it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility that he might need to discuss some work issues with him. If only that were the reason. But, he could do this. He would do this—he’d do anything for Kellie. “Yes. I need to speak with him about some important matters.”
“Sure. Come on in.” Diane led him deeper into the house. David sat in the living room. It was early, but he and Diane were both dressed and ready for the day. He wondered if he’d caught them getting ready to go out or something. “David, Alex is here to see you.”
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