by Diana Hunter
As she unlocked the door and got in she thought of John in the passenger seat and chuckled. His shoulders were so broad he’d take up most of the interior. With a sigh, she remembered the feel of those hard shoulders against her stomach. Had he really slung her over his shoulder and carried her up the stairs? She remembered that part. Did Mrs. Boorman see him do that? With her luck? Probably.
A quick glance at the clock on her dash told her she had just enough time to stop at her apartment and change into a dress. Maybe he was going to dump her and maybe not. But she’d go down fighting.
John looked at his watch and swore. The traffic ahead of him didn’t move and Lauren would get there, wait for him…and wait for him…and wait for him until she got tired or, worse, thought he’d blown her off and leave. At his side, his cell phone gave a final chirrup as the battery gave up and John swore again.
Lauren glanced at the clock in her car as she drove along the open lanes of the highway. An accident on the other side had traffic backed up for two miles. Glad she didn’t have to deal with that, she got off at the downtown exit and couldn’t believe her luck in getting a parking place right beside the restaurant. Of course, she gave the lot a quick examination out of habit before she reminded herself she didn’t need to do that. No one lay in wait to blow her up.
Turning off the car, she checked her watch. Perfect timing. Using the rearview mirror for a final check of her lipstick, she took a moment to compose herself before getting out of the car. This was the important date. This was the make-or-break time. Putting a smile on her face, she got out of the car and waltzed into the restaurant to find John.
Except he wasn’t there. She scanned the place and saw no sign of those magnificent shoulders. Feeling silly, she retreated outside to wait for him there at the door of the restaurant. A passing policeman gave her the once-over in her somewhat low-cut red dress and sexy sandals and Lauren beat a hasty retreat to her car. Better to wait inside than for the cops to think she was looking for a john. Well, she was, actually. A big John. And did he have a big Johnny to go with those wonderful shoulders? Appalled at the way her thoughts headed, she suppressed a giggle and turned the rearview mirror so she could see his SUV when he pulled in and settled in to wait.
A half hour later she no longer found any cause to giggle. Had he stood her up? She checked her phone. No messages. Maybe she should call him? No, that would sound whiny. “John, I’m downtown waiting for you, are you going to bother showing up?” And that sounded bitchy. Had he planned this all along? Call her up, set up a date to dump her and then get cold feet and not show up? She thought him more of a man than that but cowardice came in many forms. Her stomach growled. Damn. And she really had her heart set on barbecued ribs too.
Making a decision, she got out of the car, locked it and slammed it harder than she meant to. She could damn well eat without him. They did take-out here. She’d place her order, get her food and go home. Where she belonged.
He pulled up just as she exited with her order. John saw her heading to her car and beeped his horn gently to catch her attention. Unfortunately, the manufacturers of his car horn didn’t think along the same lines he did and the horn blared out, the brashness startling even him. She jumped and scooted around to the other side of her vehicle, putting it between the noise and her body. He swore. “Idiot. You know better.”
He didn’t even turn off the engine before he was out of the car with his hands out and open. “Lauren, it’s me. I’m sorry I’m late, I got stuck in traffic and—”
She straightened, plastered a smile on her face and took a deep breath before stepping carefully around the front of her car. He could see her shaking and felt guilty.
“I waited until I was too hungry to wait any more. I caved to the torture of sitting here smelling it.”
“Don’t blame you. I’d have given in too.”
They looked at one another and John realized he’d have to make the first step. He was, after all, the one who’d been late. “Would you mind eating that inside? We could still get a table.”
“You still want to have a date?”
John looked at her, puzzled. “Why wouldn’t I?”
Her guard remained up. “Just making sure.”
Coming to her, he took the take-out package from her hands and gave her a light kiss. “I would very much like to go inside and eat dinner with you.”
Her smile came tenuously, but it came. “It’s a deal.”
She got a table for them while he waited in line and ordered. By the time he got his drink and joined her, all traces of their rough beginning seemed erased and they started with the light banter he so enjoyed from her. He explained about the dead cell phone and the accident on the bypass and she forgave him. They spoke of their day, Lauren telling stories about the people who’d come to the garage sale and John talked about the information he’d found researching the Civil War’s impact on the Rochester area. But then something caught her attention and that haunted look came back into her eyes. He turned to see what she looked at. A man wearing a military cap sat in a wheelchair in line. As the man turned, John saw he’d lost both legs.
“Lauren, it…”
She waved her hand. “Nothing worth talking about. Now, I believe you were telling me something about how sexy hardware stores are?”
John let her steer the subject away from herself again, but knew the time of reckoning drew closer. If he wanted a fling, he wouldn’t care. He’d have wonderful, kinky, glorious sex with her and be done with it.
But he did want more. He liked her. Peeling away her layers intrigued him because the more he peeled, the more he found to like. She loved kids, had a talent with nursing and had a sister. John assumed there was a brother-in-law to go with the sister since there was also a nephew and a niece, but Lauren hadn’t mentioned him other than to say his name was Dave.
Lauren pushed her tray away and sat back, two ribs left on her plate. “That’s it for me, I’m done.”
“Want to take them home?”
“Sure, although I see my two ribs are the only ones left.” She gestured to his empty plate.
“Told you I like my barbecue.”
Lauren boxed up the remains of her dinner. “This’ll be a nice lunch for me tomorrow.”
Out in the parking lot, John slid his arm around her as they maneuvered through the now-full lot.
“Lauren, I don’t want this evening to end yet.”
She looked up at him, the sun’s last rays making him glow like a knight in golden armor. “I don’t want it to end yet either, John.” Her eyes twinkled. Not only had he not broken up with her, he wanted to see more of her. How much more? Feeling daring, she put out her chin and challenged him. “As I recall, you once promised to tie me up and make love to me all night long.”
John stepped closer. “Promises must be kept.”
Lauren turned her face up toward him in challenge. “Yes, they must.”
“Get in the car and drive. Follow me home.”
“Your command is my wish.”
Chapter Seven
They pulled up to a modest, one-and-a-half-story house, the Cape Cod design giving it a very all-American family look. Lauren’s smile deepened to think that he might actually tie her down in a house with such a wholesome façade.
But wasn’t that indicative of her as well? Her own passions burned deep behind the professional face she presented to the world. Her grin turned wry as she realized she no longer practiced her profession. Too many ghosts, too much hurt. She gave herself a mental shake and instead smiled up at him as they walked to the front door.
“Last chance to back out,” he warned her as they went along the curved path to the front door. Low bushes and flowers grew beside the walkway, but the fact registered only dimly in her mind.
“No backing out here. I’m holding you to your word.”
Lauren hadn’t lied when she told him earlier that she counted on his tying her up and making love to her. She didn’t lie no
w. Didn’t matter that she’d never engaged in that kind of kinky sex. Didn’t matter that she’d never really given it a thought before. He’d planted the idea in her mind and she hadn’t been able to get the image out of her head since. It tantalized and teased her with stray thoughts of fear that, instead of paralyzing her, made her tingle in a very delicious way. Oh yeah. She very definitely wanted John McAllen to be a man of his word.
Lauren let him lead her into his small house, part of her wanting to confess everything in her life to him, part of her wary out of habit. A tiny vestibule separated outside from inside, opening into a narrow hallway. John left her in the small area while he switched on a table lamp to his left. The tastefully appointed living room was done up in shades of forest green. A dark patterned area rug set the trim colors for the room with its tan and burgundy. The couch and easy chair matched—solid, forest green fabrics—and picked up the dark green in the narrow stripes of the drapes. A wide-screen TV on the far wall boasted an array of electronics beneath it and Lauren recognized several game consoles among them. He pushed a button and soft jazz wafted through the room.
A wide opening led to the dining room—she could just see the edge of the table from where she stood. Along the short corridor she stood in lay the kitchen, the light over the stove giving off its fluorescent glow. Beside her were two steps to a landing, then the stairway turned to run along the outside wall of the house to the second floor. Other than the living room rug and the one she stood on in the vestibule, the floors were bare and showed off the house’s original hardwood planking. From somewhere came the light scent of a pine forest.
“This house fits you. I can see your hand all over it.”
“Thank you, although I have to admit, my sister helped pick out the furnishings.”
“Not a man to match colors?” she teased.
“Can’t match patterns,” he corrected. “The colors are easy to see. But she laments that I think plaids and stripes go perfectly fine together.”
“Oh dear!” Lauren laughed. “I’m grateful your sister stepped in then!”
John came to her side and his very nearness made her stomach flutter. He towered over her, forcing her to look up. Did he know he made her feel petite and diminutive? His fingers caressed her cheek and she knew he did. She closed her eyes and leaned her cheek on his hand.
John knew there was an elephant in the room and he decided to tackle the topic head on. Before he could take her the way he wanted, there needed to be total trust between them. There were a few issues they needed to get out of the way.
He leaned in as if to kiss her, but murmured instead, “So you’re getting over the fact that I had several tours in the Marines?”
She stiffened and John waited. Taking a deep breath, she glanced at him and nodded. “I’m getting there.”
John couldn’t be deterred. Leading her into the living room, he sat on the couch, waiting until she sat demurely beside him. “You were in the service too. And I saw you with the band. Why the reluctance with dating a military man?”
She shook her head. “I’m… I was trying to put all that behind me. I’ve had enough of the military for a while.”
“So naturally you sing in a bar with a band and bring your nephew to a Civil War reenactment. Because you’ve had enough of the military.”
“Actually, the Civil War thing was an accident. Beth’s a good friend and we decided to take the kids and get away for the day. Ian wanted to go to the museum because it’s one of his favorite places. I didn’t know about the reenactment until we got there, but,” she paused to shrug, “Ian enjoyed it.”
“I’m glad you were there.” When she didn’t say anything, he added, “So is Chuck.”
“Chuck? Oh, your friend with the broken leg.”
“You make a good nurse.”
“That’s behind me now.” Her voice went flat as if there would be no more discussion of this topic.
All his careful peeling only brought him to a layer made of brick. He needed a change in tactics. Sledgehammers brought down walls but tended to break things in the process. He sensed she wanted to talk to him but habit kept the wall in place. Perhaps all Lauren needed was a little nudge?
Lauren sat erect, unsure what John wanted from her. She’d come here to get laid after days of deliberation, and here he sat, bringing up his military service. Hadn’t he gotten it yet? She wasn’t ready to share her past with him.
Or was she? Looking around the comfortable room, she felt again that warm, safe, protected feeling creep over her. John wouldn’t make fun of her—hadn’t he proved that already? Although her defenses rose again out of habit and fear, she felt torn between wanting to fling herself into the safety of his arms and wanting to take the easy way out and run.
As if he could read the warring emotions, John simply watched her a moment then took her hand in his. “Tell me.”
Lauren looked at him, seeing not pity but safety in his look. Her shoulders slumped. She liked him. A lot. She might even have fallen in love with him. He might be the one to run away once he realized how deep her memories scarred her. Yet she had to take the risk. Any man worth having would be a man who could accept her for all her faults.
“I was an Army nurse—career Army. Ever since I was little and watched M*A*S*H on television with my parents, that’s all I wanted to do. I wanted to be like Hot Lips Houlihan and run my own field hospital. My parents, however, did everything in their power to steer me in a different direction. They didn’t want a soldier’s life for their little girl. They wanted me to be like my sister and find a nice man to marry and settle down. At eighteen I wasn’t strong enough to go against them, so I went to college and got a degree in chemistry instead.”
“That must’ve been difficult for you.”
Lauren shook her head and smiled. “Not really. I was in with all the nursing students and, unbeknownst to my parents, I took all my ‘extra’ courses in the heavier nursing subjects. I graduated only a few courses away from getting my RN.”
“At one point you said you went to two different colleges.”
“Actually one college and one university. I graduated from Nazareth, magna cum laude, with no job. I didn’t tell my parents I didn’t have a job because I wasn’t looking for one, I told them there just wasn’t much call for chemists at the moment and that I’d like to go on and get my master’s in the meantime.”
“They bought that?”
Lauren shrugged. “Not really. I finally broke down and told them I really wanted to be a nurse and that I wasn’t that far from getting the degree I really wanted. They weren’t happy, mostly because they don’t see nursing as prestigious as being a chemist, but I finally got them to agree to allow me to live at home with minimal rent while I went through the University of Rochester’s program, graduating with a master of science…in nursing.”
John’s thumb traced over the back of her hand as he held it, giving her a warm feeling of security.
“So,” John prompted, “you got the degree. Did you enlist without their blessing?”
A small shadow passed over her face as she shook her head. “No. I got my degree and was to start a new job at a doctor’s office not too far from home. Not exactly the excitement I’d hoped for, but it was a job and it made my parents happy. Then came the car crash…and suddenly they were gone and it didn’t matter anymore.”
“I’m sorry.”
His soft words spoke volumes of understanding. Lauren looked at him with dry eyes. “Thank you. I’m sure you’ve figured out we didn’t have the best relationship in the world. Annie was the good child, I was the difficult one. Spent a lot of time feeling guilty over that. Then I joined the Army, got sent to Iraq, and didn’t have time for guilt anymore.”
“And yet that guilt is still there.”
Lauren shook her head. “Not really. Sadness, though. I never knew my parents as an adult. I would like to have gotten to know them on a different level and that’s never going to happen. That mak
es me sad sometimes.”
John nodded. “‘When I was a child I spake as a child…’”
“Exactly. They would’ve hated me being away and in danger so much but now that I’m back and safe? I would love to sit and talk away the afternoon and discuss philosophy and religion and politics—all those subjects I shunned before.”
It felt good to tell the story. Up until now, only Beth, Annie and one other knew how much trouble she had with her parents. In the US Army, personal issues were left where they belonged—at home. She’d been trained to do a job that left no room for ruminations of the past or what might have been. Talking to John was far better than talking with the military psychologists. Those people were overworked and underpaid for the problems they had to help soldiers cope with.
John sat quietly listening and Lauren knew he understood even the things she didn’t say. She didn’t need to explain her love of the ideal concerning her service in Iraq. She didn’t need to tell him how much she felt she was helping both Iraqis and American. And British. And Polish. And…so many more.
“So you joined the Army as a nurse but things have changed since the Korean conflict. No more MASH units.”
Lauren’s smile was small, but it was a smile. “Nope. No more MASH. More emphasis on getting the wounded to stationary hospitals that treat a wider range of ailments. I remember one Iraqi kid who came in with an infected finger from a sliver he got sliding into a home base made of a wooden slat. We made a difference in his life because he got to see the helpful side of Americans, not the blowing-up side. Of course, there were also the soldiers and civilians blown up by IEDs. We treated them all.”
She no longer saw John’s living room. Instead she saw the tables of wounded. You could never tell who would make it and who wouldn’t. Two men, side by side with similar wounds—one would go home and live a good life and the other would be dead before the end of the night.
She shuddered and forced the memory away. “What about you? You said you were in the Marines?”