I nodded. “I’ll admit, it does unnerve me, somewhat.”
“Goiki are removed from Garz’a communities when their abilities begin to manifest and sent to the best schools their governments can afford. I’ve been educated by some of the finest minds in the Network, sir. I’ve had to learn to overcome my racial tendencies to shorten my sentences and use as few words as possible to get my message across. Patience is not something my species is renowned for.”
“I didn’t know you were segregated.”
“I don’t like to talk about it, sir. I do intend to speak about your family, however. Hieron Donovan, to be precise.”
I sighed. “What’s he done?”
“He hasn’t done anything, yet.”
“I’m not sure I follow you.”
“He’s not Protectorate,” she said, then held up her hand as I went to speak, “I understand there are a few other crew who are not full Protectorate agents, such as Professor Gaston, but your grandfather appears to be here for no other reason than he was bored. We’re a combat capable ship, sir. That’s no place for a civilian, even one of his experience.”
“Old man Hieron has seen more action than both of us combined. You understand he was an active before the Argessi System was opened, right? He was one of the trailblazers who opened that frontier once the Jump Gate was operational. In that very ship in our hangar bay. He’s here for the same reason you are – advice. I’ve never commanded a ship of this size before. It scares the hell out of me, so much responsibility. He offered to come along on the maiden voyage, watch how I lead and give me feedback. There’s no one else I know more qualified to do that than him.”
“He’s a borderline pirate, with the mannerisms to match. Some of the impressions I get from him are…”
“You read his mind?”
She closed her beak and puffed air out again. “You have to understand – I either have to work real hard to make these abilities work, or they come and go as they please. I have sporadic bursts of insight into what people near me are thinking. I try my best to respect people’s privacy, and I never – ever – mention what I sense to others.”
“Isn’t that what you’re doing now?”
“Sir, I just wanted you to know what I had picked up. I also wanted to make sure you were not bringing him along just because you missed your family.”
“No, Lieutenant. I did not bring him along because I felt like it. He serves a purpose. Does that meet with our approval?”
“I…sir, it’s my job to make sure you follow Protectorate policy. I don’t mean to insult your family or to disrespect you…”
“Look. I think I understand. You didn’t ask to be here, but you have a strong sense of duty – you’re just trying to do your job to the best of your abilities. Am I right?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I didn’t ask to be here either. I just know what’s out there, beyond the Network. I also have a sense of duty, I’m just not as formal as you are. Hieron is the same. So is Maxine. You’ll find that I surround myself with like-minded people – we’re not afraid to get our hands dirty and we don’t let formalities stop us from blowing off some steam from time to time. You should hear some of the banter we used to get up to on the Dreaming of Atmosphere.”
“It’s not the informality that has me so put off, it’s the…I don’t know what it is,” she gave me a frustrated look. “Why do none of your people act like they’re on an important mission for the Protectorate? For the Network!”
I laughed. “You haven’t worked with a lot of people before, have you?”
“No, sir. Telepaths tend to be relatively solitary in their work. For obvious reasons.”
“Oh, yeah I suppose that is a good reason.”
“It’s very hard to be around so many people undergoing immense emotional turmoil for prolonged periods of time and not pick up on it. I guess I’m reciprocating.”
“You…are having emotional problems…because people around you are feeling strong emotions?”
“I think so. I’m not normally this out of sorts. I don’t know which emotions are mine and which emotions are the people’s standing about me. I’m concerned that when we go into combat…”
“You’ve never been in combat before?”
“No, sir.”
I sighed. How did I feel the first time I went into combat? I had to think real hard about it. I was scared, that much I remember. That fear never really leaves you, you just learn to use it. You steel yourself against it, use it as a source of motivation.
I suddenly noticed a shift in the way Reza’k held herself. She looked me up and down and took a step back.
“What?” I said.
“You just…you just let a wave a fear wash over you. Like…like water over a stone. I felt that.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. The concern that I was feeling just now…it just evaporated. I feel rather foolish now.”
“You were picking up on my emotions?”
“Your confidence. You’ve…faced a lot of danger in your life?”
I grunted. “You could say that. I’ll admit, I do have a tendency to put myself out there. Let’s just say that life can get very hectic around me.”
She nodded to herself. “I’m sorry to have bothered you, sir. I will try and get my emotions, and my abilities, under better control in the future.”
She turned to leave, but I lightly grabbed her arm. She turned back to face me. “You don’t have to be so uptight. We may be spending a lot of time together on this ship. I’d prefer it if everyone was on more friendly terms, rather than keeping so formal.”
“I’m…not so sure I can do that. But, I will try, Commander. If you’ll excuse me, I have reports to finish.”
I let her leave, pondering her words. I could only imagine the kind of turmoil she must be in, all the random emotions that she can ‘read’ from other people. When we got into combat…I decided I’d have to watch her. I could not afford liabilities, not now.
37.
We were underway, at last, but I still felt an uneasy tension. I put it down to the size of the ship – it had too many moving parts, metaphorically and literally. I felt like I was masquerading as a Commander, I didn’t really belong in command and I was faking it. I worried that I was right – that I was about to lead several hundred people to their deaths on a foolish errand.
I retreated from the bridge to an adjacent office set aside for my use and sat quietly in the dark for some time to think. We had a few hours before the first moon came into range, so I knew I was not needed on the bridge. As if sensing my unease, a chime at the hatch woke me from my brooding. I sent a command to the compartment AI to allow them entry.
In walked Fel’negr and Crege, nodding in greeting and seating themselves opposite my desk. They sat in silence and regarded me.
“What is it?” I asked.
Crege shrugged, while Fel spoke. “We figured you might want some company.”
“Did you now?”
“Woman on bridge,” said Crege, thumbing the hatch behind him, “Says you been pacing.”
“Martine put you up to this?” I asked.
Fel nodded. “You humans do tend to do a lot of pacing while you’re thinking, or brooding.”
“Or getting angry,” said Crege.
“Or impatient.”
“Or nervous.”
I held up my hands. “Okay, okay. I get it. I’ve been pacing on the bridge.”
“Having second thoughts?” said Fel.
“That’s normal, right? I’m putting lives at stake…”
“Is good plan. Warrior approves,” said Crege, punching his fist, “Strike like galab!”
“Is this the right course of action?” I said.
“Our doubts are traitors,” quoted Fel, “and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
“Kitrak does not put his people at risk beyond what kitrak would be willing to do himself. Always remember, cre
w chose to follow you. For good reason. Warrior’s only regret is that you will not fly with us again soon.”
I smiled at my friends. “I miss flying with you guys, too.”
Fel shared my smile. “The banter is a little light in the command module without you around. Melafenaseance’s humour is somewhat dry, and unrefined at the same time.”
“I never really stopped and asked what you guys thought of me taking command of the Restitution. I’m sorry.”
Crege waved dismissively at me, making a grunting noise. “Kitrak’s path is his own. Warrior proud to have fought beside you for so long. No regrets there.”
“None,” said Fel, nodding.
We sat in silence for a few moments before I spoke again. “How is the Dreaming these days? How are the upgrades?”
“Old man Hieron approves. Every time he comes on board and runs his hands lovingly over the fittings and consoles, Max gets nervous that he’s going to ask for her back.”
I laughed. “She’d give it to him, too. How did Max afford the Class 1 system? I thought we were almost broke.”
“Lieutenant…sorry, Sub-Commander Ormund offered her the use of some of his family contacts. Low-interest loan, very doable payments. Nothing like ship shares. Should have it balanced after a few jobs.”
“Or once we come back from the nebula with survey data,” I said.
“A very lucrative plan,” said Fel, “Some good thinking, I might add.”
“Will kitrak be riding with warrior then?” asked Crege.
“I think so, yeah,” I said, nodding, “Will be like old times.”
There was another chime at the hatch, which I acknowledged. The hatch opened and Alexander strode in. I could tell by his body language that he was not happy.
“Lieutenant Cohen! What can I do for you?” I said, intrigued.
“Sir! I request permission to join the marine squad deploying on the Blade of Xerxes!”
“I…Kekkin didn’t pick you for his squads?” I said.
“No, sir. Just found out. I asked why and he said to ask you.”
“He did?” I looked at Crege and Fel, they shrugged. No help there. “Okay, why don’t you tell me why you think he didn’t pick you?”
“Sir?”
“Tell me what you think.”
“Well…it’s because of my age! He thinks I’m inexperienced. He…”
“He saw you fighting, he saw you leading on Ambrose Station. I don’t think that’s why. Try again.”
He screwed his face up and stared at his feet. “I haven’t spent much time EVA, or using my new equipment?”
“You have just as much experience as the other squad leaders, don’t you think?”
“I suppose so.”
“So what else could it be?”
I could see he was thinking hard. “I’m not sure, sir.”
“How’s the overlay interface proto-chip?”
“It’s…nearly old enough to connect. The headaches have stopped.”
“Right. So you don’t have a fully functional overlay at the moment. Perhaps that would be it?”
“There are other troopers without fully grown proto-chips.”
“And were any of those chosen for Kekkin’s squads?”
He thought for a moment. “I…I’m not sure.”
“How would you coordinate troops you didn’t have line-of-sight to? Corridors on ships can be awfully short and bendy. What if the other squad leaders are killed during the engagement, and you’re the highest ranked marine left? How will your battlenet implant work?”
Crege chuffed. “How will human open doors without latches?”
“Or operate computerised subsystems?” offered Fel.
“I always made do on Ambrose,” said Alex, but I could tell his heart was not in it.
“Most of that station was deactivated,” I said, “Or never had been powered on to begin with. Don’t worry, Alex, you’ll only have to wait a few more weeks before you’re due to connect.”
“But I’ll miss the action!”
“Being a soldier isn’t always about the action. Besides, Kekkin has informed me that you’ve been given a very important role, regardless.”
“He’s put me in charge of the remaining forces in reserve on the Restitution.”
“That’s a pretty vital role, especially if the assault goes sour. You may very well end up leading the marine embarkation.”
“Warrior has heard human fights like garz’a,” said Crege, “Would be honoured to teach lurzak style.”
Alexander smiled for the first time. “No thanks, I prefer my fighting done over long distances.”
“Not a lot of opportunity for that in shipboard combat,” said Fel, “I’ve been told.”
“Speaking of which,” said Crege, turning to me with a grin, “We have more than enough time for a spar before we launch the Dreaming. Been too long since warrior put human in his place.”
“That’s…actually a very good idea. I need to know if I’m rusty after all these months.”
Crege gave me a sheepish look. “Warrior probably is too.”
“How’s the leg?”
“Little human said fully healed. Been practising forms alone since.”
“Well, give me fifteen minutes to get out of my uniform and into some slacks. Er…” I paused halfway out of my seat and winced, “Would someone mind telling me where the gymnasium is?”
“Why bother? Come to Dreaming. Be like old times.”
True to his word, when later I walked up the rear loading ramp into the aft hold of the old ship, a lump caught in my throat. I slowed my pace and took in the nostalgia, really looked around and savoured the moment. The familiar smells, the familiar sight. The random cargo crates in disarray. One day, someone will actually clean up in there.
I remembered my duel with Kekkin, on the Astral Spider, and thought that it was just as well that Crege had suggested the forward hold on the Dreaming. I just wanted a friendly spar, sans cheering crowds and jeering fans.
Crege was already waiting for me, but he was not alone. Kekkin, Max, Fel, Harris and, Renthal had all gathered, seated on crates nearby talking quietly. The Votus, Melafenaseance, was leaving the small armoury as I entered the hold. As I got closer, I also saw Cuts and the two Argen off to one side. I slowed down as they all stopped talking and looked my way.
“What’s going?” I said, “Why do I get the feeling I’ve been set up?”
“Wouldn’t get many more moments like this,” said a familiar voice behind me, “So might as well get you down here before the fireworks start.”
I smiled slyly as my grandfather followed me into the hold. He was carrying a bundle wrapped in cloth.
“Someone going to tell me what this is about?”
“Zoe told us,” said Max, “before we left Collumus. Congratulations!”
“Oh,” I said, grinning from ear to ear as she pulled a bottle of smoky liquid from a crate at her feet, “I don’t think drinking while on duty fits the Protectorate guidelines.”
“You don’t remember our agreement?” she said, popping the lid and gesturing for a tray of glasses that Renthal somehow materialised from nowhere.
“What agreement?” I said.
“When you’re on the Dreaming, I’m in charge. Drink up, Donny.”
She handed me a glass and splashed a measure liberally about the remainder of the tray. When everyone had a drink, Hieron cleared his throat.
“You’ve had a rough couple of years, lad. I’ll give you that. You’ve turned out all right, regardless. Even better, you’ve snagged a bright and intelligent woman to boot, so things haven’t been all doom and gloom. Behind every Donovan, there’s always been a strong woman…”
“Or several in your case, old man,” I said, eliciting a round of chuckles from the crew.
“Okay, okay. There’s always been at least one strong woman behind every Donovan. They haven’t all been in our best interests, but they’ve made us who we are. Zoe may be you
ng, but she’s got plenty of potential. She’ll make a fine partner to you I’m sure.”
“To Zoe!” called out Harris, swiftly echoed by Renthal. The others joined suit and we drank. The liquor burned down my throat but sat warmly in my belly. Fel’s face went red, and the two Argen politely sipped. Alcoholic beverages didn’t sit well with their physiology.
“When we found out,” continued Hieron, “We all went on a mad hunt for a gift before we launched.”
I held up my hands, muttering how unnecessary the gesture was, as he handed me the rolled up bundle of cloth. I unwound it, revealing a shining, mirror-polished lurzak blade, with a decorated grip. It was stunning. I held it up before me and marvelled at it, noting as the light caught it, that the blade was actually translucent.
“What is this material?” I said in awe, “I can see through it!”
“It’s called enhanced graphene,” said Renthal, “With nano weave circuitry along the blade. Comes with an overlay app that maps your moves and the position of the blade to assist with low light combat.”
“Kitrak has earned it,” said Kekkin, pride on his face.
I flicked it around a few times, testing its balance. “It’s incredibly light.”
“Just don’t try and shave with it,” said Harris, “It’s got a monofilament edge.”
“Self-sharpening,” said Renthal, nodding sagely.
“I don’t know what to say, guys,” I said, “I’m in awe of this gift.”
“I’d say let’s hope you won’t ever need it,” said Max, “But we all know how often you get into trouble. At least now we know you’ll have the best equipment money can buy.”
“How much was this?” I asked.
“You don’t want to know,” she said, grinning, “The old man chipped in.”
Hieron clapped me on the shoulder, “Feels good to be spending money on someone other than my wife. By the way, get used to doing that.”
Max playfully jabbed him in the ribs and threw an arm around him, dragging him away. “Come on, old man. Let’s finish this bottle while the kids play with their new toys.”
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