Patrick was quiet for a minute, and I knew that was a really bad sign. Patrick was never quiet, and he never had an issue with telling me exactly what he was thinking. One time when I’d used my fake ID and we went out drinking, Patrick told me I looked like I was twelve because the dress I had on was too childish. Sure enough, we got turned away at the club door, and my identification was confiscated as a fake. Another time, I’d been dancing with this dude who I liked, and Patrick told me he was married. I argued that he couldn’t tell such a thing by looking at someone, but sure enough, the guy ended up being married. Basically, I knew Patrick had something he wanted to say to me and was biting his tongue instead of saying it.
“Come on, just tell me. What do you want to say?” I urged him.
“You know I love you. I’d never say anything to hurt your feelings, and this is coming from a place of total love,” he said as he paused again. “You’re acting like a slut.”
“Patrick!”
“I’m not saying you are a slut. I know you aren’t. But what kind of self—respecting woman chases after a guy and basically accosts him like that? Why not let him chase after you?”
“Because he won’t chase after me. He’s not that kind of guy. He’ll just keep going about his busy life and not show any interest at all.”
“Well…” Patrick started to say and then stopped himself.
“Well, what?”
“Maybe he’s not really interested in you then.”
Patrick’s words hit me hard, and I sat up in my bed as I tried to come to terms with what he was saying. I wasn’t acting like a slut. I was just teasing Jason. He obviously wanted me and was just saying no because of my father. There was no other reason for him to deny his attraction to me.
“He is too interested,” I protested.
“Anna, don’t you want a guy who will do anything to have you? Who will go out of his way to make you feel special? This guy won’t even give you the time of day.”
“That’s not true. We talk all the time. He is just in the middle of a business deal, and it involves my dad, so he’s keeping his distance.”
“I wish you’d back off a little and see what he does. If he wanted you, he’d come after you and let you know it.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. When this deal with my father is over with, I know he’s going to be asking me out. Like a real date and everything. And I know he likes it when I flirt with him. He smiles and laughs and can’t keep his eyes off me.”
“I’m sorry if I sounded harsh. I just want you to find that fairytale man for your first time. You deserve that.”
“Well, you don’t know him like I do. Anyways, I better go. I have to help my mom with cleaning up. I’ll talk to you later,” I said curtly and hung up without giving Patrick time to respond.
Patrick meant well. If there was anything in life that I was sure of, it was his intent. I wasn’t angry with him. I just didn’t like the idea of looking at the situation from his perspective. Never had I thought I was throwing myself at Jason. Instead, I was seducing him and teasing him so he couldn’t refuse me.
Jason wasn’t saying no to me because he didn’t want me—that wasn’t it at all. I might have been inexperienced in sex, but I knew men, and Jason wanted me. It wasn’t something I could explain to Patrick, but I knew Jason wanted me just as badly as I wanted him.
The way his hands grabbed my ass, that wasn’t the grip of a man who was being forced into anything. Sure, I’d been a little more aggressive than I probably should have, and I was going to back off a little when I saw Jason the next time. I wasn’t going to be one of those girls who kept throwing herself at a man who didn’t make any effort to go after her. Patrick was one hundred percent right about that. I deserved a guy who couldn’t resist me and wanted nothing else in the world than to be with me.
But, I didn’t want Jason to think I was a cheap girl who didn’t respect herself and perhaps throwing myself at him wasn’t the best way to show him I liked him. Then again, I hadn’t even had a regular boyfriend yet, so I really didn’t know what I was doing when it came to Jason. I acted like I had all the answers, but the truth was, I was just pretending because it was easier than being vulnerable and honest with people.
“Your father is going to be home at six o’clock. Do you want to help me get the grill going so he can cook?” my mother said from the bottom of the stairs.
I jumped out of bed and sat on the top step as I looked down at my beautiful mother. I was the spitting image of her with blonde hair and blue eyes and a petite frame. My mother and I could wear some of the same clothing, and if we did our hair the same, we practically looked like sisters.
“Mom, what is the purpose of getting all the food prepared and ready, but then waiting for Dad to come home to grill it? I can just grill it and have everything ready for when he gets home.”
“Oh, no! Your dad likes to do the grilling. We can’t touch the grill.”
“Are you serious? Is this the eighteen-hundreds and women can’t touch the grill?”
“Anna, I’m a happily married woman who knows that her husband really enjoys his grill and takes pride in making his family food on it. That’s part of being in a relationship—sometimes you do things purely because it makes the other person happy. Now come help me already.”
“Fine, fine, but someday I’m going to get my hands on that grill,” I joked as I came downstairs to help my mother get dinner ready, or semi—ready since we had to wait for Dad to come home to actually start the grilling.
She pulled the hamburger meat out of the fridge and all the extra ingredients she liked to put into the patties. My mom was a little fanatical about her cooking and added chia seeds and other antioxidants to just about everything. She insisted that we couldn’t tell the difference in the taste, and all her extra ingredients made us healthier. My father and I learned a long time ago not to question Mom’s ideas around the super foods she wanted us to eat.
“So, how are you?” Mom asked as she tried to weasel in some typical Mom questions while we worked.
“I’m good.”
“How’s Lilli doing? Did she run off with that man?”
“Yeah, and she says she’s in love.” I laughed.
“Well, love is a sneaky creature. You never know when it will bite you,” she said under her breath as she kept squishing the meat with her hands to work in the ingredients.
“Yeah, well I wouldn’t know anything about love.”
“Oh, honey. Someday you’ll find a boy that knocks your socks off.”
“That sounds dirty, Mom.” I laughed.
“You know what? I don’t care.” She giggled, and her face totally turned red. “You’re an adult now. We can talk about naked stuff.”
“Oh, God, Mom. No, we cannot.”
I refused to look at her and moved to the other side of the kitchen while I cut up the tomatoes and onions for our burgers. There was absolutely no way I was talking about sex with my mother. It had been nearly eight years since the dreaded ‘you’re a woman now’ talk, and I was still traumatized from that.
“Have you had sex yet?” my mother blurted out.
“Mom, I swear to God, I’m not having this conversation with you.”
“Because I know you haven’t had a steady boyfriend, but girls are having sex, and I want you to know you can talk to me about anything.”
“Mom!”
“I’m serious. We can talk about the oral sex. Or the anal, I’m ready. We can talk about any of it.”
“I’m going to die right here. Please stop talking, Mom.”
“Okay, but you know I’m here for you whenever you want to talk.”
“Please, someone save me,” I mumbled as I put my head into my hands.
“I’m here to save you,” I heard my father say from the other side of the kitchen. “What do you need saving from?”
“Nothing,” I hurriedly said before my mother could announce what we had been talking ab
out. “We have the food ready so you can grill. I was wondering if you would show me how to use the grill?”
I had never offered to help with grilling before, but I was desperate to get out of the kitchen and away from my mother and her questions. The pure fact that she had uttered the word ‘anal’ was too much for my mind to handle. No child should be subjected to hearing that from their own parent.
“Not today honey,” my father said as he kissed me on the forehead. “Maybe next time.”
“Please Daddy, I’d really like to learn,” I lied.
“Fine, you can come watch, but that’s it.”
“Deal,” I said excitedly and grabbed the platter of meat.
I hurried outside so fast that I nearly tripped over my own feet. My Dad was behind me though, and as we stood in front of the grill, I knew my mother hadn’t told him what we were talking about. He looked at me sweetly and gave me a big hug as he started the gas grill.
“This is nice. We haven’t spent much time together lately.”
“I know, Daddy,” I said as I hugged him.
My father was the kindest man I knew. He was the best father to me and my brothers and a pretty damn good husband to our mother as well. The only downfall I could ever see was his dedication to his job. For many people, they wouldn’t see work dedication as a downfall at all, but for my father, it was his first family, and we were left to be his second family. He traveled constantly growing up and was still doing that. At least as we grew older he was able to bring my mother with him so they got more time together, but growing up there had been a constant emptiness in our house.
“So, what’s new with you? Have you decided what you’d like to do with yourself yet?”
“No, Daddy.” I laughed. “But I did talk with our neighbor, what was his name again?”
“Jason Hartley, I’m actually working with him now to help our company out. Don’t tell your mother, but if this deal goes well, I should be able to retire with a sizable bonus.”
“Really? Why not just retire now?”
“I’d like to make sure the company is okay when I leave. Jason’s company is the best at helping people reorganize so they can stay profitable.”
“So, they are buying your company?” I asked, a little confused.
“Not exactly. They are investing in us and helping to make some changes. Then we will be more profitable, and they will get a percentage of that profit. It’s a win, win for everyone involved.”
“Ahh, I bet that takes a lot of hard work. That’s probably why Jason was hiring an assistant.”
“Yeah, it’s a tremendous amount of work. I don’t know how he ever gets to spend time with his son.”
This was my moment, I felt it. Over the years, I’d learned how to test my father and find just the right moment to ask for what I wanted. It was a gift that I’d been given being his only daughter and the youngest child. My brothers got the benefit of our father pretty much giving them any car they wanted and paying for their extravagant lifestyles. He never questioned their love life and certainly didn’t care what they decided to study when they went off to college, but he cared about all those things for me.
I was my father’s sweet little girl, even if I was anything but sweet. No one could ever tell my father that I wasn’t an innocent darling girl – he just wouldn’t hear of it. He trusted me to be home alone while he and my mother traveled. He gave me a credit card to use for expenses and a nice BMW to drive. I was spoiled; there was no question about it. But I still didn’t get everything I wanted. Sometimes I had to deploy a high level of sucking up to get what I wanted.
“I actually asked him if I could apply to be his assistant,” I said as I turned away from my father.
Even with my skills at persuasion, I still couldn’t look him in the eyes when I lied to him.
“Oh, well that sounds like a nice idea. But I didn’t think you were interested in a business career.”
“You know I was actually thinking I might go to school and get my MBA or something like that. I mean I could always run a business that interested me, but building a solid background would be helpful before I started something.”
I’d just given my father the present he’d been dreaming about for years. In one quick moment, I’d said I wanted to be a businesswoman and that I wanted to get a Master’s degree. My father had harped on every single one of us children about the importance of a graduate degree in the current marketplace. Of course, none of my brothers had probably even heard him. I had heard him but never actually considered a degree in business.
“What did Jason say about you working for him?” my father said excitedly as he put his spatula down and focused on me for a minute.
“Oh, he said it wouldn’t work. He didn’t think you’d be okay with it. You know, since you two are working together and all. It’s okay, I’m sure I can get experience somewhere else.”
“So, before you said you still didn’t know what you wanted, was that because he said no to you? And you are giving up on the idea?”
“Yeah, he wasn’t all that nice about it. I don’t think he has many women working with him. He’s probably one of those guys who doesn’t think a woman can understand his business. He implied he was interviewing mostly men who were in college for business degrees.”
It was a lie, a blatant lie. Jason had never said a single thing to me about women and their ability to do his job. But my father was a huge proponent of women and always told me I could literally be anything I wanted. I was manipulating him and molding him so he would go to bat for me with Jason. It was horrible, and I even felt a little bad about the lie, but if I got to work with Jason, it was all going to be worth it.
“Really? He said that? I’ve known Jason for a while. He never struck me as that type of a guy.”
“Yeah, well, I’ll check out some other companies. It’s no big deal. It was just an idea so I could get some experience and references to apply to school.”
“Let me talk to him. I’ve got a meeting with him in a couple of days. I’ll see if I have any pull with him and this assistant position.”
“Oh, Daddy, don’t make a big deal out of it.”
“It’s no big deal. Maybe he’s got someone already lined up. I’ll just check in with him.”
“Thanks, Daddy,” I said as I gave him a big hug.
“This is really exciting, Anna. I think you’d make a great businesswoman. You’re such a smart young lady,” my father said as he held me tightly.
“I hope your deal works out well, and you get to retire.”
“It’s not just retiring. I really could use the payout money, and I want to know that the company is going to thrive. I’ve worked my whole life helping to build this organization. I’m not just the CFO—I’m like a father to the people who work there. I have to make sure they are taken care of before I leave. I can’t leave them a company that would sell off the pieces and fire the staff.”
That was my father. He wanted to retire, but his first family was so important to him that he was going to stick around and make sure they were alright. When I was younger, I could have gotten myself pretty worked up over my father pledging his allegiance to his work family, but I was old enough to understand there was nothing I could change about my father at this point in his life.
Chapter 3
Jason
“It’s finally the big day, dude. Are you excited?” Kevin said as he stood in the doorway to my office.
“Contract day is always my favorite. Everyone is hyped up on adrenaline and trying to negotiate what they want. I feel like I can practically touch the tension with my hands.”
Signing a contract to go into business with another company was huge. We were basically buying out The Cook, Sparser, and Conner Building Company debts. If things went poorly, we could go bankrupt in a matter of months. But if our business expertise and knowledge of the current markets worked in our favor, then we could turn this company around and walk away with millions of dolla
rs in our pockets. It was worth the gamble.
The truth was that any one of our business deals could have bankrupted us. It was only because of our team of employees that researched the market and did an in—depth analysis of the company that we were able to make the deals we did. I couldn’t have made all the decisions myself, and neither could Kevin, so our team worked together and trusted each other’s opinions.
If one employee came to me and said a company was a bad purchase, I trusted them enough to make sure we researched and analyzed what their concern was. With Edward Cook’s company, the biggest concern was their lack of diversification. They dealt with high—rise buildings almost exclusively. This meant that they weren’t able to expand outside of the Chicago area at all unless they wanted to push other large building organizations out of the cities they claimed as their own. This was a possible option for the company, but Kevin and I saw another possible option as well. Our vision was to stay local but expand into other commercial buildings.
A rename of the company was also in order. Cook, Sparser, and Conner Building Company was long and confusing. Although people in the high—rise business knew who they were, no one else did. My goal was to add a few different divisions for a housing group, a warehouse group, etc. and use their expertise to continue building in the Illinois area. It was going to take a lot of work. We were going to have to hire a huge marketing team and probably bid on thousands of upcoming jobs, but it was possible to turn this company around, and I knew it.
“Edward Cook is here to see you,” the front desk secretary said over the speaker on my desk.
“He’s probably here to shoot you for feeling up his daughter’s butt.” Kevin laughed as he left and went to his office.
My heart pounded at his words, even though I didn’t believe that was why Edward had come to see me an hour before our meeting. I quickly picked up my messy office by grabbing things and throwing them under my desk. Cleanliness was certainly not something I valued in the workplace.
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