fiX - A ParaBnormal Fairy Tale

by Michael Golvach

  “Yeah, true. Hold tight. I’m sending everyone. We’ll meet halfway and take that fuckin’ town back to the dark ages where it belongs.”

  “Everyone? You sure?” Richard asked. “I’m telling you it’s not that bad. Junie’s all hopped up on something worse than the dope, Paulie. She says there’s monsters and aliens from outer space that want her dead too. And, speaking of Franky, even he’s made an appearance there.”

  “What the fuck...? I mean... No. I’ll be there too. I’ve got to see this shit. An entire town storming the house is worth the price of admission alone. And... what? Cannibals? Monsters? Space aliens? Dead cops? Any of those, some combination of the four or no. I’m coming. With everybody. It sounds fuckin’ epic.”

  David began saying something about the drug syndicate being delayed by seven minutes when the phone rang again. Juno ran to answer it.

  “Walk outside with me,” David said to Cadence. “We need to talk.” She followed him out the door hesitantly, and he closed it behind them. Juno looked out as she began talking on the phone, making obscene gestures. Questioning David’s actions and asking him to move a little faster at the same time.

  “What is it, David?” Cadence asked, still trying to calm herself. Trembling. “Is something the matter? Do you think less of me? Because of my confession? I only told you because it was the truth, and you wished to know. I felt obligated to say, and I thought you deserved to know. I swear I would have told you, eventually. But I understood what you meant. We don’t have much time.” Her eyes teared up again. “Or was it because of our past? The way I falsified your life so that I could look over you? Or that I hurt you? Did I ruin everything?” Tears began pouring down her cheeks as she looked away, sniffling. Fighting to form the words as David began rubbing her shoulders. “I understand your decision. I can’t expect your forgiveness. I was foolish. I know. It’s not an excuse. I’m, just... I really am so sorry. I never meant to—”

  David took Cadence in his arms and kissed her. Fully. Deeply. Silencing her apology was a nice side effect.

  “Cadence.” He brushed the hair back from her face and dried her tears with his fingers. “I don’t mean for this to sound heartless, but, please, silence your doubts for a moment. Clear your head and listen to what I’m feeling. You’ve got it all confused and—”

  “I don’t know that I can, David. Not right now. Just say to me what you need to say. Please?”

  David nodded. “Although I know for a fact that you weren’t lying, and it will probably seem strange to anyone who heard. Wrong, perhaps. You were no more my mother than you’re the body you present to me now. Though it’s... Thank you for letting me have at least a halfway decent childhood before you left me. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d have grown up knowing what you just told me. Though I remember it all now, like you’d never distorted that part of my life, it doesn’t hurt so much. And it doesn’t come as a surprise. I was aware of what my mother was. Even as a child. But losing her that way... At that age... Seeing that would have surely destroyed me. No matter how wrong you think what you did to me was, you actually... probably saved my life. Like you said, what you did. The Big Guy must have accounted for it.” He ran his fingers through her hair again and placed his hands in hers. “And, though it feels strange to say to my stand-in mom: Kiss me. Again. Just to be sure.”

  She looked into his eyes, questioning, and felt him brush her hands with his fingers. She continued to fix his gaze as she dropped to her knees. “I pledge myself to you, David.” She kissed the palms of his hands, twelve times for each, looking up at him when she finished.

  He helped her back up and she placed his hands on her cheeks. “I don’t know if this is what you meant by ‘speaking my devotion’, but this is the best I know right now: I’ve loved you since the moment I first saw you. The first time, I mean. And I never want to lose you. Not again. I pledge myself to you, Cadence.” And then he kissed her. Like her lover. Like he was hers, as she was his, and he would never leave her. “I am sorry you had to relive all that history. But now that I know, I’ll never doubt your word again. I swear.”

  “Thank you, David.” She smiled through her tears. “You don’t owe me an apology. I’m just afraid that I’ve ruined—”

  “We already pledged ourselves to each other. That’s forever. You can’t ruin anything. Whatever you did before I came along. What you are beneath this beautiful body. Whatever you were. Whatever I am beneath mine. It doesn’t matter.”

  She looked into his eyes, trying not to cry any more. “I truly am sorry that I put you in this position, David. Out of my crushing pride. This is—”

  David silenced her, which she immediately reversed. “You don’t have to apologise. If anything, I should be thanking you for finishing what you started. Using your breath as an excuse wasn’t necessary, but I understand now.” Cadence smiled and looked down, remembering. “As for your explanation, no one else except Junie knows about you, and no one is going to believe her. Especially with her blabbing to anyone who’ll listen about the space aliens and dead cops in this town.” Cadence giggled and held her hands over her eyelids. “Besides, don’t they say every kid ends up marrying his mother?”

  David chuckled as Cadence swatted him and he continued. “The other reason I asked you outside was that I wanted you to know, no matter what happens here today. If we die. I want you to know. Though it may have been bad timing. I do love you. Every you. If I die today, I want you to know that. I really do believe that, just as I’m the one for you, you were, and are, the one for me. The one girl. Meant just for me. The only one. I have nothing to gain by telling you that. I’ve already committed. But I wanted to be absolutely sure you heard it and understood. Before anything bad can happen.”

  “I heard, I understand and I love you too, David. Just, please, don’t ever call me mama. Not in bed, especially.” She laughed through her tears as David nodded his assent and asked that she please not ever call him ‘baby’. “I know you feel truly for me. I can tell. As you can surely feel it from me. We are more equal than you know. There is nothing more you can gain from me by telling me you love me or flattering me in any way. I’ve already given you the greatest gift I have.”

  “No. You’ll be giving me that for the rest of your life, in your company. I only hope I can repay you in kind.”

  “You are a dear, David. And I’m sure you can. At the very least, you have your whole life to try.” She giggled.

  “It’s funny,” he said. “The whole time Junie and I were serious, we thought we might be in love, but we could never be certain. And I used to think... That’s one of the greatest tragedies of this life. That, no matter how much you might love someone, you could never really be sure they felt the same way for you. But now that I’ve met you, and we’re one. There’s no doubt. No uncertainty. I can never not be sure of what you feel. That you feel the same. Or, God forbid, if you should ever stop feeling that way. Now that I’m a monster, as you say we both are, I feel more human than I ever thought I could.”

  She smiled, holding his face in her hands, and kissed him in return, pleasuring him with her tongue and beginning to feel weak kneed. “I feel the same, my beloved. You’ll always know that. And we’re not monsters. I’m an Angel, and you’re as close to one as any human ever has been. I only call myself a monster because I don’t want people to think I’m crazy. If I called myself an Angel, I’d be challenging their beliefs.” She giggled and kissed his nose. “But for now...” She cleared her throat and rubbed the flush from her cheeks. “For now, we have to concentrate on keeping ourselves safe. And, though she infuriates me, saving poor Juno. You loved her once. Maybe she loved you too, maybe she didn’t, but she helped you in some respect. At the very least, she brought you back to me, so I owe her for doing that.”

  “When you put it that way, I guess we do owe her.”

  “Yes, David, we do. But after this. No more. Please, dear?”

  “Of course not. After this, she’s
out of our lives. And if she refuses to accept our help, then you should consider you did what you could. I don’t want you putting yourself in danger to keep her from getting herself killed if she’s bound and determined to.”

  “I would never rob you of me, my love. Never again. I swear it.”

  The front door swung open and Juno came marching out in jeans and a tee shirt. She looked around, seeing the Strange household and an empty street. Hearing distant murmurs.

  “What the fuck are you two idiots doing out here?” Juno asked. “That was Ricky on the phone. You got your wish, Davey. Paulie and everyone else is coming on out. They don’t believe the whole cannibal story. I don’t blame them. I think it’s bullshit myself. Nice try, Cadence. And I don’t know what the fuck kind of weird withdrawals I’m still having, but Franky isn’t around anymore, you’re not old enough to be Davey’s mom and I don’t think—” Cadence bared all three sets of her fangs behind David’s back, staring into Juno and chomping, then immediately reshaping her face to human. “Please don’t hurt me!” David gave Juno a funny look, as she tried to pretend she wasn’t scared half to death. “...I mean... If this village, or whatever it is, is so desperate to keep little Miss ‘I’m So Terribly Embarrassed’ from harm, they’re willing to send numbers... Oh my God.” She walked out to the street and watched the horde of townsfolk marching toward them, in the distance. “You must suck one hell of a dick, Cadence. An entire town can’t be wrong.”

  Cadence brought her voice to a whisper. “She really is making this difficult, isn’t she? Oh, the mouth on her. And I never, David. I never. Not with any of them. I promise you.”

  David stroked Cadence’s cheek and hugged her. “You don’t have to defend yourself to me. I know you’re true. Even if you did. With any of them. I’d know. And I told you already. Whatever happened in your life before you met me. And before you met me. And then before you met me again. Even the stuff that happened in between times. That’s not for me to be offended about. How could I expect you to save yourself for someone you didn’t even know still existed?”

  “But I knew you still existed, beloved. I knew. I just didn’t know what you looked like anymore. Changing my own body, so many times over so many years. Absorbing the memories of so many lives made all the other bodies I’ve seen much harder to recall.”

  “Still...” David smiled and blushed a bit himself. “You never have to apologise to me again. We’ll both always know if the other is sorry. Talking about our feelings may be overkill.”

  “Speaking as, quite possibly, the only woman on this planet who agrees with that statement, I love you, David.”

  “And I love you, Cadence.”

  Juno stormed back toward them. “What the hell are you doing, Cadence?” Juno tried to pull Cadence from David’s grasp and push her to the side with all her might. Looking to see David’s nod, Cadence willingly let go of him. “You keep your fuckin’ high and mighty hands off my man. We may not be one hundred percent exclusive but... You’re something else. You really are. Oh, you’re so ashamed. And what would everyone think? And. Oh. No. This is just inappropriate. And then, when you think you have everyone fooled, you start groping my man in public? In broad daylight, no less. And don’t you think you’re his mom, you twisted confused freak?”

  To be fair, David said. I haven’t had the chance to broach the subject of our relationship with her yet. And she’s never going to be able to wrap her head around what you really are.

  I know, Cadence replied. You said. It’s okay. I actually find it amusing how upset she gets about me touching you when she intends to see you executed shortly, and then go back to groping any man with twenty-seven dollars and a hard-on, as soon as she possibly can.

  Oh my Lord, David said, as Cadence blushed. I can’t believe you said that. That was... Just... Inexcusable.

  Cadence swatted him. You promised.

  I’m just playing with you, David said, laughing more.

  Juno came between them again. “Look.” She held her arms out, as if she were strong enough to stop them both from crushing her. “I don’t know what you two are all giggly about, but the whole town, it looks like, is on its way to see me. Any ideas why? Any at all, Cadence?” Juno’s hands waved violently. “Earth to wherever the fuck you are. Hello? Cadence? Mommy? Are you still with us?”

  “They’re a bit upset with me.” Cadence held her hands in front of her stomach, looking down and swaying back and forth. “They’re quite old fashioned. They’re not good at dealing with change.”

  “Meaning?” Juno asked. Glaring. Waiting. Fuming.

  “How long did you say, dear?” Cadence asked David.

  David sniffed the air. “Twenty-four, twenty-five minutes. They’re back on track now. All of them.”

  Juno rolled her eyes and threw up her hands. “What is it with you two idiots? The dried-out dope fiend and the pretend paedophile. You two should have your own TV show. I swear to fuck. What do I do now?”

  “I’ll go forward and speak to them,” Cadence said. “It’s best you both come with me too. But stand behind me.” Cadence shook her head and pulled off her burlap dress, revealing a risqué light blue cotton sleeveless one-piece thigh-high dress and bare feet. “That’s better,” she said as she stretched. “It’s getting hot out here. Now pay attention.”

  Pay attention to the violent horde, dear. Cadence blushed. Not my ass. You have the rest of your life to check out my ass. ...Correction, my beautiful ass? I swear. You’re beyond saving. But I must confess, I love it. And, as awful a thought as it is for me to think, I’m especially glad Juno despises it.

  Don’t hate me for not stopping looking, David said. Your body is the most distracting thing. Not even any leggings? Good God. I didn’t ask you to show me it now. But thank you for insisting I stand behind you. I think I’m getting my energy back.

  No... That’s just... Oh okay. You are adorable, my love.

  Not nearly as adorable as your—

  “And stand in the middle of the street,” Cadence said, smiling. Commanding. Blushing harder.

  “Okay.” Juno fumbled for David’s wrist and followed Cadence down the road to the side of the Strange household. Smacking him on the forehead with increased frustration, and increasing physical discomfort, as his eyes continued to keep looking where Cadence had half-heartedly begged him not to. “What’s the deal with that dress?” Juno asked Cadence. “How is your body possibly that unbelievably fucking hot? I mean... Wait. Better question. Why the middle of the street?”

  “Because, Juno,” Cadence said, “it’s tradition. It’s only proper. We must conduct ourselves as civilised individuals, no matter how uncomfortable the situation.” She looked back at David and winked. “Mostly, though, because it’s a whole lot fuckin’ cooler than having a showdown in a corn field.”

  David burst out laughing. Juno gave him the stink eye.

  Storm clouds loomed in the distance as the townsfolk approached quickly. Carrying all manner of weapons from simple farming implements to semi-automatic pistols. All of them muttering obscenities and bemoaning the hard times that were sure to befall them all very shortly. None having any idea how to remedy the situation and none really sure how to properly lead an angry mob. They all stopped marching seven feet in front of Cadence Starp, who stood in the middle of the road and held her hands out in a halting gesture.

  “What the fuck is going on?” a voice from the crowd asked. Seven others yelled approximately the same thing.

  “Townsfolk,” Cadence began, as David watched her ass with wonder and Juno kept trying to hold his hand. “I ask you to, please, put down your weapons. Or holster them. Or just, you know, not point them at us.”

  “Your girlfriend’s doing a great job,” Juno said, sweating hard and whispering to David. “If any of them didn’t want to kill me before she started talking, most of them will by the time she’s done.”

  “Shut your fuckin’ mouth for seven seconds, would you?” David asked. “You’ll be
opening it up nice and wide as often as you like soon enough.”

  Juno’s jaw dropped immediately.

  Another voice from the crowd boomed out. “Tell us why we shouldn’t kill you right now? Traitor.”

  “Well...” Cadence motioned for David to hand her the black and white photographs. He slipped them into her hand as she continued to look forward. “For one thing, it won’t solve your problem.”

  “Right now it seems like you’re our problem, lady,” someone else shouted.

  “That may appear to be the case,” Cadence said. “But I assure you, if you need me to supply you with more provision, killing me won’t make me any better able to do that.”

  A murmur of uncertainty spread through the crowd as the townsfolk spoke among themselves. All looking confused and, perhaps, constipated.

  “I want you to have these.” Cadence crawled forward on her hands and knees, placed her collection of black and white photographs on the ground and crawled backward.

  “What the fuck?” Juno covered David’s eyes and smacked at his crotch. Wondering why doing that hurt her too. “That bitch has gone completely fucking nuts. And God damn it, Davey. A little tact would be appreciated.”

  “I’m almost positive she didn’t notice.” David licked his palm and rubbed it against the back of Juno’s neck.

  Juno glared back at him. “I meant around me, you self-absorbed prick. Anyway, her body’s not that... I mean, she’s...” As she watched Cadence stand back up, Juno’s hands dropped from David’s eyes and absently began massaging her crotch. “I mean, she’s looking tight. Sexy... I don’t think she’s even wearing anything under... God, I just want to...” Seeing David smirking at her, Juno stopped talking. Looking embarrassed but still turned on. “What are you smiling about? I’m not the one who’s into her, Davey. I mean I’d eat every inch of that sweet little ass, sure, but... Wait...”