“Andrew, you saw the way I was that day. You saw how upset I was. I didn’t know then…I mean, I thought that…I thought that I was feeling ill for some other reason. I didn’t realize what it was.”
“So you thought it was a possibility then but just wouldn’t accept it? You can’t tell me it didn’t run through your mind. Was that why he wanted you to go back with him?”
She shook her head vehemently. “No! No. It wasn’t like that, Andrew! I didn’t say anything to him about it then because I didn’t know.”
“Well, perhaps it’s time he does know. We can see what he thinks about it.”
“But Andrew, I don’t care if he ever knows!”
Andrew frowned. “I do. He needs to know that he’s going to be a father. If it were me, I would want to know. If you decide you want to go with him, you are free to go.”
Rebekah felt her heart falling into her stomach. She began to cry and covered her face with her hands. “I don’t want to go, Andrew.”
“I think it would probably be best for you. You have been seeing him in town for a week. How am I to know he hasn’t made arrangements already?”
“No! It’s not been that way, Andy. Please believe me.”
He came over to her but didn’t put his arms around her like she wanted him to. She took a step toward him but he stepped back. She stopped.
“Oh, Andy.” She sobbed.
“I’ll get the buggy ready. We’ll take it to town and find him. He needs to know.”
“But I don’t know where he’s staying. And the city is busy. He could be anywhere.”
“I don’t think so. I think he’ll be easy to find.”
She didn’t question him further. She left the room in a hurry. She wanted to get in her boots and run away. If he made her leave with Gregory, that’s just what she planned to do.
Chapter Seven
This time, the buggy under Rebekah’s legs felt hard and uncomfortable. She couldn’t get the idea out of her mind that she was going to have to go back to that little shack with the leaky roof. It made her feel like she wanted the ground to swallow her up where she was. She didn’t want to go back.
She couldn’t beg Andrew. He wasn’t going to listen, she was sure. She thought about all of her dreams fading away as they left the ranch. She closed her eyes, not wanting to see the passing cornfield and the barn, stable and ranch house she was leaving behind.
The buggy jostled her and she touched Andrew’s arm with hers. It sent a jolt through her. Once again, she wanted to grab him and hold on forever. But she didn’t dare. If he shrugged her off, which he was likely to do, it would end her. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself. She couldn’t believe how much pain she was in. It emanated from her heart and vibrated through her whole body. She knew she was in love with Andrew.
Rebekah lowered her head and let her tears fall. She couldn’t believe she had been so happy, had seen such a bright future ahead of her and now it had all fallen apart. The man she loved was sitting next to her, a man she could see herself loving for the rest of her life. And he was delivering her to the man who had already shattered her heart and her dignity once and would be determined to make her life miserable.
She wished Andrew would understand that. She wished she could just tell him how much she cared for him and didn’t want to leave him. But she didn’t say anything. She just couldn’t.
“I’m going to miss you, Rebekah.” Andrew murmured as they got closer to the little city. He dared a glance at her pretty face but looked away quickly. It made his heart hurt to look at her. It made him feel even worse when she lowered her head and looked in the opposite direction. She didn’t want him to see the tears rising into her eyes again. “I’ve…become quite fond of having you around.”
I don’t want to leave, she screamed in her mind. But she didn’t say a word.
There were no buggies or carriages in front of the hotel. “I’m sure he’ll be here. If not, we’ll check the saloon.”
“Andy, do we have to?”
He didn’t look at her. “He needs to know. He should be given the opportunity to raise his child.”
“But he wouldn’t want it. He wouldn’t want to be a father. He wouldn’t be a good father to any child. I know it.”
“He needs to be given the chance.” He finally gave her a quick glance and it sent her heart pounding in her chest like a drum. “And with him having been here for the past week and you seeing him, well…I just don’t know how to feel anymore.”
“But I didn’t see him.” Rebekah felt like a child begging for another piece of candy. She felt humiliated and upset. She barely murmured the next sentence. “I didn’t want to see him in the first place. I don’t…I don’t want to go back.”
Andrew acted like he hadn’t heard her. He jumped down from the wagon and entered the hotel without a word to her. She stayed in the buggy, not wanting to leave where she was. She didn’t want to see Gregory’s face. She didn’t want to hear his voice. She didn’t want to be anywhere near him.
When he came back out of the hotel, he was very quiet. He climbed up into the buggy and sat down, picking up the reins. Rebekah looked at him.
“He wasn’t there?”
“No,” Andrew replied in a short voice. “In fact, it appears he’s left town.”
Rebekah felt several emotions run through her. Chills ran through her body. “How do you know that?”
“The clerk in there said that he ran out about a half hour ago with his bags, throwing money her way and grumbling how he was gonna get out of this one-horse town as fast as he could.”
Rebekah felt confusion. “Do…do you think he found out somehow?”
Andrew looked at her. “I suppose he could have known, yes. If you told him.”
She shook her head, her eyes opening wide. “No. I didn’t tell him. I didn’t tell him, Andrew. I vow to you I did not tell him.”
“The only other person who knew is the Doc.” Andrew’s voice was low and angry. “And he wouldn’t tell him, would he?”
“I…I don’t know.” Rebekah shook her head. He was right that the Doc was the only one who knew. How else would Gregory have found out? And what other reason would he have to leave, if he didn’t know? “What…what will you do with me now?”
Andrew licked his lips and hesitated. He didn’t know what to do. “I’m heading back to the ranch. You should try to rest, I’m sure. I…I’m gonna talk to the Doc. See what he thinks of this situation. He knows about the pregnancy. So I don’t have to worry about having to tell someone else about your business. Maybe…maybe you could go back to your community, the one you left behind when you got with Gregory in the first place.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to do that, Andrew. I don’t want to go back there. You don’t know how they’ll treat me. They will shun me. They won’t talk to me. They will encourage me to marry a man I don’t know now and don’t love.”
“You didn’t know me and you took a chance.” He said.
“That’s different. You’re different. I don’t want to do that.”
“We’ll see what the Doc says. If he thinks it’s a good idea for you to go back to the community, I’ll take you there. I’m sure they will take care good care of you.”
She tried hard not to cry again.
***
Andrew didn’t say another word to her all the way back. Her mind was whirling again. With Gregory gone, and the doctor’s affection for her, surely she would be able to stay at the ranch now. He would convince Andrew to give her a chance. She wanted him to. He had to.
She decided that if she had to beg, she would. There was nowhere she would rather be than at the ranch, her child growing inside her, the warmth and concern of all of her new friends. And Andrew. She wanted to be as close to Andrew as possible. For as long as possible.
The closer they got to the ranch, the better she felt. She was slowly convincing herself that the Doctor would be on her side. She wouldn’t have to leav
e. She would offer to stay away from Andrew if that helped…at least for a while. The mere thought of staying away from Andrew made her heart hurt.
He pulled the buggy up in front of the house and got down without tending to the horses. Daniel was just coming out of the stable and called over to them.
“Hey, you two! Where have you been? Saw you take off like bats out of hell earlier. What’s going on?”
“Have you seen the Doc?” Andrew said.
“Yeah, he’s out riding Majestic. He wanted to get a feel for him, see how we are doing with him.”
“Saddle up a horse for me, would you?” Andrew turned to Rebekah, reaching out and grabbing her elbow. “Come on, Beck.”
The sound of his nickname for her made her heart melt with desire. She followed him willingly. He took her back into the house and sat her down in the den. “You stay here, Rebekah, okay?” At least his voice was gentle, even though he looked like he was in pain.
She nodded, gripping the edges of the couch with both hands, as if she might topple off if she didn’t hold on.
He turned and walked back out the door.
***
Riding as fast as he could through the meadow on the other side of the cornfield, Andrew felt a knot in his chest that he’d never felt before. He wanted to trust that Rebekah hadn’t told Gregory but even if she had, it didn’t seem the man wanted anything to do with the child. Over the weeks she had been living at the ranch, he had grown more than fond of her. He had fallen in love with her. But now he just didn’t know if he could trust her. He’d seen her talking to Gregory. She may have been upset but perhaps she had told him about the baby and when he said he didn’t want it, she turned it around and acted as though he had been trying to get her to leave with him. Perhaps she was saying that so that she wouldn’t hurt his feelings.
He would have sworn she had feelings for him too. He thought he could see her feelings in her eyes and on her face. Her smile was warm and affectionate. They had gone on several picnics, they’d laughed and joked around. He liked her sense of humor. She was a beautiful woman. She cooked with Amanda in the kitchen regularly, baking the most delicious cookies and pastries he’d eaten in his life. She kept her room sparkling clean, easing the burden on Bethany, the chambermaid. She went out of her way to be pleasant and kind to everyone in the house and everyone in town.
When he saw the Doc heading toward him, he lifted one hand in greeting. Doc waved back and slowed his horse, coming up alongside Andrew.
“You’ve talked to her, I take it,” Doc said.
“Yes, sir.”
“It doesn’t look like you are happy about the situation,” Doc said.
“No, sir.”
“What are you thinking, Andrew?”
Andrew looked out over his horse and into the distance, not really seeing what was before his eyes. “I…I just don’t know, Doc. How can I trust her? She’s going to have another man’s baby and she saw that man as recently as a few days ago.”
Doc shook his head. “Do you want my advice, son?”
Andrew looked at him. “Yes, sir. I do.”
“I suggest you give her a chance to prove to you that she didn’t want to go back to that man. She told me a little bit about him, not much. I’m sure she has her reasons. I didn’t get the impression she wanted to be around him.”
“I took her to town to find him.”
“Oh, Andrew. You didn’t.” The Doc put one hand on his hip and lowered his head, shaking it in a disappointed fashion. “I wouldn’t have done that.”
“I was angry.” Andrew’s voice was filled with emotion. He swallowed hard, not wanting his anxiety to get the better of him. “I wasn’t really thinking straight, to tell you the truth. I wanted her to…I wanted to marry her and for us to have a family. Our own family.”
“Son, let me just say this. You can still have a family with her. And this child is going to need a good father. Someone who will take care of the child and its mother. The child doesn’t need a man who would run off when he finds out he’s about to have a child. That’s not a man. That’s not noble.”
“I agree but…” Andrew looked at the doctor. “How…how did you know Gregory ran off?”
The doctor just looked at him.
“Did you go and tell him, sir?”
“I didn’t have to. I admit I went into town to do that. I was prepared to pay him to leave town so that you would step up as the child’s father. But he was leaving when I got there. The clerk at the hotel told me that he’d just come back from the ice cream parlor. Lillian mentioned that Rebekah was showing signs of needing a test for pregnancy. It spooked him and he packed his bags and left town like a bank-robbing bandit.”
Andrew blinked, stunned by the turn of events.
“Son.” Doc leaned over to him. “Go back and take care of her. If you need a little time, take all that you need. But don’t turn your back on her now.”
Chapter Eight
The months passed quickly. Rebekah was somewhat surprised by how fast it seemed to go. She became accustomed to feeling ill in the morning and Amanda, who’d had three of her own children and now had a grandchild, put her on a special diet that helped her feel better throughout the day. She made sure to get as much exercise as she could and tried to stay moving.
Doc wouldn’t let her get on a horse for the last half of her pregnancy and because she was growing so large, he banned her from even visiting the town for the last two months.
Andrew made plans to build a crib and took her to town before she couldn’t go so that she could pick out the kind of wood she wanted to be used and a paint color that suited her.
“I assume you and the ladies have figured out some way to know whether you’re having a boy or a girl.” Andrew gave her a smile, making her heart sing.
She smiled back. “We have, yes.”
“Well, what are the results of your scientific methods?”
“The general consensus is that it’s going to be a boy.”
“Oh?” His smile widened. “I think that would be great for you. You are a tough lady. A boy would be good for you.”
Rebekah laughed. The last thing she was was a “tough lady”. “I wouldn’t say I’m a tough lady.” She remarked. “In fact, I would probably say that I’m kind of on the dainty side.”
He nodded. “Okay, I’ll give you that. You aren’t really very tough. You need to be cared for.” He wanted to do that. He wanted to care for her. After the last few months, getting to know her even more than he had before, he’d decided he was one hundred percent in love with her but he had humiliated himself when he’d found out about the pregnancy.
He still hadn’t figured out how to tell her that he regretted his behavior. So he made up for it by doing as much as he could for her, painting the new nursery, building the crib, consulting with the doctor on a constant basis to find out how she was doing. It was his subtle way of saying he was sorry. He knew that eventually, he would have to actually come out and say it. She deserved that much.
As the day drew nearer for her to have the child, he asked her if she had thought of any names. She merely shook her head. He wondered how she could not be thinking about something like that.
“You can’t just call it baby forever.” He laughed. “You have to give him a name. Or her, if it turns out to be a girl. Surely you’ve been at least thinking about it.”
She gave him a small grin but shook her head. “I haven’t settled on anything.”
In her heart, Rebekah was hoping that he would participate in naming the child. She waited patiently for him to express his love for her. She could see that his affectionate behavior wasn’t just out of friendship. In the six and a half months leading up to the day she expected to give birth, he had grown more and more loving, without actually coming out and saying that he loved her. She was almost sure of it but not sure enough to bring it up herself. It wasn’t proper for her to say it first. She just wasn’t sure enough.
Andre
w had planned a picnic, one of the last, he said, before they would be taking a baby along with them. Whenever he talked about future plans, she knew that he wasn’t going to make her leave after the baby was born. She wondered if he would stop taking care of her like he had been. If he would revert to treating her like a friend.
She woke up that morning with a smile. Her dreams had been filled with love, Andrew’s love, a love she craved with every breath. When she was almost done getting dressed and was sitting at her dressing table brushing her hair, there was a knock at the door.
“Come in.” She said.
“Hello, fat lady.” Andrew stuck his head in. She laughed, delighted to see him.
“I’m so very insulted by that, Andy. So very insulted.”
“Yes, I can tell.” His smile reached up into his eyes, making distinguishing wrinkles. “How are you feeling today? Ready to pop?”
“Fairly.” She said, leaning back and resting one hand on her large belly. “He is not as active as he was. He’s been very quiet for several days.”
“Still moving around, though?”
“Oh yes, just not as much.”
“That’s because he’s only got a little bit of room in there now.”
“I believe you are right, Andy.” She gazed at him, thinking how very handsome he was.
“Are you ready for our breakfast picnic? It’s already very nice outside but I fear it’s going to get hot if we wait too long.”
“Is that why you planned a morning picnic? Do you expect it to get hot out?”
“Yes. I think we have a few hours but I want to make sure we take advantage of the early morning cool weather.”
“Well, it is July. We should expect it to be warm.”
“Yes. You are right about that. Come on, woman. Let’s go see what Amanda has made for us to take!”
“All right.” Rebekah pushed herself up and took small steps to get to him. She held out one hand and he took it. When he didn’t move, she looked up into his eyes. He was gazing at her fondly. Her heart melted and she swallowed. “What is it, Andy?”
[2016] The Precious Amish Baby Page 40