by Mary Brady
“Trey sort of accepts things as they come.”
“They say kids are resilient. I hope that’s not just something ‘they’ say.” She rested her free hand on her belly and her baby shifted inside her as if the child knew she needed reassurance. “I hope Trey comes back soon, happy and lively like the other children.”
“We all hope that.”
When they stopped beside her Ford, Baylor reached for the handle and then let his hand fall back to his side.
“Are you sure you’re all right to drive back to town?” he asked as he reached up and brushed back the hair that had blown into her eyes.
“I’m fine.” The touch of his rough fingertips on her skin sent a jolt of sensation through her. She found herself yearning for him to reach up again and put his hand on her cheek, to have him bend down and kiss her mouth.
He studied her as if he was considering the same thing. “Then we should get you on your way.”
“We should.” She slid into her car. “I have an appointment to meet with Allen Martin in a couple of hours. We’ll go over some of the supply and labor details, and he says he’ll set up a meeting at the diner in the morning and bring some of the people in the area that I need to know.”
“Good.” Baylor rested both hands on the top of her car and smiled in at her. “Al can get you in contact with all the right folks. He has a good idea of who’s available and when.”
“Thanks for giving me a chance at this project.” KayLee felt her energy begin to flag.
Baylor shifted, reached into his pocket and produced a folded piece of paper and a flash drive. “These are preferences, thoughts, ideas and things to bug the designer with. One set is mine and the other is from my parents. Meant to give them to you earlier. You do have access to a computer?”
“A laptop. I’ll study them carefully.”
“Good enough.” He patted the top of her car. “Drive safely.”
“Always.”
The sun had traveled halfway down toward the mountaintops in the west by the time she departed the ranch. Trey would be in Helena by the time she got to St. Adelbert. She wondered if they let the boy’s mother and father ride in the helicopter.
She couldn’t imagine sending her child so far away with strangers.
KayLee puffed out a breath and concentrated on driving as she continued down the muddy road toward the highway. She traversed the small valley where the Doyle ranch and several others sat nestled between mountain ranges. The scenery was as inspiring as ever, but soaring peaks and the deep green of pines against the snow couldn’t blot out her memories of the distressed looks the Doyle grandparents had worn earlier, nor the pained innocence on Trey’s face yesterday.
As she crested the last hill near St. Adelbert, a vivid image of Baylor Doyle as a noble knight on a large steed flashed into her head so clearly, she almost felt as if she were floating. She let off the gas and the car slowed. “Wow.”
What was it about Baylor Doyle that had her feeling so light—and so what? Hungry? Needy? School-girl crushy? Not that she didn’t appreciate knowing she could still feel such things after not having felt them for so long.
By the time she got out of her car at the Easy Breezy, she so needed that nap. She stumbled into the room, dropped her briefcase onto the chair, went to the bathroom, of course, and then propped two pillows against the headboard. Without taking her coat off, she lay down on top of the spread clutching her mobile phone.
But couldn’t sleep and got up.
Standing at the table, she held the check from the Doyles up to the light. Uncertainty tugged at her until her knees weakened and she sagged down onto the chair. She held the future of so many people in her hands.
It had all seemed so doable. She had been so sure of herself, but until she held the down payment in her hands, it had all seemed like it could be a movie, somebody else’s script.
It was up to her to reach into her drawings and pluck out the dream other people’s lives would be made of.
She should nap first to take the edge off the sleepiness.
She had just set her alarm, when the phone rang in her hand. Too tired even to startle, she gripped it tightly and lay back against the pillows. When the phone rang again she glanced at the caller’s name on the screen.
Cindy Sorenson. Her friend was back in the States. She had to be. Cindy’s mobile didn’t work in the desolate area outside Addis Ababa, where her friend’s shoot was taking place.
She flipped open her phone. “Cindy! Hello. How are you? Where are you?”
Her friend laughed. “Hi to you, too. I’m fine. I’m in California, but they tell me you’re not.”
“They’re right.” KayLee leaned back on the pillows and wiggled over on her side so she could pin the phone between her head and the pillow. “I’m in Montana.”
“The state?”
“Yes, silly. I have a job here.”
“What kind of job? But…wait—aren’t you pregnant? I mean, you are still, aren’t you? Pregnant? Because knowing you, you wanted so much to be that baby’s mother.”
“I am seven and a half months and counting. You should see me. I’m rather houselike.” KayLee wasn’t sure she wanted the conversation to stay on her, so she changed the subject. “How was your shoot?”
“Long. It’s way cooler in Addis Ababa than I ever imagined, it being so close to the equator and all. Elevation, you know. But, I’d rather hear about you.”
“Your life is more exciting and mine is…” KayLee stopped.
“Hey, as the reigning queen of low-budget indie films, I get to pass on talking about the process if I want to. We’ll save it for a day of deep red wine and artichoke-anything under a palm tree. Hell, a forest of palm trees, gently lapping waves…men rubbing our feet.”
“Okay, okay. Uh, so far the baby’s doing well and so is the mother, most days.”
“Yeah, it’s hard to believe Chad is gone. I wish I could have come to his memorial service.”
“Your flowers were beautiful. So was your offer for me to come and share your apartment in Addis Ababa. It seemed kind of far away under the circumstances.”
“I still think Chad would have come around once he saw his baby’s face.”
“He might have, but that’s all over now.” Everything was over and gone: the matching Mercedes, the living room with an ocean view, the parties… But Cindy had seen the rise and fall so many times in the California crowd, there was no need for details.
“I didn’t expect you to be back so soon,” KayLee said to swing the conversation back to Cindy. If she talked very much about the ranch, Cindy would ask about Baylor Doyle and KayLee was sure she didn’t want to go there now. “Your kids must be ecstatic.”
“FYI, I know you’re dodging. Yeah, speaking of my little love buckets. I missed my kids. Mom brought them to England and we had a nice visit, but it’s not the same as being home with them. The weather there is not too unlike Southern California, but it’s way easier to find peace and quiet there for a shoot, even without a sound-stage.”
“It’s a bit colder here in Montana. I was so pitifully dressed when I got here, they lent me a coat.”
“And they still hired you.”
“Imagine that.”
“Any men?
KayLee’s thoughts immediately flew to the image of her standing in front of her car staring into Baylor’s eyes, wondering if she saw the need there that she had been feeling. “Um—there’s…”
“What’s his name?”
KayLee let out a purposeful sigh. “His name’s Baylor Doyle and every time I see him things begin to happen, things I can’t afford to act on right now.”
“You can’t afford to find a man you can fall in love with?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Simplify it for me.”
“What I’m doing here isn’t a casual thing. An entire extended family is depending on this project to make money for them so they can all live happily on the ranch forever
.”
“That cooperative community or whatever it was called—”
“Concept community.”
“Yeah, that. Those people all pooled their life savings to get that place built. And you made that happen.”
“If it had failed, they would have had to go back to their former lives.”
“But they didn’t.”
“There’s a sick child involved here.”
“That’s harsh.”
“Sometimes I wonder if I’m being fair to me and my baby to be into something that could turn into a tragedy on many levels.”
“Dark alert. Dark alert.”
KayLee laughed again. A dark alert meant the speaker had two minutes after the alert was sounded to feel sorry for herself and to be as dark and depressed as she wanted to be and then she had to stop. “All right, I’ll be quick.”
“Hey, we’ve never gotten the chance to talk about you and Chad, and if we’re gonna go dark…”
“Our marriage was torn apart by not being able to change lust into love. I don’t recommend it.”
“Ha, you dated him for almost a week before the nups.”
“Yep.” Tightness in her throat swelled to nearly choke off her breath and she coughed to free the air and then forced the words out. “‘I give up. It’s over. We need to get a divorce.’ That’s what Chad said.”
“And?”
“The pregnancy test had come back positive that day, and when I told him, he said he’d stay for the baby—if he could.”
“Girlfriend, you should have gotten a hold of me. I know I said I’d be out of touch for months, but here I am and the film people could have gotten a message to me.”
“I thought about it, but it’s hard to say any of this stuff in an email, let alone across an ocean on the phone.”
Something thumped loudly on Cindy’s end of the phone. “It’s also nuts to think Montana will be harder than what you left behind.”
The thumping sounded again, louder this time.
“Okay,” Cindy continued, “my little ones are circling and we don’t have much time, so I’m canceling dark alert. Tell me about the man you’ve met there.”
“He’s one of the clients.”
Thump. “We can’t hold that against him, can we?”
“It’s just pregnancy hormones anyway.”
Baylor Doyle. She smiled at the thought of the big rancher alighting from his steed. She saw herself stepping up to him and putting her hands flat on his chest. Might as well remove his shirt. Putting her hands on his bare chest, his muscles flexed, the crisp hair tickling her fingertips. She’d let the feelings have free reign in her body, let everything that wanted to, clench and swell. Then she’d inhale deeply, raise up on her tiptoes…
“KayLee?”
“Er…I missed that. What did you say?”
“Were you thinking about him just now?”
“I was. He’s hot by any standards, Cindy.”
“So what I said before, blaming it all on your hormones is a load of crap. Remember, I’ve been there three times and the hormones only amplify what’s there.”
“Exponentially?”
“That bad, huh? Or should I say good.”
“Moooom-meeee!”
KayLee laughed. “How are the kids anyway?”
“They’re great. I promised we’d go to the place where they have the big pipe organ and nearly edible pizza.”
“Sounds yummy.”
“Laugh today, lady. After your baby is born and for the next twenty years, you will eat things you never believed would ever cross your lips.”
“And yet I am looking forward to it.”
“You are going to love it. Listen, I’m glad you found work even if it is on the other side of the mountain.”
“I’m so glad somebody wanted to hire me or I’d be living in Marshside with my mother.”
If the Doyles hadn’t hired her, she’d be making the bleak trip to her mother’s tiny home in Wisconsin right now.
“You could move in with my mother and the kids.”
“Mommy, mommy, mommy…”
KayLee knew the offer from Cindy was a joke as her mother lived in an apartment with the grandchildren while Cindy was off earning a living. “I’m so glad you are back stateside. It will be so nice to have someone to talk to.”
“Oh, honey, I’m not really home.”
“What do you mean?” KayLee shifted on the pillow.
“The director let me off for only a few days. We’re shooting the sequel right away. Presumptuous, but since the big movies are all doing it, he says it’ll be more cohesive—read cheaper—in the long run. I leave early tomorrow morning.”
What could she say? Hadn’t she just thought about what a good job she’d done in learning to prop herself up.
“You can do this. You were married to Chad, after all.”
“And what does that mean?”
“It means nothing. I’m just talking, that’s all.”
Her usually forthright friend was backpedaling fast and KayLee wondered what that was all about.
“But, Cindy—”
“Mommy.”
“I am so sorry, I really have to go. I love you, sweetie. Email me and let me know how you’re doing.”
“Thanks, Cindy, you’re the best.”
They said their goodbyes and KayLee put the phone on the bedside table. You were married to Chad, after all. What the heck? Was she blind to some huge fault Chad had? Or she had?
She stifled a yawn and willed her eyes to stay open. She had to meet with Allen Martin in fifteen minutes. Enough time to fix her makeup, brush her teeth and head out.
You were married to Chad, after all. She couldn’t hide from the echo of the words inside her head, nor from the possible implications.
WEDNESDAY MORNING, KayLee drew her natural bristled hairbrush through her almost dry hair. If she brushed it when it was dry, the lack of humidity would make half of it fly out as if it were trying to get away while the rest stuck to her head. Not very appealing and this problem hadn’t happened to her when she lived near the ocean.
By the time she had headed back toward her room last night, she had been so tired a deli sandwich from the gas station convenience store had to do for dinner and she barely finished it before falling asleep. During the meeting, Al Martin, the building contractor, had promised to arrange breakfast with a couple local suppliers for this morning.
She put the brush away and leaned closer to the mirror to apply a few light brushes of mineral makeup to help tone down the more-than-healthy glow pregnancy had given to her cheeks, and then she smudged on concealer to hide the faint dark circles under her eyes.
With the exception of Cindy, people wouldn’t recognize her today. She used less makeup in a month now than she used to use in a day, but Cindy had seen her with makeup and without.
It hurt to think of her friend so far away. She’d be on a plane, over an ocean somewhere by now. Cindy had been the first person she had met in California. Already the mother of two, she sort of adopted the stray from Wisconsin. She and Cindy didn’t run with the same crowd—Cindy mostly ran with her kids—but their friendship seemed to survive anything.
KayLee stroked a bit of color on her lids and mascara on her lashes, but used no dark liner, no six shades of shadow and sculpting blush, no liquid, sponge-applied foundation.
Her flashy blond hair was now its natural dark blond and because she kept the straightening products and flat iron away, it fell in soft curls.
She almost didn’t recognize herself sometimes, but she liked what she saw. She saw a mommy, not a peripheral member of the glitterati.
The alarm on her mobile phone beeped. Al Martin et al would meet her at Alice’s Diner in ten minutes. She tugged on a pair of low-rise jeans that she buttoned below her belly and slipped on the only warm sweater she had. Then she nabbed her long, flowing coat from the closet and stopped without putting it on. It wasn’t right for going out today. She’d
wear the borrowed coat to the diner. Wearing it might lend her some Montana respectability.
She could use all the help…
She left her car at the motel and headed down Main Street. Heavy cloud cover kept the morning dark and gloomy and the wind made her glad she had chosen the work coat no matter how she looked.
It was cold today. No melting going on and it would snow soon, but the idea of driving out to the Doyle ranch in the snow didn’t bother her. When she got rid of the two sporty Mercedes to pay creditors, she bought a car she could drive in Wisconsin if she had to.
A gust of wind blew a shiver right through her. Funny how fast a pregnant woman can trot when she’s propelled by cold. Another block and she was at the lovely white building with blue trim that had flower boxes below the front windows waiting for the spring to warm up enough.
KayLee found herself wondering when exactly that would happen.
When she entered the cheerily painted diner, many heads turned in her direction.
CHAPTER EIGHT
KAYLEE CLOSED THE DOOR of the small diner against the cold wind and smiled at the people who stared at her from tables, booths and the red vinyl-covered stools at the counter.
Al Martin rose and motioned to her, and as she made her away from the entrance to a round table in the corner, more faces examined her. She nodded to each and hoped this assembly of her new friends and neighbors gave her passing marks, as she had no doubt this was an inspection.
“Hello, KayLee.” The greeting had come from a stranger, a thin fortyish woman with long, deeply auburn hair, who could only be described as vivacious-looking and was sitting with a picture-of-decorum man in a three-piece suit.
Several others called her by name and with big smiles as she passed. Okay, so did they all know her name?
These people meant no harm, right? Al had seemed very normal during their meeting yesterday.
She continued to smile and nod, wondering which faces would be employee, friend or vendor. A big man with a salt-and-pepper beard smiled as if she were an old friend. He had Fred on the front of his shirt, and as it turned out when she passed him, Fred’s Fix-It on the back. He was undoubtedly the owner of the very big, very “chromey” tow truck parked out front of the diner with the license plate that said BIG FRED. She might not be able to put too much stock in the size of his grin as it seemed he did everything big.