“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked, pulling her from her daydreams. Kate blushed and stared down at her hands as she poked at her food on her plate.
“I was just thinking about starting work next week,” she lied, as she pushed her dinner away. She no longer felt hungry.
“I see,” he said with a nod, looking a little disappointed. “I guess it will be hard getting back into the routine after you have been away from work and studying for so long, but this is what you have worked for.”
“Yeah, long hours, low pay, I can’t wait,” she replied forcing herself to smile. “I am living the dream.”
They both laughed nervously and then sat in an awkward silence. As the silence grew and grew, for the first time in three weeks, Kate felt uncomfortable in Callum’s presence.
“Kate,” Callum said finally, sounding nervous and shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
“Yes,” she replied breathlessly, hoping and praying for what? What was she hoping for? What did she want him to say?
“Um it’s uh...getting late,” he said suddenly unable to look her in the eye. “I have an early flight.”
“Oh right,” Kate replied, completely deflated.
Callum paid the bill and they went to get their coats. He helped her on with her coat, standing so close to Kate, she could smell his glorious aftershave. Callum’s hands lingered on her shoulders for longer than they really should have and she felt the electricity running from his body down through hers. Kate turned back to him and gazed into his eyes, searching for something to tell her what he was thinking. He kissed her softly on the lips and took her hand.
“Stay with me tonight,” he whispered softly his finger gently stroking her face.
“Yes,” Kate replied as her heart raced. It wouldn’t be the first night she had spent with him. It wouldn’t be the first time they would make love. But it would be the first time she knew she truly loved him.
By the time they reached his hotel room, they could no longer keep their hands off each other. Taking hold of Kate’s face with his two hands, he kissed her hard, his tongue searching her mouth. He pressed her against the bedroom door as his hand slid from her face, around to her back to the zip of her dress. Pulling the zip down with one hand, he put his other hand on the small of her back and pressed her to him. Kate could feel his erection against her hip. Softly she moaned into his mouth, as he kissed her hungrily.
“Oh Katie” he whispers, his hands finding the top of her dress. He slowly slid it from her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Keeping her eyes fixed to his eyes, Kate reached up and began to open the buttons of his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders and down his arms.
Callum grabbed her by the hips, as he picked her up into his arms and made his way to the bed. He put her down onto the bed and quickly climbed over her, his mouth finding hers once more. She grabbed the waistband of his jeans and pulled open his top button, then undid his zip. She slid her hands around him, down to his backside. Then, slipping them into his jeans, she pushed them and his boxer shorts down, freeing his rock hard cock.
He softly kissed her neck, moving down her body, inch by inch. When he reached her breast, he slowly peeled back the cup of her bra revealing her nipple, biting it gently and making her moan loudly.
Callum continued on down her body, tenderly kissing her as he went. He hooked Kate’s panties with his fingers and slid them off. He gently pushed open her legs, as he trailed soft kisses from her belly button all the way down between her legs. His tongue finally found her throbbing, swollen clit. He circled it again and again with the tip of his tongue, as she moaned loudly, in ecstasy.
“OH GOD!” Kate cried out, grabbing the bed spread beneath her, as she arched her back, lost in pure pleasure. Kate couldn’t take it anymore. She reached down and grabbed the top of his head to pull him back up to her. His mouth found her mouth again, as he slowly pushed his erection deep inside her.
“Oh, Katie,” he moaned as he pushed in to her harder and harder, pushing her higher and higher.
Kate pinched her eyes shut as Callum’s pace never let up. She felt like every single nerve in her body was tingling. She could feel a quiver in the pit of her stomach slowly spread through her body as Callum thrusted deeply into her again and again.
As he did, he stared down into Kate’s eyes. Kate could barely breathe as her heart raced faster and faster in her chest. It was like they were the only two people in the world, their bodies as one. Kate knew she was close. She reached around Callum, grabbing his ass and pushed him deeper inside her making him cry out loudly.
“OH FUCK KATE,” he moaned loudly. “I could stay like this forever.”
Kate’s head spun with sheer ecstasy as she found her release, holding on to him tighter, never wanting to let him go.
“YES, YES!” he growled as he pushed into her, hard, once more as he came, calling out her name. “KATE!”
They lay side by side in the bed for hours talking. They talked about their three weeks together, about Kate’s new job, about his next contract. He told her about his family, his mom and dad and his brother James. Kate told him about her mom and how she died of a brain haemorrhage when Kate was eighteen and how her dad was left to care for her and her thirteen year old brothers, Shea and Dara.
The sun was slowly creeping into the sky when they finally fell asleep in each other’s arms after the perfect night.
A few hours later, as they stood at the departure gate in Dublin airport staring into each other’s eyes, Kate thought her heart was going to break wide open. She wanted to beg him not to go, to tell him she loved him and that last night was the best night of her life, but she couldn’t find the words.
The last call for boarding echoed throughout the airport and it was time for them to say goodbye.
“I will call you when I get home,” he said, as he pulled her closer to him. Kate swallowed hard determined she was not going to cry, but she couldn’t fight it. Hot tears stung her eyes and burst free, trickling down her cheeks. He wiped them away. “Please don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry,” she sniffed, looking down unable to look at him anymore. “I am just being stupid.”
“Hey,” he said softly holding her chin and tilting her head up so Kate was looking him directly in the eyes. “This isn’t goodbye. This is just ‘see you later’, and you will see me later Katie. I told you the last three weeks have been the best three weeks of my life. You mean a lot to me Katie. I think I could be falling in love with you.”
Kate stared at him in complete shock, unable to speak, unable to say a single word. His eyes held hers, searching for a response, but still she just couldn’t find the words.
He softly kissed her one last time and slowly released her from his embrace. Taking a step back and then another, he smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He looked unsure. He raised his hand one more time, turned and walked through the metal detector just inside the door of the departure gate. Kate watched as he picked up his bag from the conveyor belt of the x-ray machine. He looked back, waved once more and then he was gone.
Suddenly, Kate needed to tell him she loved him too. She ran to the door and shouted out his name but the huge bald guy at security, stepped in her way.
“Have you got a boarding pass Ma’am?” he asked, but he already knew the answer.
“No,” she replied, almost breathless. “But I just want to tell someone I love them.”
“I am sorry Ma’am, but I can’t let you through without a boarding pass,” he replied firmly.
“But… he is the love of my life,” she whispered. Kate looked up and saw Callum standing just beyond the x-ray machine. His eyes blazing as he stared at her. He was waiting for Kate to speak.
“CALLUM!” She called out as the security guy stood out of her way just enough so she could see him clearly. “Callum, I love you”.
A big grin filled Callum’s face.
“I LOVE YOU TOO KATIE KELLY!” He shouted at the top of his voice,
everyone around him stopped suddenly and stared at him. But he didn’t care. He just blew her a big kiss and laughed out loud.
She watched as he finally turned and walked away and her happiness quickly faded as she stood stuck to the spot for a couple of moments, feeling nothing but overwhelming loss.
A short, round man in a business suit, who was rushing for the departure gate, bumped into her and nearly knocking her over. He didn’t even seem to notice what he had done. She cursed at him in her mind, then turned and headed for the door.
When Kate got back to her apartment, she parked her car in its usual spot. She couldn’t face her empty apartment just yet. She pulled her jacket from the back seat of the car, put it on and zipped it up. She shoved her hands deep into her pockets and went for a walk.
It was late afternoon before Kate got back to her apartment again. She pressed the button for the lift and waited for the doors to open. Kate climbed in and pressed the button for the third floor. She slumped against the mirrored wall of the elevator and closed her eyes. She was due to start work in two days and should have felt happy, but she wasn’t. Kate just wanted to climb into bed and sleep. The elevator door pinged open, Kate took a deep breath and stepped out of the lift.
“Callum!” she gasp, shocked to find him sitting at her door. Her heart soared at the sight of this man she had fallen so helplessly in love with. He quickly scrambled to his feet. “What are you doing here?”
“I was about to get on the plane,” he began to explain nervously. “I was at the boarding gate and I handed the flight attendant my boarding pass and she told me to have a good trip home. And that’s when I realised. I was home already.”
**********
Kate smiled, remembering just how new and exciting it was back then. But that seemed like a lifetime ago now and they were such different people. She leaned her head against the cold window and wished they could go back to then. Then maybe they could try and do things differently.
That said, Kate knew in her heart, she really wouldn’t want to change anything about their lives back then. They were happy and in love. He was her best friend, her soul mate. There was a time he would know what Kate was thinking almost before she knew herself. But then one day, that day, one stupid argument changed everything and the life they had together was gone and so were Katie and Callum. The people they were back then died with Emily that day and all that was left was sadness, loneliness and an unbearable ache that seemed to consume them both.
Kate sighed and walked back to the kitchen. She placed her coffee cup into the dishwasher and picked the jug of milk up off the counter and returned it back to the fridge. As she closed the fridge door, she saw their photo. It was the last one taken of the three of them. She took it from the fridge and studied it closely. They all looked so happy, life was perfect. Little did they know, only three short days later their world would be ripped apart, and they would be left to put the pieces back together, pieces that just didn’t seem to fit anymore.
She closed her eyes and thought about Emily. She could remember the day the photograph was taken. It was Emily’s fourth birthday. The house was full of family and friends for a huge party. She could remember how excited and happy Emily was.
“Mommy,” Emily squeaked excitedly. “Can I blow out the candles now? I want to make my wish.”
Kate knew what she was going to wish for. Emily wanted a little brother. It was all she talked about.
“If she makes her wish,” Callum whispered in Kate’s ear. “Does that mean I will get lucky tonight?”
“Your mind is in the gutter,” Kate laughed and kissed Callum. “Behave yourself.”
“Daddy,” Emily squealed excitedly as she bounced up and down in front of them both. “Kiss me, kiss me.”
Callum lifted Emily up in his arms and kissed her on the cheek and she hugged him tightly. He looked back at Kate and smiled happily at his beautiful wife. Then he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips.
“Hey Guys,” Olly called out, and the three of them turned in unison as she clicked the camera.
Kate smiled at the memory as she placed the photo back on the fridge and looked at the clock to check the time.
“SHIT!” she shouted. She was running late. Kate grabbed her coat and keys. Then she headed for the door.
Chapter 3
Kate walked quickly towards the lift but slowed when she saw someone else standing, waiting for the lift too.
“Crap,” she whispered to herself. Kate hated being in small confined spaces with absolute strangers. She wanted to remain as invisible as possible to everyone around her, that way no one would ask her questions. Then she wouldn’t have to explain how they ended up here in New York.
People always seemed to fire lots of questions at Kate as soon as they heard her accent. And then they would talk to her like she was their new best friend. Kate didn’t want any new best friends. She didn’t want any friends, period. That’s why she agreed to come to New York with Callum.
She needed a clean break. They both did. Kate needed to be somewhere where people didn’t know what happened. Somewhere where every time someone looked at her, their eyes weren’t filled with pity, sadness or worry, telling her that she needed to eat more, or sleep more. That time will be a healer. How she will learn to cope and then move on with her life. That maybe, getting back to work would do her the world of good. That the pain would ease eventually. It was all crap. Kate’s heart was broken and she knew deep inside, she would never get over losing Emily.
What did they know? They hadn’t the first clue how Kate felt. She wanted to scream and tell them that she didn’t want to learn to cope and move on. Kate couldn’t bear to go to work and spend her day looking after other people’s kids. She wanted to tell them she liked the pain because without it she would feel nothing.
The elevator opened with a ping and the lady standing waiting for it, stepped in. Kate stopped walking, giving it time to close and she would ride it down alone, once it had returned to her floor. The lady, who had been rummaging in her bag, looked up as the door was beginning to close. Quickly she pushed her hand through the closing door and they sprang back open.
“CRAP, CRAP, CRAP!” She silently screamed to herself. Kate hurried to the elevator and smiled at the lady for holding the door for her. “Thanks”.
The doors closed behind Kate and the elevator jumped to life and drops slowly down through the building.
“You moved into 319 didn’t you?” she stated more so then asked. “I’m Beth Rice.” She offered her hand and Kate quickly shook it.
“Kate Greyson,” she replied and forced a smile onto her face and she knew it didn’t quite reach her eyes, but Beth seemed not to notice or if she did, she pretended otherwise. “I live in 323, just down the hall from you” she replied and smiled. Beth was a pleasant woman. She had a broad, bright smile and warm, dark brown eyes that twinkled when she smiled. Kate reckoned she was in her mid-fifties, but then she had always been terrible at guessing ages. Callum used to say that was because she spent most of her life looking after kids. The memory made Kate smile, but then a familiar pain shot through her. The same one she would always get when she allowed herself to think about the past.
Kate realised Beth was still talking and she had no idea what she had said so she just smiled and nodded, wishing in her head that the elevator would move faster.
Finally the door pinged open on the ground floor. They both stepped out of the elevator together and headed for the door.
“So how do you like living in New York?” Beth said before they reached the door. “I take it from the accent you weren’t born in New York”.
“Oh it’s so far so good,” Kate replied not really knowing what else to say. “And no I am not from New York, I’m from Dublin.”
“Wow!” Beth said and smiled brightly. “So you are a long way from home”.
“I guess I am,” Kate chuckled and couldn’t help but smile, this time a genuine one. What is it with this
woman? Why did she make Kate feel so comfortable?
“Well if ever you need a friend,” she said, with a look in her eyes that seemed to see into Kate’s soul. “I am only down the hall.”
“Thank you Beth,” Kate replied, totally taken aback by this seemingly ordinary woman. For the first time in months she wanted to talk to someone. She wanted to talk to Beth Rice. “I will keep that in mind”.
They said their goodbyes and headed their separate ways. After a couple of minutes, Kate realised that she was still smiling, actually proper smiling. And it felt good.
Twenty minutes later, Kate was sitting in the reception of Doctor Paula Jameson, her therapist, for her usual Wednesday morning appointment. She flicked absentmindedly through one of the magazines that was lying on the table in front of her. She thought about Callum and what happened in the early hours of the morning. Kate’s heart tightened as she thought of his soft words and how she responded.
Why didn’t I tell him I love him too? She scolded herself in her mind. But she knew the answer already. Kate was afraid he would want to talk and she couldn’t. Not with him. She couldn’t have him look at her in pity or in sadness. She didn’t deserve his pity, because she was the one who ruined their lives.
“Kate,” Dr. Jameson called from the door of her office. Kate looked up and blushed when she saw the doctor smiling at her. She wondered what she would say if she knew what was going through her mind. She placed the magazine back down onto the table and followed the doctor into her office.
Doctor Paula Jameson was a tall, blonde pretty woman, with soft, caring eyes. Kate began to see her two weeks after she arrived in New York. She was recommend by a friend back home who works in the field.
“So,” she said brightly, as they both took their seats. “How have you been this week Kate?”
Somewhere Only We Know Page 2